


True colors

by EvenEth13, vrskaandrea



Series: True Colors universe [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Acceptance, Alone, Anael finds her family, Angel Blood, Angry Dean Winchester, Anti-Possession Tattoos (Supernatural), Antoher day in Paradise, Arson, Awkward introductions, Bad Feeling, Bathing/Washing, Bathtubs, Beaches, Bikinis, Black Grimoire, Bleeding, Blood Loss, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blushing Sam Winchester, Brave Dean Winchester, Car Chases, Car drifting, Caring, Chains, Chases, Child Death, Clairsentience, Classic Cars, Cold, Come Swallowing, Dean Winchester Has Broken Bones, Dean Winchester to the Rescue, Demon Blood, Demon killing knife, Demons, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Dirty Thoughts, Disney References, DocZ, DocZ isn't who he said he was, Doctor Ezekiel Jones, Dreams and Nightmares, Drowning, Embarrassed Sam Winchester, Emotional Hurt, Emotions, Empathy, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Secrets, Fast Cars, Fear, Fear of Death, Fear of Drowning, Feeling of being Safe, Feelings, Fight or Flight, Fighting, Fire, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Food, Freezing to death, Fruit salad, GTA Vice City, Genesis - Freeform, Gentle Kissing, Giving Up, Glimpse Into the Future, Grey's Anatomy References, Headaches & Migraines, Heartbreak, Hidden treasure, Hive, Home, Honda Transalp, Hope, Hospitalization, Hospitalized Dean Winchester, Hunters & Hunting, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Ice Cream, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Indecent thoughts, Infamous Winchesters, Infant Death, Infanticide, Infertility, Instinct, Intrigue, Inverted cross, Invisible touch, Kansas, Kidnapping, Kissing, Loneliness, Loss of hope, Loss of safe haven, Making Love, Meet the Family, Meeting the Parents, Monsters, Mystery Box, Naked Sam Winchester, Nightmares, North Pole, Ocean, Origin Story, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peaches - Freeform, Pie, Poker, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Radio, Reason to keep fighting, Reliving a past trauma, Rescue, Rescue Missions, Resident evil referances, Resloved Romantic tension, Resoultions, Rolling in the Snow, Roman Industries, Romantic Comedy, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Ruby ring, Running, Running Away, Safe Haven, Safe in hug, Sam Winchester is Not Amused, Sam Winchester is a badass, Sam Winchester to the Rescue, Sarah is not what she seemed to be, Scared Dean Winchester, Seaside, Secrets, Self-Reflection, Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual thoughts, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing a Bed, She can bake!, Shy Sam Winchester, Slight empathy, Snow, Snowball Fight, Sorrow, Spells & Enchantments, Stolen Glances, Stolen Moments, Strip Poker, Suicidal Thoughts, Supernatural Elements, Surprise Kissing, Survival, Sweet, Sweet and awkward, Sweet summer dress, Teasing, The Impala (Supernatural), Torture, Tracking Spell, Unconscious Dean Winchester, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Urges, Useless Vampires, Vampires, Vanilla and cherry pie, Vanilla ice-cream, Warm Sam Winchester, What-If, Whipped Cream, anael - Freeform, beef - Freeform, blade - Freeform, broken woman, bruised and battered, caressing, connecting the dots, early season referances, fake ids, flower petals, funny introductions, furious cars, happy endings, heart eyes, hopelessness, hunting tools, killing a demon, laughs, location spell, loss of home, mentions of Gabriel - Freeform, more nightmares, more then meets the eye, muscle cars, past trauma, peas, possible supernatural background of a side character, rash decisions, repell, reversed exorcism, romantic dinner, safe embrace, sam winchester is the sweetest guy, sand, sand castle, smiting, turning a nightmare around, vampire attack, wardings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2020-12-14 16:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 119,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21018527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenEth13/pseuds/EvenEth13, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vrskaandrea/pseuds/vrskaandrea
Summary: After a run of the mill hunt, the boys drive back to their motel. Along the way, Sam disappears and it is up to Dean to find him. But with all the allies gone, who will he turn to for help? Set after season 15. Possible spoilers for the current season, but I will try to avoid them.





	1. So it begins

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome. Boy, starting a new fic is hard. I never know how to start, what to say, should I even say something or get right to the point? OK, I'll be brief. Brand new story and a brand new direction for me, I haven't written one like this before. Hope you enjoy it and remember, reviews are food for a writer's soul.

Please, keep in mind I started this story after watching only the first episode of the 15th season. Everything that happens after is pure speculation. But there might be a few SPOILERS along the way. This story takes place after time, after Jack came back to life, after the Winchesters faced God and won. Now the world is safe from all the familiar big bads, Hell's gates are closed and Castiel's deal with the Empty resolved. All that is left is to fix Heaven, and seeing as Jack is the new God now, the new light of the world, he is up there, with Castiel by his side, working to fix Heaven up and possibly create more angels. With nothing else left to do, Sam and Dean are once again on the road, going back to basics and enjoying the simplicity of the regular hunts. Hey, the world will always need a bit of saving right?

* * *

**Miami, Florida**

"_Yes, Jack is doing well. We were able to persuade some of the angels on Earth to join us in Heaven to help maintain it. They know well, if it was to fall, it would affect the angels on Earth as well._" Castiel's voice was heard over the speaker. Sam held the phone between him and Dean while Dean drove.

"That's great Cass. – Sam said – with the numbers up, you think you and Jack could come for a visit soon?" There was some nostalgia in his voice that clearly said he was missing them both. Dean just cleared his throat, but said nothing. After he pulled the gun on the kid, he and Cass weren't as close friends as they once were. Something between them broke, and neither had the time to try and fix it.

There was a moment of silence on Castiel's part, as if he was waiting for someone else to say something, but when no words came, he replied "_I doubt it will be possible. A few angels left looking for more of our brothers and sisters, not just seraphs, but reapers and cupids as well. – _there was a small sigh that escaped Castiel before he continued – _Things were really bad. We made it just in time. If it were to fall, there would be no way of restoring it, and all the souls would either remain on Earth to become vengeful spirits or end up in Hell to become demons. I am hoping we will soon find a way to create more angels or at least something else to help power up the Heavens."_

Sam glanced over at Dean, hoping he would say something, and his expression saddened a bit when Dean didn't react, keeping his eyes on the road the entire time.

"Ok, well, if you need us, if there is any way we could help, call, ok?" Sam offered help for the millionth time, but they all knew there was nothing in the lore about this, and since they were human, there wasn't really anything they could do.

"_Thank you, Sam. I will... -_ Cass paused again, but continued more quickly than the last time - _I will be up in Heaven, so I won't have any service on my phone, but the prayers still work, so... Yeah, you know. Goodbye, Sam."_

_"_Bye, Cass." Sam said sadly ending the call, and after glancing at his brother, he shook his head. Dean was being really stubborn about this, and Sam didn't even really know what this was anymore. But he knew his brother; he knew that Dean just needed a bit of time to come to his senses. That, or a life and death situation, an apocalypse on the horizon, but by looks of it, thankfully there won't be one any time soon.

Moments later, Dean pulled into a parking lot of a small store and got out of the car. Sam followed, deciding he needed air. They both just finished a vampire hunt in Dodge Island and were driving back to their motel, it was a long drive. Miami was a big, expensive town. Sam took a deep breath and leaned against the Impala, wishing he could start a conversation with his brother about him and Cass.

"You need anything?" Dean asked walking around the car, heading for the store. It was getting late, and they were hungry. Luckily, the hunt went smooth with minimal blood spatter, so they didn't need to hide all the way to the motel, or worse, change their clothes on the middle of the road.

"Aside from a shower and a bed? No, not really." Sam said, even though he felt his stomach growled at him. He was more tired than hungry anyway.

"I'll get you one of those power bars you like so much." Dean shouted as he walked away, the ever present need to make sure Sam is ok resurfaced like it always does after a hunt. Sam first, Dean second. Sam just nodded at that and looked away towards the ocean.

A few seconds later he flinched, as he felt a pinch in his shoulder, his 'God-given' scar acting up. He turned to where Dean went, but instead of him, he saw a blond woman going pass him, hugging her groceries in her arms. She was cute and smiled at him shyly as she walked by, hiding her piercing blue eyes behind long eyelashes. He smiled back politely,staying in the spot looking after her walking away and he huffed a smile to himself.

Sam felt old. He was thirty-six and Dean was pushing forty and it was sad and amazing at the same time. Considering all the things they have been through, considering how many times they died, they were still here, still kicking and still doing what they've always done. It seemed like a few lifetimes have passed since Sam felt like a normal human being, back at Stanford, back with Jess.

He raised his head high, blinking away the tears. He hadn't thought about her in so long, and she deserved to be thought about, to be remembered. He made a mental note to go and visit her grave after this hunt. He took a deep breath and hung his head low, closing his eyes.

After he yelled at Sam he was going to get him one of those granola bars or whatever, (Dean would never understand why not just take a Snickers), Dean walked pass a nice little bike, a Honda bike, Transalp XL600V, a metallic black beauty. Dean admired her for a moment as he walked past it, and then went inside the store.

He brushed past a brunette, and could help but check her out as she propt to reach something of a higher shelf. Dean picked up two water bottles and a six pack and circled back to the pastries. He set his hand on the last packed pie and felt a small jolt of electricity. His eyes snapped at the pie, then on the hand that also tried to pick it up, and then on the woman whose hand it was. His gaze met a dark set of brown eyes glaring at him. He reached for the pie again at the same time the brunette did, and as they both set their hands on it, a silent staring contest began.

Who is gonna get the last pie?

Her eyes darted him as his did the same, both holding on to the package tightly, both like two tigers circling one another, expecting the other to make a move. But then the sneaky little devil she was, the brunette nudged the six pack he was barely holding along with water bottles, hugging them with his left hand and it made him flinch, not wanting to drop any of it.

Taking advantage of this momentary distraction, she yanked her hand and managed to pull up the package, winning the battle over the last pie. She smirked at him, an amused smile and winked at him before turning around to go to the register. Slight anger washed over him as he watched her walk away, and then it went away with a sigh.

Dean felt tired. Something with him felt off, ever since that graveyard, ever since he learned Chuck was playing with them. A lot of things fell apart then. He couldn't look at Jack after that, embarrassed to the core for letting himself be manipulated into pointing the gun at the kid. It was so obvious the kid was trying; he even let himself be locked in that damn box.

Cass was just trying to show him that, to show him how wrong he was, but he was so stubborn, so angry then, so much anger built up and... He hated himself for everything that happened and he just couldn't let it go. He knew he should, he knew it would drive him mad and even might drive Sam away, but he just couldn't let it go. It was his fault after all it was all on him. Jack losing his grace because they let Lucifer get into his head, Jack losing his life, Jack losing his soul.

Dean closed his eyes for a brief moment to calm himself and took in a few deep breaths. He walked to the register right behind that brunette and as she paid for her pie and her beer, she turned and walked away, no sparing him a glance. It made him feel worse.

Dean grabbed a few granola bars and a few Snickers bars and paid, then turned to leave. He walked out and glanced at the black bike again. He smiled ironically noticing a pentagram on the trunk case on the back of the bike. Walking over to the impala, his face turned more serious with every step he took.

"Sam?" he tried once.

"Sam?!" he tried the second time.

"SAM!?" he tried the third time, yelling loudly and went around the car to case the surroundings.

His breathing picked up and his heart pounded harder, because Sam was nowhere in sight.

"Ok, ok, calm down – he said to himself, putting the stuff he bought in the backseat – maybe... maybe he just went to take a walk or... or to find a bathroom..." Dean forced himself to calm down. He pulled out his phone and dialled Sam's number.

A sharp pain cut right through Dean's chest when he heard the familiar ringtone and he snapped his head down. Sam's phone was down on the ground, display smashed from the fall. All hope drained away and Dean brought his gaze up, looking really scared.

Sam was gone.


	2. Going out of my mind

Staring at the phone on the ground, Dean felt his breathing pick up again. A sharp pain cut through his chest and he clunched them with his hand, squeezing hard to diract the pain with pain. This isn't supposed to happen, not any more. Things were supposed to be easy now, they were supposed to be simple.

His thoughts were more frantic then his line of sight that darted everywhere around him, to a man leaning tiredly on a palm tree, to a child happily eating an ice-cream holding his mother's hand, to a pick-up truck honking, the driver waving someone with a smile.

Dean wanted to panic, he wanted to scream his brother's name, he wanted to cry out, he wanted him to be here. Now. His own hand dug into his chest to ease his rapid heart-beat, as if it was trying to tell him he has to stop panicking and start looking. Now.

Dean blinked and nodded to himself, forcing his breathing to take on a steady rhythm, and looked back down on the ground. Leaning over, he picked up Sam's phone and examined it. The display cracked forming a snowflake, but the phone still worked. Dean went though it, but found nothing. Sam could have just been holding it when whoever took him and made him drop it.

Dean's eyes widened at a thought and he darted around the ground and over the car again. No signs of a struggle. Nothing seemed disturbed and he was sure someone would react if Sam was being attacked, the street was crowded with people passing by. That just left two options. Sam either left willingly held at a consealed gunpoint or was taken by something more powerful. Something that had the power to teleport him out of there. And Dean's money was on the second scenario.

Looking around again, trying to find any clue, his breathing picking up again at the nervousness he felt, because there was nothing. Not a single bread crumb, not a single trace. Dean's lower lip trembled, fear rushing over him for a second before morphing into anger. He just had to take that beer and that damn candy bar. He had to stop here, couldn't wait till they got to their motel and then after to the diner. He cursed at himself and rose his eyes to the store.

Damn, why didn't he think of it before? The store had security cameras, there had to be something on them, anything to send Dean in the right direction. In a split second, Dean was through the door and in the store, glaring at the kid behind the counter as he flashed his fake FBI badge and demanded to see the footage.

"I...I don't..." the kid tried startled by Dean's angry approach and the death glare in his eyes.

"Listen, kid. This is a matter of life and death. I need to see that footage, NOW!" Dean yelled at the poor kid making him back away, clearly scared now. Dean pushed him away as he rounded the counter and looked around under it. Nothing.

"Where is your control room? Where do you store the footage?" Dean swung around and shouted at the kid, and when he got no answer from him, Dean grabbed him by the collar and got into his face.

"Where. Is. It?!" Dean hissed through his teeth and eyes the clearly terrified kid.

"There... Aren't... Any..." the kid barely managed, feeling Dean's grip on his shirt cutting into his neck and choking him a bit, very close to pissing his pants. Dean let him go, frowning at him, more surprised by his statement then understanding how much he freaked the kid out. He stood there eyeing the kid, his glare demanding an explanation.

'Brian' panted, and looked at Dean with clear fear in his eyes, trying to decide if he should keep quite or explain, considering which option would bring him less pain. Finally deciding to tell the angry man the truth, hoping that the agent had enough common sense to understand it wasn't Brian's fault, he spoke, stuttering "Th... They are fffake. The cccameras. Bbboss didn't waaawant to spend mmmoney..."

Brian sucked in a breath, seeing the face of the agent before him take a more darker tone, but the second later he let it out in relief when the agent swung around and just left.

Dean stumbled out of the store, different feelings bubbling inside of him. He darted around again, eyes wondering over the bike to his car, a part of him hoping it was a dream, a momentary insanity, and Sam was still there, leaning on the car. With their track record? Yeah, not gonna happen.

His eyes wondered all around again, feeling the panic resurface and take him over once again, and he tried to shove it down, he tried to focus and rethink. He needed help, he needed... He frowned. Jack and Cas were in Heaven, Rowena far away, and there was a part of Dean that felt too proud to call any of them. He wasn't that incompetent, he could find a way himself. Besides, Sam was only gone like maybe 30 minutes and...

Dean's eyes widened, and a small smile crept up on his face as he spotted a video store across the street and a but-load of cameras all around. Jackpot. Dean broke into a sprint, jumping a bit off his path as not to be hit by a car. He maneuvered over the incoming traffic and ignored the blaring honks and swear words directed his way.

Busting in through the door, he startled the over grown teenager, a man probably in his thirties who still lived with his mom, in her basement. The guy was leaning in his chair, watching a movie or something when Dean stumbled in, slamming the front door open, and made him fall off his chair.

"Hello?" Dean asked a bit urgently as he stepped to the counter, not noticing the guy fell down. He flinched when the guy jumped up from behind the counter and raised an eyebrow, confused as why would he be down there. Dean scanned the guy, noticing his very dark hair and an attempt of a bear circling his already round face. And a name tag. 'Ethan'

"How may I assist you, sir?" Ethan asked, his head high. He was one of those man-in-black conspiracy nuts who "wanted to believe" and was suspicious of Dean's behavior. In fact he was suspicious of everyone and mostly delusional. His eyes widened in delight when Dean flashed him his FBI badge, and Ethan raised an amused eyebrow.

"Agent Smith. I need to look at your surveillance cameras." Dean said with a deadly serious voice, glaring at him, but Ethan didn't seem to pick up on the gravity of Dean's voice. He squinted his eyes at the agent, knowing well an action he requested would usually involve a warrant, but he was intrigued by him.

"Well, step right this way, agent." Ethan said and motioned his hand in a very royal manner, almost bowing down. Dean rolled his eyes and followed the man to the back room. Ethan sat on a chair and Dean leaned over, looking at the screen, explaining to him which point of view he needed and the time frame.

And while Ethan eyed the agent for any reaction, for any tell of emotions, Dean's eyes were glued to the screen. The camera was at a lower point then usual, but still gave a perfect view. He saw Sam step out of the car and then lean against it, while Dean circled the car to go to the store. He saw him watching the ocean, and then looking up, noticing the same thing Dean noticed. A girl, a blond walking past him, with her groceries in her hands.

Dean squinted his eyes at her, taking a mental picture and assigning her as a possible clue. He said nothing, only continued to watch as Sam lifted his head high, and then dart the ground before he looked at the ocean again. By his stance, Dean could tell something was bothering him, and a thought crawled into Dean's mind. He has been difficult lately. What if Sam just decided to take off?

No, no, he wouldn't do that, Dean assured himself. Sam wouldn't just walk away. He would at least, AT LEAST leave a note, but more likely he would try to talk to his brother. After everything they have been through he wouldn't just leave. Dean was worse a lot of times and Sam still didn't leave. He wouldn't do that. And he certainly wouldn't leave his phone behind like that, no way.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked baffled and angry when for a split second a passing bus obscured the view of the camera and when it went away, Sam was no longer there. One second he was there, the next he wasn't.

Ethan peeled his eyes of the hunter to look at the monitor and rewound the footage by a few seconds. He squinted his eyes at it and watched as the tall dude with a hank of hair disappeared in the thin air. "Woaw..." he let out, amazed by this magic trick and rewound it again, gazing into the screen.

"Woaw... The dude just vanished! Did you see that?" Ethan asked excitedly. This could be his chance. This could be the proof he needed, the proof that there was 'something out there'. He flinched at the thought and glanced at the 'agent', hoping he could still get out of it.

"No, wait... Did you see that flicker... That must be the camera acting up again. I had that happen before, you know. There was this one time..." Ethan would rant on, trying to distract the 'agent', to make him think it was just a faulty camera. He didn't want him taking the footage away, and maybe even flashing him with a neuralizer or something like that.

"Can you make me a copy?" Dean asked completely ignoring the guy's rants, and Ethan's eyes flared up.

"A copy? Yeah, I can make you a copy." _And one for myself too._ He said as he worked on the computer next to the screen. He was so glad Dean's attention was to the footage as he repeatedly watched it while Ethan made the copies.

"Here you go, sir. One copy of the footage." Ethan finally said, handing Dean a thumb drive.

Dean glanced at him and took the drive, pocketing it before turning his attention back on the screen. "Thanks. Hey, do you who this woman is?"

Ethan raised an eyebrow, looking and then squinting at the screen, trying to identify the woman on the screen. Like he had an epiphany, his eyes widened and he turned to smile at Dean. "Oh, I know her, alright... That's Sarah. Sarah Jones. The neighborhood wack job, a self proclaimed psychic. She lives in that old dirty house down the road." Ethan said with a condescending tone Dean just didn't like and it showed.

"A psychic?" Dean asked.

Meeting the hunters angry face, Ethan turned serious again as he explained. "Yeah... She can like... Read people's emotions or whatever. She had a melt down like over a decade ago. Personally, I think that strange weather patterns affected her, but who knows? She is just some wack, man."

Dean glared at him for a moment, wishing so hard he could just punch this asshole. He so needed to vent. But instead, he just turned and walked away.

* * *

"_They told him don't you ever come around here___  
Don't want to see your face, you better disappear  
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear  
So beat it, just beat it "

The familiar Michael Jackson song blared out of the radio, and Dean could tell the knocking was pointless. Someone was clearly there, but they couldn't hear him over the loud music. There was no doorbell, and the knocking wasn't working, so he decided not to bang at the door like he normally would. For some strange reason, he didn't want to startle whoever was inside. If she really was a psychic, maybe she saw what happened, maybe she could even help and he needed a subtle approach.

Not like he had any better leads.

"_You better run, you better do what you can_  
Don't want to see no blood, don't be a macho man  
You want to be tough, better do what you can  
So beat it, but you want to be bad "

The song went on as he stepped into an unlocked house, all the while trying to outshout the music, yelling "Hello?! Anybody home?!" The music seemed to be coming from somewhere to the right and he entered the hallway, closing the door behind him, and peeked into the living room/dining room. From there, he could see motion up front in what appeared to be a small separated kitchen.

He walked inside slowly, still yelling "Hello?" over the music, still unheard. The air around him seemed to have dried out in an instant and his next "Hello?" came out a little more muffled as his eyes darted around. There was also a sound of a mixer and the clang of dishes, and then he picked up on it.

"_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it_  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it"

A voice, singing along to the song in such a cheerful, but shy way. And then he saw her. He saw the blond little pony tail bouncing around as she swayed to the music next to the counter, working on something, adding eggs and milk, splashing flour everywhere.

He felt mesmerized by her, and he knew it. He knew there was something about her, something unordinary, something different. Something... He watched her pull out some pots and pans, like she was trying to find something specific and his hand reached out to tap her on the shoulder, as he was mouthing another "Hello?"

And then there was a big, heavy frying pan flying straight to his face. And as he slipped into the darkness, he could still hear Michael Jackson singing...

"_They're out to get you, better leave while you can_  
Don't want to be a boy, you want to be a man  
You want to stay alive, better do what you can  
So beat it, just beat it"


	3. Something about you

"OH, CRAP!" Sarah half squealed, half shouted, bringing her hands to cup her cheeks in surprise, managing to smear flour all over her self. She heard someone creeping in behind her, she could feel him, his presence, and she panicked. Aside from two people who wouldn't come unannounced, she didn't really know anyone else, so it scared her to know someone was in her house.

She swung the frying pan that was conveniently there, but she didn't mean to hit him that hard. She didn't mean for him to stumble back and fall down, unconscious and bleeding a bit. Shit, she could get sued for that. Even though he as the one doing the B&E. Crap, shit, crap.

Panicking again, she looked around, as if the kitchen or Michael Jackson could tell her what to do, and then she brought her gaze upon the man at her feet. A thought passed her mind and it seemed to ease the panic a bit, as she took a deep breath and studied the man's features.

She could see he was about her age, maybe a bit older, but a lot more run down then her. The creases on his forehead and the bags under his eyes spoke of a man who fought long and fought hard, and who, despite being tired, is still willing to fight. And his full lips and those cute little freckles warned he was once a heart-breaker, if he isn't one still.

She took a deep breath and released it, readying herself for something she knew she needed to do. The man was on her floor, unconscious and bleeding, maybe even with a concussion and she was faced with two options. Call the police and face a possible lawsuit and more monetary issues, or help him and speak to him, when he wakes up. If he wakes up.

"Oh, crap." She said again out loud. If only there was a way she could make sure he will be alright and at the same time make sure he is a good person and not some serial killer or serial rapist. If only she could magically see just what lies behind that pretty face. Oh wait, there is. She could just make physical contact and close her eyes and open her mind to him like she has done before.

But she hated it. She hated invading someone's privacy like that even when they asked for it, because most of the time, people didn't know, didn't expect her to be the real deal. And she hated it because most of the time, what she saw only wavered her belief in mankind. All those self-absorbing, egotistical people. Her head hurt just thinking about it.

Sarah bit her lip. She was no angel either, she did use her gift once or twice to avoid making payments, to delay them, but she felt guilty every time she did it. She promised herself that the last time was the last time, and then this happened. Crap. Still biting down on her lip, she squatted down next to the man on the floor and touched his hand, closing her eyes.

The contact sent a small electrical jolt, and she gasped flinching back. She only caught a glimpse, but he was different, so different than anyone she ever meet. All those thoughts long forgotten, she knew she had to make contact, she wanted, she needed to know more.

Beautiful and terrifying. He was both beautiful and terrifying. The emotions and essences inside of his cracked and chipped out soul gave some wonderful divine colors swimming around in the whirlpool, clashing with some very angry and dark sights. Being in the middle of it made her gasped at the beauty of the balanced parts of him that made him what he is. She teared up, unable to come back to her own self-conscious, unable to peel her eyes away from his hurting soul.

In the middle of all that commotion, of all those essences she has never seen in another person' soul, she could see a curled up little boy, a scared little creature looking around the colors that surrounded him, creating a prison in his own mind. A scared little boy who just wanted it all gone.

It would take Sarah a lot of time to understand exactly what all those colors, all those essences represented, learning about angelic grace, demonic influence,Archangel possession and the Darkness herself. But all she could see know, all she could understand now is that poor little boy, curled up, hugging his knees and crying his eyes out for someone.

She wanted, she needed to comfort him, and she made a mistake of reaching out to him. As soon as she did, she knew it was a mistake, because all those colors that were swimming around him broke free and charged her.

Sarah gasped coming back to herself and looked down at the man, terrified, but sad. It was clear he had lost someone, more then just someone and that he was barely hanging might say she knew how that felt, having lost her entire family, but it wouldn't be true, because she as too young to remember. Too young to develop memories, too young to develop that kind of an attachment.

At the same time there was something familiar about him, or more accurately his soul, and she couldn't shake the feeling that they were connected somehow. And with her abilities, she knew not to dismiss such instincts. Maybe he holds the answer she was looking for her entire life, answers to who she is.

"Ok...Ok..." Sarah said to herself and looked over the man on her floor. She leaned forward and nudged him with her hand, trying to wake him up, trying, trying and failing. She hit him too hard.

"Damn it... - She let out with a breath and tried to remain calm – OK... OK..." She looked around and spotted her couch in her living room. Nodding to it, and to herself, thinking that is what she needs to do next, she took a deep breath and went around him. He was lying feet facing the living room and he picked them up, noticing they were filthy and frowning at him for a brief second, she started to pull. And pull. And pull.

"Uuugf..." Sarah let out a breath, blowing away a string of her blond hair that fell over her face, sweating a bit, and clearly annoyed she wasn't able to move him much due to the fabric of his pants and the fact that his boots were really muddy. Ok, time for a different approach.

She went around him again, and examined, thinking of the best way to do this. Finally settling on another idea, she reached and grabbed his arm, pulling him, trying to circle him around and then towards the couch. She managed a better grip on his arm and hand and pulled him to turn. Happy that it was working and glancing back to see the distance to the couch, still pulling, she managed to hit his head in the door frame.

"Oopsy... Sorry, dude." she said with a scrunched up face. If she ever manages to get him to the couch, she will definitely put some ice on his head.

Thirty minutes later and some manhandling he did not need to know about(he was a big heavy man and she needed to lift him on to the couch somehow, right?), Dean was lying peacefully on the couch, covered with a blanket and with an ice pack on his head. Sarah was looming over him, considering what to do. She knew he was just unconscious, no really injury from the blow... Ok, blows to the head, aside from a minor cut on his head and a bump.

Going to the bathroom, she opened her mirror and pulled some medical alcohol and some cotton wipes, to clean the wound, and at the same time fumbled with her phone. Going over to the only name she could call in this situation she reached DocZ and dialed. Sure she could call Uncle Dom, but he would either tell her to kill the man and bury his body, or more likely, he would come over and do it himself.

"C'mon, c'mon, pick up, pick up..." She pleaded, but had no such luck. Doc Z, Doctor Ezekiel Jones was currently on a seminar half way across the country and she knew she would have a tough time reaching him.

Sarah brought her gaze to the mirror and watched her own reflection for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and saying "Ok, you got this. You got this." Exiting the bathroom, clutching the small bottle of alcohol, she walked back to the intruder, sat on the floor next ho the couch and opened the medical alcohol. Pouring some on the cotton wipe, she removed the ice-pack from the time being to clean up the small cut.

She frowned when he didn't react to the sting of the alcohol, realizing he was deep under and would take some time to wake up. She would just have to wait. Sarah's eyes lingered on Dean's face as she swiped over the cut, examining his features, liking the freckles that were spread on his nose. They made her smile, and maybe even blush a bit. He was good looking after all, nobody could deny that.

After she was finished with the wound, she put the ice-pack back on his head and tried hard to peel her eyes off of him. Glancing over to the kitchen, she decided she might as well finish the vanilla cream and cherry pie she was making, knowing he would be out for a while, so she got up and went back inside the kitchen.

* * *

Dean woke up to a sound of some guy singing nasally and in such a high pitch, Dean's ears hurt. He was singing about a dirt bag and a girl not knowing what she was missing. Yeah, a very pop rock, late nineties music Dean didn't really like. Especially when they had that kind of a voice that made his headache worse.

Dean grunted silently waking up and pulled his hand from under that blanket. He immediately went for his aching head and frowned finding an ice pack there. Pulling it off his head, he placed it on the couch and slowly raised himself to a sitting position, grunting.

The second he raised his head, a smell of vanilla and cherry hit him, along with a sense of baked dough and he forced his eyes open, looking around the unfamiliar living room. Where was he? He couldn't remember much and when he tried to reach his last memory, a sharp pain would threaten to tear his head open. He just needed to get a grip on himself, to focus and to stop listening to a guy trying to convince him to listen to Iron Maiden with him.

There was a sound, a clank or a screech and Dean looked behind him, only to see a kitchenette there, the lovely smell coming from there. Frowning and grunting, he slowly pulled himself up to stand and turned to the entrance to the small kitchen. He was suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of déjà vu and then it all came back in an instant.

The vampire nest, the drive to the motel, Sam disappearing and the girl. The girl that saw him last. And Dean's stupid decision to sneak up on a psychic. He should know better by now. Breathing in and out, he swallowed and walked to the kitchen door. Spotting the girl leaning over and pulling something from the oven, he breathed in and out again, the stress of the day and the injury to his head not making it any easier for him, and he finally said "Hello?"

He blinked in confusion at how quickly she jumped up and turned to him, her hands in mittens, holding a steaming pie. He froze looking at her, at her blond hair that was in a pony tail, a few strands falling off to the side. He froze looking into her eyes that held the color of the bluest purest water stream. He froze looking at her, standing there with a fresh baked pie in her hands. He would have stayed like that staring for a long time had she not interrupted his trance.

Huffing a forced smile, a smile wrapped in guilt, she said "Hi." and placed the pie in front of her, on a small table. "I… I am sorry about… That…" She said glancing over at his head, and Dean snapped out of it, looking at her confused before remembering the frying pan flying his way and the pain in his head.

He too huffed an awkward smile as he replied "That's… That's ok, I had it coming. I… I am sorry I snuck upon you, I shouldn't have…" Dean trailed off, not sure what to say. How would he explain he was a bit stunned by her at that moment and… Focus, Dean. You have work to do. No time to mess around.

"I… I am Dean." He said and paused, not sure why. He saw her face lit up a bit at his name and she smiled fondly at him.

"Sarah." she said and watched him smiled shyly at her. There was some sweet awkwardness to the situation, and neither could stop sparing hidden glances to the other.

Finally, Sarah spoke up, not really wanting to break the moment, but feeling the necessity to do it. "You lost someone. And you need help finding them?" She asks softly and was expecting confusion on his part, a flinch of a reaction as to how she knew that, but she ended up being surprised when he just nodded, completely accepting she knew things she shouldn't have.

Could it be? Could he be that different she could accept the things she knew? Could he even know more?

"Ok. You should know I have no magical way of returning…" she trailed off.

"My brother." He filled in the blanks.

"…returning your brother to you. I can't just snap my fingers and have him pop up." She tried to explain and frowned at his statement.

"I hope not." Dean muttered to himself, knowing only a few such creatures that had the power to do that. "Look. I know you're a psychic, the video store guy told me. And I don't have a problem with that, I am a hunter and so is my brother. We have seen it all, believe me. We were just on our way to our motel after we took down some vampires and he disappeared in front of the store. You were there, you saw him last. You remember a guy leaning on a black Impala?" Dean blurted it all out in one breath, some urgency in his voice and watched her face go from confused to slightly pale and worried, maybe even fearful.

His next thought was _Oh! Shit!_ when he heard her question, when it dawned on him she didn't know.

Sarah's voice shook as she tried to conceal the fear. "V…Vampires? They… They are real?"


	4. Christmas has come early

It was like falling asleep and going through the darkness to reach the dream land. And this dream… It was the one Sam hadn't dreamt in so long. Too long. It brought him pain, but it also brought him pleasure, the sweet torment of feeling her next to him, in his arms. Of feeling the softness of her skin, the warmth of her body, the smell of lavender in her hair.

Sam refused to open his eyes, refused to come back from the dream land, drifting peacefully, drifting happily, having the love of his life in his arms once again. Having Jess there, being able to sense her breath on his bare chest, able to run his fingers up and down her back, able to hold her close and just feel her there.

He refused to come back and face the possibility he was just in a warm bed, hugging a pillow. So he kept his eyes closed and he leaned forward, not knowing if it was real or just a dream, or maybe even Heaven. He leaned forward and took a deep breath through his nose, relishing the smell of her hair and he smiled sadly hearing her huff a smile at that. He gasped feeling her come closer, snuggling her cold nose in the fold between his neck and his shoulder and he could feel himself shake.

Yeah, this was definitely Heaven. He was dead and his soul was in heaven, reliving some of his best memories. Damn it. Any minute now Cass or Jack will be storming in, scolding him and pushing him back on Earth and back into his life and… Sam didn't want to go back. Not yet anyway. He just wanted a few minutes with her, holding her and just… Damn it, doesn't he deserve that? Doesn't he deserve to be just a bit happy?

Doesn't he deserve to feel that hand of hers that was caressing his chest before going over his shoulder to brush his back? Doesn't he deserve to feel her cold feet seeking his in order to warm up? Doesn't he deserve just a moment?

His breath hitched and he pulled her closer again, wishing the moment could last forever, and then he let her go, and he could feel her raising her head higher, feel her warm breath tracing up his neck and he leaned down, meeting her half way.

He forgot what it felt like to kiss her, he forgot what her lips tasted like. He squeezed his eyes shut, still drifting in that half sleep and just kept kissing her, enjoying the feel of her soft lips on his, the way her teeth nibbled on his lower lip, the way her tongue danced around his. God, this felt so good, it felt right. Sam never wanted it to end.

As she pulled away to catch a breath, Sam was left half frozen, his mouth half open, his heart aching. He feared if he opened his eyes now he won't find her there, but at the same time he wanted to see her so badly it hurt. He wanted to see her so much, tears started forming in his eyes.

Sam drew in a shaky breath, and started to peel his eyelids open, desperately hoping she would be there. His vision was a bit cloudy and as he tried to focus, he could see certain outlines. His heart threatened to leap out of his chest as some things came into focus, like that little nose and those full lips and her... Chestnut colored hair?

Sam blinked a few times, completely baffled by what he was seeing, and he froze, looking at an unfamiliar woman as she snuggled back into his chest, making him gasp.

"Oh, Jake... I've missed you so much..." She whispered and Sam realized, just like him a moment ago, she thought he was someone else. Still confused, still in shock, he hadn't moved away from her, instead letting his mouth drop open and stare at her.

"Ugh..." slipped out of his mouth and then he was met with a smile that quickly vanished and a piercing set of dark brown eyes that widened as soon as they realized he wasn't who she thought he was. A second past with staring at one another before she managed to snap herself out of it and scream to his face.

Sam jumped away, away from her, and as he tried to get off the bed, she pulled the sheets and he ended up on with his bare ass on the floor. Oh, shit. He was naked? Sam's cheeks burned red in an instant and his hand went to grab the pillow his head was resting on a second ago. He pulled himself up and away from the bed, glancing around for clothes. Finding nothing, he brought his attention back on her.

She was half sitting half standing on the edge of the bed, glaring at him angrily and he felt so confused and so ashamed. He saw her eyes flicker around the room, and there was a certain coldness the her motions, a firm stance on her behalf. Almost as if she was...

"I am gonna take a wild guess and say you have no idea what is going on?" She asked squinting her eyes at him, before they wondered off, downward, a flash of amusement passing through them as she looked at the pillow he was holding. She raised her eyes to his face and let a small smile creep up on her lips at his embarrassment.

Sam hadn't noticed it straight away, he was busy hiding his shame to see the first thing she did was run her hand under the pillow. As he rolled off the bed, he dragged the sheets and she quickly pulled them, covering her own nakedness. She quickly shot up and darted the room a few times before refocusing on the man, eyeing him and making sure he isn't a threat.

Sam shook his head, suggesting he didn't know, but was left speechless beyond that, staring at her. She shifted a bit, feeling uncomfortable herself, but quickly gathered her thoughts. There was something, the first thing she noticed and she needed to know, she needed to make sure...

"Nice tattoo." she said meaningfully locking her eyes with his and then added "You hunt?" Sam was too experienced to take that bait, but this situation had him confused and he let his guard down and gave out an unwilling small flinch at her question.

She could see the flinch and his attempt to hide it, his attempt to stand strong and mysterious, while standing almost completely naked and she had to smile at that. Not saying a word, she rolled her eyes, trying to look annoyed, but that smile of amusement still showed on her face as she let the sheet slip off of her shoulder and almost all the way to her breast. She could see Sam gasping and his eyes widening at her motion and he tried to look away, he tried and failed.

There it was, the same tattoo, the mark of the hunters. The anti possession tattoo.

Sam blinked a few times, trying hard to come to his senses, to get a grasp of the situation he found himself in. She seemed to be taking it pretty well, and it helped him relax as well. Their eyes met again, and there was some understanding in her eyes, but then her those dark browns wondered off downward again and as she smiled, he could feel his cheeks burning up again. He cleared his throat and tried looked to the ground, feeling completely ashamed.

"I'm Julia. Julia Anderson. But everyone calls me Juls." She said turning around, letting her guard down and looking around the room. She spotted a small dresser away from the door and went to it to try and find some clothes. She was rummaging through it when she heard him say his name and she came to an abrupt stop.

"Sam. Sam Winchester." Sam said and flinched when she stopped dead in her tracks. Juls turned to him, her eyes wide, disbelief on her face. Or it was more like she prayed she misheard him.

"W...Winchester? As... As in the Winchesters?" she asked with a mix of emotions Sam just couldn't pinpoint. Did he sense fear in her voice? He nodded reluctantly and gasped when she said "Oh, I am so dead." That hit a nerve and Sam felt sorrow wash over him, right after that sharp pain that went through his chest. Juls didn't notice his reaction at first, going back to find anything wearable, at the same time trying to figure out what she is going to do. First she has to find out where they are.

The last drawer was Bingo, as she found unpacked sweat pants, T shirts and sweat shirts along with thick wool socks. No underwear in sight. Commando style it is. She turned to hand Sam clothes she found that she though it would fit and sighed seeing the look on his face. She cussed internally for having her mouth faster then her brain sometimes.

"I... I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean..." Juls tried, but Sam just shook his head.

"It's ok. I get it. It's fine." He replied making her feel even more guilty. Her eyes wondered off, unable to look at him and the bed came into view. _Oh, crap!_ Of course. He must have thought he was with someone else too, just like she thought she was with Jake. _Idiot! A goddamn idiot!_ She cursed at herself and tried to force her look upon him once again.

It was a sore subject for her, so it must be for him too. Oh, how she hated this, how she hated these moments. She sucked at giving a comforting word, and she was better at bashing both verbally and physically. She would sometimes, if the opportunity allows it, try and joke her way out of it, but this time she didn't know what to say.

"Thanks." Sam broke the silence taking the clothes and she just nodded picking up hers.

"You... um... Mind turning around?" As soon as she asked, she smiled at herself as it dawned on her, but tried to hide the smile.

Sam first nodded in response, but then blushed red again, and asked, as politely and as shyly as possible. "Would... would you mind turning around first?" He did have only one pillow in his hands and it was covering his front.

Juls raised an amused brow at him, and asked innocently. "Why?" Sam darted the ground at this point, wishing badly he could just make himself invisible and stop that damn fire in his cheeks. "Oh, don't get your panties in a twist. I was just teasing. I'll turn around." Juls added smiling and he finally looked up at her, a small smile forming on his lips.

Turning away from each other, they started dressing, and Juls snuck a peek, biting her lip at his naked figure, but snapped her eyes back to front when it seemed like he felt her watching her. Sam indeed felt her eyes on him, but fought against looking back at her.

"So, you got any idea what happened? - Juls started - Why did we end up here?"

"No idea." Sam said over his shoulder as he pulled the sweat pants up, feeling less embarrassed already.

"Ok, so we need to find out the 5W." Juls stated and made Sam frowned, daring to look and finding her just finishing clothing herself, catching just a glimpse of her skin and blushing again. What was with him, he questioned. He never acted like that before.

"The 5W?" he asked curiously, trying to hide his eyes.

"The who, what, where, why and how." Juls replied.

"That isn't really..." Sam started and she rolled her eyes at him. Yeah, it wasn't 5W it was more like 4W and an H, but c'mon. This sounded cooler to her. It sounded familiar to him, it sounded like something his brother might come up with. Shaking his head, he put on a genuine smile, something she was glad to see.

"Ok, let's go find out what is going on." She said nodding and went for the door. She listened in on the other side, hearing only some sort of ventilation. Trying the door knob, she could see it wasn't locked and she gestured to Sam. Coming closer, Sam looked at her and nodded. They both wished they had any kind of weapon, but the room was empty aside from the bed and the dresser Juls already searched.

Juls took a deep breath and in one swift motion opened the door. Her eyes widened and she gasped, hearing Sam do the same a second later. The hallway was left uninspected as of yet, because they were welcomed with a sign, a big metal plate that told them exactly where they were.

"DYE 3 NORTH POLE RESEARCH STATION"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is the 21st of October and it is my birthday, and I am not ashamed to ask for a gift. Gift me with thy lovely reviews, oh glorious readers.
> 
> Lol. But seriously, what do you guys think? You met both Dean's and Sam's love interests, caught a glimpse of their personalities. Do you like them? Do you hate them? Are you jealous of them? I know I am.


	5. Things that go bump in the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to point out, yes, there will be some funny bits to the story, but there will be a lot of emotions, pain and fear. I plan to send the boys on a very hard journey that will make them open up to the possibility of love.

" OH, CRAP!" was Dean's reaction to the paleness of Sarah's face, the fear in her eyes and the shortness of breath that was indicating a panic attack. He saw her shaking hand reach for the chair and he saw her plump down on it hard, staring into the space in front of her for a moment. He thought about giving her a glass of water or a paper bag, but suddenly her quick breaths slowed down and Dean could see she was putting an effort into calming herself down.

"OK, ok... I'm ok." Sarah said and threw her hands on the shaky table, making the plates clink. She took a deep breath and released it and then slumped her face forward, catching it with her hands, burying it there. This was big, this was huge. And she was supposed to be a psychic, how didn't she know about this? How didn't she know there was a whole world out there, filled with monsters and vampires and...

"So, they are real? They are all real?" Sarah asked, removing her hands from her face, but keeping them on her ears as if she wasn't sure she wanted to hear the truth. She didn't even look at Dean, just kept staring somewhere in front of her, somewhere distant.

"Uh-huh." Dean said barely audible, but could see she heard it. Sarah closed her eyes heavily and took another deep breath. After he let slip out that vampires were real and that he was a hunter, he explained about the rest, he explained that yes, there are monsters in the closet, yes, there are things that hide under your bed. But also there are hunters and psychics and good witches who work to stop those monster from hurting anyone, and it seemed to have eased her mind just a bit.

"Ok, so, vampires? - she formed it in a form of a question and when Dean nodded, she kept going – Werewolves? Ghosts? Those too...ok." She asked and Dean just kept nodding. "Zombies? Ghouls? Phantoms? No? Ok... Dracula? No, wait he would be a vampire too, so...ok... Frankenstein?"

"Yeah, but not like you'd think." Dean replied remembering the Steins and what he did to all of them. Slight fear and anguish flashed over his face when he remembered what he was like back then. What the Mark did to him.

Sarah hadn't noticed it, running villains through her mind and trying to figure out what else might be out there. " What about Shark man? Or headless horseman?" She asked and felt some warmth seeing Dean's slight smile.

"This isn't the Scooby-Doo, ya know." Dean tried to joke, to relax her a bit more and it seemed to have worked. Her lips might not have curled into a smile, but her eyes certianly sparkled with amusement.

"OK, what about Big-Foot?" she asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Total hoaks." Dean responded.

"Mummies?" Finally a hint of a smile on her face.

"Dead dudes wrapped in toilet paper." Dean replied and Sarah finally smiled.

"Aliens?" She kept playing, a part of her setting aside the truth she just learned.

"That is actually a conspiracy made by lepricons and fairies and other woodland creatures." Dean said with a neutral serious expression and Sarah's smile dropped.

"Really?" She asked, trying to find a hint of joke, a clue that he was just messing with her. But Dean just nodded.

"OK... - she decided to let that go – what about... Demons?" Sarah recoiled seeing the look in Dean's eyes. Dean felt a sting at being reminded of the things they wanted to leave behind, leave in the past, and not just when it came to demons and he darted the floor a bit angrily, clenching his fists.

"Sore subject?" Sarah asked gently and Dean brought his eyes back on her and something in him cracked. There was just something about her that had a soothing influence on him. The worried look in her eyes made him want to calm down instantly and wipe that worry from her eyes. Dean pulled a chair, sat in front of her and sighed.

"Demons and angels... And the Devil and even God. They are all real." He could see her slight gasp at that, but Dean pressed on, needing to explain and to ease her mind. "But they are nothing to worry about. Demons are locked in Hell, and the Devil is dead. What is left of the angels, they are mostly in Heaven..."

"And God?" Sarah dared.

Dean remained silent.

After a few moments, when it became clear Dean won't answer the question and not only that, it became clear it was a very touchy subject for him, she decided to divert his attention. Glancing around, Sarah spotted the pie and took the knife in her hand. She saw him flinch to that motion and a thought crossed her mind not to take things like that for granted. Never pull a knife out around hunters, check.

"How about some pie?" She asked with a smile, wishing it could bright up his own expression just for a moment. He shook his head like in disbelief, and his lip curled into a half smile at her question. The clouds in his eyes seemed to have cleared as he looked in her eyes and then at the pie. He huffed a smile at the slight irony of the situation, or more like at the coincidence, and brought his gaze back upon her.

"You made that?" He asked raising an eyebrow and when she nodded in reply, he added. "Then I would love to try it." He felt his heart skip a beat at her bright smile that reached her eyes, but he quickly brought his gaze away from her. Sarah cut a piece and after setting it on a plate, she reached and handed it to him along with a small fork.

Dean took the plate and looked at the piece, some strange expression on his face Sarah just couldn't decipher. She watched him take a bite size on his fork and slowly lifting it to his mouth. There was definitely something odd about his motions. He wouldn't think it was poisoned, would he? She would never do that, never.

It was weird. Dean was scared. Well, not really scared, Dean doesn't get scared. But something close. The pie looked good, it looked great. And she made it, all by herself. She can make pies. Ok, why was that important all of a sudden? Why was he worried to taste it, why was he scared it wouldn't taste right? Why was he having these weird thoughts in his head? Like it really mattered what her pie tasted like.

Dean smiled at Sarah and took the bite. His eyes suddenly grew wide as the delight of a wonderful creamy vanilla filled his mouth and challenged his pellet, while the slight sourly flavor of cherry tinkled his tongue making him let out a small moan. Sarah watched with a raised eyebrow as Dean's facial expression turned from an uncertain one,to shock to full bliss.

Finally deciding the best thing to do was to ignore his over-enjoyment of her pie, Sarah decided to ask. "Have you... Have you met a lot of psychics?" Dean looked at her and saw curiosity in her eyes, but also a certain shyness, the type someone would find in a person who felt out of place.

"A few." was the short answer Dean gave, and it was like he remembered a few that played a part in his life, his expression turned sad for only a second before he went for another piece of pie, looking down at the plate in his hand.

Silence fell over them both for a few minutes, both lost a bit in their thoughts, before Dean huffed a smile and took another bite of the pie. He looked at her with some sense of pride in his eyes, maybe even a bit of curiosity as he said "You seemed to be taking all this well."

Sarah shook her head. "No, no I'm not. Internally, I am freaking out. But..." Sarah trailed off, biting her lip a bit, and darting the ground as if she was ashamed. Raising her line of sight just a bit, she glanced at Dean and seeing the look that was urging her to talk, to share, she huffed.

"Ok, you might think this is weird. I am freaking out a bit, but at the same time I am... Sorta... Glad? I... I don't know how to describe the feeling... I..." she tried and mid sentence she sighed. Bringing her gaze upon him again, upon his mesmerizing green eyes she closed her eyes and tried to explain better.

"I... I was always the freak. I was always the odd one everyone always laughed at or ignored or... I was always different then everyone else, and they would all always give me those looks, like they were waiting for me to erupt or something. Even the man that adopted me."

Sarah talked and Dean left the plate on the table, his complete focus on her as she pressed on "DocZ is a good guy, he really is, he took me in when no one, not even the orphanage wanted me. He gave me a shelter and food, but he was always away because of his work. Sometimes I would catch him staring at me, almost the same way the others would. Like he is wary of me." Dean felt a strong urge to set a comforting hand on hers, or anything else to let her know he sympathized, but he just felt weird to do that. So he chose not to move, instead to listen to her.

"Only Uncle Dom never looked at me like that. He was the only one that saw me. Just me and not some weirdo that can do stuff or see stuff, or... I guess I am relieved. - Sarah finally came to a conclusion – Yeah. I am a bit relieved to know there are others like me out there. That I am not the only freak in the world." She said nodding to herself and brought her gaze back on Dean.

"I have definitely seen freakier things then you." Dean said and as soon as he did, he wished he hadn't. What kind of a stupid statement was that? He should have said she is not a freak at all, not blab out the first thing that came to mind. And even though he didn't blush, because he is Dean Winchester and he never blushes, she seemed to have pick up on his feeling of slight embarrassment and raised a questioning eyebrow at him before she started laughing.

"Ok, all right. How about we focus on finding your brother. You said I saw him?" Sarah averted the subject yet again and Dean was glad. When he first spilled the beans, he mentally cursed at himself, mostly because he revealed a dangerous world to what they called a civilian. But also, a bit because it would delay him in finding Sam. He was glad she took it well, and that she wanted to help, even if he didn't know exactly why.

"Yeah, you saw him when you left the grocery store. He was leaning on my car, the black impala. I saw you on a camera footage from the video store across the street." Dean said eagerly, and watched her consider all this information, trying to remember.

After a few moments, Sarah furrowed her brows in a guilty manor and shook her head. "I'm sorry, I... I can't remember. Mostly I just keep my head down and avoid eye contact." Dean couldn't blame her, he could expect her to remember some little detail after being confronted with the ugly truth of what was there.

Still, Sarah remained hopeful "Maybe if I saw a picture of him, or... Oh, I know. The camera surveillance, if I saw that, maybe..." She trailed off, looking a bit confused and bringing her uncertain look upon Dean. "Ethan. He would never just let you see the footage..."

Dean hung his head low and rubbed the back of his neck, pulling on a _Busted!_ Look. "Yeah, well... Sometimes in this line of work, you, um... Have to lie and pretend..." he said pulling out his fake FBI badge, and he was a bit surprised when she just nodded and moved on. Seems like hearing he was posing as an FBI agent was nothing compared to the things she heard today.

"Ok, anyway. - Dean continued – I have the footage here, the guy made me a copy." Dean pulled a thumb drive and showed it to Sarah. He was about to say something when she interrupted.

"Oh, crap. I don't have anything we can watch it on. My laptop broke a few days ago..." she said with a pinch of anger in her voice and Dean just pocketed it again as he replied.

"It's ok, I got one back in my motel room."

Sarah raised an amused eyebrow "In your motel room?"

"Yeah, me and Sam... Whoa, wait. I... I didn't mean it like that. I... I meant I could go there and get it." Dean defended with his hands held high in the air, but got lost for a minute when Sarah started laughing. He soon snapped out of it and huffed an amused laugh.

"Do you... Um... Can you do that thing where you can get a read out of an object or...?" Dean had a though and pulled out Sam's busted phone.

As Sarah took it, she signed, looking at it for a second and then back at Dean. "I... I can sometimes, on rare occasions. I... I think that the object must bare some specific importance for this to work, cuz I normally get bupkis. Which is pretty much what I am getting now." She said with some sorrow to her voice and an apologetic look as she returned the phone.

"Maybe... maybe I should go back to your motel room – Sarah started and upon seeing the look on Dean's face, she hit him on the shoulder with an open hand – not like that! Seriously? Is that all you think about?" She asked smiling.

"Hey, you started it!" Dean defended with a bright smile of his own and fake gasped as she stuck her tongue at him.

"What I meant was... - and her tone became a bit more serious – maybe I can get a read on something else, something in his stuff. It would be easier if we just went there, instead of you trying to find something that might or might not spark on my radar."

Dean's face drew in seriousness as well, but he still had that smile on his face and he nodded, agreeing to her idea.

And as they walked out of her house, Sarah turned a looked to her far left, as if she was sensing someone there. Shrugging it off for now, she turned her gaze at Dean's questioning expression and said "It's nothing."

But that nothing was there, staring after the two as they walked away and letting out a silent growl.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there aren't many of you who like Adam, the long lost brother, and I know some of you would prefer Michael Dean to happen again instead of a possibility of having Michael Adam in the show. Still, I have found an amazing fic that follows these two as the cage opens and speculates what might happen after that. The author has a great sense in depicting Michael and Adam as one being.
> 
> The story is called Soulmate and the author is Lucigoosey The Lightbringer - captions as written, It is posted on fanfiction site. It is an awesome story that depicts Michael's and Adam's connection and their codependance. Oh, and did I mention Adam is a demon? Yeah, Hell does that to you. Give it a try.


	6. The Hive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so so angry when I saw 15x03, the Rupture, for many reasons, but also I was inspired. Inspired to fix it. So I wrote a fix-it one-shot story. For those of you who don't know. It is called Hell's Bells. Be warned, it contains spoilers up to and including 15x03.

Juls stumbled backwards, her eyes still glued to the sign and she bumped into Sam who caught her and steadied her, clamping her shoulders with his hands. She flinched, but turned to him slightly and nodded, bringing her focus back on the empty hallway and forcing herself to calm down.

Only sounds coming towards them were sounds of the machinery, ventilation and heating, nothing beyond that. If it was true, if they were really on a research station, then it must have been abandoned. But who would bring them here? And why?

Juls looked to her left and saw two doors at that end of the hallway, while on the other side the hallway took a turn to the left. Exchanging looks and slight head motions, Juls turned to the left, and with Sam having her back, she pushed open the first one as quietly as she could. As soon as the door opened the neon lights flickered on as if they were set like that. Blue tiles came into view first and once Juls completely opened the door, she could see it was a large bathroom.

It was bare. Two toilet booths Sinks with mirrors and a bathtub installed into a wall, and separately two shower booths, but aside from the essentials like a few towels and soap, it contained absolutely nothing else. No medicine cabinet, no cleaning chemicals, not even toilet paper.

In just few seconds both of them inspected the room, darting all over the place and seeing only one thing that seemed out of plate. A digital clock mounted high on the wall, the exact same they had in the bedroom. And this one too said the same time – 07:14.

Moving on to the door across the bathroom, it was nothing but an almost empty closet. There was only a broom, a mop and some borax cleaning products. Basically, a dead end. Juls was about to move on, when she spotted something in the corner and she reached inside for a closer look.

"Just some extra blankets, that it." She whispered coming out and motioned her head towards the other side of the hallway, glancing over at Sam. He nodded and had to run his hand through hair as a few strings flew loose from the nod. Juls huffed a mocking smile and offered him an extra scrunchie she had. He frowned and shook his head, making more loose stings fly about, and she rolled her eyes at him before she pushed forward.

Turning a corner, there were huge doors to the left with a sign 'Mess hall' and Juls lips widened into a grin but Sam tugged at her hand, pointing forward. There it was. A big metal door with the sign 'EXIT' right above it. Sam and Juls exchanged looks, both wondering if it could really be that easy, both knowing they should proceed with caution. In front of them was the door, but the hallway curled left again and who knew what was there.

Sam glanced at a red box mounted on the wall, the kind that held certain supplies in case of a fire. His lips broke into a short lasting grin as he saw it didn't contain a fire extinguisher, but an axe. He reached a broke the fire alarm wire that was connected to the box and opened it. He didn't want to trip the alarm in case anyone was there to hear it. That and he didn't need something blaring in his ears, not next to the small headache he was developing.

Juls nodded in approval when she saw Sam pulling out the axe, but was surprised when he offered it to her. She blinked at him for a second, uncertain why he would trust her _that_ much, but she quickly turned it around, fake gasping, her hand on her chests and accepting the axe as if Sam was giving her flowers. The "Thank you." was honest though.

She motioned him to stay behind, to keep a look out if something tries to come behind them and she pushed forward. Around the corner the hallway continued into two separate corridors, a bunch of rooms scattered around and another digital clock. But they could get to it because there was a barrier of plexiglass, a security door that required a magnetic key card to open. "EXIT' doors it is.

"You noticed any windows in this place?" Juls asked out of the blue, stopping right in front of the door, eyeing it carefully, gripping the axe.

"No. – Sam responded – But if we really are in the North Pole, there wouldn't be any unnecessary windows, because of heat preservation. They would also be covered in show, so what would be the point?" Sam explained and Juls glanced at him before bringing her gaze back on the door.

"So, you're willing to bet there is just a bunch of show out there?" Juls carefully asked and then when she heard Sam sigh she added "If we really are in the North Pole and all there is is snow out there, I am not sure I want to open these doors." There was a masked fear in her voice Sam could pick up without even knowing why it was so. For some reason, there was something very familiar about some of her motions, some of her looks. Like he has known her for a while. Like he has been around her long enough to know she dreaded facing what is behind those doors, but also enough to know she will open them.

As she did. Juls opened them and stared at the darkness of the polar night. It wasn't complete darkness as it was all cover in show, white snow, everywhere you'd look – snow. Snow, snow and just snow.

"Goddamit!" Sam flinched when Juls yelled, slamming the door shut. He didn't flinch because she yelled, not did he flinch because she slammed the door. No, Sam flinched because somewhere deep in his mind, a small bit expected to hear a different phrase, a different set of curse words, a a different voice. Sam flinched because for the past few minutes, it didn't feel like there was a stranger with him, no, it seem like his brother was there all along.

He didn't know if it was just some illusion, his head still hurts a bit, or was it the fact that she was just a good hunter and they clicked on a certain level, but this whole exploration, they haven't said a word to each other, simply moved like they were perfectly in synced.

Like right now for instance. He knew she would get angry and he knew she would act accordingly. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Sam said grabbing Julia's arms, stopping her from slamming the axe against bullet proof glass that separated them from the rest of the facility. He stopped her, but made no attempt to take the axe away from her, knowing it would be a bad move. "That won't work. This is reinforced bullet proof glass. See this... - Sam said pointing at a biohazard sign - Means they were dealing with potentially dangerous substances and..." He tried to explain to calm her down while she darted blades his way, but once he started to explain the sign she rolled her eyes.

"I know what that is. I know what I means. - Juls said angrily, but after that she seemed defeated a bit - I just... " She trailed off, closing her eyes heavily, bringing the axe down to the ground, but still holding on to the handle. "I just want out of here." Sam felt pinch in his chest to the sadness in her voice and he felt a strong urge to pull her into a comforting hug.

Fighting the urge, deciding better on a comforting word, he took a small step toward her and said "We will. We'll find a way." He could see her raising her head to him slowly, her brows furrowing in slight anger wrapped with worry as she let out a small sigh and nodded. He could see her puling on a brave face, a mask of false humor she hid behind.

"If we don't end up infected with the T-virus." Juls said jokingly, and rolled her eyes when she saw Sam frowning in confusion. So she pointed at the biohazard sign on the door and said "Resident evil, zombie apocalypse? Ring any bells?" Sam raised a questioning brow at her, and she just waved him off, her motions telling him to forget she ever said anything.

But then she walked back to the door labeled "Mess Hall", looked up at the sign and added " I hope this was where they served food and not held Cerberuses or Lickers in cold storage.*" She smiled seeing a baffled expression on Sam's face, and just shook her head. She motioned him with her hand, showing him she will enter and he came closer, to follow her and be on alert just in case.

The "Mess Hall" was just that, a dining area with two tables and seven chairs, a small kitchen separated by counters. They've cleared it first and then Juls went straight for the cabinets. When Sam shot her a quizzical look, she just said "Well? What are you waiting for? See if this place has any food, I am starving." All she managed to find so far were pots and pans, plates and bowls, so she gestured Sam to look in the lower counters on the right side of the kitchen.

Sam opened one of the lower counters, and bending over he rummaged through some boxes that were inside. Not finding a thing, he lifted his gaze upon Julia, and blinked in surprise when he saw her checking him out. She recoiled immediately, but it still made Sam blush redder then the early dawn. Maybe it was because it was unexpected, this was hardly the time and the place, or was it because it was so direct, so up front, Sam didn't know.

Sure, women have openly come on to him, but he never liked those types of women, especially because most of them were older and just looking for a piece of meat. But there was just something about Julia, something he just couldn't explain. She brought her gaze upon him and quirked an eyebrow seeing him staring and he quickly looked away, embarrassed once again.

"Anyone ever tell you, you're cute when you blush? - Juls asked amusingly, but quickly changed the subject - You find any food?"

"Um... No... Nothing yet." Sam replied, trying to busy his hands with something, to try and forget the moment ever happened. He opened another counter and smiled. "Found it!" He shouted and stepped back, allowing Julia to come and have a look.

"Great. Beans and pears in cans." Julia huffed with sarcastic enthusiasm looking over the cans that also contained soup , other conserved fruit and vegetable meals.

"At least you won't starve." Sam said with honesty, but it came out more like a tease that had Julia sending him a glare, making him dart the ground in slight shame.

"Ahhh, much better." Julia said after opening a freezer door and finding it filled with ice-cream.

"Ice cream?" Sam questioned going over to have a look. He picked up a box only to have it snatched away from him by Julia, frowning at him.

"Get your own. " she said and then breaking into a small laugh, she handed the box back to him. Sam just spared her a look before he looked over the box, noticing that is hasn't expired yet. In fact, it wouldn't expire for two more years. He noticed Julia looking curiously at him and he moved the box to her, showing her the date. She seemed to understand what he was thinking.

The ice-cream was a recent addition. That could mean that either the station was still in use or that whoever had them there, made sure that, for whatever reason, they were stocked with ice cream. Something was definitely off about this whole thing.

Julia suggested they eat while they still could and then try and find a way to break into the rest of the facility to see if there was something useful there. They sat at one table, opposite each other and ate in silence, despite the little jokes, both felt something heavy in their chest. There was something a bit depressing about this place or was it the dream both of them had, neither knew.

They both finished and Sam glanced at the clock on the wall that said it was 8:26 am. Still sitting there, still staring at the remains of their meal, neither moved a muscle to stand up and proceed with the plan they had. Sam glanced at her for a second, looking her over. Julia was definitely a hunter who has been through a few battles, small scars scattered as far as he could see. Even though she seemed tired at that moment, there was something young, something strong emitting form her.

"You've been doing this long?" Sam asked out of the blue. He knew how most people became hunters, so that was not something you ask, not your business to open someone's old wounds, but this question had a similar connotation without being too intrusive. It showed the person was ready to listen as much as the hunter was willing to tell.

"Basically since I could hold a gun." Julia replied with a slight smile and then signed. "I know... I know about you and your brother, your father and your mother, how she... – Julia started, never quite finishing the thought, choosing to skip and just move to the point – I know a few things about you, so I guess it is only fair you know a few about me..."

Swallowing hard Julia spoke with a flat tone and a blank expression " I was three when my father killed my mother." Sam's face flashed a small shock, but he said nothing, letting her continue.

"He was possessed by a ghost, my mother's sisters ghost to be exact. She always thought my mother stole my father from her and... Well, you know how vengeful spirits work. Anyways, a hunter was... at the right place, at the right time. Heard the commotion and ran in. Saved me and my dad, but my mother... He opened my dad's eyes to the world of supernatural and since then, he and I have been hunting. Mostly ghosts, vampires, werewolves... We try to stay away from the angels and demons."

Sam hadn't questioned the last statement, still, Julia felt compelled to explain. "Dad always said they are way out of our league..." There was something in her voice, the way it started to crack, but she masterfully masked it, might have gone unnoticed if Sam wasn't such a good listener. There was a certain spark of comfort in his eyes, and something else too, Julia couldn't quite explain it, but it was making her open up faster than she ever did.

"I... I called you Jake..." Julia said, her voice nothing but a whisper. Sam silently gasped at the distant look she had in her eyes, at the guilt written on her face, at her shaky breath. She still huffed an ironic smile, trying to lighten the mood, to pull back the mask of bravery, but he could see right through it, and Julia seemed to know it too.

"Dad said, stay away from demons... Too bad the demons didn't get the memo."

Julia closed her eyes for a moment, trying damn hard to compose herself and by instinct, Sam set his hand on hers in an attempt of a comfort. She recoiled, not expecting the sudden touch, and Sam retreated. Juls ran her other hand over the one Sam touched, wishing upon contact of comfort once again, but instead she swallowed hard and blurted it all out as fast as she could, not wanting to pause and let herself feel it sink in.

" A demon possessed him and tortured me for four days before my dad saved me. Just before the demon left Jake's body, it plunged the blade into Jake's chest, straight into his heart and twisted the knife." Julia took a deep breath, clenching her fists, not letting her eyes tear up.

Sam allowed her a few moments to compose herself. He knew how hard it is to talk about it, to talk about losing a loved one like that. After full fifteen minutes of just sitting there in silence, Julia finally brought her gaze upon Sam, expecting sympathy, not empathy.

"Her name was Jess..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Cerberus (Rottweiler zombie dog) and Licker (creature with a long narrow tongue) are monsters from The Resident Evil Game. In the Resident Evil Movie, the facility called the Hive had a "Mess Hall" as well, and just like Juls suggested, nobody really ate there.


	7. Thin line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, this chapter had so many hints and clues, my head is spinning. Took me a while to write if because I was swamped with work, but also because I had things I wanted to put in this chapter, things I wanted to hint and things that I think are too soon to be revealed, had to balance it out. So, sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy it.

"Is that a 307-cubic-inch V-8, 275 horsepower, 67 Chevy Impala?!" Sarah asked with slight excitement in her eyes, and a small grin while her hand traced over the trunk door and up the rear pillar. Her house was just a block away from the grocery store, so Dean didn't bother moving his car from the parking lot next to the store.

"Well it is actually a 325-horsepower 396-cubic-inch V-8, but I am impressed either way." Dean replied with a raised eyebrow, clearly surprised.

"I remember her... It is a she, right?" Sarah asked interrupting herself, barely managing to peel her eyes of the car.

"Yeah, it is a she. Baby. You... You remember?" There was a small spark of pride in his eyes before it was replaced with anticipating curiosity. Sarah was remembering something that might be important, she could have seen him. Sure, it was the car that sparked her interest, but still, there could be a detail, a small clue, anything that can help Dean find out what happened to Sam.

"I remember seeing the car, I thought she was a real beauty. I vaguely remember seeing a guy, but light was in my eyes, I... I remember the light and..." Sarah trailed off again, eyebrows burrowing in deep concentration, and she reached her hand to her head, tracing her fingers over her temple, clearly giving herself a headache.

"It's ok, take it easy..." Dean tried as he reached out with his right hand to her left shoulder, seeing her extorting herself. But as soon as he made contact, she winced, a strange sort of fear and anxiety flashing upon her eyes. Her hand went to grab her shoulder as if he had hit her, rubbing circles to try and flex the muscles.

"Sorry. That... That was weird." Sarah said, still frowning at Dean and he just pulled back, and looked away towards his car. He shouldn't have done that. After all these years he still didn't know exactly how psychics worked, but he knew better then to try and make contact while they were focusing.

"Does... Does your brother have a hurt shoulder? Or maybe he was hurt before..." Sarah said and Dean shook his head.

"No, not that I..." He started and stopped, remembering the events of over a year ago, and he corrected himself. "Actually, yeah... Gun shot wound." He simply said, not wanting to go into detail.

Sarah's brows raised, he could tell she was a bit uncomfortable with the fact that it involved guns and shooting, but she nodded anyway, finally giving her own shoulder a rest. "I don't know... It is weird, I have never made a connection like that, not with a wound."

"Can you... sense anything else?" Dean asked hopefully, beaming up at her, but her eyes were on the ground, a deep frown on her face. She seemed distracted when she answered with a bleak apology, saying she can't feel anything else. And then suddenly, her eyes snapped up and she started darting their surroundings, her hands coming up to hug herself.

Dean, seeing her sudden awareness, became instantly alerted and started looking around, scanning anyone who might pose a threat. There was a woman with a child coming out of the store, the kid sticking her tongue out at the hunter. There was a guy dressed like a rocker, sipping a beer, leaning against a wall of the grocery store, in the shades. There was a fat man, turned slightly away from them, but clearly eating an ice-cream. And then, Dean's eyes landed on the video-store, seeing Ethan staring at them.

Realizing he has been caught looking, Ethan quickly turned and hid behind a shelf, still peaking at them, and Dean just rolled his eyes. Even Sarah seemed to have relaxed again, glancing over to the video-store and then bringing her gaze to the ground. Dean shook his head, she was clearly withdrawing upon realization that he was spying on them, feeling uncomfortable. He felt like punching the guy, but decide against it, not really wanting to leave Sarah alone. So instead, he pulled open the passenger door for her and she nodded before she entered.

Dean got in, started the car and was just about to put it reverse when his cassette player started whining at him. He snapped his eyes at it and quickly pressed the eject button, but it was too late. His favourite Metallica tape was ruined. He scoffed and pulled the cassette with the loose tape out of the player, turning the radio on, listening to some dance-pop song starting. It seemed familiar, but right now he was focused on the tape.

„Let me." Sarah said, wanting to help and try and fix the tape while Dean could drive; and she reached for the tape, brushing her hand against Dean's. She gasped at the touch and he jolted, his eyes locking with hers, and both felt something strange, an odd feeling washing over them. But she quickly blinked and looked away, slightly blushing. She fumbled with the tape, using a pen to reel it in, and he watched her for a second before he started pulling out of the lot.

"There." she said after a few minutes, and he glanced at the extended cassette, seeing it completely fixed. But this moment of distraction caused Dean to not see the small pothole, and he ran over it, the wheel falling in and making the car jump. In that instant, three things happened. Sarah dropped the tape and as she reached after it, her hand brushed Dean's once more, making them bold jolt and glance after each other. The radio went berserk and the volume suddenly went up, Billy Ocean shouting _"Get out of my dreams, and into my car…"_

Sarah smiled shyly, and Dean turned the volume down, clearing his throat. A few minutes of awkward silence passed, Sarah sparing Dean a few hidden glances. Neither knew what to say, both trying to come up with anything, coming up dry.

"So..." they both said at the same time, and both smiled at their own feeling of the awkwardness, acting like a teenagers and not adults. They exchanged glances, both mentally agreeing to put a stop to that. Nothing about this was really normal, and all they could do is be open with one another, at least.

"So, how does one become a hunter?" Sarah asked innocently, not knowing they all come to it about the same way, through pain and loss, and she suddenly frowned, feeling a bit of that pain and loss. She could sometimes get a read on people's emotions, but not like this, it was never like this. She remained quiet and seemed to shrink deeper into the seat, feeling sorry she asked.

Dean on the other hand, hadn't noticed her behavior, too consumed in remembering the night that change it all, the night his mother died, for the first time. And then he remembered loosing her for the second time and it all just kept piling up and up and... He finally made himself stop thinking about it all, shoving the memories and the pain deep down and he glanced at Sarah just in time for her to turn away towards the window.

"Long story. Never a pretty one with any hunter." Dean simply replied and heard her mutter a silent sorry, her voice a bit distorted. "What about you? When..." he tried to change the subject but she interrupted him.

"Long story. Not a pretty one either." she whispered, a bit less on emotions like the ones she felt from Dean. It wasn't spite that made her say it, she wasn't pouting that he wouldn't share, so in return she wouldn't either. No, it was more like she didn't want to share her sad story and weight down on him even more.

"I'm sorry." he offered, glancing her way once again before focusing on the road again. The awkward silence returned, but luckily it didn't last long, a few minutes later they pulled up to the motel room.

Dean lead them inside, opening the door and dropping his and Sam's duffelbags he got from the trunk onto the floor. Once inside, he closed the door and offered her a seat at the table, going over to the fridge. "Um... Beer or water?" he offered with a slight smile and gave her the water she requested. He looked around the room, mentally giving himself an eye roll at the feeling of being embarrassed that their beds weren't made. Like it really mattered.

"Right. I'm just gonna pop in for a quick shower, I am still covered in... Yeah. Will be back in a few, feel free to look around and see if you can get a feel out of something." Dean said grabbing some clothes from another duffel and rolling it around, trying to hide the boxers with red hearts he pulled out, hoping she hadn't seen them. She nodded, not really paying attention to him, instead, her eyes darted everywhere, scanning the room, getting a feel of it. Dean nodded too, more to himself before he got into the bathroom and locked himself inside.

Leaning first his hand on the door, then his head too, he let out a heavy sigh. There were millions of emotions swimming inside of him and as much as he tried, he could get a hold of them all. There was something, something strange he felt towards Sarah, close to caring, but he didn't understand. Why now, how could it happen so soon, he only just met her. Was it that, or was it something else? Was he bewitched once again? He closed his eyes, willing the thought away. But pushing that feeling aside, other feelings rose, and suddenly he felt a pinch in his chest. Sam. Sammy was gone, he was who knows where and Dean had a few options now, a few paths to follow, but he found himself not having the straight for it, and that realization made him want to smash his head through a wall. And then there was Mary. A small reminder of her send him spiraling, and all he wanted to do was curl up on the floor and remain there.

"Dean, you all right?" he jolted at Sarah's voice from the other side of the door and forced all his thoughts and emotions down in an instant.

"Yeah. Be there in a minute." Dean replied and went to the shower, getting in as fast as he could, and turned the water before switching the steam to the shower. Lingering for just a bit under it, letting the feel of the running water on his skin wash away the stench of the hunt along with his insecurities, he closed his eyes and breathed in and out, calming himself down. Then he quickly shampooed himself and washed off, getting out of the shower, and drying himself with a towel. AS fast as he could, he got dress and throwing a towel over his head, he went for the knob and stopped. He took another deep breath, closing his eyes shut for just a second and then finally swung the door open.

Seeming casual, he wiped his hair into the towel, and look around for Sarah. The room seemed a bit more tidier, their beds made and their duffels on the table. The empty beer bottles where no where to be seen, probably in the trash, along with the Chinese leftovers and empty cartons.

But when he looked at Sarah, who was now sitting on Sam's bed, holding Sam's, or rather Ruby's knife, twirling it around, examining it with curiosity, he frowned, curious himself and uncertain. He was just about to ask her what she was doing with it, considering that it might have even sparked a connection with Sam, but before he could say anything she spoke, not looking away from the knife "He is lonely. He has you by his side all the time, yet he is lonely...".

Finally, she tore her gaze of the weapon to look at the hunter, a strange, almost dreamy like expression on her face as she continued. "When... When you gave me his phone... I looked over at the contacts and the messages and the call list, just to see if something would spark. I noticed he doesn't have a lot of incoming calls or messages, aside from you. And then... Then there is this..." She refocused on the knife, looking it over, moving it so that the sunlight would shine upon it in a certain way. She seemed mesmerized by it, her lips tugging into a small smile as played with it.

"...This was given to him as a gift. A Trojan horse, if you will... But the connection it help establish... It was wrong, but it was right?" Suddenly her eyes snapped back at Dean, who watched her with a certain stiffness and her expression changed to a surprised one. "I... I... I'm sorry... I... I don't know what came over me..." She looked down at the knife and immediately set it down to the bed. "I... I never..." She looked a bit distressed, so Dean came closer and took the knife, sparing her a comforting glance, but she could feel his discomfort and she hug her head low. Why does it always happen. Always something like this to freak out the person she was just trying to help, to make a connection to. Every time.

"Demon killing knife. - Dean just said and she looked up, clearly not expecting him to elaborate on the weapon – It was given to us... To Sam by a demon. - he huffed a laugh before he continued – and yeah, it made us think, made him think she was on our side. But, I... I wasn't there at the time,and when I did return, she... She sunk her claws in him pretty deep."

Sarah could feel this was weighing him down, but she could also tell it was just a small piece of burden he had to carry. The scariest part, though...

"I... I feel somehow drawn to it." She said with a dose of uncertainty, she didn't understand what it meant. Dean gave her a curious look, and weight whether or not to go into that story. But when she said "Can you please put it away? It is making me nervous.", Dean complied, a part of him glad he didn't have to go into that part of their past. In a way, that knife played a part in the events that allowed for Lucifer's first release from the cage, and the moment he realized exactly why the angels were watching over him.

"Did you find anything else interesting?" He asked, putting the weapon in his bag. He turned back to Sarah only to find her glancing around the room, her expression blank.

"Nothing so far. Sorry." She replied, bringing her gaze upon him, and their eyes met, only for a moment before both looked away awkwardly. Dean's eyes set on Sam's laptop bag and he picked it up, going to his jacket and taking the thumb drive out of it. He walked over to her and stopped short, feeling uncertain if he should sit beside her. But she smiled up at him and suddenly all the tension he had was gone, so he did sit beside her on Sam's bed, opened the laptop and sticking in the thumb drive, he played the video.

"So that's him?" Sarah asked pointing at the guy leaning on Dean's car. When Dean nodded, she kept talking. "Yeah, I remember seeing someone, but the face is lost to me... There, that's me... Oh, he looked up at me. Ok, so he looked away then, and... Wha... What happened? How... How did he just... He just disappeared?" She turned to look at Dean, slight shock written on her face, but once she laid her eyes on the hunter, his expression not just an unsurprising one, but rather blank too, she knew people disappearing into thin air wasn't all that uncommon for him.

"Play it again." She said and watched that section of the video again, focusing on Sam and his aura, and she could clearly see, he just vanished. Nothing on the video suggested that he was taken by something, there wasn't a sudden change in lightning or a hick-up in the video feed.

"Play it again." She said and watched his immediate surroundings. She could see Dean walking into the store, she could see a child playing in the park way back. She could see some teenagers passing by in the distance, going past a fat guy eating an ice cream and she could see a woman exiting the store.

"Did you see that?" She asked and pointed at the black bike that was in the right side of the video feed.

"What?" Dean asked, his interest sparked.

"That? That woman? Play it again." Dean did as instructed and watched where Sarah pointed. The woman, the same woman he battled for the pie was in the video, she was right at that black bike that caught his eye. Must have been hers. Dean could see her putting away the things she bought in the case of the bike and then glancing over at Sam. He took a breath, she was looking at him, maybe...

And then, suddenly the bus went by, the bus that obscured just how Sam had disappeared, the same bus took away the woman too. Just like Sam, one second she was there, the other gone.

"Son of a..." Dean started, cutting himself short as he felt Sarah jolt at his sudden outburst. He glanced at her, but quickly brought his gaze upon the laptop once again. Replaying the video a few more times, he could clearly see Sam glancing her direction too before both he and the brunette vanished.

"Maybe... I need to take a look at that bike." Dean said as he jumped off the bed, setting the laptop aside and going for his jacket. But then he abruptly stopped. No, he didn't need just to take a look at the bike, he needed to take it somewhere safe and go through the content of it's trunk cases. He distinctively remembers seeing wardings on it, and if he was right, those cases could contain things not meant for the public eye.

"Can I... Is there... I need..." He tried as he turned back to Sarah, wanting to say a lot, ending up mixing all the thoughts up in his head. He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down, and then he tried again. "I need to take a look at that bike, but I need to take it somewhere private, away from the public eye. It's trunk cases might contain... certain things and I need to focus on when I get to them." Dean explained as shortly as possible, not wanting to scare her with details of the things that could possibly be inside. Sarah seemed to consider that for a moment, and the she looked up at him with a spark of an idea in her eyes.

"A friend's friend owns a chop-shop half way from here to the store. He could pick it up and take it to his workshop." Sarah said, and then bit her lip. She knew Pablo would do it if she asked, no matter how wary of her he is. She knew it would make her uncomfortable, but she promised to help, so... "Let me call him."

"Hola, Pablo. Como estas? Yo necesito tu ayuda..." she started and that was pretty much all Dean understood, except for the "Gracias." in the end. She brought her nervous look upon the hunter again and bit down on her lip once more. "He says he will pick up the bike, but he has to wait for the nightfall. He is practically stealing it, and he said he will do it, but under his terms. He doesn't want trouble with the police."

If it was up to Dean, he would have just went and flashed his badge and took the bike. But he needed the peace and quiet of a garage, so he knew he had to agree to that. HE let out a heavy breath, looking defeated as he nodded and Sarah quickly shot a text to Pablo before looking back up at Dean with a small smile.

"Ok, we got... - she glanced at the phone again – we got 6 hours to kill. What do you wanna do?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend Blondie20000 is writing a story called Black, following the events after 14x17, when Jack yells at Mary to leave him alone. Obviously, he doesn't kill her... So,AU of Game Night. It is pretty awesome, go check it out.
> 
> Also, I wrote a cute little Halloween story called Trick or Treat, if anyone is interested.


	8. Lost without you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone notice the Borax cleaning products and the ice cream in the previous Sam chapter? Not saying they are relevant...

„That... That is way worse then mine..." Juls said introducing just a small attempt of humor into the situation, but even she knew nothing could lighten the mood. „I'm sorry." She added sincerely and now it was her turn to set a comforting hand on Sam's. Unlike her, he didn't recoil to the touch, and she squeezed his hand before pulling back and getting up.

Sam didn't move. He looked at his hand, still feeling the ghost of her touch there and wishing her warm hand was still there. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily, letting himself feel it all, even for just a moment. He let himself remember everyone they ever lost, every death tearing a piece of his heart out. He got his mother back only to have her ripped out of his life again, and it wasn't true what they said. 'Better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all.' Yeah, whoever said that didn't know how devastating a supernatural death could be. How hard this whole life style could be.

He lost Jess, he lost dad, mom, Bobby. He lost Ellen and Jo, Pamela. He lost Kevin, he lost Sarah Blake, he lost Madison, he lost those hunters. He lost... God, he lost so much. The empty feeling in his chest grew larger for just a second making him nauseous, but he swallowed hard, swallowed it all down, buried it deep and took a deep breath. No, he needs to focus, he needs to move forward. It is hard, he doesn't really have a reason to go on anymore. He could just rest, he should rest.

Sam was startled by the sound of drawers being slammed and cutlery rattling and he snapped his eyes at its direction. Juls was rummaging through the drawers, getting more and more agitated clearly because she couldn't find whatever she was looking for. He raised his brow at her, curiosity in his eyes as he watched her huff and puff, clearly irritated. .

He observed her for a moment, she seemed so innocent, like most of the girls that went through his life. She is in this situation probably because of him, it had to be related, he felt it deep down. And she was right, she was probably right when she said she was going to die because of him, and suddenly, that empty feeling grew again, crashing its way though his chest. Sam gasped silently, unable to push it down so easily this time. He did not want her to die. He wouldn't be able to handle it if she did.

As he darted the ground, Sam thoughts wondered in the direction of questioning from where those feelings came from, but Juls slammed another drawer, making him flinch again and glance in her direction once more. She didn't deserve that, it wasn't her fault.

With his eyes glued to her, a certain warmth sparked deep down in the pit of his stomach as he realized. He wasn't going to let that happen to her. He wasn't going to let her die. He wasn't going to let anything happen to her. And somehow that emptiness in his chest grew just a bit lighter.

He didn't understand,he couldn't grasp what that meant for him. He couldn't understand that that decision, that determination gave him a reason. A reason to go on, to fight again. A reason to live.

"Not a single metal knife, fork or a spoon. Every damn thing is just plastic!" Juls scoffed, slamming shut another drawer, and he had to huff a small smile at her pouting.

"Why do you need that?" Sam asked gently, slowly getting up. He walked up to the counter, carrying the empty cans and the can opener. He wanted to toss the cans in the trash and wash off the can opener, at the same time see if there even was running water in this place.

But before he could even open the tap, Juls snatched the can opener away and started inspecting it, a slight grin on her face. "Perfect!" She exclaimed and glanced Sam's way eagerly. Her lips stretched into a wider grin and Sam couldn't help but notice how her eyes sparked up, and how he felt drawn to it.

He managed to distractedly throw the cans in the bin, opening his mouth, trying to ask Juls just what she meant to do with the can opener, but her eyes snapped back on the tool in her hand and she just walked away. A small wave of depression washed over Sam and he slowly closed his mouth, sighing in the process and followed her out of the kitchen.

He watched her turn towards the security door and look at the key lock. Again, he was about to speak up, to protest if she tried to jam the razor part of the old type can opener, and he was once again interrupted. "Yes, this will help open it… - Juls talked as she worked around the key lock – I gotta open it and cross the wires and cause a short circuit." There was once more that spark in her eyes and that wide smile as she managed to crank it open, dropping the tool in her pocket and fumbling with the smallest tiniest wires Sam had ever seen.

Luckily her small hands worked around to bare two wires and clasp them together, sending out small electrical sparks. And with a buzzing sound, the doors opened. Sam couldn't hold a small amused smile at her fisting the air upright in victory, mouthing a silent "yes!" And he couldn't help holding up that smile a bit longer as she looked up at him, with slight pride in her eyes. She seemed so childish right then, so goofy, it actually reminded Sam of his brother. Well, of the way his brother used to be. He doesn't get to see that Dean much anymore.

"Ok, let's see what else this place has…" Juls said picking up the ax she left by the 'Mess hall' doors. She looked up at her weapon and then up at the bare-handed hunter, and her smile dropped just a bit. Extending the ax to Sam she said "Here… I know those big strong hands of yours can fend without a weapon, but I still don't feel good letting you go in without something."

"No, I couldn't… I'm good…" Sam replied holding his hand up in a stopping motion, trying to prevent her from extending the ax any further. He did hear that slight tease in her voice when she mentioned his hands, but decided to ignore it.

"Such a gentleman… - Juls said with an amused smile – then, here… At least take this, it's sharp." She said handing him back the can opener. They both knew it wasn't much of a defense weapon, but he still took it, because it meant something else as well. It meant she was opening up just a bit, trusting him as well. It was silly, maybe, but it obviously held a meaning to her, so Sam nodded and took it.

Looking upfront, they could see a door on their right, and then a part of the hall separated after that and took a turn to the right. There was another branch of the hallway to the right again and opposite was just one door. By the looks of it, whatever was behind those doors on the left, backed behind the mess hall, and was right next to that closet. Slow and steady, they proceeded forward.

The door on the right was locked and labeled 'Office', so they skipped it for now. The first right turn had them facing a door to the left and to the right. The door on the left was unlabeled and locked, but the door to the right with a sign 'Laboratory' was wide open.

Stepping inside, they noticed a door-frame without a door that lead into that office, and Sam came inside, to check it out and to unlock the door from the other side, while Juls looked over the lab. Sam glanced over at the papers scattered on the desk, formulas and graphs, but there was nothing of interest to them. His eyes suddenly widened and he practically ran back to the lab when he heard Juls say "Uuu… What does this button do?" and found her leaning over an old mass spectrometer.

To his bewildered look, Juls only raised a curious brow before huffing a laugh. " What's the matter, Dexter?* Afraid I might push your buttons?" Sam immediately blushed, but Juls didn't know if it was because of what she said, or because he thought she actually might push a random button. Still, she didn't really care, she was clearly enjoying watching him smile nervously and look away shyly.

Sam cleared his throat and glanced over the lab once more before finally he looked at Juls and spoke "Let's keep going." They noted the things that were in the room that can prove to be useful, but let them sit there until they checked out the whole place. Sam did take a scalpel, just in case, and Juls nodded in approval before they moved on.

Backtracking, they returned to the main corridor, to their right being another branch of the hallway and to their left a room named 'Maintenance'. No matter how useful it would be to check that out, there was something more important on the far end of that last hallway. Another exit sign above a heavy metal door, these ones with a thick glass window on them, and nothing but white on the other side.

Juls froze when she saw the door, glaring and unmoving, and Sam had to walk around her, worried and confused of her reaction. "Hey… You ok?" He asked as softly as he could, but for a moment it seem like she was looking straight through him, back at that door.

"'m fine." Juls said snapping out of it, giving Sam a side glance before pushing past him to the door that was on the right, next to the exit. She turned the knob a bit more harshly and stumbled into the room carelessly, not bothering to check it with a dose of awareness, seeing it was marked 'Storage'. Sam didn't know, but seeing those door like that send a few flashbacks through Julia's mind, first of the warehouse where the demon possessing Jake kept her, taunting her with the similar looking exit doors. And second, the pure white behind them reminded her of the white walls of the hospital her father was in when he was first diagnosed with brain cancer.

All this had Sam worried a bit more. "You sure?" He pushed only slightly, not really calling 'bulshit' quite yet. She seemed to have taken that push well, not closing up, not shutting him out completely, which felt strange for her.

"I just want to go home." She said with a sigh.

Juls was always careful of her emotions and rarely let them show. She always wore this mask of a charming, yet naughty girl that would cover up all the scars and all the pain she bore, never letting anyone see it. And there she was, allowing herself to open up and let someone see what is underneath. No, not just someone, but a damn Winchester, a big league's hunter, a person whose past, a person whose surroundings could cut her down in an instant.

"My dad must be worried sick…" She added unwillingly, cursing herself from not being able to hold it together, getting more and more angry at herself for that. So, like any good hunter, she derailed the conversation from her emotions to the situation at hand and started going through the stuff that was on the shelves and packed in boxes.

"Julia, I…" Sam tried, but she held her hand to him and without even looking at him, she shook her head.

"Don't. Just… Don't." she warned, and Sam reluctantly decided to let it go for now turning his own attention to the things in the storage. Few boxes in had Julia sighing more and more after not finding anything useful. To Sam, she suddenly looked very tired, fed up with everything, but he didn't want to be caught staring, so he reached for another box, a big one, but not as heavy as he thought it would be. Opening it up, he smiled a bit, not so much at what he found, but at hope that the items might cheer Julia up a bit.

Without a word, just with that small goofy-looking smile, Sam turned to her and showed the the contents of the box. "Good, more clean clothes. At least there are some underwear." Juls said with a flat tone. Indeed there were a few more sweet pants, hoodies, all in navy camouflage colors, plain white shirt and most importantly - male and female underwear, along with a few sports bras, all unpacked, brand new.

Sam set the box by the door, thinking he would move it to the bedroom when it occurred to him. Only one bedroom. Only one bed. He took a deep breath and decided immediately he will take the extra blankets Juls found in the closet and sleep on the floor. Picking up another large box, this one as heavy as hell, he put it down on the ground and opened it. Another smile flashed on his face, and this time he turned to Juls and spoke in a slight cheerful voice. "Hey, check this out."

Juls came and glanced at the open box. Unwillingly a small smile crept upon her face, and her eyes sparked at the sight of instant meals, canned for preservation. She did see a small microwave in the kitchen, perfect size for these stakes with peas and chicken breasts with mushroom sauce. But she quickly dropped the smile and simply nodded. It was a bit upsetting for her, to be looking forward to a good meal when she should be looking for a way out.

She nodded and walked away, going deeper into the storage. She didn't notice Sam's sad look, or the way he signed sounding worried. She looked around the shelves and the boxes, noting usefulness in certain items, but leaving them there. On the farthest side of the room was a big locker and it got her attention, as she looked at the heavy lock on it. She turned the lock to herself and glanced at it, thinking what tool she could use to pick it, there certainly were things in the storage she could use. But then she glanced at her hand. She should have smiled, these things always bring a smile to her face. But she didn't. She just lifted the ax and swung down at the lock hard, breaking it along with a knob, sending sparks everywhere as metal connected to metal.

Immediately, Sam was by her side, alarmed at the sudden noise. But as soon as he realized what happened, where the noise came from, he relaxed, staying behind Juls and glancing over at her find. And what she found finally put a genuine smile on her face.

Full winter suits, a few of them in different sizes, jackets too. Gloves, goggles, wool hats, boots, anything and everything necessary to go out. There were even a few sets of keys Juls recognized as keys to scooters. And Sam couldn't help a small smile when she turned and grinned at him, but it was quickly gone. Before she even said a word, Sam spoke up.

"We should take it easy... It... It isn't as simple as walking out... We need to..."

"What we need is to get out of here! - Julia's tone was a bit harsh – Who knows what took us, how we got here and why we are here..."

"I know, I... I want to get out of here, but..." he was about to say that it was never that easy, this couldn't be that easy either, them just finding suits and scooters and walking away, like that. Whoever made the effort of bringing them there certainly wasn't going to let them just walk out. Especially considering where they were.

Sam knew a few things about North pole. He knew nights here could last around 11 weeks, he knew it was cold as hell and he surely knew there was no one for miles. If the scooters are even out there, there is a big possibility they didn't even work and they certainly can't just walk, not in this weather, not in this cold. No, as much as it hurt Sam not to be able to tell her he will pull her out of this, he knew it will be Dean who will find them. Alive or dead.

"No, I need to get out of here! You... you don't understand... ugh." Julia said and huffed in frustration. She hated being stuck in one place, she hated she couldn't do anything about it, and she hated her father for making her take the stupid hunt. Possible vampires just a few towns over. Yeah, just in and out. He said she needed it, she needed to vent and stop worrying about him so much, and now she is like literally in the ends of the world. She huffed and turned away from Sam, tension building up inside her.

Sam signed and looked up at her, sadness in his eyes mixing with guilt. He reached his hand to set on her shoulder and closed his eyes as he did so, opening his mouth to speak up.

WHAM!

Next thing Sam knew, he was on the ground, the headache much much worse as he seemed to have hit his head when Juls flipped him over with one swift move. Slight fear and sorrow past her eyes as she sucked a breath, and leaned over, going to reach him and make sure he was ok. It was clearly a reaction of an experience hunter who was too deep in thoughts and accidentally over-reacted. It was clear she was sorry she did it, but still, she paused, guilt filling her and she retracted, looking away in shame for only a few moments before she stormed out of the room.

Sam tried to get up, but kept slipping, and grunted before calling back on her. "Julia... Wait..." He barely pulled himself up on his feet and stumbled out of the room, holding himself up, leaning on the door frame. Julia was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dexter's laboratory was one of my favorite cartoons when I was growing up. Dexter was a short little nerd. His much taller sister DeeDee would come into his lab and push all sorts of buttons making things explode and every time she would use that line Juls said.
> 
> Looking forward to comments


	9. Should I stay or should I go?

"Ok, we got... - Sarah glanced at the phone – we got 6 hours to kill. What do you wanna do?' Dean didn't get a chance to respond before his stomach growled back at them. Sure, her pie was amazing, but that was a couple of hours ago, and he hadn't eaten anything else since the morning.

Sarah smiled and her hand came up to her own stomach, the undeniable feeling of hunger twisting inside. It was after all close to 4 pm, her usual meal time.

"Food?" Dean offered and her smile brightened as she nodded.(wow Dean, romance just spills out of you! Aren't you suppose to be a ladies man?)

"What are we having?" She asked as they stepped out of the motel room and Dean looked up at her after he locked the door. Honestly, he didn't really care. Pizza, burger, Mexican, Chinese, it all sounded good right now.

"You know this town better then I do. You pick." He simply replied and she beamed up for some reason, a spark in her eyes confusing the heck out of the hunter.

"You like burgers? Please say you like burgers. There is an awesome place near here that has the best burgers in the entire Miami. Heck, maybe even best in the whole Florida!" Sarah blurted as she walked (skipped?) to the car. Whatever she did, however she walked, it made her blond pony tail bounce, swinging left and right, and for some reason, Dean couldn't tear his eyes from it. It was like it was hypnotizing him. He snapped out of it when the pony tail disappeared from the sight, replaced by those big blue eyes of hers.

Dean shook his head, trying to get rid of that strange, warm feeling growing inside his chest. _Need to focus on finding Sammy._ But still he looked back up to her, curiosity in her eyes, and a bright smile on her face, and he huffed a smile too, he just had to. He could feel he was being drawn to her somehow, and for the first time in a long time, he didn't try to fight it. Sure, Sammy came first, but maybe...

"Can I drive?" She asked innocently, and all those thoughts got flushed in an instant. Too soon, Sarah, too soon. Her smile dropped in, turning from a bright to an awkward one as she realized what she asked. She knew better then that, and scolded herself internally for even thinking a guy like Dean would just let a woman... No, anyone drive his Baby. She knew just how much a car like that can mean to a guy, she has seen it with uncle Dom.

"Yeah, sorry... I... Forget I said anything. You drive and I'll navigate." She tried to rescue the situation and bit her lip hard, sending more curse words to herself when Dean just nodded and took the driver's seat, not sparing her a glance.

Few minutes into the ride, after Sarah pointed in the general direction they were headed, Dean tried to break the awkward silence. That feeling rose in his chest again as he kept glancing at her, and he needed to get it off his mind, to think, to focus on something else. "Where is the place?"

"It is in a part of town called Brickel, it is basically by the water on a mound." Sarah replied looking outside the car.

_Mouth? Did she just say mouth?_ Dean wondered and glanced a few times at her full lips, before finally shaking his head, willing himself to snap out of it. "Nice... – he tried again – What's it called?"

"Crazy About You."****** Sarah simply answered. Dean's eyes widened, and he snapped his head in her direction, simultaneously jerking the wheel in the same direction. The car wobbled but Dean quickly brought it back on the track, and Sarah looked alerted glancing everywhere around and then finally looking at Dean with a questioning gaze. "Wha... What was that?"

"Sorry, my bad. You were saying?" He tried to look cool and to shrug it off, and she watched him warily for a moment before deciding to let it go. "Crazy About You. That's the name of the place." She missed it, but Dean flinched at the name, then signed when he heard he wasn't imagining things. It was just the name of the place, no big deal. It isn't like the place was a romantic spot, right? Right?

Well, Dean was sort of right. It was a romantic spot, with tables for two by the sea, candles and all that. However, it also had an open bar, both inside and outside, a freakin' tree growing in the middle of the lounge, nice fancy tables inside, then a part that was like someone's apartment, with a family table, and finally a cozy little table in a far corner. The place had many pictures, small and large and a black and white portrait of Marilyn Monroe. It had street signs and wine bottles, and as much as it seemed like it was just a bunch of random stuff, they all fitted in perfectly.

There were a couple of signs, a few metal plates with words on them, a big banner with something written on it, but there was one thing that caught his attention. Across from where they were seated was a bar, and above it huge letters said:

"_When was the last time you felt something for the first time?"_

Sarah ordered them burgers and fries, and Dean couldn't help a small moan that escaped him when he taste the burger. The meat was thick, perfectly juicy. It held that smoke aroma that said it was made over an open fire, grilled just the way Dean liked it. The fries were all incredibly long and he caught himself huffing a smile each time he picked one up.

They sat there for over two hours, taking muffins with whipped cream for dessert and talked about random things. Dean learned that Sarah liked the ocean, but loved the woods and nature. Much to his horror, he learned she liked dance and pop-rock music, especially 90s dance hits. He learned she liked to eat sweets, craved them sometimes, and that her favourite candy was Mars (well, not really Snickers, but better then granola bars). He learned she worked as a nurse, but hated the blood, couldn't stand the sight of it. Sarah told him her real passion was in cooking, baking especially, but that her adoptive father thought food was a waste of her time. Sarah said the house she was in, was all her and DocZ had, aside from each other.

Dean could feel something off about the doc, about how he would treat her, her own choice of words when it came to him, but seeing as she didn't want to talk about it, he dropped the matter. He told her that he and Sammy spent most of their lives on the road, that Baby was for a long time their only home. Until they found the bunker and settled in. He avoided the conversation about supernatural and instead talked about his love for mullet rock and horror movies. She was more for a good comedy or a science fiction/action movies, preferring the classics. She might have mentioned Schwarzenegger a few times, and his action and comedy movies.

Their conversation picked up after they left the restaurant and decided to take a walk by the ocean. Dean talked about his brother, maybe even a bit too much, but Sarah patiently listened, absorbing every word he said. He would joke and call him a book worm, but there was a warm smile on his face. Sarah laughed when Dean told her about Sam's hair style and about his height and she teased him just a bit about it.

Two more hours of just walking and talking made Dean a lot more relaxed, not nearly as tired as he should be. Actually, he felt good, he felt recharged and he knew it had something to do with her. Sarah just emanated this positive energy that consumed him, gave him straight and hope he will find Sam, and everything would work out. So when they ran into some street performers and one of them suddenly blew fire as a part of the show, he gasped in slight shock widening his eyes at Sarah's scream.

Sarah screamed when the performer blew fire in their general direction, and even though he was far enough not to hurt anyone, Sarah still went pale and started shaking. Everyone's eyes snapped at the woman that screamed, clearly curious and some even annoyed by her reaction and Dean's instincts kicked in. He came up to her and hugged her, glaring daggers at the crowd. "What are you all looking at? The show's over there!" He growled and pulled Sarah away. They walked a few steps to a nearby bench and he didn't let go as they sat down together. He could feel her shaking in his arms, and a glance at her face he silently gasped at the sight of her paleness as a tear slid down her cheek.

"Shh... It's ok, it's ok. I gotcha. I gotcha." He tightened his grip and held it for good fifteen minutes as she slowly calmed down and only let go once he felt her squirm. It didn't seem like she wanted him to let go completely, but she knew she owned him an explanation.

"I... I am sorry..." She started, but he shook his head, clearly indicating no apologies were needed.

"Don't worry about it. You ok now? – he asked and when she nodded he continued – That's all I need to know." There was evident worry in his eyes, but he wasn't dismissing the whole event, just offering a free pass. If she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't have to. She shook her head at his words and took a deep breath, still shaking a bit, but trying to calm herself.

"I... I have this fear of fire... Like real, petrifying fear... And the way that guys surprised me with it..." She spoke and could see just a spec of anger pass through Dean's eyes as she mentioned the performer, but said nothing as he kept his focus on her. "I... I..." She tried and sighed. Time for her long sad story.

"I... I mentioned my adoptive father, DocZ – Ezekiel Jones. He... He saved me when I was a baby... I... I was only a few months old when a fire consumed my home and my parents. He... He is the one that pulled me out, he was a family friend... And even though I was just like six months old at the time, every night I dream of that fire and my father up on..." Sarah sucked in a breath, suddenly shuddering again, and Dean came up to hug her, eyes slightly widened and surprised on his face... _No,no... She couldn't be..._

"I know, I know it doesn't make sense – she said with a sob, her head buried in his chest – I might be a psychic and seeing that fire in my dreams isn't all that far fetched, but... It isn't the fire that scares me... In... In one moment a black figure is looming over me, and then I hear a scream and a snap... and then the fire starts and I... I can see my father above me, burning... And... I am crying for him, crying out for my mother and then... Then there is a flash of bright white light and I... The next thing I know, DocZ is holding me, angry and arguing with someone, but there is no more fire. Still, I don't feel safe... I... I never feel safe..."

_Ohh..._

Her head was still down, buried in his chest and she could see the slight shock on his face, eyes wide and mouth cracked open as if he was trying to say something, but didn't know what. She could hear his heart-beat pick up the pace and she pulled away, still darting the ground, too embarrassed to look up at him. Spending a life time of being looked upon as a freak, she was used to it, and she stopped caring eventually, but there was something about Dean that made her care. Care about what he thought of her. She knew she would have to face him.

Meanwhile, as Dean watched her pull away and look so sad and so small, the shock slowly turned into understanding, he knew whatever happened then wasn't her fault, none of it was on her, but it still made him sad that, even though she was blissfully unaware of the supernatural, it was always a part of her life.

Sarah finally brought her gaze upon him, not really sure what to expect. Dean was looking at her with a soft look, a hint of sadness in his eyes, but not pity, and she felt a bit of relief. Of course, he had seen stranger things, he had been though a lot weirder situations, as far as she could gather.

"Yeah, nothing new to you, right? - she said and missed the slight pinch in his chest that made his brows furrow for a second – You've probably seen it all..."

Dean breathed in and out. What is he supposed to say? She was right about one thing, this wasn't new to him. Should he tell her everything? Would that terrify her? Of course it would, he would scare her to death with that story. But at the same time he knew he couldn't, shouldn't keep it a secret, he has to tell her. But it would hurt her, it might send her spiraling downward, she was already shy and reserved when it came to contact with other people, she was already too aware of how people perceive her. He feared knowing that her powers came from demon blood would crush her spirit completely.

Before Dean could say a word, he was saved by a literal bell, when Sarah's phone received a notification. She gave Dean a small smile and pulled her phone out. The smile brightened for a second as she brought her gaze up. "It's Pablo. The bike is in his garage." It was like she was struck wit a new surge of energy, gaining a new purpose and seeing things in motion again, she stood up faster then Dean expected and excitedly said "Let's go see what it has."

Half an hour later, Dean was looking down at this short guy who only glanced at Sarah as he greeted her, and then stared daggers at the hunter for good ten minutes, while Sarah exchanged pleasantries. Never looking away from Dean, Pablo asked "Does Dom know about this?" The way her said the word 'this' implied he was talking about Dean, and clearly not liking the guy.

"He does." Sarah lied, flashing her eyes from Pablo to Dean. Pablo just nodded and stared at Dean for a few seconds more before he moved at him. Dean half expected an attack, but the mechanic just brushed past him and walked out. Dean felt relieved he wouldn't have to get into an altercation with the guy, but didn't let it show. Instead, he walked over to the Honda, brushing his hand over the seat and the tank, all over the 'Transalp' sign, and it almost looked like he was caressing it. He slowly turned to the trunk that had a few familiar symbols on it and tried to open it. Naturally, it was locked. Probably booby-trapped too.

Sarah watched Dean with great excitement and amazement in her eyes as Dean went over each symbol telling roughly what it represented and then opened the trunk cases, cracking them just enough to get to the trip wires, before opening them wide. She watched with great astonishment at the contents as Dean pull the things out almost robotically, cataloging them in his mind, but no paying much interest. To him, they were just regular hunter stuff, but they confirmed his doubts. Whoever that woman was, she was definitely an experienced hunter, but aside from that and the fact that she loved pie and her bike, he knew nothing about her. There was nothing in these cases that was personal, and Dean knew why. Smart girl, covering her tracks. It is going to prove difficult for him to find out who she is.

Dean sighed. This was his only lead, and it was turning out thin. Even if he could find out who she is, would it even matter, or would it be just another waste of time? It certainly wasn't a coincidence she was there and disappeared like his brother did, but still, Dean couldn't help but feel he should be doing something concrete.

"May I?" Sarah asked and once Dean nodded, she reached out into the middle of the weapons pile and picked up a silver Magnum, Desert Eagle 429 DE. She looked like she knew exactly which one to pick up. Dean watched her pick the gun up, he had to admit, the huntress had good taste, and watched as Sarah rolled it in her hands.

"Her favorite... Was a gift from someone she holds dear... A... A father figure?" She questioned, not completely sure. Sarah then wet over and picked up a few other things too, but none kept her attention for long. Until she reached an angel blade. She picked it up and focused on it, her brows furrowing. It felt cold, but at the same time it was like it was burning her hand slightly. After a minute or so, it became unbearable and she had to set it back down.

"Angel blade. - Dean explained – kills angels and demons and a few other things too." To that , Sarah just nodded, not sure why it felt so strange holding one. It was cool in her hand and slick, and somehow it felt right, it felt like it fit. But the more she grew wary of that feeling, the more it started to burn her, and she just had to set it back down.

"Well... - Dean interrupted her trail of thought- There is nothing much here that could help us, these are all just regular hunting tools. I did find a few of the woman's fake IDs. Julia Roberts, Julia Stiles, Julie Andrews... Pretty sure the girl is either obsessed with movie stars or is named Julia. Might be both." He added, huffing a laugh.

Dean turned and started putting all the things back to the trunk cases and without turning, said to Sarah "You think Pablo would hold the bike for us? I got a feeling Julia here is pretty attached to this beauty." When Sarah said nothing, Dean turned to glance at her and she quickly nodded, falling back into her thoughts. She kept quiet even as they exited the garage and when they reached Dean's car, he turned to her, giving her a slightly worried look before speaking.

"OK, I gotta go back to the motel room and see if I can hack into... something to find out who this woman is..." He trailed off for a second, and rubbed the back of his neck. It was getting late, and this is probably where her help would cease, but Dean didn't want that. He wanted her to stay with him, and not just because he knew who she was and needed to find a way to tell her, to explain. He felt like he was meant to find her, like they were supposed to meet and work together and finish this, and as much as he hated the notion of fate, it still wasn't enough to turn him away from Sarah. "You want me to give you a ride back to your place, or..." Dean started to ask, almost holding his breath at the end of the unfinished question.

"Can I stay with you? - Sarah asked and then quickly added – I... I am curious to see who the woman is, and where the next lead would take us..." And Dean smiled to her words. _Yeah, where would the next lead take US?_ For some reason, he loved the sound of that, and bit by bit, the walls around his heart started to crumble as he allowed himself to admit... He was falling for her.

They got into the car and the music of the radio filled the air as they drove back to his motel room. The song was almost ironic, but they did miss the ominous ring it had to it.

_`Should I stay or should I go?_

_If I stay, there will be trouble... If I go, it will be double...`_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Yes, I know I wrote the Clash song wrong, it goes "If I go there will be trouble, and if I stay it will be double". However, I have taken some writer's liberty and changed the lyrics for my own personal selfish reasons which I won't share.
> 
> * * Crazy About You is an actual place, an actual restaurant in Miami. I have never been there, never tasted their burgers. I was doing research to possible places Sarah and Dean could go, and when this name popped up… Perfect. Plus, it does actually sell burgers even if it looks a bit fancier then I described it.


	10. If I could melt your heart

By the time Sam reached the other side of the facility, he was walking normally, he managed to walk off the pain in his back, but his headache was still at full blast. He looked around for any sigh of Juls, and when he reached the Mess Hall, the kitchen, he heard a door slam, somewhere in the direction of the bedroom. He hurried there only to catch a glimpse of her as she walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. A few seconds later he heard the shower running and he sighed, standing in one place for a while, thinking what to do.

He wanted to help her, to get her out of there, to get them both out, but he knew that it wouldn't be that easy. He knew he needed to find another way. He threw one sad expression at the bathroom door and turned to walk back into the storage. He picked up some clean clothes along with some unpacked underwear and sports bras and walked back to the bathroom. He gently tapped on the door and listened for any sound from the other side. When none came, he spoke:

"I brought you some clean clothes, gonna leave them here by the door. I am gonna go check out the maintenance room, you'll find me either there or in the storage..." In case she even came looking. Still no response from the other side, and Sam sighed again and just waked away.

Julia ran. Ran because she couldn't face Sam after her reaction. A part of her knew that the way she started treating him wasn't fair, wasn't right, but a part of her blamed him for the situation she was in, and she couldn't help it. He was a Winchester, a famous hunter who dealt with God knows what kinds of powerful creatures, this thing was a walk in the park for the likes of him. He would probably be out within the next 24 hours.

He will probably have that angel that is following them around zap him out of there, wings or not. Or his brother would find a spell and pull him out. And it wouldn't be the first time that someone was left behind. She heard the stories.

She didn't even realize, but she found herself in the bathroom, stripping down and entering the shower, needing to calm her nerves. She let the warm water hit her face and she hugged herself tight, wishing she could just shut her mind and make it all go way.

But the thoughts of her father,lying pale in that hospital bed... It was breaking her. And sure, he bounced back, the cancer seemingly cured now, but that image... That image would haunt her forever. She still saw him as weak, he was after all those chemo treatments. He was half his size, skin and bone, but the color was back in his cheeks as he smiled upon her and told her to go and take care of those possible vampires. He practically ushered her to the door, saying she needed the out, she needed to vent.

It was just a small indication of vampires. But she never even managed to check it out before she was taken. Her heart ached at the thought of her father worrying about her next to all he had to deal with, and it has already been probably a day, if not even more since she got in touch with him.

She heard Sam call out to her, heard what he said and she shut her eyes tight, the strong facade of her walls starting to crumble just a bit, and she wouldn't, couldn't let it happen. Why couldn't he just be some smug bastard? It would make it so much easier. Why does he have to be sweet and thoughtful?

Julia didn't even realize when the tears started running along with the water, she didn't even know she was crying until she felt a slight burn in her eyes. She sniffed and tried to snap out of it, taking the soap and quickly washing up, leaving the shower as soon as she was done rinsing, like she wanted to get away from those feelings, from those thoughts, from it all. She sighed and cracked the door open to grab the clothes Sam left her, clenching her eyes shut once more, feeling guilty.

Slowly, she put on each item, looking herself over in the mirror. She put on the underwear and the sweat pants, the bra too. She reached and took the shirt that was settled on an empty bathroom cabinet and brought her gaze back on the mirror, back on her own eyes. Then she traced down her neck, between her breasts and down to her stomach. Her hand hovered over it, hovered over the scar that was still showing, slowly fading away. The scar started at the top of her stomach and moved all the way down, cutting through a horizontal scar that ran from one hip to the other, making a reverse cross. It was fading, day by day, but the memory it carried would never go away, it would never heal.

Julia closed her eyes tight, this time not allowing a single tear to spill, and after a few moments she signed deeply. Putting on the shirt and a hoodie, she went towards the door. Sam probably was exactly where he said he would be, but she couldn't face him, not yet. This whole thing just got to her. She didn't break down not even when her father was in the hospital. At least she was by his side then. She had to be strong for him. Here, she had no one to be strong for.

She huffed a laugh at that thought as she entered the bedroom again. There was Sam. But would he really care if she broke down?

Of course he would, she was starting to see just who he is. A sweet guy who went though probably a lot worse things that her, and was still walking and talking. He was a famous in hunter circles, accused of associating with the devil, and then proven to be a hero. At yet, he was modest and sweet. Julia sighed again as she sat on the bed, feeling tired. She really should go find Sam and apologize. She… She just needed a minute to gather her thoughts and emotions, stuff them back into the metaphorical box, lock it and hide the key.

Meanwhile, Sam looked over at the things in the storage, every few seconds glancing at those suits and wondering. Maybe he could go out, just to see if there are scooters, if they worked. Maybe, if this was an abandoned facility, maybe there is an operational one nearby? A lot of maybes, a lot of different scenarios went through his mind. He already tried praying, but knew it didn't work, Jack would have teleported in by now. Or just snapped his fingers and bring Sam back to the bunker. No, something was interfering. Either the place was warded somehow, or the magnetic pull of the Pole is disrupting the prayer.

A place like this should have a radio station, right? But he hasn't seen one, not here in the storage nor in the office. Maybe in that locked room across the office? Sam walked out of the storage, determined to try and find a way to open that door, when the maintenance sign came into view. Yeah, he might as well check that out too. It was probably a boiler room and could have some useful tools.

The door of the Maintenance room wasn't locked, but it took a few moments to budge open, Sam having to slam it a bit with his shoulder. The door gave in and Sam ended up stumbling in the room and immediately going eye wide.

Yes, it had the huge boiler, vents starting from it and going up in the ceiling. The boiler was hooked up to a generator, the machine that probably powered up the entire station as well. Since there was no fuel source in sigh, Sam assumed there would be a big, very well isolated gas tank outside, seeing some pipes going from the generator up to the outer wall.

There were two tool boxes with everything they might need. There were gas canisters and another locker and on the left it had a working station, just like in a work-shop. But on the right… Ohhh, on the right…

On the right was a desk filled with machinery and cables. On top of the equipment that Sam already recognized stood a microphone. Sam couldn't help the small smile that tugged his lips. He found a radio.

Sitting down at the desk, he looked over the entire equipment, noting there was a system for announcements, that was never assembled, but also the radio station that seemed fully operational. "Julia!" He suddenly shouted. There was a spark of excitement building up inside of him and he wanted, he needed to show her what he found. He hoped she finished up in the bathroom (also noting he could use a shower too), as he stumbled out of the room and headed towards the bedrooms. This was great news. They could reach out to someone and ask for help.

"Julia!" He yelled again coming up to the security door she opened, thinking that this would make her feel better, there was hope. Hope that they could get out of here. Sam stopped short as a though hit him. What if it doesn't work? What if there is nobody on the other side?

He sighed closing his eyes, a single word crossing his lips. "Dammit." Yeah, he should know by now not to get his hopes up like that. But the worst part wasn't that his hopes might get crushed. It was that hers would be too.

Too late now.

"Sam?!" Juls came into view, looking at him curiously, if not even slightly alarmed. There was a hint of sadness mixed into her expression, but it was masked quickly. Seeing he is ok, and that there seemed to be no immediate danger, she raised a brow. "What's up?"

"I.. I found something…" Sam said looking slightly defeated. His expression mirror his words as he spoke. "I… I don't want to get your hopes up, but I found a radio. Still need to check if it works, but I…"

"You wanted to tell me first." Julia offered and Sam took it, nodding. Better that then to admit he dared hope. "Alright. Let's check it out." She added and raised the other brow at Sam, her lip twisting into a small smile. He huffed a smile as well as he moved to let her pass, motioning his hand it the direction of the maintenance room.

Walking over to the room, Juls had her back turned to Sam, so he couldn't see how she closed her eyes, feelings weighing on her for a second before she slipped the mask back on. She peeked into the room before entering and came to stand by the radio equipment, eyeing it, but clearly letting Sam try and operate it.

Sam nodded in her direction when she glanced over at him and he took a seat on the small chair, and leaned in to check it over. He turned the radio on, smiling seeing it had power and checked the frequencies. Sam took a deep breath as he turned the frequency dial, hoping to catch anything, any broadcast. So far, only static.

Two hours Julia stood by Sams side watching as he beat himself up, but never stop trying to reach anyone. Somewhere after the first hour they were ready to give it up when the static tuned into a buzzing sound that was for some strange reason familiar to Sam. He kept claiming he knew that sound, acting like he was trying to convince Juls, but she believed him. Sam tried to reach anyone on that particular frequency for another hour, trying and cursing himself. Twice. Twice he let his hopes up, twice he made Juls get her hopes up and then came crashing.

He flinched when Julia set a hand on his shoulder, giving him a sympathetic smile followed by a nod and he sighed. "I'm sorry, I…"

"Nothing to be sorry about. You tried. We'll try more later, but now you need to step away for a bit. You need to rest." She said in a calm tone, knowing well it wasn't her place to tell him what to do. She still couldn't find a way to say she was sorry, so she just played around it, acted like it didn't happen. Her own thoughts she had about Sam previously were feeding her guilt as she saw him trying to get them both out of there. As he tried and sank down as the hope drained away.

"I… I could use a shower." Sam said, letting his head fall backwards and his hands cover his face for a moment. He moved them down his face to his mouth, blinking his eyes open. There were heavy bags under his eyes, and he glanced at the clock, seeing it was around 6 pm. Ten hours.

They have been there, conscious, for 10 hours.

Once more, Sam ran a hand over his eyes and set it on his chin as he glared at the radio. He reached and pressed a button, leaning in to speak. "This is Dye3 North Pole Research station. Is there anyone out there? Over." He waited for a few seconds and pressed the button again. "If anyone can hear me, if anyone heard these broadcasts… (heavy sigh) Please, we need help."

Static.

Sam sighed again and looked at Juls defeated. He nodded at her, agreeing to give it a rest for now. He got up and after getting some clean clothes from the storage, he went to take a shower. Twenty minutes later, he stepped out and went to check on Juls. Finding her rummaging through storage, he asked if she needed any help with anything.

"Go on, get some rest. I will see what else there is around here and if there is anything useful." Julia said with a small forced smile, quickly breaking eye contact. She had some similar ideas seeing the generator and the boiler, thinking she might check out the perimeter around the facility. Sam looked beat, and Julia's actions certainly didn't help.

Sam nodded and walked back into the bedroom, laid on the bed on his stomach, since his back still hurt a bit, and closed his eyes. He didn't want to fall asleep, he just wanted to rest a bit, to let his muscles relax and let his body regenerate. He didn't want to fall asleep just yet, to worried about the whole situation. He disappeared right after hunt, Dean must be freaking out. By the time he figures the vamps had nothing to do with his disappearance, and moves on to other options, who knows what might happen to them. To Juls and Sam. But more importantly to Juls. She doesn't deserve this. If only Sam had a clue to what _THIS_ is.

And with those thoughts, he unwillingly wondered off to the dream land.

* * *

2755 miles away, a red light started to blink on a very old, but not dusty dashboard. Right next to the red light, a green one lighted up a few seconds later, and suddenly, the dark around those lights was replaced by light and a buzzing sound of a generator. Sam's cracking voice came over the old speaker, but was quickly muffled by more cracking sounds. The speaker was malfunctioning, probably from not being used to pick up supernatural broadcasts for over 50 years. For over an hour the red light blinked and the lights were kept automatically on in an old bunker until the desperate voice on the other side gave up and died out, letting the lights turn off and the green and red light disappear like they were never lit.

* * *

Sam blinked his eyes open and glanced around, for a second forgetting where he was. Once he realized, he closed his eyes, and huffed an ironic smile at himself. Rubbing his eyes, he got up and out of the bedroom. Noticing the clock, he saw he only dozed off for two hours, it was just over 8 PM.

"Julia? You in here?" Sam asked checking out the kitchen first. When he didn't find her there, he checked the office and the lab, calling out to her, but getting no answer. A strange feeling of worry and alertness arose as he moved to the other side of the facility, calling out her name, getting no response. Nothing in the maintenance room. Nothing in the storage room.

He was about to turn and head back, for a second thinking she was able to open the mystery door, when something caught his eye. The locker that contained the suits was open wide and there was a light blue suit missing. Sam's eyes went wide and he hurried of to the exit door as fast as he could. Swinging them open like they were made of cardboard and not heavy metal, he darted all around, calling out her name, a clenching feeling in his chest rising up, and unsettling feeling of wrongness making his mind replay a thousands scenarios.

He glanced down and saw the footprints, watched them go to the back of the facility. Before he knew it, Sam was putting on a green suit that just barely fit him and running out the door, all the while shouting Julia's name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hereby proclaim not to have much of a clue as to how boilers, generators and radio station work, so if there are any mistakes, I apologize in advance.


	11. Hungry for your love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: The chapter contains violence and gore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is anyone out there that would like to read a funny but at the same time a bit of an emotional Dean-turned-female story, direct your attention to Secretwrittenword's "Certain Things That Will Befall a Man Like Me", a story on Fanfiction site. It is - as Dean would say - aWesome!

Sarah was confused. No, not confused, lost. She has spent time around one person for a long periods of time, like DocZ or uncle Dom, but she was never getting such strong and conflicting feelings from a person. She figured Dean was good at hiding what he feels, his facial expressions blank as a thousand and one emotion swam inside of him. He didn't show any, but she could feel all.

There was sadness and fear, worry and unease and as much as she would like to hope it was directed at Sam, she knew those emotions were about her. But there was also some strange sense of care, of protectiveness, like he knew she could read him like an open book and was trying to keep himself shut. There was confusion and uncertainty, anxiety and something else too. Something she only saw a glimpse whenever uncle Dom would look at Elena.

It confused her. If there was just the wariness from his part, she would consider him just another person who thinks of her as a freak, even if he said he didn't. But she saw he was honest about it. He was when he said he saw freakier things then her. So why was he acting (feeling) like this now?

"You seem quiet." Dean said snapping out of his own thoughts and glancing at the girl in the passenger seat. He kept thinking about his mom and his dad, about that fire that changed their lives, that started the streak of bad misfortune for them, and he couldn't help but feel sorry that someone else had to go through that as well, for whatever reason. He wished so badly she wasn't one of those children, he wished it wasn't done that to her, he wished he didn't have to be the one to tell her just what that all meant.

"You were quiet too." Sarah countered, not wanting to sound too strict, but with a tone that said she knew he was hiding something from her and she wanted to know what. Her instincts were telling her he cares about her just a bit, just enough to want to hide some ugly truth from her. She wasn't that fragile, didn't he know? She has years of toughening up against people who saw her as nothing more than a freak. She could take whatever he threw her way, or so she thought.

Dean sighed upon her statement. He was wrapped up in his own thoughts regarding all of it, at the same time considering what should he tell her. Would it even matter anymore? The demon blood inside Azazel's children was meant to corrupt them and make them strong enough to pass his little battle to the death which Sammy lost. It was also meant to manipulate them to cross the devil's trap made of railways back in Wyoming. Even if she did have demon blood in her now, if it hadn't faded away by now, it wouldn't hold much difference.

Though it does raise the question of why she was never in Cold Oak.

„Things are just complicated." Dean said keeping his eyes on the road. He still had no idea what to tell her, but knew she wouldn't let it go that easily.

„Aren't they always?" Sarah offered bringing her gaze from the passenger window to him. When he didn't move, just gripping the wheel and looking on the road ahead, she shifted and turned her whole body towards him, her body language sugesting she wanted to hear it all. She was there, she was ready, she was opening up, ready to take the blows. „Talk to me."

Dean took a deep breath and closed his eyes heavily for a second, he still needed to watch the road. Maybe it was easier this way. This way he had an excuse not to turn to her, not to look her in the eyes as he spoke. Easier to keep the mask on, to appear as if it was just another story and not his life.

„Our Mom died in a fire too." Dean started and paused for a moment. Loosing her for the second time hurt like nothing before, and even though he knew she was happier then she ever would have been with them on Earth, he still missed her. His eyes started to water up just a tiny bit, but he blinked and sucked in a breath, and the tears were gone.

„I was four, and Sam was just a baby, a few months old. – he continued, now with a little less emotions – Dad shoved him into my arms and told me to run, and he went back to try and save her, but he couldn't. She was gone." Dean paused again, not sure how to say, how to explain it. He flinched and looked down on his hand.

Sarah set a comforting hand on his, and when he looked up at her, meeting her soft eyes, he instantly felt just a bit better. Being engulfed in that strange feeling again made him feel good, made him feel at ease, or better said at pease. Just a bit. He sighed, pulling his gaze back on the road. Two more turns and they were at the motel, but he couldn't shake the feeling that if he said more, if he opened up more, he would feel better.

He parked the car, mechanically putting it in neutral and shutting the engine off, but not moving from his spot. Sarah seemed to pick up on the fact that there was more to it, so she stayed in the same position, waiting for him to speak. It began as a whisper, Sarah barely heard what he said, but tried to listen in and tried not to react, just to let him feel comfortable to share.

„It was a demon. A demon killed her. That was the night our father found out about the supernatural. That was the night our lives changed forver. He raised us as hunters, always trying to find the thing that killed mom and to end it somehow. To get revenge. And he died, died to save me and I went, and I got him his revenge. But I wouldn't have done it, not if it would affect Sam in any way. He... He is my little brother. He is all I have left. I have to find him." Dean confessed his eyes fixated on the stearing wheel, unable to look Sarah in the eyes.

He felt her hand move from his hand to his arm, and he finally turned to her, expecting to see some pity and empathy there. His brows furrowed just a bit as he saw some strange determination in her eyes and she said „We will. We will find him."

The look in her eyes, and the heavy feelings bubling now inside of him made him waver and he brought his gaze back on the wheel, clenching his fists, not making a single epression, not allowing any of it to show. He tensed when he felt her arms around him, but he let himself be pullled slightly, brought into a warm hug that just radiated pease and comfort, that promised the solutions of all his problems, making him relax. „We will find him." Sarah repeated as if she was assuring him of it, as if she was prophizing it as if her word was the truth. Dean nodded, not moving an inch, feeling his mask trying to slip down, and he was so close to let it when she pulled away and smiled encouragingly at him, her hand lingering on his shoulder just a second longer.

„Now, let's go find out who this Julia chick is, ok?" Sarah offered and waited from him to pull the door handle, to open his door before she did the same. Dean paused again, a part of him wishing to be back in that warm protective hug, but quickly gathered himself giving Sarah a firm nod and opening his door.

„I am not so sure it would matter." Dean said as they walked to the motel room door. „I am begining to think that Julia or whatever her name is, was just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

„Maybe." Sarah offered. „Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. Maybe we will hit another dead end, get sidetracked in our search for them. But we will find them." Maybe Sarah was calling on bad luck, or maybe she saw it coming, but that is exactly what was going to happen. She paused as they reached the door, her expression turning serious. Dean noticed her stop and turned to look at her, instantly becoming alerted upon seeing the look in her eyes. It was the same back at the store. Someone was watching them.

He darted their surroundings, reaching forward and gripping Sarah's hand and pulling her back toward the door, to the safety of the room. He reached the knob and turned it, instantly remembering he locked the door when they left, and it was now unlocked. Dean swiftly turned at the cracked door, only to see a teenage girl smirking viciously at him.

His hand was still on the knob when Sarah screamed and he felt her hand slip out of his and he snapped his eyes back on her.

"De...mgh!" Sarah tried to call out to him as she was being pulled away into the darkness.

Damn it! He was too distracted by the unlocked door to see a teenage kid creep up on them. Dean blinked and a name tag flashed before his eyes , connecting the kid in front of him to a name, to a person he saw before. Brian. The cashier at the grocery store.

Dean was about to charge him, when he felt a tug in his arm, and the door swung open the rest of the way, revealing an older kid, another person Dean immediately recognized as the punk-rock wannabe sipping his beer in the shades of the store, eying them. Dean was torn, his focus split in just one second and before he knew it, Sarah was gone and there was a sharp pain on the back of his head. He was losing the battle for consciousness, all the while thinking about Sarah, worried and needing to protect her.

He fell on his knees, his eyes catching only blurry images of someone being dragged away from him, but he could hear her muffled screams and he knew she was calling out for him. His heart threaten to leap out if his chest, that is how fast it beat, and he felt bile rising up in the back of his throat as he lifted his hand towards the figures up ahead, but no matter how strong he was, the darkness came and overtook him before he could do a damn thing about it.

* * *

"Dean?"

Dean could hear the terrified whisper coming from somewhere near him, and as much as he just wanted to go back into that darkness, to let go, to drift away, her voice forced him to fight, urged him to come back and at least let her know he was there.

"Dean?!"

Her voice sounded more urgent and completely scared and Dean grunted in return, slowly rising up through the darkness and fighting to regain some of his strength so that he could at least open his eyes.

"Dean?!"

Her voice was nothing but a sob now and it scared him and it pissed him off at the same time. She was innocent, she was just a girl, she didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve to have an ounce of fear in her voice. With another grunt, Dean slowly resurfaced, his arms feeling numb. They would be, seeing he was suspended by them, chained to a pipe.

He sucked in a breath and winced at the pain in his wrists, feeling the chain cutting into them from his own weight. He felt chains on his ankles too, whoever tied him up was smart enough to tie his legs to the ground too. Shit.

He summoned the little strength he had, feeling pain shot through his back and through his stomach too and managed to pry his eyes open. He wished he didn't.

The physical pain he felt was a result of the beating he took, he knew that pain well. But the emotional pain he felt seeing Sarah chained next to him, her eyes red from tears, her hair a mess, her lower lip split and bleeding, that pain would haunt him forever. He closed his eyes heavily wishing it could all be just a dream.

"Dean, please."

She whispered, her voice broken and fearful, and Dean forced himself to open his eyes again. He took in her appearance once more and felt his chest ache. On the outside she didn't appear to have any injuries aside from the split lip, but appearances can be deceiving. He could only hope she wasn't hurt much.

"'m her'. "He was able to mutter, a weak assurance he is still alive, but there was some clear self-hatred emitting from him. He didn't even remember what happened, how they ended up in... The abandoned factory Dean knew. This was Dodge Island. The vampire hunt. This was where they took down a bunch of vampires before Sam disappeared. Shit.

He was definitely beaten, he could feel each place a punch landed on, but he brought his gaze upon Sarah and asked with clear plea in his voice. "You ok?" _She's not ok, dumbass! How could she be?_ He thought, but still hoped they hadn't beaten her.

Sarah breathed out clear relief and closed her eyes for a moment as if she was calming herself, now knowing Dean is ok. Well, as ok as he could be considering how many punches he took. But he was still there, he was still alive. And somehow, it was what mattered the most.

She didn't know why, she coudn't understand it, but all the fear she felt for herself, all the self preservation went away the second they hit him for the first time. She screamed at them to leave him alone, but they just kept going, smirking back to her face, laughing like crazy. And even though she recieved a slap so hard, she wondered how it didn't snap her head off of her body, all she seemed to care about was Dean. All she could see is that little tormented boy inside his soul, and her own heart cried out in pain seeing him like that.

Sarah opened her eyes and looked at him, tears still streaming down her face, and she opted to say something when the only door in the room swung open and three people entered the room. No, make that three vampires, Dean thought. The girl seemed to be around Brian's age, or she was swhen she was turned anyway. The punk-rocker wannabe seemed like an older brother to them, a washed-up, overgrown teenager. He seemed serious, but his face empty of all other emotions. Brian was clearly pissed and out for blood, while the girl, next to the anger, displayed some craziness in her eyes as well.

„Well, well, the itty-bitty hunter's awake. – The punk-rocker said, slight mock in his voice – Good. That's good. It is so much better when you see it coming. So much more... Enjoyable." He said with a slight smirk and punched Dean in the jaw hard. Sarah screamed a loud no, and the punk-rocker started laughing. „She is soo good. Oh, that sweet fear in her voice, that dread when she sees us do this to you."

„Yeah, she knows now just what I felt when I saw you butcher my family – the girl spat out – when you and that other guy beheaded them all." Dean's eyes flickered up to the girl, his vision blurry, but the mention of his brother had his attention. Did they have him? Did they kill him? „Too bad we couldn't find him. – the girl said and Dean felt slight relief at that – But I guess you're just gonna have to do. For now."

„Stop! Stop it! Leave him alone!" Sarah cried out, feeling exactly what it was doing to him, the mention of Sam, the possibility of his death. He felt that little tug of relief too, but it was quickly replaced by fear as he saw the girl approach Sarah. She eyed her, biting down on her lower lip as her eyes lingered on Sarah's lips, or more precisely on the blood there. Her hand came up to caress Sarah cheek, and Sarah tried to turn away in disgust, feeling an alarming worry coming off of Dean and she let the girl turn her face back to her, spite flashing in Sarah's eyes along with fear.

No, she wasn't going to let Dean get hurt. But if they weren't punching him, they were hurting him emotionally by setting their hands on her, and he couldn't have that. He tried to talk, he tried to move, but all he managed was to tug at the chains a bit as the girl leaned into Sarah's face slowly, her lips coming so close to Sarah's. Sarah sucked in a breath and swore if the girl tried to kiss her, Sarah would bite her lip off.

But the girl hissed, baring her extra teeth at her and came close to lick Sarah's split lip, making the psychic freeze, eyes wide. How didn't she see it before? They mentioned beheading, the girl said Dean killed her family. They called him a hunter. Why would she just assume they were human?

_Noo, no, no..._ – Sarah's mind sobbed at her – _No, they... They couldn't be, no..._ She threw a glance at Dean, her breath hitching, her mind coming to the realization that they are going to die in there. _No, Dean... No..._ There was still some disbelief in her mind as she watched Dean's expression turned into sorrow as their eyes met. For the first time, she saw a tear slide down his cheek and she gasped at it.

„See that, Brian? See how it's done? Good job, Aisha." the elder vampire said. „You can practically smell that fear spreading through her vains, and it is going to make her blood taste so sweet..." He closed his eyes and licked his lips, bringing his head high as he was absorbing the scent, loving every ounce of the fear it bore.

„You should let Brian try too." Aisha said with a venomous smirk, her eyes never leaving Sarah's.

„Oh, Brain is going to get his turn. I will let him do what he does best." The punk-rocker responded, moving away from Dean and allowing Brian to come closer. Aisha rolled her eyes.

„You can't be serious, Billy! Throwing punches at the hunter isn't going to put fear in his bones."

Billy eyed Sarah and smiled when he replied „Not in his..." Aisha looked at the psychic and rolled her eyes again, clearly uncontent they were playing with her instead of the hunter, but at least Brian was good at what he did. With a scoff, she left the room and Billy followed.

Brian aproached the hunter, his face bearing nothing but pure anger, and the hunter looked at him, spite forming in his eyes. _That__'s it – _Dean thought – _Come get me. _In his mind, this was better. He would receive all the punches as long as they didn't lay a hand on Sarah. He endured 40 years in Hell, he could endure this too, at least until he comes up with something else, or sees a opening to act and save them.

All will be good as long as they don't touch her.

Brian's lips quirked just a bit as he got into Dean's face, but said nothing. The kid pulled back, and took a swing, the fist of his right hand connected with Dean's jaw, making the hunter's head snap to his right. His eyes met Sarah's once more, and bore comfort. He was saying _This was ok._

But it wasn't. It wasn't ok, Sarah was not ok with it. "Dean." Her voice came as a whisper, the pain of seeing him like this tore into her. But Dean just nodded slightly at her and then turned to the vampire, that oh-so familiar spite in his eyes flashing yet again.

"That the best you..." Dean tried, but didn't get a chance to finished as another fist slammed into his jaw.

"Dean." Sarah's pleading voice echoed in the room.

Brian sent another punch, this time into the hunter's gut, then twirled and kicked him on the side hard. Dean grunted in pain, not allowing himself to scream.

"Dean!" Sarah cried out.

Brian kept going, punching Dean in the face, in the gut, in the ribs, each time a punch landed, Sarah cried out Dean's name, more tears running down her face. Dean was covered in blood, bruised and face swollen. Brian threw one more punch to the hunters stomach, and Dean automatically slouched, if his hands weren't tied above him, he would have bent over from the force of the impact.

"Dean?!" Sarah's broken voice yelled after the hunter, the ache in her heart evident.

Brian gripped Dean by the hair and yanked his head backwards, exposing his neck and with a mad-man's look in his eyes, the bared his teeth and plunged him into Dean's neck, instantly breaking his skin. The wounds were large enough to let the blood flow down the hunters neck, even with Brian sucking upon them.

"Dean?!" Sarah screamed and tugged her chains hard, slicing her wrists on them.

Brian raised his head and looked at her, giving her a psychotic smile, his teeth and lips covered in blood, his eyes a few shades lighter, pupils dilated. He moved away from Dean, just a bit and sent another round of blows into the hunter.

"Dean!" Sarah yelled, her breathing picking up, as Brian's fist connected with the hunter's jaw once more.

"Dean!" Sarah cried out as Dean received another punch to the gut.

"Dean?!" She screamed as Brian kicked him in the ribs, clearly cracking a few.

"Deeeeaaann!" She yelled his name just as Brian's foot connected with Dean's shin, and even Dean had to cry out as the pain of a broken leg shot up to him.

Brain kicked him in the broken leg once more, the cracking sound filling the room and Sarah's panicked breathing reached the climax, she felt something inside of her breaking too, and she screamed, her voice morphing into a loud whine of a wounded animal.

She panted, her lower lip shaking, but her eyes were blank, staring somewhere in the distance. Brian laughed and moved over to her, gripping her chin, sinking his nails into her to move her face up and to meet her gaze. The vicious smile was whipped away by true fear that emerged in his eyes and Sarah screamed once more, feeling something explode inside her chest.

Blinding white light engulfed the room, and even though Dean heard her scream, he couldn't hold on anymore and he slipped away from the light into the darkness once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It can't be all unicorns and rainbows, right? Leave a comment, tell me what you think.


	12. Al right now, baby, it's all right now

Julia watched Sam nod with a small smile and turn to walk out of the Maintenance room, probably heeding her advice about resting. A part of her wanted to try and mend things between them, to try and say she was sorry for the way she reacted, but she could bring herself to say it. Whether it had something to do with the fact that she was still wary of a Winchester or that her rough personality wouldn't let her admit she was wrong, she didn't know. Nevertheless, it bothered her it was so. It bothered her that she couldn't take back her words, or her actions. But she could to the next best thing. She could help out by finding out more.

Julia looked around the maintenance room, eyeing the machinery. She didn't know much about how it all worked, but she knew they couldn't just generate power out of thin air. Seeing some pressure gauges and pipes heading outside, she figured there had to be a fuel tank that makes the generator work. It was probably outside to help with easier refilling. The huntress looked around the room some more, not finding much else of any interest. Spending a few minutes, attempting to contact someone via the radio and not getting any response, she quit trying and left the room.

Walking back into the storage room, she glanced first down the hall that led to the bedroom, some emotions flickering just for split second before they were gone and then she looked at the second exit door. Walking towards it, she kept looking through the window on the door, kept looking outside, kept hoping to see something other then the whiteness of the snow. She reached the door, eyes still fixed on that window and held her breath for a moment. Her hand reached out to the knob, but as soon as it made contact with the cold surface of it, Juls recoiled, breathing out and closing her eyes in some sort of defeat. After a minute or so, she turned around, opening her eyes only when she knew the door was out of sight and walked to the storage room.

She stood at the door-frame for a moment, her mind still elsewhere, and shook her head, wishing the thoughts away. Looking around, she spotted more boxes and walked over to them, her face blank and her motions monotonous, and despite her best efforts, her mind again drifting towards Sam.

Long ago she promised herself the only man in her life would be her father, no other. She locked her heart away, not letting anyone near, much less inside. She would play around, she would flirt her way though a hunt, or if she needed to vent, she would drag a man to her bedroom, no problem. But she would always wish them a good night and shove them out the door before the sun rose the following morning. She was self-sufficient, she didn't need anyone else in her life, she didn't want any attachments.

She didn't need the drama, she didn't need the headaches of a new relationship, she didn't need to fall in love and trust someone again only to be tormented and broken down by that person.A small skeptical frown flashed upon Sam's face as he made eye-contact with Julia, but she quickly averted her eyes, making Sam let out a silent sigh.

"You need any help?" Sam asked and Juls just shook her head. He looked so beat, so physically, but also emotionally tired and could clearly use a break. Besides, Julia is fine on her own, right? Always was and always will be. Right?

Julia just shook her head and looked back up at him, some softness in her eyes as she told him to go and get some rest, while she looks around more. He nodded, seeming content at doing just that and smiled at her before he turned and left. It was now Julia's turn to furrow her brows, maybe in slight confusion, as she felt her heart skip a beat at that smile of his. It was just one beat. Didn't mean anything. Could be a coincidence. Must be just the stress of the day and she was just imaging things. Yeah, that was it.

Moving on, Julia set the box with the sweaters aside and glanced at a few that had Christmas decorations inside of them, quickly shoving them aside. There were a few boxes with supplies for the laboratory and a few with office materials and supplies. She was about to set them all aside when a small, cardboard - clearly opened a lot of times – box caught her eye. She opened it and raised her brows at the content.

Chess, clue, battleship, scrabble, monopoly... Ok, this place was weird, definitely. But there was one thing amongst these board games that drew Julia's attention. Cards. She loved playing cards. Well, at least they won't be bored, maybe Sam liked to play too. If not she could teach him to play poker or Gin Rummy or...

"Arghh!" Julia groaned at her own thoughts. Instead of trying to figure a way out of there, she was thinking about Sam and stupid cards and "Arghh!" She threw the cards back in the box and shoved it aside, turning away from it. She would rather play solitaire then depend on Sam and possibly his brother to save them. She closed her eyes right after that though and sighed loudly. This was getting to be so hard.

Julia opened her eyes, feeling a bit frustrated and spotted the locker that contained the suits and some random keys. She knew one of those keys are used for snow scooters, she was familiar with it all. Staring at the locker for a minute or so, she contemplated about what she could or should do. Snapping out of that trance, in a few steps she was at the locker and before she knew it, she was fully dressed in a blue snow suit, a thick jacket, hat, gloves, the works. She sat on the floor to put on hiking shoes, glad that there was a suit and boots just her size.

She wasn't the type of a person to sit idly and wait to be rescued, she was never some damsel in distress, no. Besides, she already decided a while back she would go out and check the perimeter. Just a quick look-see. Just to see what's out there. OK, why was she convincing herself, why was she justifying this? Why was she overthinking this? Quickly she jumped up and bolted towards the door, towards the exit. Without a second thought she grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open.

Julia gasped when the cold air reached her, but she pushed forward, not wishing to chicken-out, and stepped out, letting the door shut behind her. For the next few minutes she just stood like that, staring into the vastness of white, blinking and breathing, not doing much of anything else, not even thinking. A cracking or a snapping sound, she wasn't sure, brought her out of her trance and she took a deep breath.

Around the corner was where the gas tank was supposed to be, so she headed in that direction. She spotted the yellow tank and approached it, all the while squinting her eyes at something in the distance. The could see there was something there, but could only see the outlines and not much else. It was so far away, and the snow too bright for her eyes. Julia glanced around, saw the tank and not a trace of the scooters, not that she really looked into it, she was too interested into whatever was out there.

Juls sucked in a breath and never loosing sight of what was in front of her, she started walking. And walking and walking towards it. Fifteen steps in, she stumbled from the depth of the snow, but kept walking. Another fifteen steps and she stumbled again. Another fifteen and she fell down, burring her face in the snow, but she wasn't going to stop now. Who knows what might be there. If DYE 3 was an abandoned station, maybe there was one nearby that was operational, that had people, that had a radio, something, anything.

The more she walked and the more she stumbled, the more her heart rate picked up, and there was more evident desperation in her eyes. Because the more she walked, the further away the facility seemed. She fell again, and she could feel she hurt her ankle from yet another fall, but she wouldn't stop. Five more steps and she fell, five more and she fell again. Five more and she lost her balance, her foot sunk up to her thigh in the snow. She started trashing around, trying hard to remove the snow around her, bury herself out of it, and the more she moved, the more panic started to set in. And the more she tried, the more see saw the futility of it. A small silent sob escaped her as her mind filled with thoughts of a definite death, and worst part? The worst part is that her father might never find out what happened to her. Her breath hitched and she let out a few more sobs, ready to give up, to surrender and she allowed her body to fall into the snow, curling around on itself.

Almost two hours later, this is where a very exhausted, barely standing on his feet, Sam would find her, nearly frozen to death. She didn't ever realize, but she walked almost three miles in one direction before she collapsed, the high of the adrenaline wearing off as fast as it came.

Sam himself was freezing, slowly losing hope he would ever find her, and a part of him considering that dying out here might not be the worst ending for him. Heck, if it wasn't for her right now, he would have no real reason to fight. His only regret would be not saying goodbye to Dean. But she was there, she was out there and if he found her alive, he would do whatever he could to get them both to safety, to get them both out of this mess.

On a verge of collapsing himself, Sam finally reached Julia and gasped at the sight of her. Up to that point his motions were slow, but the second he spotted her lying motionless in a pile of snow, he practically ran to her.

"Juls? Juls?!" He tried to reach her, not getting a sound out of her aside from some shallow breathing. His breath hitched as his hand came to cup her cheek, to reach to the neck and check for pulse, finding she is stone cold. Fear and worry spread upon his face, and his eyes darted her and around her. Sam could barely move, but still, he reached and pulled her out of the snow. He lifted her up in his arms, and even if his knees were threatening to give up on him, he took a step back towards the facility. If he lost her, he lost all hope.

A few steps in, he faltered, his left knee hurting like a son-of-a-bitch, but still, he took a breath and rose up, moving forward. He walked and walked, all the while carrying her and fighting to stay above the snow, hoping he could reach the facility in time. It was minus 20 degrees Celsius outside, and he was starting to feel the effects of hypothermia. But he wouldn't stop. He wouldn't give up. He was probably the reason she was in this mess, in there with him, and he couldn't let anything happen to her. He had to protect her.

Half way back, he was walking almost robotically, fighting to stay awake himself, gripping Julia tight as not to drop her when he stumbled and fell, burying both of them in snow. It was actually kinda nice, the snow. For some reason he was starting to feel hot, like he was working himself over with the walk and with the carrying and with thinking and… A thought of trying to cool himself off in the snow flashed in his mind*, but quickly dismissed it, focusing on Julia. He needed to save her.

With a grunt he lifted himself up on his feet and shouted out as a sharp pain shot up his left knee, but breathed in and out, focusing on the woman in his arms. _Just a few more steps_ he told himself. _Just a few more steps_ was the mantra he kept repeating, even if it was far more than just a few. Until it wasn't. He kept repeating it until it became true and he really was just a few steps away from the door.

Barely managing to open it while still holding Julia in his arms and trying so damn hard to ignore the pain that long ago spread from his knee to his hip and to his lower back, Sam stumbled inside and after shutting the door, he leaned on a wall, sighing in relief and just wanting to slide down and sit. But his struggle was not over yet.

Sam finally looked down at Julia; he was finally able to see her and to focus on her. She was still breathing, he knew that much. But her face was white, all color drained from her, if he didn't count the slight blue shade of her lips. Something inside of him cracked seeing her like this and he knew, if he lost her, he would break down completely. So he forced himself off of that wall and carried her to the bedroom. He felt so weak, but fought against it as he removed her jacket, suit and boots and quickly wrapped her in the sheets and blankets.

He stopped to observe her, sitting down on the ground next to the bed, but she still wasn't moving and Sam was worried it isn't going to be enough. Slowly, he got ip and walked, or more like staggered to the closet across the bedroom, remembering Juls said there were some extra blankets in there. He pulled them out, went back to her and wrapped them all around her, snuggling her in them. Barely keeping his own eyes open, he waited a few minutes and watched her sitting back on the ground next to the bed, but still, nothing happened.

He closed his eyes, but quickly opened them, knowing that if he kept them closed for just a while longer, he would drift off to sleep. How long had it been? How long was she unconscious? How long was she out there? Sam brought his eyes back on Julia and stared at her, looking over at every curve of her face, every small knick of a scar on her chin and cheeks, and even above her brows. That little pointed nose above those full lips that were still too blue for his liking. He sighed, concerned. Was there something else he could do? He looked up at the vents, there was heat blowing inside the room.

He reached out to touch her cheek again and sucked in a stuttering breath feeling she was still too cold. His lower lips trembled as his mouth remained open, his brows furrowed in great worry for her life. What else could he do? His hand moved to cup her face once more and just for a split second, it seemed like she leaned into that touch. Sam wasn't sure, was he imagining it? Her breaths were still shallow and she was still very much unconscious and unmoving. Maybe it was just a reflex? Her body moving in the direction of heat?

Sam left that hand on her cheek, and brought his gaze upon his other one. He too was cold, still in that snow suit, but his body temperature must have been a little higher. He stared at his hand for a few moments, thinking and then brought his gaze upon Julia once more. He sighed, but there was a spec of determination on his face as he got up off the ground.

As a hunter, he had a crash course in first-aid and survival training, and he remembered something Bobby told him when they were kids. He remembered reading about it when he was older, catching glimpses of Jess's textbooks. Sam walked over to the dresser and took off his snow suit, dumping it on the ground. He took off the rest of his clothes and placed it on the dresser neatly, leaving himself only in his boxers.

There was some evident embarrassment written in his features, but he pushed pass that and went over to Julia. As gently as possible, trying to keep her under the covers the whole time and also to look away, he took off her hoodie, her shirt and her sweatpants, leaving her in her underwear as well. He might get scolded, yelled upon, or maybe even receive a punch or two because of this, but he had to do it. And whatever she did to him afterwards would be okay as long as she makes it.

Shivering, Sam laid down next to her and rolled her to her side, facing away from him. He moved closer and gasped as his chest made contact with her ice-cold back, but he still pressed against her. He tucked in a hand under her and swung his other over her, embracing her into a warm and firm hug, placing his hands over her upper arms. Blushing like crazy, but welcoming the heat of feeling this embarrassed, he moved his lower half closer to her and brought his right knee between her thighs, wincing a bit in pain that shot throng his left one. He would later swing that right leg over hers, seeing as he couldn't move his other one.

Sam swallowed hard and pulled Julia even more closer, engulfing her in his own warmth, using his own body heat to warm her up, praying it would work.

Sometime after, he would hear her breathing become a bit more deeper and he would know she is getting better, she would make it. Relaxing just enough at that thought, his mind finally gave up, knowing she is close and she would be ok, and he allowed himself to drift off the a much needed sleep.

Sam wouldn't hear the rattling inside the vents a few hours later, and he wouldn't feel the room temperature slightly dropping with each passing minute. He wouldn't know that for some reason the generator stopped working and that all the lights went out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Paradoxal Undressing - People in the final stages of hypothermia engage in "paradoxical undressing" because, as they lose rationality and their nerves are damaged, they feel incredibly, irrationally hot. They strip off their clothes to cool themselves down as they are freezing to death. This is an actual phenomenon.


	13. See you again

Dean felt it when he hit the floor, but couldn't see a thing, blinded by a very bright light. One moment he was tied up with heavy chains and when he fell, he felt them falling with him, but he didn't feel them, nor hear them hit the ground. Just as the light diminished, he lifted his head up, and rose slowly with a heavy grunt to see what had happened. He was surprised to feel less pain then he expected. He grimaced feeling sharp pain rush up his leg, and he remembered the hit it took, it was most likely broken.

Finally opening his eyes, the first thing he spotted was Sarah on her hands and knees, panting and sobbing at the same time. They were both in the center of a small, superficial crater, the ground around them singed and the walls charted. In front of them was a pile of ash, probably Brian. Their clothes was slightly burned at places, but they both seemed unharmed by whatever hit.

The blast must have been focused, like group angel smiting, but it was different. It didn't destroy everything in its path only the vampire and the chains that held them. On top of that, Dean's wounds were sightly healed, he could feel that tingling sensation just under his skin, the one he felt any time Cas healed him. It wasn't 100%, his leg was still broken, but it was damn close. Could Jack have done this?

Dean didn't have time o ponder over this, hearing Sarah break into another loud sob, but not allowing herself to fall to the ground. Her hands shook as they held her body up, and she fought hard to lift herself up. Her eyes darted the room, lingering just a bit longer at the pile of ashes before her, before bringing her gaze to meet Dean's. There was pure fear in her expression, but a slight relief in her eyes when she spotted him. She breathed hard and a few tears escaped her, as she opened her mouth to say something, but immediately shut it, choosing instead to try and drag herself to Dean.

Dean also tried to move in her direction, his face all screwed up from the pain in his leg. and Sarah frowned, her eyes going down to his broken leg. If Dean payed attention, and watched her, he would have seen that the more she moved, the more determination crept up her expression, the more strength she seem to be mustering. She reached him and pulled him so he was leaning on her, her eyes now showing more concern along with that _what-the-hell-happened _expression. But she said nothing, probably seeing the same baffled expression on Dean's face. He might have had a few theories, but it was clear even he didn't know exactly what happened. Besides, she had other things on her mind.

Like finding out just how come Dean was moving after the beating he took.

She checked him over and he let her, more to ease her mind, because he knew he was hurt, but it wasn't as bad. He would definitely need a hospital for that broken leg, but aside from that, the bruises and cuts were already half healed. When her eyes finally met his, Dean's heart skipped a beat and he sucked in a breath, staring at her. His mind went completely blank aside from a vision of her, looming over him with her stunning deep blue eyes.

The moment was broken when there were shouts heard from somewhere deep in the building and Sarah's eyes were suddenly filled with terror once more as she muttered "Oh, shit. The others." Yeah, Brian might have been gone, but the rest of the vamps weren't. Sarah's head snapped at the door and then quickly back to Dean. It was the only door out of the room and Dean couldn't walk, much less hold off two vampires.

"Ok, all right. All right." Sarah muttered again, this time more to herself in a form of a self-encouraging and she mildly pushed Dean just so that she could get up and then reached and helped him to his feet. Or well, foot. Dean knew he would have to walk, skipping on one foot if they were going to get out of there, and he was glad she offered herself for support. He could only pray the vamps weren't going to catch up. Sarah took his hand and swung it around her neck, allowing him to lean on her and her hand grabbed his waist to steady him.

One thought kept bugging Dean, nothing alarming, just weird. Sarah was clearly scared out of her mind, but she was pushing her own limits, forcing herself to move and to help them both out of this mess. All things considering she was doing pretty well.

She opened the door and pulled Dean through them, all the while he was holding back, bitting down on his lower lip to stop himself from shouting in pain. The only sound was of him grunting and Sarah picked a direction and lead them there. Around the corner the hallway parted in two ways, but they got lucky seeing a dart pointing to the Exit. When they were halfway down that hall, the door opposite swung open with a loud bang and Dean's head snapped back to see two very pissed off vampires. Shit.

Sarah heard them too, gasped and tensed, but kept pushing them forward, and Dean bit back a shout when the pain in his leg got worse from all the motion. However he couldn't hold back a painful snarl when they reached the door and Sarah practically kicked them open. They stumbled out to find themselves in the backyard of the abandoned factory. But the only thing over the fence was the ocean.

"There!" Sarah yelled, pointing in the direction of the two cars in the parking lot. A nice blue 69 Camaro SS and a bright red 70 Ford Mustang were just sitting there, like they were waiting just for them. Quickly making a decision, Sarah pulled Dean towards the Camaro and prompted him against the right side of the car.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked through his teeth, holding back a shout, only grunting as he moved.

"What does it look like?!" Sarah yelled, maybe a bit harshly, but definitely consumed with panic. She opened the passenger door and helped Dean inside as fast as she could when the doors swung open and Billy and Aisha charged at growled as another jolt of pain shout up to his leg and he looked down, seeing the wound was bleeding intensively. Whatever healed him hasn't quite finished the job and him using the leg, running from the vamps hasn't helped either. Gritting his teeth, Dean picked up a shirt that laid in the car and wrapped it, bringing it to his leg and applying pressure on the wound. The car was just a bit too tight for his liking, and he was having a hard time arranging his leg to slow the bleeding.

"Oh, crap!" was Sarah's reaction as her face drew even more pale, noticing all the blood when she entered the car. Dean glanced at her with a look that said '_It is gonna be ok.'_, hoping she can disregard him and focus on the driving. And as his eyes wondered down, back to his leg, he caught a glimpse of the car's dashboard.

"Oh, shit." was Dean's reaction when he saw the so-called stick. The car was a manual and it had a gearshift, but that fact didn't seem to faze Sarah. A small sigh of relief escaped her as she reached under the driving wheel and felt the keys in the ignition. The engine purred as she started the car and she grabbed that stick and pulled it towards her, then pushed it forward, putting the car in the reverse. Dean was slightly amazed by the way she was handling the car, and made a mental note that he shouldn't assume that a girl can't drive a stick.

Still, as calculated as her movements seem to be, Sarah was having a full blown panic attack that she was trying so damn hard to get a control over. She reversed the car and skid just past the vamps, and Aisha was able to slam her open palm against the back door, clenching it to leave a deep claw mark before she stomped furiously and turned to Billy. Dean watched with a deep frown as Aisha jumped into the Mustang that barely stopped to pick her up, before it was tailing them.

"Sonofabitch." He muttered and looked at Sarah. The girl was trying so hard to steady her breaths, muttering something in her chin as her eyes were fixed on the road, her hands extended in front of her, clutching the wheel. When she heard him curse, without moving, she glanced in the rear-view mirror and sucked in a breath.

The red Mustang was right behind them, catching up fast. Dean didn't think it was possible, but Sarah went even paler, her eyes wide and fearful, and her breaths sort and erratic. For a second she seemed like she was going to faint, and Dean knew he had to do something. But what? He couldn't take over, he couldn't drive with his bust up leg. No, Sarah was going to have to do this. But she needed help, she needed reassurance. So Dean placed his hand over hers and squeezed, and when she glanced his way, he made sure all she saw was comfort and assurance that she can pull this off.

"You can do this. I am right here, I will guide you. Just put the pedal to the metal. You got this." He said nodding at her, a small smile of a promising pride tugging at his lips. Yeah, she got this.

Sarah frowned, but nodded as her eyes darted the road ahead of them. She took in every little thing out there, all the while trying to take deep calming breaths and trying to relax as much as possible. "Yeah... Yeah, all right. I... I got this. Yeah, I got... Just like uncle Dom thought me... Ok... Al right..." The more she spoke, the more tightly she gripped the wheel, and the more gas she applied. The Mustang was just about to try and surpass them when she accelerated and Dean smiled, looking back at the red car falling behind.

Dean turned forward and instantly felt a bit woozy, probably from the sudden turn and definitely not because of all the blood loss as the dark red liquid pooled just under his seat. He tried his best to ignore it along with the pain and looked around. They were driving in a marine, just next to the ocean. He opened his mouth to try and tell Sarah where to go, but she seemed to have an idea of her own.

Dean jerked and winced in pain as the car suddenly slowed down, Sarah applying both the brake and shifting into a lower gear, all the while her eyes darting everywhere, from the road ahead of them, to the buildings to their left to the car that was again catching up. She swung the wheel and as soon as the car started turning to the left, she pressed the gas pedal again, dashing through the alley between two buildings. Unfortunately the Mustang followed, bumping his rear in the side of the building trying to make that turn.

The hunter was at a loss for words. Sarah still seemed scared out of her mind but she kept breathing and repeating to herself "Ok, all right. I got this." Dean had no idea who was the guy that gave this girl driving lessons, but he was glad someone taught her. But he didn't have much time to dwell upon that, between the pain and the blood loss, and the two blood thirsty vamps that were after them, Dean just focused on the road and the turns Sarah was taking, trying to anticipate the next one and not having the motions of the car toss him and his broken leg all over the place. And even that was getting harder by the minute.

"Oh." Dean heard Sarah say and followed her gaze to the empty parking lot in front of them that was currently undergoing a reconstruction of sorts. There was a small smile of possible idea on Sarah's face and he watched her eyes dart all over the road ahead as if she was actually calculating speed, distance, whatever. What the hell was she planning?

She accelerated putting the car in the higher gear and glanced at the rear view mirror, making sure the Mustang was still following. She was heading straight for the patch of the parking that was looking over the ocean, and conveniently had no fence. Dean's face went slightly pale, probably from the loss of all the blood, certainly not from a fear of a possible drowning. He had enough of that with Michael. The closer they got to the edge of the parking lot, the more Dean's heart was pounding, but when he looked at Sarah, she seemed determined. Not calm, but confident into her own decision. And Dean wasn't sure if he could trust that.

But before he could react, she suddenly jerked the wheel to the left, just a few feet away from the edge and pressed down on the gas pedal hard. The car started to skid a bit and she released the gas pedal, pushing down on the clutch and reaching to pull the hand brake. The car shook, the back of it started to swing to the left and it seemed like that rear part of the car had a mind of its own. Sarah quickly turned the wheel all the way, opposite, to her right, making the back of the car skid more and drift , and Dean could feel her release the clutch and dose the gas so that they're not thrown out of the curve.

A second later, the car came to a stop standing opposite then when it was racing towards the ocean, and Sarah watched as two confused vampires glared at her and screamed when they realized where they were headed. Billy obviously tried to stop the car and to change their course, but only managed to wobble the speeding car as it flew out of that edge and straight into the ocean.

Sarah was breathing fast, but there was some clear relief tugging at her lips, making her huff a smile and she said "I... I did it? I... I did it? I did, it, Dean, I... Dean? Dean?!" Her face drew serious fast as she laid her eyes on a very pale and a very unconscious hunter.

"Oh, no, no... Dean!" She tried to shake him, to wake him up, and his hand slid off of his leg, no longer holding the pressure there and she gasped at the sight of all the blood. This was bad, this was really bad. Before she knew it Sarah was putting the car into the first gear and dashing off towards the nearest hospital.

* * *

The closest hospital just had to be Jackson Memorial, the one Sarah used to work. Everyone gave her side glances as she brought in a man with a broken leg and severe blood loss. They kept asking her what happened, but she kept her mouth shut and simply said she found him like this. When they asked her his name, she said she didn't know, and they haven't found any ID on him. So John Doe it is.

They rolled their eyes when they fixed him up and brought him to his room, only to find her there, waiting. The staff knew her well, the weirdo that always got too attached to the patients. She wasn't there long, just a nurse intern, but even that was long enough for everyone to start viewing her as a freak. And even though each of her claims about a certain patient and his illness was correct, whether it was good or bad news, they were all wary of her and her abilities, though some thought she was faking it. Even accused her of tampering with the patients and their medication, but nothing was ever proven. She couldn't take the looks and finally, after an incident, she decided enough was enough. Her adoptive father was furious, and tried to talk to the chief, but the truth was, everyone was relieved to see her go.

Sometimes she thought he only wanted her here so that he could keep a watchful eye over her.

And as she sat by Dean's side Sarah found herself pondering over what DocZ might say if he was here to see her. No doubt he would be pissed, but in his typical cold way. She looked at the hunter ahead of her, feeling strange. The panic from the events of the day and night subsided and she felt all energy drained from her. Sitting next to his bed, she set her arm next to him and laid her head on it, turning it so that she could watch him.

It has been over a day now, almost day and a half since he stumbled in her home, but it felt like a life time ago. She still remembered how she hit him with the pan and huffed a small laugh at the irony of the current situation. Still, being psychic aside, she felt like she knew him. Like she knew him all of her life. And even his name, the one she kept a secret, even that was familiar. It kept drawing her back to the part of her life she wished she could forget.

The time when the voices in her head intensified, sometimes being so loud all she could do is scream, covering her ears as if it would help. DocZ was always there, the only time he actually showed concern, but even then he was a bit wary and distant. Sometimes it looked like he could hear the voices too.

But none of it was relevant right now. Sarah found herself drifting off to sleep, and welcoming the darkness that kept around her, finally able to relax just a bit. She was all right, she was safe and most importantly – Dean Winchester is saved too.

Except Dean Winchester wasn't saved, not from the darkness that was currently drowning him in his own sleep as he tried so hard to stay above the water level and all the while shouting his brothers name, feeling desperately scared and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *If you type in 'see you again', the title of this chapter on youtube, you are gonna find a song that relates to Sarah's Uncle Dom.
> 
> **Special thanks to my friend Floyd who helped me out with the car drift maneuver.
> 
> *** Anyone catch that early seasons reference? What is it?


	14. Broken beyond repair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys had a very Merry Christmas ヾ(˙❥˙)ﾉ
> 
> WARNING: Chapter contains graphic description of violence and torture. Mentions of rape and suicidal thoughts.

Julia groaned as she awoke in the darkness, her whole body ached. Still half under, she tried hard to push her consciousness to rise up and take the helm. Everything hurt, even her eyes, and then a specific smell reached her, a smell that confused her. Was that blood and rotten flesh mixed into the stale air she was feeling?

A splitting pain shot through her head, and she moved her hand to try and rub it when she found her hands to be restrained, propped above her head. A sudden alertness mixed with slight fear washed over her, and her eyes snapped open. Not that she could see anything in the total darkness, but still, she tugged her hands downward and all she got was the rattle of chains.

_Ok, calm dawn, calm the fuck down... You're a hunter, not some helpless victim..._ Julia thought to herself, breathing in and out slowly, willing herself to calm. She has been in similar situations before, like when she was taken by a djinn. She managed to escape then, she will escape now. She had one advantage working for her already, she was perceived as a weak woman, a victim and the bad guys mostly underestimated her.

_Tap_

_Tap_

There was a noise, footsteps in the distance that were definitely approaching.

_Tap_

_Tap_

They were nearing the room she was in, and Julia steadied her breathing, the anticipation inside of her growing more restless with each passing second.

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Ta-_

The footsteps ceased somewhere very near and then, a sound of the door knob turning broke the silence of the room. A faint light from the hallway filled the room, and Julia watched, breathless as a dark figure stepped into the view. It seemed to pause at the door, frozen in place for a full minute before it started to move, lifting it's hand above its waist line.

Julia blinked, the sudden light blinding her for a moment, and she squinted her eyes, her look locked on the figure, no, the man that entered the room and brought forth the light. He seemed familiar, Julia just couldn't focus straight away to recognize who it was. And as the figure walked slowly towards her, the sight of short and spiky brown hair became clear, along with those hazel eyes she gazed in so many times before.

"J..Jake?" Julia asked with a coarse voice, not really sure if it was in fact her man that was before her. Jake stared at her, his face completely stripped of any emotion, like he was nothing more than a husk, an empty shell, and then lifted his hand up. The woman sucked in a breath at the motion, but still warily leaned in when his hand caressed her cheek.

No emotion, not a single one could be seen in Jake's expression as he took a few minutes to just stand there, his hand never parting her face, soothing her and providing some comfort. All the while, Julia observed him, scared, her eyes pleading, begging for anything, to see some recognition in his eyes, to see Jake, to hope… And it felt like someone pressed a knife onto her chest and pushed in painfully slow, all the while jouncing it, causing as much pain and bloodshed as possible. And it was as painfully slow as it was to see his lips, like in slow motion, curling into such an unfamiliar crooked smile as he blinked his eyes black.

"No…no…no…" Julia barely managed through a sob, already half broken with just the sight of the man she loved possessed by a demon, a monster she knew she couldn't fight. After all, demons weren't as tangible as vampires or werewolves. There were twisted souls walking the Earth using whoever they wanted as a carrier. There were parasites that would leach upon a human being and take over, rendering the person powerless. And then they would rub it in.

"Oh… What's a matter Little Red Riding Hood? – the demon mocked, his hand still caressing her face – did the Big Bad Wolf scare you?" Much to his own pleasure, Julia tried to jerk away, but he managed to hold that hand on her cheek and hissed at her, the sound bearing a warning. The huntress stilled, her eyes already tearing up, but no tears fell yet, no, she wouldn't let them. The demon traced his fingers up her cheek and over her eyelid as she closed it before contact and tilted his head, seriousness creeping back on his face.

"My, my… What big eyes you have…" He said, his voice taking on just a slightly playful tone. He ran his finger over her eyelid a few times, and Julia tried to jerk away again, this time being stopped by a warning growl. Her motions let a few strings of her hair loose and the demon went to tuck it back in behind her ear, ever so slowly.

"My, my… What big ears you have…" He purred, running his finger over her earlobe. Julia's entire body shivered with disgust and she wanted so badly to snap toward that hand and bite off that finger, but whenever she would look at the demon, all she could see is her Jake. He… He might still be alive in there. What is it doing to him to see her like this?

The demon paid her no mind, even though the look in her eyes spoke volumes and he slowly moved his hand down her neck, under her jaw line, and finally reaching over her full lips. And as he almost lustfully ran his finger over them, his tongue went to lick his own lips and he spoke "My… My…"

"What big lips you've got…"

Julia couldn't take it anymore, she felt disgusted by his words, by his touch and anger washed over her as she glared at the demon. She swallowed and sucked, pooling the spit in her mouth before she sent it straight at the demons face. The smug bastard actually looked surprised for a mere moment before he started laughing, the sound so foreign to Julia. No, her Jake would never laugh like that, the viciousness mixed in with amusement and clear haughtiness his laughter bore… That is one of the sounds that would forever haunt her.

Four days flew by like a bad memory, each hour worse than the one before, each day spent with more dread of what new idea the demon would have. He was already starving her, letting her live solely on the cold water he would splash her with and she hoped to catch a few drop of it, and on the semen he made her swallow. The bastard debated to add salt in the water so that it would sting and burn her wounds, but eventually though against it, probably cuz it would interfere with him as well.

Speaking of, next to making deep gashes all over her body, focusing mostly on the most tender regions, he also had a thing for fire and he just loved burning her thighs as she screamed that lovely tune that made his black heart flutter.

And on the fourth day… On the fourth day God created the sun, separated the night from the day, darkness from the light. And on the fourth day, Julia's life was extinguished, completely plunged into darkness. On the fourth day, wearing the wildest grin she had no strength to see, the demon crosses.

The demon wearing her beloved Jake's face made a deep slash from between her breasts all the way down under her belly button, and then another from on hip to the other. Making a reverse cross, he closed his eyes, enjoying those beautiful sounds of Julia's coarse screams and sobs and reached his hands inside of her.

Julia was strong, too strong for her own good and she held her own, held it for as long as it would take, not letting him have the satisfaction of hearing her beg. She wouldn't beg. Not for her life, not for him to stop, not for mercy, not for death. But there was one thing she would beg for.

"No,no,no…No…NO…NO! Please,no… Please God no… Stop, please just… Just stop… Just… End it, end it now, just stop…" Her voice broke throughout her plea and she wished so hard she could just close her eyes and pretend it wasn't happening, it wasn't real. She wished so hard, she could close her eyes and not watch him reach into her, cutting her insights and jerking out…

Oh, God… A week ago she was so happy. Who knew a stick drenched in urine could make someone so happy? And she wasn't nearly as thrilled as her beloved Jake was. They were expecting. They were planning a life together, they were planning on raising a family.

And now?

Every bit of hope she ever had got torn out of her when the demon's bloodied hands pulled out…

Julia woke with a silent gasp and her eyes snapped open. This wasn't the first of these nightmares/flashbacks, and it certainly wouldn't be the last one. Julia closed her eyes, steadying herself and plucking the memory, shoving it into a box and pushing it deep down. That was over ten years ago, and she knew it would haunt her till the day she died. It never hurt any less, the pain never subdued, but the nightmares did get a bit more easier to handle. Julia sighed and kept her eyes closed for a few more moments, trying hard to thug herself away from all thoughts that involved that part of her life. _Focus on here, focus on now._

A small shiver went down her spine when her eyes opened again and there was nothing but darkness out there. But there was some strange warmth around her and as soon as she shivered, the arms that were around her tightened just for a second before relaxing again. She was facing the wall and there was something behind her, leaning on her back and extending all around her. A frown broke over Julia's face, utter confusion washing over her. What was happening? Where was she?

Normally, Julia would jump out of whatever bed she was and try to find out, try to see what was happening. But this time, she found that her whole body was sore, and that even if she could, she would barely be able to move. Besides, the embrace was so warm and cozy and it made her want to drift off to sleep once again…

No! Wait… She was outside. She was running in the snow, trying to get out of the station she felt trapped in, trying to reach the other building she saw in the distance. And then she fell and fell again and again and… Sam! He was calling out to her, she remembered hearing his panicked voice, but she was so cold, curled up around herself and just… Drifting away. Like it would be such a bad thing? To just drift away into nothingness?

Julia closed her eyes again, shoving more of those bad thoughts that just keep spilling out of that damn box. _Focus. Here. Now._

Ok. So if she was out there, freezing to death, Sam must have found her and brought her back and… _Oh. Right… Well this is… OK._ Julia wasn't really freaking out, but she did feel awkward. She knew why this was happening, why they were naked and why he was curled up around her. Sam… He actually pulled her in and tried his hardest to warm her up and save her and… After the way she treated him and went off on him and… A part of her felt terrible, she felt like shit. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to witness her freaking out and to have to deal with… She really hated herself sometimes. And then. Then there was another part of her. Another part that too felt like shit.

Because his hug was so warm and his embrace felt so… Safe. Julia closed her eyes again, trying hard to keep in the tears she felt filling her eyes. Why does he have to be like this? Why does he have to be such a good guy? After what she said to him, after what she did, every stupid move she made and still… He pulled her in and did this just to save her. Sure, a part of it was in his blood, a hunter that he was, saving people, it was what they did. But this…

Why did it feel this good, why did it feel so… Safe? Julia hasn't felt like this since… Since she last saw Jake, her Jake and not the demon wearing his face. His arms felt so soft and so warm and she just wanted to… drift away and get lost in this feeling. Like being engulfed in a cloud, close to the sun and just… fall into the eternal slumber. It was so perfectly calm, the darkness around her not scaring her for the first time in a long, long time, and just the thought of feeling like this, back in someone's arms… _Focus!_

Julia curled inward more than she already was, pulling her head down too, and felt his embrace tighten at her motion once more, only for a second before relaxing. It was like he was subconsciously trying to assure her he was there and she was… safe. His breathing was rather even, if not a bit shallow, suggesting her was asleep and she was glad it was so. She had no idea how she was going to face him. Both metaphorically and literally. Maybe she doesn't have to, maybe she could just back away a bit and let her lower back touch… _Focus!_

"Sa,,," Julia tried, her voice way too coarse to form a complete word. She tried to clear her throat, but found it incredibly dry and she had to swallow a few times. She heard a sound coming from him, a murmur, but he seemed to be asleep still. Moving under his arms didn't help much, his hug tightened again and that was all he did.

Julia reached her hand and ran it over the part of his arm she could reach, feeling just how soft his skin is and how his muscles were firm and… "Saam?" She tried again, this time her voice but a whisper, like she wasn't really sure if she should wake him. Her hand went up and down his arm, caressing it and giving him a nudge at the same time.

"Sam?" She tried once more, this time with a bit more determination. As much as it felt good to be here, now, Julia couldn't shake the feeling that something just wasn't right. She thought it had something to do with her or with him, she wasn't sure what it was, but the more she came to, the more her thoughts became clear, the more evident it was that there was definitely something wrong.

"Mmm…" He grumbled in his sleep, and his hands clasped around her forearms, rubbing up and down as if he was trying to warm her up. There was a small grunt when she felt him move his knee from between her legs and his leg went up on top of hers, trying to heat up that part of her.

Julia sighed, feeling a pang in her chest at his motions. Damnit, why does he have to be like this? "Saaam?!" She tried a bit louder wanting him to stop. Stop protecting her, stop trying to warm her up, stop trying to help her. She didn't deserve it, she didn't deserve any of it. She didn't deserve to be rescued, not after the stunt she pulled. She didn't deserve to have him humiliate himself just to warm her up, not after she already humiliated him by throwing him on the ground. She didn't deserve to be saved. Not when she couldn't save…

And there it was, that old memory, resurfacing again. Just when she thought she got the hang of it, just when she thought it was just that easy to push it down and forget about it. "Sam?" Julia tried again, focusing on the present. She needed to wake him, she needed to know he was ok too and she needed to… Apologize.

"Mmm… Yea…" Sam responded still half asleep, not moving and not letting her go. She figured he was still under, still drifting between the real world and the dream land.

"Why are we naked again?" Julia teased, a part of her knowing that should be enough to jolt him awake, to bring him forth and probably make him blush again. Oh, how she wished she could see him blush. He was so cute when he did that.

"Oh... I, um..." Sam started, tripping over his own words, loosening his hug and he started to pull his hands back. Not really knowing why, Julia's hands clasped over his biceps, pressed against his arms, trying to keep them in place, and Sam stilled his motion. It was weird, it was awkward, but yet somehow pleasant and... well... Nice. So both stayed like that, in complete silence for a few minutes, neither one moving, neither one speaking, just... Enjoying the moment.

"You... You feel ok?" Sam was the one to break the moment, and Julia wasn't sure if it was just concern or was he starting to get uncomfortable with the situation.

"Yeah, a bit sore and weak, but... Good... - Julia fell silent for a moment and then added – Thank you, Sam."

The hunter just let out a breath and didn't say a word about it. She could hear him breathing and just for a few more minutes they stayed silent. She didn't know why, and she didn't really care why, but she wished they could stay like this a while longer, even though she knew he will be pulling back soon. However, she did not expect the question Sam offered.

"Why is it dark in here?" He asked, more like he was questioning himself, trying to remember if it was him who turned the lights off. He moved, unwrapping himself from Julia and threw the covers, exposing his body to the chillness of the room. "What the..." He started and reached for the battery he left on the nightstand, and turned it on to see where his clothes were.

Julia too moved to get up, slowly, and grunting as her whole body ached, but Sam stopped her. "No, no, you go back to bed. You are still weak and... I … I will be right back, I am just gonna go check the generators." Julia had no strength to argue, and she fell back on the bed, wrapping herself up in the covers and blankets, already feeling the loss of the warmth of Sam's body.

He wasn't back straight away, by Julia's accounts, he had been gone for half an hour. When he did stumble back into the room, clearly without managing to power up the generator, there was an apologetic tone to his already deeply worried shaky voice. "I... I... Can't... Get... It... Running..." He said chittering his teeth. The small light if the battery was toning down as well, it too clearly running out of power.

Julia extended her hand towards Sam. "Come here." She said, her breath visible to both of them. "Stay with me." She said, her voice low, her eyes watery. Sam looked at the extended hand and let out a heavy breath.

This could have been it. Nothing short of a miracle could save them now, but Sam stopped believing in miracles a long time ago, because he knew they always came with a price. And at the end of the day, would it be so bad? Go just drift away while in bed with a woman in your arms?

It hurt, it hurt that he couldn't at least save her, but she seemed to already make her pease with it. Sam stared at that extended hand, still holding hope that something might turn up, or that he might remember something. But deep down he knew. He couldn't fix the generator, the room was already too cold and there was no indication that if they went to sleep again, they would ever wake up.

"Please." Julia's shaky voice whispered to him, her hand still extended mid air. So he took it. He took her hand and climbed back in the bed, removing the sweats he pulled on before. They bodies intertwined once again,their arms around one another, rubbing at the skin, trying to keep warm. Their shaky breaths were the only thing that kept the silence at Bay, the now barely visible light of the battery keeping the last ounce of hope.

And once that ounce of hope extinguished too, slowly and peacefully, they both drifted away into slumber, still holding one another in a warming embrace.


	15. Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Depictions of torture and suicidal thoughts.

Dean barely managed to draw in a small breath before he was submerged again, invisible force pullig him down under, far from the water surface. Sometimes he would let it drag him down, only for a few seconds, only enough to allow him to summon more strenght to fight it and to resurface again.

And that wasn't the worst part. No, the worst part was that it was pitch black out there, nothing in sight, no hope, no nothing. Just an empty void of darkness, stipped of all the colors of the world and of all the sounds except for Dean's panicked gasps for air and the sturing of the water around him.

But Dean wouldn't stop fighting. No, each time he was pulled down, each time he would tug himself away from the force and the would resurface, taking in all the air he could as his lungs burned. Each time he would fight to stay above, calling out to his brother that was never there.

Dean couldn't really blame him, not on every occasion. But bottom line... Sam hasn't saved him. He hasn't been there for him, not like Dean was there for his little brother. Sam never got him out of Hell, Sam never looked for him when Dean was in Purgatory and Sam never saved him from the drowning. Oh, no, scratch that. Sam did save him from living his dream of owning a bar and having an awesome partner like Pamela. And even then, Dean had to do most of the work.

But Dean couldn't complain. He was his brother's keeper, he would do anything for the kid. He was his protector and he wasn't meant to be save by him... Still, it hurt, it hurt like a sonofabitch that everytime Dean called out his brother's name, Sam just wasn't there...

"Saaaam!" Dean tried again, his voice echoing through the vastness of nothing.

"Saaaam!" Dean tried again, his voice gurgling with the water slowly filling his lungs.

"Sammy, please!?" Dean tried once more, the silence that responded mocked him as he was once again dragged down.

"Saaaam!"

"Casss!"

"Caaaas, please!"

"Somebody! Anybody!"

"Help me, please!"

"Dad!"

"Dad, please!"

"Bobby, Bobby, help me!"

"Anybooooody?!"

"Please!"

"Mom!"

"Mooom!

"Mommy?!"

"Somebody please help me!"

"PLEASE!"

Dean didn't know how long it has been, nor how did he have the strength to keep fighting it anymore. Sam was out there, he was lost, and Dean knew it was up to him to find him and save him. So he fought back, fought back with everything he had for what seemed like forever. Well, not forever. Maybe thirty years.

The more he fought, normally, the less strength he had to keep fighting, less motivation. He can't help Sam. Not when he can't even help himself. Not when he is so weak and useless that he can't even fight off a couple of vampires. Not when he can't even protect a single civilian for being chained up and forced to watch him getting beat up.

Dean didn't even notice when the water covering his pale face became just a tad salty from the unseen tears that streaked down his face. Not only was he a disappointment to the whole hunting community, and most likely to his father too, but he also pulled in an innocent into this dangerous world and she could have gotten hurt, she could have wound up dead, and it would be on him.

He truly was nothing.

"Sam… Sammy…" Dean called out, his voice a lot less hopeful.

"Please…" He called out his voice breaking with a sob.

"Somebody… Anybody…" He called out, his voice low, his tone flat.

"Please…" the plea came out as a broken whisper and Dean closed his tear-filled eyes, closed them heavily and took one last deep breath.

It was no use. No one would come. And he didn't have the strength to fight anymore. So he just let himself be pulled down, and down, his mind swimming around, intoxicated with a lack of oxygen. His thoughts became slow, the images like slow motion, dancing in front of his eyes.

Dean Winchester had many regrets.

And somehow, his biggest one was that Sarah would be left alone, and would be left to blame herself and always question if she could have done more. An image of her smiling back in that restaurant came to focus, and he clung onto it, as it slowly faded away along with his mind.

He remembers the fullness of her lips, the sway of her ponytail. Her piercing blue eyes that held all the light of the world. Her hand on his, as she reached out to him, but quickly pulled away, smiling sheepishly at him. Her hand on his, as she reached out to him, a spark igniting in her eyes, her whole face brightening up. Her hand on his. as she reached out to him, smiling and enlightening the darkness around him. Her hand on his, as she reached out to him, and pulled him up, pulled him above the surface of the water and holding him there, not letting him sink back down.

Dean gasped for air so hard, his lungs felt, not like on fire, but rather that they have been completely incinerated.

And there she was, smiling brightly at him, holding his hand while both just drifted in the water. Whatever was trying to pull him under was suddenly gone and with it Dean's fear as well. Despite the fact that he was still in the water, he felt safe. He felt warmth and suddenly, the darkness around them dissolved and Dean squinted his eyes at the bright light of the summer sun. He looked around while still trying to maintain his focus on Sarah and noticed they were now drifting in a peaceful ocean. The smell of sea hit him, it felt so real. Salty. There were sounds of the slow waves and seagulls somewhere above them, but Dean kept his gaze upon Sarah, staring at her with confusion and disbelief.

Was she really there, or was she a part of his dream?

Sarah just kept smiling brightly at him, her smile a bit mesmerizing, soft and gentle. The pony tail was still there, it's ends wet from the water. Her eyes were as bright as the ocean, gazing deep into his, erasing all the worry he had, all the pain and fear, dispersing it into thin air. Dean wished he could just get lost in those beautiful blue orbs, lulled and loved and safe.

Some disturbance in the water made the waves just a tad bit higher and made Dean drift just a tad bit closer to Sarah. Her eyes widened just a smidge, barely noticeable and it encouraged Dean to let the waves move him closer. He could hear her take in a breath and holding in, sweet anticipation in her eyes and he moved closer again. Their eyes were locked on the others until their lips touched, and there were actual butterflies around them that neither seemed to notice.

Dean felt that amazing blissful feeling of a first kiss, it seemed so real, just like her, just like her shoulder he set his hand on as the kiss deepened, tender and soft. Dean finally pulled away, from what he thought was too soon, but scared he was freaking Sarah out. Her lips curled into another warm smile and she actually blushed, making Dean return the smile, his worry swept away with the feeling of being in love.

And then there was some commotion to their right, some voices were heard and it was like the beach was approaching them. Dreams, go figure. There was a brunette lying on a sunbed, her head propped up, laughing. There was a tall guy with shaggy hair running around… No, wait, it was Sam. Sam was running around chasing… Two kids? No, not just two kids, two twins, two boys that looked a lot like him when he was a kid. Dean was confused, but smiled at the sight nonetheless, especially when he heard them giggle at Sam's tripping and burring his head in the sand like an ostrich. The more he watched them, the more he smiled at the sigh, enjoying what he was seeing.

Suddenly, there was a voice, a little girl's voice and Dean looked up and saw a beautiful little girl, with dirty blond hair and green eyes, his green eyes. And she was waving at him and calling out to him excitedly.

"Daddy! Daddy! Come look at the sand castle I made!" And Dean's heart filled with even more joy, and he sucked in a breath feeling his heart was about to explode from all the happiness, feeling more salty tears trace down his face. Not in his wildest dreams was this plausible. Not in a million years would they get to have that. And he shifted his confused gaze back at Sam and saw him smiling at him and everything just felt better.

Next to him, Sarah released Dean's hand, the hand he didn't even notice she was holding and rose up. They were up to their necks in water, but it was shallow and when Sarah stood up, the water got just above her knees. Dean looked up at her and saw her smile at him before she turned her gaze to her neon yellow bikini with a white outline and frowned at it a bit, like she didn't like it.

In an instant, it changed into a neon pink color, checkered with white and with a black outline and she nodded at it before she turned to look back at Dean.

"Much better." She said, and Dean didn't know if it was him who altered it or was it her, but he liked it on her a lot better too. The color was perfect compared to her pale tan, the style of it flattering her figure. He watched her walk away from him, and felt a tinny jolt when his eyes slid from her shoulders, over her waist and down to… The bottom part of the bikini. And Dean actually blushed, confused as why he was feeling so embarrassed all of a sudden.

Sarah reached the little girl and took her hand in hers as she turned to Dean again.

"Come daddy. Let's see what our little girl made." Sarah called out, and like he was under a spell, Dean rose to his feet, white trunks with red hearts dripping off the excess water and he started walking towards them, smiling all the way. Once he reached them, still gazing in Sarah's eyes, he took his daughter's other hand in his and replied:

"Let's go and have a look."

* * *

Sarah woke a bit startled and lifted her head off of Dean's bed. She was sitting in a chair, leaning forward and apparently fell asleep, her hands curled up under her hear in a makeshift pillow. She brought Dean in late last night, and ignored the looks her former co-workers were giving her, though she did have to admit, bringing in a John Doe and refusing to leave his side was strange, even by her standards. Still, them she could ignore. What she dreaded was facing DocZ, as she was sure he heard about this and was on his way. She really should try to call him again.

Sitting up straight in the uncomfortable chair, she stretched out a bit and yawned, covering her mouth as she did. She turned her gaze upon the hunter and was pleased to see some of his color returning, the paleness dissolving from the blood transfusion. Speaking of… Sarah slowly stood up, and as she circled the bed, she rubbed at her sore neck, trying to get the quirks out, feeling stiff. She reached the monitors and checked Dean's current state, quickly moving to check his IV. Satisfied all is as it should be, she glanced at the hunter again, focusing on his face, on his freckled nose and down to his pink lips that had a split, probably from one of the punches he received. She reached and took a crème from a nightstand; taking just a smidge with her ring finger, she gently applied it over the wound on Dean's mouth and then all over his slightly chipped lips. She felt a tiny tingle inside her chest and blushed at her own thoughts. Nevertheless, it took her a while before she could peel her eyes off those cute freckles.

When she finally did, she reached into her pocket for her phone, which miraculously survived her little adventure, only having a few spider webs over the screen and just a few pixels off, but was still working. She dialed the memorized number, finding it easier to type the numbers then to search the contact list, and waited for someone to pick up.

_"This is Doctor Ezekiel Jones. I am afraid I cannot come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number and a message, I will return the call as soon as possible. Thank you." _came Doc's stiff recorded message, and Sarah let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. This was better, easier. She would just leave a message for now, not having to deal with cut-off explanations over the phone. Postponing facing Doc for as long as she could was the perfect endgame here, and if she managed to wrap this up somehow before she even heard from him, that would be for the best. _What's done is done._ – were the words she used to end discussions, telling him she can't change what happened in the past and she won't dread over it.

"Hey, Dad. Cutting to the chase here – I found a guy that was hurt badly and I brought him to our hospital. Anyway, he needs help, I can feel it, so I am going to help him. I know this will probably piss you off, but I have to do this, I… I can't keep hiding, pretending like I am normal, you and me both know that I am far from it. I need to help him and I feel like this will help me learn more about myself and… Anyway, just wanted to let you know I am ok, even though I know you will… worry? Yeah, ok… Talk soon."

Well, that was… Informative. Sarah nodded like she was trying to convince herself it was good. She did lie a bit and conceal that vampires kidnapped her and that she was with a hunter, but she thought it would be too much for the Doc to accept.

"Hey there, girly!" a familiar voice came from the door of Dean's room and Sarah looked up, her face instantly drawing into a smile.

"Miranda!" Sarah exclaimed quietly and walked over to hug the short African-American nurse that had some charts in her hands and a smile that matched Sarah's. If Dean was awake, he would be damned if he wouldn't claim the nurse looked exactly like his friend Missouri Moseley, only shorter and friendlier.

"The whole floor is talking about you and this… Well, they weren't joking, girl, that boy is gorgeous. Whatcha do, hit him with a car?" Miranda asked smirking at her friend. She was one of the few that liked Sarah, but between the job and being a single mom to two kids, Miranda didn't have time to socialize much. But when she did find a few spare moments, Sarah was the first one she would call.

To the insinuation Sarah blushed and huffed a smile before replying "Noooo… I would never. Besides, you know I don't own a car."

"Um-hm." Miranda hummed like she didn't quite believe her. But she gave the girl a once over, knowing that if she indeed found him injured, Sarah would stay by his side until he woke. She was just that kind of a person.

"Ok, so maybe I didn't find him like this per say… - and she saw the intrigue in Miranda's eyes – Ok, I saw what happened to him. But it is complicated and we can't get the police involved and I… I just have to wait till he wakes up, he will know what to do…"

"Um-hm…' Miranda hummed, squinting her eyes at Sarah. "And it is 'legaly' complicated, or 'emotionally' complicated, cuz girl, you are blushing like crazy…"

Sarah bit her lip, trying to prevent the heat from rising to her cheeks once more, unsuccessfully, of course. But then she sighed. She knew it wasn't fair to drag Miranda into this, but she had to tell her just a bit. Partly to get a bit of that burden off her chest and partly to show her friend that this was serious.

"My kind of complicated." Sarah replied quietly and could see the smile fading off Miranda's face as it turned serious. Miranda just stood there, eyes wide just a bit, staring at Sarah. She knew about things that Sarah could do, but she never took part in it, never saw it, nor experience it. But deep down, Miranda knew Sarah was a good person and whatever this was, she was there to help someone out. So Miranda would back her friend up.

"What do you need, sugar?" She asked, her tone confident and determined, and it made Sarah smile, feeling the warmth of a friendship she rarely experienced.

"Oh, Mira, I couldn't possibly…"

"Don't give me that, girly! I know you! And I know if this is that serious that you're in trouble. So tell me what you need me to do, and leave the rest be!" Miranda scolded, threatening her with a clipboard with someone's chart and Sarah blinked in confusion before she rose her hands up in surrender mode.

"Ok, ok… Sheesh… Ok, look. When he wakes up, we might need to leave fast so… We could use a distraction then, but until that happens…" Sarah offered, looking back at Dean. Providing little distraction would be a piece of cake for Miranda, and it wouldn't put her in a tight spot with the head nurse. She couldn't possible ask for anything more.

Miranda nodded and looked at the patient in the bed. She came around the bed and checked his IV and progress, and then added.

"Until he wakes up, you are gonna go home and take a shower and change those clothes, you look like you were rollin' around in trash." Miranda said and when Sarah tried to protest, the nurse added: " He won't be up for another few hours, and it is almost time for my break. I will watch him while you go and fix yourself up. You don't want the sleeping beauty here to wake up and see his charming princess looking so worse for wear? Go on, Cinderella, go get cleaned up, your fairy-godmother will keep your prince safe."

Sarah actually laughed at that. Miranda could be goofie like that, and that is what the girl loved about her. She always managed to spark up her day when she was feeling down.

"I will just drop this paperwork and give the old grumpy Jerry his butt-shot and then I'll be back." Miranda added walking out of the room, leaving Sarah alone with an unconscious hunter once again.

Sarah sighed as she looked back at Dean again. She didn't want to leave him, but Miranda was right, she could use a shower and a change of clothes. In fact, Dean could use some clothes too, but Sarah feared to go to his motel room alone. Even though she drove Billy and Aisha into the ocean, she had a bad feeling that wasn't enough to kill them, and she wouldn't risk it. Doc's clothing was a bit uptight, but she was sure she could find something for Dean, thinking it was a good thing they were the same size.

An hour later, Sarah walked out of the hospital and took the Camaro she stole from the vamps, wanting to get back to Dean sooner rather than later. The moment she started the car, a bad feeling washed over her, and she pushed the gas pedal hard, like she was trying to get away from it. She glanced at the rear-view mirror as the hospital grew smaller and further away, and then refocused on the road ahead, completely missing the big black SUV that trailed her.


	16. Stolen Glances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There are NO depictions of violence, gore, blood, rape, torture or anything similar in this chapter.

Sam jolted awake and coughed feeling his mouth dry as if they were filled with sand. He gasped, letting his lungs fill with air and he darted around confusingly like he forgot where he was. He still had his arms and legs around Julia and she didn't seem to move or acknowledge his movements, if she was awake, she would probably be waking him up too. Because the light was back on. And the room was at a pleasant temperature.

What was going on? Was the generator working again? Sam glanced at the clock on the wall to notice it was just past 10 am. Last night they laid in bed, thinking it was the last thing they did, and now, what? Everything is fine? How was this possible? There had to be someone there, with them, close, someone to manipulate their surroundings and… Hundred questions arose inside the hunter and as he pondered them all, he didn't move from the spot, his arms still wrapped firmly around Julia, his legs still intertwined with hers.

It seemed so easy, it seemed so right. Perfect. Like having them like this made them one. It felt good. And this was actually the second night Sam didn't have a nightmare of any kind. The first one was just a day before, the one with Jess, and last night… He was sure he dreamed about Julia, just looking at him and smiling, but he couldn't remember much.

No, he shouldn't be going there, he shouldn't be thinking… No, he should forget about that, and focus on finding a way out of there. Make the radio work, find someone. Try and reach that other building in the distance, more equipped then Juls was when she tried. He should try and open those doors to that mystery room across the lab., maybe there was something there that could help. Still, what he should and shouldn't do was irrelevant as he was still spooning Julia, not moving an inch away from her.

Julia wasn't sleeping, not really. But she didn't know what to do, so she remained motionless. Feeling guilty about the entire situation from the day before, she knew she needed to apologize, to really apologize and try to make a manse, try and fix what can be fixed. After all, they needed each other if they were ever going to get out of this. And Sam needed to rest. So she remained still, not wanting to wake him up, sacrificing her own movements for his sake. Not that the fact that this position felt nice had anything to do with it.

Maybe she could move backwards just a bit and let her lower back lean on…

Sam sighed silently alerting Julia he was awake now. But few more minutes passed and Sam didn't really move and Julia began to wonder if he fell back asleep, not noticing the room was warm and lit again, or was he just trying to wrap his mind around those facts while trying to remember what happened last night? Or… Or did all of this feel nice for him too?

His arms were wrapped around her upper torso and held onto her opposite upper arm and somehow she had her arms tangled and over his biceps. It was really confusing to try and understand how they managed to intertwine themselves like that, but they didn't really need to understand, all they needed is too feel as much skin as possible to maintain the body heat. However when Sam finally tried to move, Julia tensed and pressed her hand over his bicep like she was trying to hold him in place. Subconsciously and unintentionally, of course.

That made Sam still his movements again, and he took a deep calming breath. He must have thought she was still asleep. But Julia quickly let go, letting her hand slip off of his and she sighed. "Good morning." Juls whispered and she heard him suck in a breath.

"Morning." He replied not moving. Ok, she was awake and he was awake and why weren't they moving? The silence was turning awkward, but despite that, it took a long time for someone to break it.

"Sam…" Julia started at the exact same time as Sam slowly pulled his hands away, electing an unintentional sigh from the huntress. And a part of Sam wanted to go back, to wrap his arms around her again, but resisted the urge, instead he sat up, swinging his legs off the bed, and reached to grab his clothes. He glanced back and saw that Julia has turned towards him, but he turned back and pulled his undershirt over his head, a part of him feeling too naked, to exposed.

Julia was still covered up to her collarbone, her bare arms out above the blanket, her hands placed over her upper body as she looked at Sam a bit sadly, trying hard to mask it and failing miserably. Her lips parted open and she tried to speak she tried to say something, but no words came. She wasn't the type to say she was sorry, the words rolled hard off her lips, but even if it wasn't so, what should she even say? Sam didn't even seem angry with her, which made it all that much harder. Damn it.

"I'm gonna go check the generator." He said a bit dryly. He wanted to tell her to stay in bed, to rest and recuperate but stopped himself, thinking that maybe, she didn't like being told what to do. So he got up and headed out of the room. Julia's eyes followed him out and when he closed the door, she let out a heavy sigh. Deep down, Juls knew she would have to talk, really talk and explain a few more things about her, and she hated it. She hated these _touchy-feely _moments where you have to have deep meaningful conversation and share… Feelings. Ugh.

But sometimes, those were necessary, especially when you care about someone and want to fix things between you. _Wait, go back… Care about someone?_

No, she couldn't care about Sam, not in that way. No, she liked him, and would love to take him for a ride… On her bike, obviously, but to care? No, it… She only knew him for a day or two, it would be impossible to develop… Ugh. Feelings.

"Oh, crap…" Julia said to herself, sighing heavily and looking up at the sky accusingly.

* * *

Sam moved slowly towards the generator room, trying to understand how it was possible that the blasted thing worked now and it wasn't working last night. He still felt the chills in his bones, some fatigue and general tiredness, but also hunger, so he decided to visit the kitchen and make some sort of a meal for Julia and him once he gives the generator a once over. Julia was probably hungry too.

Sam went into the maintenance room and gave the generator a full inspection, checking every part of it. The engine and the alternator were working fine, there was plenty of fuel according to the fuel indicator. The cooling and the exhaust systems worked as they should, and the voltage regulator indicated it was within a normal range. The generator powered the furnace that sent an abundance of hot air thought the ventilation system, so that was in order too. Then why? Why wasn't it working last night? Sam checked everything then, and it was just… Dead. Like someone pulled the plug on it, only that shouldn't be an option.

Finally, Sam's stomach growled loudly at him, and the hunter decided to take a break, Julia was probably starving too and he wanted to make sure she ate. Passing by the radio, he switched it on and for a split second, he thought he heard the waves of the ocean on the other side.

"Hello? Anyone out there? Please, we need help." He tried and the static was the only thing to reply. Sam sighed in slight defeat, but promised himself he would keep trying to reach someone, because you never know if you're going to stumble upon a lead, something that might help. He left it alone for now, walking out and headed for the kitchen.

Somehow he wasn't surprised to find Julia there.

She gave him a polite smile when he walked in and lifted a can up. " I got Campbell's Beef stew with a side of pees. Wouldn't mind a steak, but I take what I can get." Julia muttered, trying to sound cheery, but it came out super weird that she cussed at herself inwardly. Still, Sam huffed a small smile.

"My mother's maiden name was Campbell." Sam said walking pass the tables. "Need any help?"

"Really? That's interesting. And no, thanks. I might not be a Chef or a Sous-Chef but I can do the basics." She said and bit her tongue, she didn't want to sound so… Ugh… Sam seemed like he took no notice of what she said and went over to the lower cabinets. He crouched next to them, reached in and pulled a can.

"Got peaches for dessert." He said with a bit of enthusiasm, lifting a can high above his head while still crouching. Julia laughed.

"Is gonna go great with the vanilla ice-cream we have a tone of." She added and it was Sam's turn to laugh. Their eyes locked for a second and Julia couldn't help but think it felt nice. The small talk, the playing around, just doing something normal and joking about it and… Julia broke the eye contact first. She was starting to get lolled into something she knew it couldn't, it wouldn't work.

Sam turned and got some dishes out of the cupboards, and just when the turned back to go and place them on the table, Julia turned to place the stew in the microwave. He brushed past her and she just had to glance back at him, her mind going from emotions to some urges, as her eyes slid over his rear. Biting her lower lip, she snapped her head back and tried to shake those thoughts away. For too long she objectified men, not allowing herself to see pass their bodies, not allowing them in, emotionally. Only physically. It was easier that way, zero to none chance of getting hurt in any way.

She didn't want to objectify Sam, but she couldn't help herself. He was after all a tall, muscular man with decent abs and a tight little ass, and broad, very broad shoulders. His tad longer hair would be ideal for tangling her fingers in it and just pulling it, pulling his head back and exposing his neck to… _FOCUS!_

After the meal was cooked, they sat down and ate quietly, Julia sparing Sam a few looks. He noticed them, but said nothing, not moving his eyes off the meal before him. But when the silence grew too deafening, Sam was the first one to break it.

"The generator is working good. I don't know what happened, last night I couldn't get it started..." He trailed off two separate thoughts hitting him one after the other, making him go pale first and then having his cheeks turn a slight pink in color. Julia didn't see any of it, too focused on her own meal.

The first thought was that he could have messed up. That he was so tired he missed something, some way to turn the generator back on, and as a result they could have... He didn't even want to think what could have happened.

But the second thought... That one was a bit more embarrassing, because, for some unknown reason, Sam thought that Julia might think he did it on purpose. So that he could... Oh, what if that thought crosses her mind? What would she think of him? How would she react? And why the hell was he acting like a school girl with a crush all of a sudden?!

"As long as it is working now, that's what matters..." Julia said over her her peas, frowning at them. Greens were never her favorite food color. Finally raising her eyes at the man across the table, she added "But if you're good with all that handy-man stuff, you could check the thing a few times, make sure it is working properly." Suddenly an image of Sam wearing nothing but a tool belt attacked her mind, and she shooed it just as quickly.

"Yeah, I can do that. - Sam replied with a small smile – I can try the radio more often too." He offered ad watched as Juls nodded with a polite smile of her own. She opted to add something helpful too, but it seemed like she decided against it at the last second. Sam, being clairvoyant for a moment, picked up on her indecisiveness to say it, so he said it himself.

"We could also gear up properly and see if we can reach that building. Together." He said and watched as a guilty frown morphed into a comforted smile. "But you should rest more, gain a bit more strength before we try to do that."

"You need rest too." Julia added knowing that next to being out in the cold with her, he also had to carry her back (in his big, strong arms..._Focus, damnit!). _

"I'll be fine." Typical Sam said making Julia frown.

"Sam... You carried me back for a few miles. - She said concern and guilt showing in her voice – You should rest too..." She got up and picked up on the ice-cream, the peaches, while Sam picked up some bowls and spoons and handed then to Julia. The huntress made the dessert, that wasn't much to look at, but as delicious as it could get, and then handed Sam back a full bowl. They walked back to the table together as they talked and sat back at their chairs.

"I'm good. Might try and reach someone with the radio, or try to get that door open, the ones across the lab..." Sam said playing with his dessert, his mind trying to find a way to decide what to do first. He added rechecking the generator and the fuel tank outside, and casing the perimeter more, though he doubted he would find anything beside the snow.

Julia wondered if this had anything to do with the fact that they had only one bed. So she set her hand on his and gazed deep into his eyes, trying so damn hard not to show a slight devilish smile that was tugging on her lips. "We're both adults here, we can share a bed. Besides, we already did worse than just lying next to one another with our clothes on."

Sam had to smile at that, lowering his head and shaking it. It was true, in an embarrassing way. And even if he really wanted to get up and do something productive, he didn't feel he was up to his 100 %, (which was about 40% for a normal human). He raised his head to meet her smiling gaze and sighed with a smile of his own.

"You sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. I even promise to keep my hands to myself." Julia joked electing another smile from Sam. They were half way through their dessert, stealing glances of one another every few moments and both pretended not to see the other one looking. Finally, Sam gave out another laugh.

"What?" Julia protested with a questioning frown.

"You um… You got some ice cream above your mouth. Just there to the right… No, your right…" And Sam watched as Julia in such a Dean manner tried to lick the ice cream off her face and when she was unsuccessful, she took her hand and wiped her face with the sleeve, making Sam huff yet another smile, shaking his head. But there was some warmth in his eyes as the raised them back upon the huntress, watching her frown at her sleeve.

"Did I get it all?" Juls asked locking her eyes with his and watched him nod. "Good. Well, I'm done with this. You?" Julia added and when Sam gave out another nod, she took his bowl and hers, and went to clean them.

A few minutes later they were both walking towards the bedrooms, both quiet and deep in their thoughts. Sam took the side of the bed that was further from the door, the same spot he woke up in the first time he found himself in this place. Julia laid next to him, on her back, lazily pulling her arms above her head. Sam too was on his back, both feeling awkward to turn into any other possition. But hey, at least this time they were fully clothed.

Considering it was around noon, and they both woke up only two hours ago, sleep wouldn't take them, even though they were both still weak. Sam closed his eyes and listened to the deep breaths Julia took. There was a reason she acted the way she did, he knew for sure, but it was normal for a person like her to have a hard time opening up to someone. A true hunter to her core.

"This is boring…" Sam flinched out of his thoughts when Julia spoke and turned his head slightly to glance over at her. He could see her eyes flutter open and hear her huff a loud breath, _pff-_ing at the ceiling. "Talk to me… Tell me… You're weirdest case ever…"

Sam frowned confusingly at her for only a split second before he brought his own gaze up at the ceiling and replied with a smile.

"Would you like to hear about the time I found a rabbit's foot, or when my brother contracted ghost sickness?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone can figure out how I managed to write over 3000 words of Sam and Julia waking up, eating and going back to bed again, please... Let me know too. Cuz I can't figure it out. Also, would love to hear more thoughts on his whole story. Don't shy away from leaving a comment or two...


	17. Take another little piece of my heart

There was a deep sigh of relief that escaped Sarah the moment she reached her home, shut the door at the outside world and leaned her back on it, the old wooden door giving her a moan of disapproval and stress. No matter what, she always felt safe there, in Doc's home, despite the other feelings, good or bad she might have had.

Still, it was no time to dwell on that. Safety wasn't what she was going after, not this time. This time she knew she had to get out of her comfort zone if she was ever going to find out more about herself. And in the past two days, she had learned more than in the 37 years of her life. Sarah rolled her eyes and groaned at her thought. Three months ago, on May 2nd, she turned 37 and was still single and living with her foster father.

Sarah walked over to her bedroom upstairs and into the bathroom and removed her clothes in few swift motions, piling it in the hamper and finally turned the shower on. Getting in and letting the hot water wash away all the smells and the debris from the warehouse, she closed her eyes. She wouldn't let her mind wonder towards the fact that she was this old and lonely, instead, trying to figure out more about herself that resulted in that loneliness.

Like what exactly happened in that warehouse? Dean said he knew, he said he would explain, but they haven't had a chance to talk yet and with each passing minute, her mind started developing doubts and ideas. First she thought it was Dean that did something, maybe it was a witches' spell, something he learned in his hunting life and used in occasions like this.

But he seemed so confused when it happened.

Then she thought maybe Dean had a guardian angel or something like that. Someone willing to assist him out in occasions like this, to use their abilities to help those that help others. This would make more sense, especially if Dean thought the guardian angel to be gone, and was surprised to receive such help. He did seem to know what it all was.

As she walked out of the shower and dried herself, Sarah couldn't help but think back on the image of that warehouse, of that room and what was left of it. Little charred outlines around a slight hole in the room that resembled a very shallow crater, the pile of ashes that was clearly Brian, name tag buried in it, half of it sticking out. It was all... Disturbing.

But the chains were gone, disintegrated and she was sure Dean was half healed, so there was a plus to it. She remembered that awful feeling when she saw him pale, sitting in the pool of his own blood in that Camaro. She knew his soul, she knew that most of his life he knew of suffering and just that, two distinctive things still scaring his weakened heart. Oh, how she wished she could heal it.

Sarah stepped back into her room, thoughts filled with worry about Dean and she absently pulled on a few shirts from her closet. Frowning at each one, she tossed the yellow one and then the pink one away and instead chose a shirt with the color of peach, a perfect blend of the previous two. Next she had to find something for Dean.

Sarah took a deep breath as she stood in front of her Father's bedroom. She has been in there a few times, vacuuming and cleaning a bit, but Doc didn't like it when she entered it and to be quite honest, neither did she. She would try to come in and vacuum, most of the time finding the room almost borderline OCD clean. All things had their place and it was like they were never moved. The bed was always made and it always looked like no one has ever slept in it. If Sarah didn't know any better, she would say a ghost lived there.

Though it might not have been all that unbelievable. Sarah was never able to get a read on the man, not like all the other people, and she always thought it was strange. But there was this one time, when she listened to some music while dusting the living room and turned and saw him staring in the distance, emotional pain written all over his face. But why? Why would Phil Collin's song about homeless people bring out such emotions from a man who never, not once in her whole life showed any sign he had them. Or was he just that good in hiding them?

Sarah rolled her eyes when she opened her Father's closet. Suit after suit after suit, a few coats and two formal tuxedos. Not a single sweat pants, nor regular pants, no nothing. Not even PJs. Weird. And as Sarah rummaged among the hanged clothes, trying to find something Dean would feel a bit comfortable in, she spotted something on the ground pushed way back, deep inside the closet. A fluffy old brown blanket covered a pile of something and Sarah carefully reached and pulled the blanket off.

Out of all the things she thought she would find, a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt on top of a small wooden box was not one of them. Ok, at least she found something for Dean. She should just take the clothes and cover the box and just get out of there. She should. She definitely should. Doc would be very pissed to learn she was going through his stuff. But considering all that has happened, he will be pissed either way, right?

Slowly she reached and picked up the box that had some beautiful carvings engraved into it. Lead by pure curiosity, her right hand reach and removed the latch, opening the box.

Inside were two things. The first one seemed to be a knife, no... A blade of sorts, a dagger, but only the round hilt was visible, the sharp end was in a rectangular three dimensional hard pouch, and she picked it up, feeling slightly drawn to it. The feeling reminded her of the demon blade Dean had shown her and she decided to put it back for now, not wanting to come into any more contact with it.

The second thing was more interesting. It was another box, a much smaller velvet box everyone always knew what it was used for. With a deep breath, Sarah picked it up and opened it. Staring back at her was a beautiful ring with a nice little ruby that shone so bright and Sarah couldn't help but remember that distant look in Doc's eyes she only once caught a glimpse of. Never has Sarah thought there might have been someone in his life. She had lived with the man for over twenty years and now? Somehow she got this feeling she didn't know him. Not at all.

* * *

Aisha was fuming. Billy parked the stolen SUV a bit further down the road and then they both tried to break into the house, both unsuccessfully, because the minute they would come near it, a blinding headache would overpower them, very similar to the one they felt when their brother was disintegrated.

Billy was as cool as ever about the whole thing, lazily looking up at the house while Aisha was pacing in front of him. Then she suddenly stopped and sent her brother a death glare, angry with him too. Angry he wasn't as pissed as she was, angry that he isn't doing anything but stare at the house. He would seem like a mindless junky, or rather a wasted old teenager wannabe at times, dumb and clueless, but the fact was, Billy was just the opposite.

"Why are you just standing there doing nothing? Why aren't we trying to find a way in, trying to get to her and tear her apart?" Aisha almost stomped her feet in a bit of a childish way, and Billy only glanced at her, giving her a small smirk before he drew his attention back on Sarah's house.

"Why would we do that when we could wait for her to come out?" He simply replied and pushed himself away from the SUV he was leaning on. "Tell you what? I'll watch the back, you watch the front. It is getting late, and there are fewer people on the street, we'll just grab her when she walks out." To that, Aisha grinned widely.

Billy nudged his head towards a park that was across the house, suggesting Aisha should retreat to it, and avoid being seen by Sarah from inside the house, and then he proceeded to the back of the house sticking to the fence as not to get too big of a headache that the house seem to evoke. he hid behind a shed of sorts and settled to watch the house.

Aisha went to the park and sat at a bench that was turned away from the house. She sat on its edge and turned halfway to it, trying to look as discreet as possible. Half an hour later, she was tapping her foot on the ground, nervous and eager to reach the girl already, but still there was no sign of Sarah. Another half an hour, and Aisha was ready to storm her house, screw the headache and everything, and sink her teeth into the bitch that killed her brother. But then, she noticed movement at the front door and she quickly stood up, her eyes focused on the house and she stepped forward, bumping into a short fat man and getting her shirt covered in his strawberry ice-scream.

Face filled with bewilderment, Aisha raised her angry eyes at the man in front of her, but the man said nothing, only stared sadly at the ground where the rest of his ice-cream and the cone ended up. There was nothing more Aisha wanted to do then to rip that asshole apart. But if she drew too much attention to herself now, being at this distance, the bitch would have notice too soon, and Aisha would miss her chance to grab her. So instead, she pushed the guy out of the way with a low growl and started towards her prey.

Aisha didn't get to finish her first step when her foot glided over the ice-cream, and flew up towards the sky, the other foot followed and the vampire ended up falling on her ass, hitting her back first and then her head. Some strange feeling washed over her and for a second she felt a bit woozy, her eyes closing on her.

Sarah got out of the house carrying something wrapped up in a blanket, sat in the blood smeared Camaro with a frown, set the bundle she was carrying onto the back seat and drove away, feeling on alert, but not noticing the two vampires that were stalking her.

Aisha battled to stay away, and just when she thought she won that fight, the face of her older brother Billy leaned over her and with a wild teasing grin, he said "Quit lying around.". That earned him a death glare, and when Aisha got up, she noticed Sarah and the car were gone.

"Goddamnit! Why did you let her get away?" She yelled at Billy, but the other vamp didn't seemed fazed by her sister's outburst as he started walking back to the SUV. He opened the back door and pulled a bottle of Vodka, taking a long thirsty swing and wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"I didn't let her get away. – he said – You did. But it is understandable. From around the back, I caught a glimpse of some strange markings, normally invisible, but with the sunset shining at it in just the right way… Whatever those are, they were meant to keep people like us away. They are the reason behind that headache and probably why we feel so weak around it."

All that caused Aisha to spin around and look at the house, confused. She turned back to her brother when he started speaking again, of course after taking another swing at the bottle. "This is getting to be a drag, and it is slowly starting to annoy me. Let's just go back to the hospital, kill them there and be done with."

"I want them to suffer for what they've done!" Aisha spat at her brother and it was his turn to glare at her, instantly changing her angry look to a guilty, compliant one. Still, she huffed an irritated breath when she turned away from him, turned towards the house. She squinted her eyes at it for a minute, just stared and then, when an idea popped into her head she swung back to her brother and snatched the bottle out of his hands.

To ease her rage and maybe get back at her brother just a bit for being bossy, she took a long swing, brought the bottle down, ripped her shirt (the part that wasn't stained with pink ice -cream) and started pushing the cloth down the throat off the bottle. Billy rolled his eyes at her, but didn't try and stop her as she pulled out a lighter, lit the cloth up and walked towards the house as close as it would allow her. With a wild grin and a crazy look in her eyes, she threw the makeshift Molotov cocktail at the house, managing to hit a window and smash right through it with the bottle. The small cracklings of fire were proof it worked and Aisha could only hope it would ignite the whole damn thing.

* * *

Dean's eyes fluttered open and started darting around the white room. Somewhere in the distance there was a beeping song, a song that suggested he was hooked on a heart monitor and he figured he must have been in a hospital. With a small grunt, he lifted his head and felt pain in his leg. Remembering what happened, he was surprised it didn't hurt a lot more considering it was broken and with an open fracture, but they must have had him dosed with morphine. And he couldn't have that, not now, not with everything he...

"Whoa, whoa, there. Where's the fire, sugar?" A voice spoke and Dean looked down to see dark hands pushing him to lay back down. There was confusion written over his face as he looked up at the woman before him.

"M.. Missouri?" He barely managed with a coarse voice. The woman handed him a glass of water that he greedily took and drank in an instant, handing her back the glass. He was met with disapproval in his eyes that only served to remind him more of his friend that passed away.

"I know I am a bit round around the edges, but I ain't as big as a state!" was her scolding reply. It made Dean smile nostalgically, accepting the second glass of water she gave.

"No, you're not, but you do look a lot like a friend of mine. Act like her too." She said after drinking the second glass and letting his head fall back down on the pillow.

"You mean to tell me you have a friend that is fabulous and a good looker like me, and at the same time, helpful and caring?" she said fixing his blanket and checking his IV. As it was almost out, she detached the line from him and threw it in the bin.

"Precisely." Dean charmed making the nurse smile.

"Oh, you tease, you... But from what I have gathered you're already taken..." Miranda said wanting to see his reaction to that. She expected to see that little spark that lit up in Dean's eyes, but she did not expect to see that high level of worry as well. It made her worried as well.

"Where... Where is Sarah?" he asked with a dose of gravity in his voice, studying the woman in front of him, feeling a lot less relaxed then he was a moment ago. A thought crossed his mind that the nurse could be an enemy here, and he needed to see her reaction to his question to dismiss the idea. But before Miranda could answer, Sarah walked in the room.

Miranda got her answer as soon as Dean laid his eyes on Sarah, the spark glowing brighter then the nurse has ever seen. The way his mouth wrapped in a wide smile, the slight relief flashing upon his face, and those wide eyes. To Miranda, it was as clear as day, the man was in love.

Sarah smiled back at him, her own eyes giving out a slightly shyer spark, but a bright one nonetheless. She walked into the room and set a bag on a chair, giving Dean a once over. "Hey." she said.

"Hey..." he said back, and for a moment, both just starred at each other.

Sarah broke the eye contact first, glancing over at Miranda and then asking "How are you feeling?"

"Good, all things considered..." he replied looking away, but quickly bringing his gaze back upon Sarah, as if he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

"His X rays have arrived while you were out..." Miranda pointed out, nudging her and handing her a folder, wearing a pleased smile of her took the folder out of her hands and gave her an amused smile, seeing the look on her friends face.

"Thanks. And thank you for staying here." She said and by no chance did she mean Miranda had to leave, but the nurse figured they needed time alone, so after giving Sarah a wink, she excused herself and left the room. Dean watched as Sarah pulled out the X rays, lifting it to the light and he watched as her smile turned into a confused frown. Dean already knew why it was so.

"This... This is... Impossible..." Sarah darted the sheet, examining Dean's bow leg.

"Not in my line of work..." Dean almost whispered, too serious and their eyes locked for a moment, some silent exchange between them before Sarah brought her gaze back upon the X rays. She could grasp some mild healing, but something to this extent? It was... Impossible.

"But, yesterday it was a clear break with an open wound... Your bone was sticking out of your leg, for Christ's sake! You're telling me this is... Normal for you?" Sarah asked with some paleness to her cheeks and some fear in her eyes that made Dean's breath hick up for a moment.

It was unnerving, when you think about it. Not the way his leg was almost healed, he knew why it was so. The unnerving part was that this was in fact _normal_ for him. And he might have given people the talk about the supernatural before, but he never stuck around nor cared enough to see people's reaction and help them cope with it. Last one was sorta Jody and then her girls, but there were others to help them understand. There was Bobby for Jody and Jody for Patience. He didn't have to deal with it, not really.

Sarah saw the pallet of emotions flash upon Dean's face and felt the heaviness of each and every one of them, as Dean's eyes darted the ground. But she was still too confused, too uncomfortable with it all and she just had to push on, she had to know, she needed to know.

"Yesterday your leg was... - she motioned towards his cast, not feeling like repeating the state his leg was in – and now? Now it is nothing but a small fracture, and the rate it is going? It will be healed within a day or two. How? How is this possible?"

"Angels..." Dean simply replied.

"A... Angels? Angels." Sarah repeated the word, first time with confusion, then as a confirmation. "And... Did they... Did... Back at the warehouse?" Sarah tried, but couldn't even find words to describe what exactly happened back there.

"It is called collective angel smiting. And yeah, I think it was them, in a way..." I didn't quite make sense to Dean either. Last time he almost witnessed such an event was with Amara, and it was bigger, accompanied with a lot more destruction. In fact, it was complete destruction, so much so that the air wasn't even breathable. This was a lot smaller, a lot more focused, and... It delivered both destruction of their chains and of Brian along with healing of their wounds. It was weird, different, and Dean couldn't help but think it was Jack's attempt. Despite everything, Dean was grateful for that.

"You think? You're... Not sure?" Sarah asked slowly, her brows pinched in what seemed to be more worry then confusion, but before Dean could reply, Miranda walked back in the room, slight fear upon her face.

"Catherine wants to see you." was all Miranda said, and Sarah sucked in a breath. Of course the head nurse wanted to see her. They wanted information, they wanted to cover themselves legally in case anything happens. Sarah was surprised they haven't notified the cops yet, but she attributed their courtesy to the fact that she was Doc's daughter and he was well respected in the hospital. They have given Sarah a day, and she knew she couldn't ask for more, but considering Dean's much better condition, maybe she could weasel them both out of there before anyone starts asking too many questions.

Catherine was a bitch, but she was the bitch that was in love with Doc, and just wouldn't back down despite his rejections. So Sarah used that, used a promise of a possible arranged date to get out of saying too much. She hated doing that, she hated lying and hated the way she offered her father like that, but most of all, she hated how easy it was to do all that. A part of her felt bad, felt dirty, but all those thoughts and feelings were soon dispersed a second later. That was when Sarah rounded a corner and saw Aisha and Billy at the nurses station, talking to the nurse on the reception.

Surprise and shock, followed by fear washed over her and she swallowed hard. How are they here? How did they find them? Did they follow her? She remembered that feeling she had when she made the short trip to her home and assumed that must have been when they found her.

Sarah was never in situations like this. She never needed to find a fast solution, an easy fix and she never had to be quick on her toes. Not even when she was a nurse intern, their superiors never allowed her that. And if she had time to contemplate about it now, she would be surprised at the fact that her mind worked so fast, came up with such a plan in a matter of seconds, all the while feeling panic starting to rise within her.

With a corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Miranda across the hall, and managed to catch her eye. With a few motions, she was able to convey that it was time for Miranda's distraction and quickly retreated back to Dean's room. Grabbing crouches, she hoped to God Dean could manage down the fire escape on those, because they needed to get out of there now.

She could hear gasps and shouts and Miranda faking a heart-attack and a fond smile crept upon her face only for a moment before it disappeared, replaced by seriousness. She waltzed into Dean's room, finding that he already changed into the clothes she brought him, and it only took him one glance at Sarah to become instantly on alert. He tried to ask, but got his answer before the question even left his lips.

"The vampires are back. We need to leave, now." Sarah said with a flat tone that even scared her. Because deep down she knew she was freaking out, every voice inside of her was screaming at her, the flight instinct burning hard, but she was doing it anyway, right? She wasn't staying and fighting, she was fleeing and that must have been what kept her calm on the outside, right?

Seven minutes later (how Sarah managed to count the exact minutes, she had no idea), Dean was easing into the back seat of the Camaro, because a) the front seat was covered in his dried blood and b), his leg was still trapped in a cast that they had no time to remove. Not that Sarah would let him remove it, the fracture was still not healed enough for that. Sarah was once again behind the wheel and speeding away from the hospital.

But then, fourteen minutes minutes later (seriously, how does she know that?), she hit the break so hard, Dean almost flew to the front. He turned to her with a slight frown, confused by her action. What he saw made his breath hitch. Sarah was pale, her lips parted and lower lip trembling just a bit. Her eyes were wide, filling with tears and her irises' reflected the yellow light of open flames. And when Dean turned, following her line of sight, the image before him made him gasp loudly, enveloping his heart in painful sadness.

Sarah, her eyes still focused to what was in front of her, slowly opened the door and stepped out of the car. Dean fumbled with the door, trying to get it open and trying to maneuver his way out of the damn car, cursing at everything he could think of. Sarah walked closer to the place that was her home and her sanctuary for so long, the place that welcomed her when no one else would, when she thought she would end up on the street at the age of sixteen. She walked as close as the crowd and the fire-department barriers would allowed her, her lip still trembling, her tears trailing down her cheeks as she watched her greatest enemy, her greatest fear consume another piece of her life. Dean walked closer to her, keeping his eyes on the open flames. His lips pinched in a thin line to prevent his lower lips from shaking and he swallowed hard.

A part of Dean wished he could be struck down right there and then, but the other part knew he had to be there for her. Even if this was all his fault. If he hadn't dragged her into all this, none of this would happen. But he had to be there for her, he owed her at least that much. And as he limped his way to her, crotches forgotten in the car, he wanted nothing more then to hug her tight and allow her to cry in his arms, let it all out. He wanted her to scream and to yell at him for getting her into this mess.

But all Sarah did was stand perfectly still, her fists clenched tight, stoically taking in the event before her, shedding a few silent tears, never allowing a whimper, never allowing a sob to part her when she turned to Dean and looked at him with those blank eyes, the hunter couldn't help but gasp at the sight, the total lack of emotions on her pretty face. The hunter couldn't help but feel yet another sting to the heart, the total lack of that joy and perkiness in her eyes. They have gone stone cold, and suddenly Dean felt like he couldn't breathe.

This was all on him.

Sarah turned, and looked at Dean. She wasn't angry with him, she didn't blame him for anything. How could he have known this was going to happen? She felt his guilt, but she was too enveloped in her own anger to react to his anguish. Angry with those vampires, angry with her father, angry with herself. Why? It didn't even matter anymore.

Maybe it was the fact that she allowed herself to be cocooned within the safety of her home and her situation to explore her powers further and find out more about herself, about who she is, maybe all of this could have been avoided.

After everything that has happened, Sarah felt like she cracked open the Pandora's box that were her powers, taping in deeper then she ever did before. Pushing herself to try and use them instead of letting her powers take the lead. And somehow, she doesn't regret doing that. Despite everything, she felt better, she felt alive. She felt free. And all that more determined.

So when she turned to Dean and met his eyes, she said with a blank tone "We still have work to do. We still need to find your brother. So let's go do that now." There was strong resolve in her voice that maybe wavered at the end there, but she wouldn't let it show. With that, she brushed past him and went back to the car, leaving Dean to stand there and feel like crap.

Dean didn't expect her to be able to look at him, much less say what she said. And when she walked away, he knew she was expecting him to move, to go back to the car and then... What? Figure what to do next, just like that? And Dean most certainly didn't expect her to come back with the crotches in her hands and help him back to the car, making him feel like an even bigger piece of crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a little longer then the rest, I hope you don't mind. Thoughts and comments are welcomed, needed, desired like water in the desert. So please... Drop some. Or better yet, make it rain.


	18. Close your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while to update this, was hung up on a few one-shots I wrote, but I am back now. Hope you enjoy this chapter that is a bit more dynamic then the previous Sam chapter.

"So Dean actually barked at the mailman? And threatened a pigeon with a gun? In public?!" Juls was barely holding her laughs. Sam spent almost 4 hours talking about some funnier adventures he and his brother shared. It started as a way to lift their spirits, but once Julia started laughing, he just had to keep her going. He had to listen to that beautiful sound and watch as her eyes sparkled each time he said something funny.

There was definitely something special about her, something that drew him to her, and as much as he wanted to fight it, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her, so each time he said something funny, he glanced her way. A few times she glanced back at him, and their eyes would meet, but both would quickly look away, breaking the eye-contact almost at the same time.

Glancing over at the clock on the wall, Sam could see it was close to 3:30 PM, also noticing that he does feel a rested. Maybe not enough to go outside yet, but enough to get up and do something aside from just lying around. Besides, they needed to find a way out, or a way to reach someone that could help them. But he didn't feel like getting up, he didn't feel like moving away from her. A part of him wanted her close, and his indecisiveness was keeping him in place.

But it was like Julia could read his mind, she said "Time to get up, huh?" making him flinch and turn to look at her. He sighed and then nodded, and turned to get up. "We… We don't have to go out today? Maybe we could check out the building tomorrow, when we are fully rested?" Juls asked and Sam had no idea if he heard fear in her voice, plea or concern. Was she scared to go back out there, or was she worried about him?

"Sure, tomorrow. I'll go check the generator and try the radio again, and then see if I can get into the room across the lab." Sam replied wanting to sound as comforting and reassuring as he could. He turned and swung his legs off the bed.

"I'll help. My dad thought me a thing or two about electrical appliances and stuff, so if you want, I can check out the radio… See if it works properly…" Julia added as she too went to get up and gave Sam a glance, seeing if he was ok with that.

"Sure, great. I'll take the generator, you take the radio." Sam said as he finally got up and stretched making Julia quickly turn and head for the door. He frowned after her, slightly confused by her sudden action, but that was only because he didn't notice that when he stretched, his shirt lifted up with his hands, revealing the outline of his abs, and Julia had to turn away and run. She knew she felt this attraction towards Sam, but couldn't quite explain why was she feeling like she was going to lose control and jump him.

Best to keep her hands otherwise preoccupied. Sam left the room and by the time he reached the maintenance room, Julia was already under the table that held the radio, checking the wires and making sure it was all connected properly. Sam threw her another confused glance, but wordlessly went to check the generator. After a few minutes he was done, sure that everything was working as it should and he turned his head towards Julia to tell her that, but didn't get a chance.

"Bingo!" Juls yelled and then shouted a line of curses that Sam couldn't quite make out over the cracking sound of electricity. He came closer and leaned lower, trying to get a better look. Juls was on her knees and under the table, fumbling with the cables, and Sam watched her fingers work, untangling the lines and flinching when an exposed wire threw sparks at her hand. She shifted on her knees, that were probably getting a little sore because of the position she was in, and Sam couldn't help when his eyes traveled from her hands, over her back and down on her… Hips. But the next second he was flinching and looking away, slight blush creeping up on his cheeks when Juls moved from under the table and got up, dusting her hands off.

"Now, let's give this baby a twirl." She said and turned the radio on. Suddenly, music filled the room and the Archies sang:

"_Sugar… Oh, honey, honey… You are my candy, girl… And you got me wanting you…"_

Sam's blush suddenly intensified, he could feel the burn in his cheeks, and he had no idea why. Why was acting this way, why was some song affecting him, making him have these strange thoughts in his head, when he should be wondering…

"What the hell?" Julia said, not noticing Sam's reaction, as she reached and turned down the volume. This should be a communication radio and it is for some reason picking up actual music station frequency or something like that. Julia sat down at the chair and altered the frequencies, but every time she turned back to that particular one, there would be music playing. Ok, that was weird.

Sam leaned in and watched what she was doing, reached out and stopped her from changing the frequencies. "Wait, go back, go back. Just before the… Music." So Juls turned the dial and stopped where she was sure Sam wanted her to, because there was some strange sound there, almost like a tractor was working in the distance, an old engine muscling through. It made no sense to Julia.

It made even less sense to Sam, especially because he knew that sound, he has lived in that sound, he listened to it his whole life. He could recognize that sound everywhere, the sound of the engine of a '67 Impala, his brother's car. Sam quickly turned the microphone on and tried to reach someone on the other side but was met with only the sound of a running engine.

"You… you hear it too right? Please tell me I am not going nuts and that's the sound of a car's engine, right?" Sam asked turning his pleading look towards Julia.

"Well, more like a tractor, but yeah sure. I suppose it could be an old car. Like a Camaro or a…" Julia said with a shrug.

"67 Chevy Impala." Sam offered making Julia frown at him.

"That's rather specific." She said giving him a look that was asking for an explanation. Sam sighed, opened and then closed his mouth, not really sure how to explain it.

"Dean's car. I would recognize the sound everywhere. But I… I have no idea how this is possible." he said as he motioned at the radio. Julia said nothing, and Sam kinda stood there for a few minutes, mesmerized by the familiar sound, suddenly feeling just a bit safer and just a bit more confident.

Julia wasn't so sure. The sound could belong to anything really, and it could be Sam's imagination, but she couldn't say for sure that that was the case. Maybe it was just someone toying with them, with Sam, wanting to draw out a reaction. But what kind? Before she had a chance to consider it all, Sam reached for the radio, specifically for the call button and when he toughed it, sparks started flying everywhere. It was like his body's natural electricity reacted to the radio's, making it short out. But that kind of thing shouldn't really be possible.

Julia partly expected Sam to become frantic and panicked for loosing this connection, because she knew she would be, but Sam just leaned on the table and heaved a heavy sign that was strangely not one of defeat, but not one of relief either. It was like… It was something in between. Like Sam's hopes risen and died at the same time. After a minute he glanced back at Juls and straightened up, his body language showing more determination, but his eyes filled with slight fear.

"I'm gonna go try to pry that door open." was all he said and walked out of the room. It was weird the way he just moved on after he thought he heard something, made some connection to the outside world. But Julia guessed that, since the connection was gone, Sam decided not to cling onto hope that it might help them, choosing instead to do something a bit more tangible. Or was it just his way of coping?

Well, it was better than hers anyway. He didn't yell at her and threw her to the ground.

Julia squinted her eyes at the radio. There was something about it that screamed at her, made her instincts go haywire now that she heard it do things it wasn't supposed to. Picking up music and car noises was something these types of radios simply didn't do. And it was one of those types of mysteries that she liked to solve. Something that needed a… Hands on approach.

Julia stood gawking at the radio for a few minutes and then decided she would leave it be for now. She still wanted to help Sam out, so she turned and left the room, heading in Sam's direction to see how he is doing with the door. From the maintenance room it was just to the right and then around the corner to the left. Before she exited the room she could hear distant banging as if Sam was trying to break in, but it stopped as she approached the corner.

Sam did indeed try to run the door after he tried to pick the lock, unsuccessfully. Since the door was metal, he doubted he would be able to force his way through it, but still he had to try. He bang his shoulder on it three times before it started to really hurt and he gave up. So when the brute force didn't work, Sam would have to use more brain.

He was curious though. Considering the dimensions of the place they were at, the hallways around the room and the storage room that was next to it all suggested the room was small in size. A thought crossed his mind that it might have been a cold storage, but the lab already had a small cooling unit and besides – they were on the North Pole, why the hell would anyone need cold storage here?

Ok, this isn't helpful. He needed to stop thinking about what it might be behind those doors and focus on the door itself. That was one concrete thing he could do in this whole situation right now, and he needed a small win. And then it hit him (and boy was he glad it didn't literally hit him) – a crowbar. He could use a crowbar he saw in the storage room. Swiftly he turned and in two fast steps he was around the corner.

Around the corner and slamming into a slightly smaller figure making her stumble backwards.

In one instant, he saw it play out - he saw her taking a step backwards, her eyes closed and her hand reaching for her head that bumped into his chest. At the speed he was going, it might as well have been a plaster wall she ran into, making her feeling woozy and in combination with the general fatigue they both felt after last night… He already saw her stumbling and tripping, landing hard on her ass before her head followed the inertia, making her fall down completely, hitting her head on the hard floor.

So in the last possible second Sam reached and grabbed her hand that shot out to her hurting head, grabbed her and pulled it towards him, making Julia stumble forward again, hitting his chest a bit more gently this time and stay in place as his other hand wrapped around her waist. And Sam? Sam couldn't help but lock his eyes with her, gazing deep into those dark brown beauties that held some soothing calm. He heard her almost silent gasp at his motion and then after a few moments he could feel her gulp, but she didn't move, she stayed frozen in place, frozen in his arms, feeling completely unable to move.

For a split second Sam's eyes glanced down at her full red lips and no, he didn't wonder what they felt like, no… He already knew, or had a good idea of how they felt before he even met her, before he even knew she was the one laying next to him. Back then he had her in his arms and didn't even know it was her, and now, looking back he understood why spooning her and keeping her warm felt good, felt right. Because having her in his arms was right.

Still, right now, he wanted nothing more than to taste those lips once more.

His eyes found hers again and there was something there that told him she wanted the same, but somehow it wasn't surprising that she wanted him… Physically. What was surprising was that spark in her eyes, the one she might not have been aware of yet, the one that said… That maybe there was something more to it. Something deeper. Something emotional.

Sam immediately released her from his grip and coughed, trying, trying and failing to move on from an awkward situation. Julia's gasp was really silent this time, he did not hear it, nor did he see the sadness and disappointed in her eyes, all laced with confusion of why she was feeling… Well, anything.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"No, it was my fault…" She tried.

"I wasn't watching where I was going…" He said at the same time…

So they both huffed a laugh that was anything but genuine.

"So, did you get in?" Julia asked averting the subject.

"No, it won't budge… I was on my way to the storage, I saw a crowbar there and…" Sam replied and saw Juls raise her hand to stop him from talking.

"That's ok. I'll get it." She said, turned away from him and got away from there as fast as she could.

_What the hell was that?_ – They both wondered, both unsure if they wanted anything to happen, both regretful nothing did.

Five minutes later, four minutes too long, Julia emerged with a crowbar and a weak excuse she couldn't find it straight away. Sam smiled politely at her as he took the crowbar, then jammed it between the door and the doorframe and tried his mightiest to pry it open. Still, the door persisted. Twenty minutes later, Julia would have been in a full laughing fit at Sam's failed battle with the door if it wasn't for such a defeated look on his face. Not that he didn't try to hide it, but he was still tired and she was just too observant, a trait any good hunter possessed.

She slowly reached and tugged Sam's sleeve, making him flinch and shoot her a look, as if she just woke him from a dream (or a nightmare), not just tried to get his attention. She recoiled at the look in his eyes and shifted a bit uncomfortably before speaking. "Maybe... Um, maybe we should try again later... We are both tired and could use some more rest..." She offered, seeing this whole situation is getting to him.

Sam brought his gaze down to the ground and then at the door, frowning and thinking for a second before he brought his eyes back on her, a quivering determination flashing upon his face. "No, I think... I need to try harder. I need to try something else..."

"Okey... - Juls said trying to be helpful – maybe, um... Maybe there is something else in storage we could use, I... We could go and check it out." She offered, changing the I into We just to get Sam away from that door. It was his turn to get overwhelmed with slight desperation of the finality of this situation and it was now her job to get him out.

"Yeah, yeah... - Sam replied, vigorously nodding – We should do that..." And he got up, heading straight for the storage room again, Julia followed right behind him. For a second a silly thought crossed her mind that he would stop abruptly and she would slam into him again and if that happened she would _accidentally _grab his ass for her troubles. The thought might have been silly, not that she didn't feel really, really attracted to the guy, but it all gave her an idea. An idea that just might help cheer him up. As silly as it may be.

After reaching the storage, they both looked around trying to find something that might open the door. Julia picked up a fire extinguisher, but quickly dismissed it, because if the crowbar didn't work, the extinguisher wouldn't either. Sam found a bunch of keys, the ones Julia recognized as ski-jet keys, but there were unfamiliar keys in the bundle too. After close examination, Sam sighed and hung them back where they were, certain that none was of the room. They were either too big, too small or not the right shape. None came even close.

Sam almost threw himself in a chair that was there, deflated and looking defeated. It is easy to lose hope in situations like these and he knew it, he knew when he decided to speak about his brother and him, about their adventures just to lift Julia's spirit a bit. But the dreadful feeling crept up on him, leaving him to feel useless and unable to do anything right. His eyes were focused on the ground, his thoughts somewhere distant from reality and his expression tired.

"Sourpuss."

"What?" Sam asked, not sure if he heard Julia right, not even sure she said anything.

"What?" Julia said with a teasing smile, playing dumb.

"No, I asked... Never mind..." Sam said shaking his head, but at least he didn't go back to that funky mood he was in just a moment ago.

"Oh, would you look at that?" Julia said looking over an open box, and leaned in to reach something from it, her movements seductive and her voice slightly flirtatious.

"What did you find?" Sam asked with genuine intrigue, and watched her straighten up, holding a small box in her hands. He huffed a smile as he watched her pull out playing cards out of the box and shuffle them clumsily, dropping a few and reaching down to pick them up, with certain... let's call it - grace to her movements. If one can call wiggling their ass in someone's face graceful. But she was pulling it off, sparking his interest and he huffed another, more genuine laugh. Oh, he knew that game.

He and Dean played it a million times, but she was way better at it, probably because she was a woman and could use her sex appeal to add to her game making her a far better predator in the scam business. Despite the fact he knew her game, he still let himself be pulled in, just to see what will happen, welcoming the distraction. Naturally, she knew he knew, they were both hunters after all, but she hoped he would get hooked regardless, just to get their minds off this whole situation.

"You play?" Julia asked with a raised brow, her lips tugging into a semi-smile.

"Depends on the game." Sam replied with a half smile of his own.

"Poker, naturally. What other game would be worth a hunter's attention? Aside from pool..." Julia said, a more warmer, genuine smile gracing her face. She knew Sam was on board, so she dropped her flirtatious act, but when she saw Sam nod, accepting the game, she couldn't help but tease.

"How 'bout we make it interesting and play strip poker?" She asked, only half serious. The face Sam gave her could only be described as a toned down bitch face with a hint of amusement, his smile widening and consequently hers too. Yeah, that might have been a no on the strip poker offer, but Julia might have another idea that could be welcomed a bit better.

"Ok, no strip poker, but we could take more ice-cream and head back to the room, play on the bed and... chill." Julia said and Sam considered it for a moment. He would prefer fresh fruit or even canned one over the ice-cream, but something inside of him went along anyway, thinking that at least they had something positive that could cheer them up. Ice-cream was definitely in that category.

"Sure. Let's go." Sam said getting up. They picked up a bowl of ice-scream from the kitchen and went back to the bedroom, each sitting on the opposite side of the bed. Julia shuffled the cards and after Sam made the cut, she dealt.

They stayed up, playing, using chips Juls found next to the cards. Even if it would have been fun to play for clothes instead for the chips, this was good this way to. They played and laughed, and Sam let her win most of the time, despite being way better at it, a certain male witch could attest to that. Not that Patrick would ever admit defeat against a Winchester, but he knew. And Sam knew.

Still he was no fool and didn't let her figure it out until it was too late, and she had most of his chips.

"You were letting me win!" Juls finally said accusingly.

"No, I wasn't." Sam said with serious appalled expression, but the smile tugging at his lips was just a bit evident.

"Yes, you were! Admit it!" Julia said glaring at him, but smiling.

"I will admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations." Sam said, now with a wide smile.

"Okey, alright... I see... - Juls said with fake offense and then smirked – I bet if we played strip poker, you would be singing a different tune..."

Sam almost choked on the last scoop of his melted ice-cream and blushed rose red at the image. He debated saying he would be a gentleman and let her win, but it was a loose-loose situation either way. Or so he wanted to believe. But he anyway couldn't tell her that, because that would be him admitting he did let her win, and he wouldn't do that.

And just when a random thought crossed his mind of how poker was suddenly more important then finding a way out of there, and how this felt a lot easier then worrying about if they will ever make it back to the States, it was right then that a loud noise broke the silence. A loud sound that was clearly coming from the vents and then the heating went off. Sam looked up at the vents, confusion crossing his face and as he brought his gaze down, he caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall that said 23:59:45. And just as the last second ticked and the midnight struck, the lights went out, engulfing them both in complete darkness. Again.


	19. Oh, won't you please take me home?

After helping Dean get in the back, Sara went and sat in the driver's seat, both arms extended firmly gripping the steering wheel, her eyes like lasers darting what was in front of her, beyond the windshield. To her left was the scene of the fire, the yellow glow of the flames shining upon her, but she made no attempt to glance back at it. She seemed like a cold statue, eyes staring blankly somewhere distant, her whole body rigid and her breathing slow, almost nonexistent. Dean felt devastated and uncertain if he should even say anything, if he had the right to..

A part of Dean wished he could just give a pat on the back, a sympathetic look and walk away like he and his brother did so many times after a hunt, after they put the monster down and said their goodbyes to the victim's families. But he couldn't do that, not this time. It isn't just because he didn't take care of the monster. Nor was it because he cared about Sarah a bit more then he was willing to admit to himself. No, it was because this time around, this really was his fault.

A thought crossed his mind that this is just the sort of thing that Chuck would write, but he knew better. He wasn't a puppet anymore and all actions and decisions were his own. Even the decision to pull Sarah into this whole mess. He was the only one to blame.

A part of Dean wished he could just run away. But he knew he had to face the music and try and help Sarah as much as he could, in any way that he could. Naturally, he would understand if she wanted him gone, but he was worried that if that was the case, she would be a target for those vamps that were obviously still around. He needed to protect her.

No, he needed to make himself feel better by saying he will protect her, but so far he hasn't done a very good job of it. Truth was, she has done that so much better. She helped him out of that warehouse, drove them to the hospital and even managed to evade the vampires at the hospital. Maybe he needed her more then she needed him.

A good few minutes passed in silence, not that Dean didn't try to speak. He opened his mouth and after a few seconds he would close it when no words came out. What could he possibly say? Nothing could make this right, nothing ever will. It was her home, her safe haven, her life. And it all perished, consumed by fire. Out of all the ways this could have happened, it just had to be the damn fire.

Finally, Dean heard her sigh, but not in relief, more like she was trying to compose herself, get her bearings in order. It also helped push him along to finally utter something to say.

"I... I'm sorry..." He said, and immediately regretted it, closing his eyes in heavy pain. Who the hell was he to say that to her? What gave him the right to be sorry? She should just kick him out on the curb and be done with him. Sarah didn't reply, but he heard her breath hick-up for a moment and he couldn't just sit there and do nothing. So he swallowed hard and spoke up.

"I... I really am sorry, Sarah. It's all my fault, I should have never pulled you into all of this. I never should have asked for your help, never should have..." He breathed out heavily, feeling tears clouding his vision. "I never should have come to you in the first place. If I didn't, none of this would have happened, you... You wouldn't have been captured and hurt by those sons of bitches or had to watch them..." He was going to say 'beat me up', but maybe now that memory isn't one of the worst in her mind. He felt like he deserved every punch he got.

The worst thing was, after everything that happened, he was glad he didn't have to make eye contact with her, and see that she lost that spark, that joy and innocence he saw in her eyes when he first met her. The one that draw him to her, the one that made him feel like there was hope for him after all. If that spark is completely gone, he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

"I am so, so, sorry, Sarah. I cost you everything. Your life, your... Your home..."

"Home..." She whispered, her shoulders tensing from what Dean could see. His face scrunched up in pain, his lips pinched in a thin line and his eyes so watery, it was a miracle he could see. His chest ached and he just hung his head low, the words lost all meaning now.

"Home..." Sarah repeated, and Dean closed his eyes, wishing he could just drop dead right then and there.

"Home..." She said one more time, her tone different, questioning, curious. She finally brought her gaze down, looking at the steering wheel, like she was contemplating something, trying to figure out why that word has some significance now. Suddenly, she snapped her head back to look at Dean who drew a breath at her movement and she said, not paying attention to the emotions bubbling inside of him for now. "Your... home?"

Dean wasn't sure what she was asking, maybe neither did Sarah, but the first thought that came to mind finally managed to dislodge that tear and it slipped down Dean's cheek. He swallowed, having a even heavier feeling in his chest, as the visions of the fire consuming his childhood home attacked his mind. He looked out at the similar image that was outside and the ache grew, threatening to send him into a fit.

He flinched when she set her hand on his, and it was almost like she was drawing him back to reality, back to now. She looked at him with a touch of warmth in her eyes and spoke "No, not that one... Your home, now." Sarah said, looking uncertain of what she was asking. Dean figured she must be having a psychic thing, trying to figure out a vision she was having or something like that, so he went along, again, not sure if that is what she meant.

"My home, now? Well, we kinda live in a bunker in Lebanon, Kansas... I consider it home. And Baby... I mean, my car... We considered her home almost all of our life..." He said slowly, trying to get himself on that topic. He was confused as to why she was asking this, when she should be crying or yelling or having any reaction to the current situation. Still, he went along, if she was deflecting, who was he to try and stop that?

"That." Sarah said as she put the car in gear and slowly eased into traffic. "That's what we do next. That's where we need to go." She said, nothing but determination written across her face. She drove calmly even after a rude driver tried to cut her off, she didn't show any sign of emotion and Dean feared she was bottling it all up inside. He knew he should get her to talk, try and say something more to her perhaps, but nothing came to mind. Sam was always better at these kinds of things, and now, Dean wished he picked up on some of his brother's antics when it came to comforting.

They drove in silence, Dean deep in his thoughts to register where she was taking them, only realizing that when the big neon sign of the motel came into view. The same motel the vamps kidnapped them from. He knew he'd have to come back here for the car and their stuff, but he never imagined Sarah being bold enough to come back after what happened last time she was here.

But Sarah just parked the car two empty spaces away from the Impala, got out and then turned to help Dean out of the back seat. He limped his way out using the crutches, all the while searching her face for anything sign of emotion, distress, pain, anything. Sarah didn't even make eye contact with him, instead focusing on getting the injured man to the room. She tried to open it, but after finding it locked, she helped Dean lean on the wall next to it and said "Wait here, I'll go talk to the manager." Dean wanted to ask if she would be all right, he wanted to protest, he wanted to say something, anything, but she had already turned around and walked away.

She emerged with the manager a few minutes later, showing him that Dean was in fact in an accident and couldn't get to the reception. After a few explanations and lies, the manager finally gave them back the key which he found in the lock the night before, with the door ajar and no one in sight. Sarah paid what remained of the check. She helped Dean inside, helped him to the bed and then turned around, looking over at the room.

"I'll pack your and your brother's stuff and then we can hit the road." She said, getting to work, picking up Dean's duffel first.

"Sarah…" Dean tried, but was met with a lifted hand that just said don't, and blue eyes that flickered in slight fear. Fear that if she did this now, she would fall apart and not do what she was supposed to. So Dean closed his mouth and sadly watched her pack their stuff, and checking to see if she missed anything. She stopped and looked around, suspicion in her frown as she surveyed the room. Finally, she snapped her head towards the hunter, making him flinch and started walking towards him, a serious look in her eyes. She reached with her hand and Dean didn't know if she was going to hit him, but still he watched her proceed, feeling like whatever she did, he had it coming.

Sarah brushed past him and went to the head of the bed, lifted the pillow and picked up his .45 Colt like she was the one that put it there in the first place. Dean slightly frowned but otherwise made no comment as Sarah shoved the gun in his duffel. Then she extended her hand towards him. "Gimme the keys."

"The… The keys?" Dean asked, confused for a second.

"The keys to the car. I gotta go put this in the trunk." Sarah said, looking towards the door. Dean gulped and paused for only a moment, and then reached into his pants pocket, fished out the keys and dropped them in her hand. Sarah turned and left the room, carrying the duffels and Sam's bag with his laptop and Dean lifted himself off the bed, grunting and darting the floor. When he finally managed to stand up straight, he raised his eyes to the door and with a heavy sigh started walking towards it.

Sarah just finished putting the bags in the trunk and closed the trunk door when Dean emerged from the room and she looked at him, this time not rushing to his side to help him walk, instead observing him as he reached the car. He came up to its right side, right between the passenger and the back door and set his hand on the roof, a pallet of emotions hidden behind those sad greens.

"I know what she means to you…" Sarah said as she circled back to him. "I know she is your home…" She said as she reached Dean whose eyes were still glued to his baby. Sarah put her hand over his and he lifted his gaze towards her. "It is either this, or we leave her here. And _I_ don't want to leave her behind." Sarah said and Dean's eyes searched her face for a moment. "I promise I will take good care of her." Sarah added and finally Dean nodded before reaching to open the back door.

With Sarah's help, Dean climbed into the back seat of his beloved baby and then watched as Sarah sat behind the wheel, glancing back at him reassuringly and then started the car with ease. Baby purred under the psychic's gentle hands and Sarah placed it into reverse, got out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Dean watched her with wonder and faith as she maneuvered the car in the busy streets of Miami, heading for I-75, the interstate that will lead them to Lebanon. In 25 hours of constant driving, give or take. He watched her closely, not knowing what was going on in her mind, and how could she just be ok after what happened. It wasn't until they went past city limits that he heard her suck in a sharp breath and then slowly release it.

Dean went to utter her name in a questioning tone, but before he got the chance, she answered it already. "I'm good, Dean. Really." She let that linger, pausing to glance at him in the mirror before focusing on the road.

"You shouldn't feel guilty, but I know nothing I say will prevent you from feeling like that." She said and Dean's brows furrow in slight emotional pain. "Don't do that. You're just as much to blame as me." Sarah said and Dean's head shot up.

"This wasn't your fault!" Dean almost shouted and before he could say more, she retorted back.

"Neither was yours!" She said and breathed out, calming herself and the situation. "I know what you're thinking. If you haven't asked for my help, none of it would have happened, am I right?" Dean said nothing, bringing his gaze back on his lap and giving out a small nod of confirmation she couldn't possibly see, but knew he did it anyway.

"Then I could have prevented it too, by refusing to help. I am a psychic, I should have seen it coming. I should have seen them coming…" She said with a pinch of disappointment and blame of her own.

"Sarah..." Dean spoke, trying to convey that he could never blame her for what happened in the warehouse, the way he said her name was enough for her to practically read his mind.

'I know, I know… My point is, we could play the blame game all the way home, but it isn't going to help anyone. And honestly… I don't feel bad about that place burning down…" Sarah said, not even sure of her own words.

"You're… You're not?" Dean asked with great confusion and a bit of shock.

"Yeah…" She said and then glanced at the mirror again, seeing the look on Dean's face, she quickly went to explain. "No, no, don't get me wrong. It was… My house, it was the place that welcomed me when no other would. And , yeah, I felt safe there, I felt like… I could be myself, just a bit. It knew my secrets. But it… It was never really my home, it never felt like that. Sometimes it felt like a prison, tying me to the belief that… That I am a freak and I should hide what I can do."

"But now… Now that it is gone… I… I almost feel… I feel like I'm free. Free to do what I want, how I want. Free to be me." She huffed a smile and glanced back at Dean, seeing some understanding there now, and then added "You know what? You can go back to blaming yourself. Cuz, yeah, it is your fault. It is your fault that I feel free… You showed me that it is ok to be what I am, to be me, and that I can use it to help… I could never thank you for that."

Dean huffed a smile too, but the worry remained on his face. She might claim she was fine, but she might not see it yet, she might not feel it yet, but eventually it will get to her. The loss of it, and especially the way she way she lost it – fire… It seems to be a common thing with them, and Dean couldn't help but see the connection to them, to Sam once more. Especially since both of their lives were marked by not one, but two fires.

The one that killed their mother and the one that got Sam into hunting again. And if Dean didn't know better he would think that this whole thing was a manipulation of sorts. But this time there was no Azazel, there wasn't even God to make it happen just to throw Sarah into this world. Not that Dean knew for sure she would stay in this world, not that he wanted her too. Shit, this was all just a bit too complicated now.

"What about… What about your father?" Dean asked and he could see her face taking on a slightly paler tone.

"He… He would just have to live with my decision." She said, her tone ending all discussion on the subject. Later when they stopped for food or restroom, she would pick up her cracked phone and call him, getting yet another voicemail, and leaving a message saying she was sorry for what happened, she was sorry for the fire and sorry for the house, but that she had every intention of following her own path from now on. She would end the call and put the phone into her pocket, never noticing that when she locked the screen, the phone completely froze, malfunctioning after all abuse it took.

After a few minutes of deafening silence, Sarah almost snorted before bursting out. "Ok, how about some music?" She said and turned the radio on, choosing some radio station with really cheery dance music. Dean frowned at her choice.

"I have some cassettes if you want… There's AC/DC and Metallica and…" He tried but got shot down.

"Sorry, I drive, I get to choose the music. Besides, we need something sing-able…" She said and upped the volume, singing along…

"When I kissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a kiss could be   
(I know how sweet a kiss can be)   
Like the summer sunshine pour your sweetness over me   
(Pour your sweetness over me)"

Sarah sang and Dean couldn't help but think back on his dream, on that beach and their kiss that seemed so real and so sweet, Dean's heart ached to feel it again. He just couldn't believe the strength a small shy creature like Sarah could have, the bravery and the resolve to see all this through. He couldn't, not for a second, think that maybe, just maybe she was doing this for him, that she just might care enough to be his rock and help him find his brother.

Sarah sang more, and Dean couldn't help but smile, seeing just a bit of that spark return to her eyes, that goofiness he is already starting to adore. So he leaned and listened to her sing, feeling just a bit more relaxed, but not without worries. And Sarah sang, sang and fought the tears that were clouding her vision, she wouldn't let them fall. No, she needed to stay on track and she needed to learn more about herself and what she could do, and most of all, she needed to help Dean. She needed to learn what were all those things suffocating the poor boy inside of him, and rip them all apart. She did not know why she needed to do that, she just knew she did. And she knew, right now, she had to sing...

"Sugar... Oh, honey, honey... You are my candy girl... And you got me wanting you..."


	20. River of dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's day!

Thud! BANG! "Oooouf!"

"You ok there, Sam?"

"Yeah, yup." Sam responded, his voice concealing the pain. "Just tripped over... Something."

"Seriously, if you can't even get out of bed without falling, how do you expect to reach the storage room and fetch the flashlights?" Julia teased. "Lemme help."

"No, no... You stay here..." Sam protested and could hear her scoff at that. He managed to get on his feet and feel around, using his hands as his eyes seeing the room was pitch dark. He felt the dresser that he knew was next to the door and then caressed the wall all the way to the door frame, clasping it with his palm. He turned to where he thought the bed was, as if Juls could see him and said "I'll be right back."

"And I'll wait right here, Schwarzenegger." Juls tease and then heard another loud thud followed by a grunt. She giggled imagining Sam either hitting a wall, or the door, trying to find his way around in the dark. He was a hunter, didn't anyone ever teach him stealth?

Sam moved quietly out of the bedroom and following the wall opposite of the bedroom door, he moved down the hallway. The soft carpet under his feet absorbed all sounds of movement, making Sam almost miss the sound of old boards in creepy houses he used to sneak around in. He took a left turn and felt with his fingers all the way to the Mass Hall door. Moving further down the hallway, he remembered the security doors, the ones he and Juls left wide open, they had a threshold, and he slowly felt around for it with his feet, not wanting to bump into it, trip and fall. He successfully moved past that and, still hugging the left wall, he proceeded to the maintenance room.

Thud! "Aaagh!" Sam yelled, catching his foot on something unexpected, which caused him to stagger and then hit the wall. He took a moment to breath in and out, flinching for a second when he thought he heard something. Pausing his motions, he listened in, and when no sound came, he leaned down to feel what was it that caught his foot. He found a heavy long, rod like object that curved at one end. Ah, yes, the forgotten crowbar. For a moment Sam wished he could just throw it away in anger, but he didn't want to make unnecessary noise and besides... A crowbar could be a decent weapon if you swing it right.

Finally, after ten or so minutes, Sam reached the storage room and was now going to have to go through it all to find the flashlights, because he did not remember where they were. The silence of the room was shortly replaced by noises of moving boxes, small thuds and a few louder bangs as Sam would knock something over. Ten more minutes of rummaging through the room left Sam with small cuts and bruises, but without the flashlights.

Suddenly, there was a noise by the door and Sam spun around, holding the crowbar high when he was blinded by a light. He raised his hand high and tried to block it, all the while squinting, trying to see who is holding the light.

"Relax, Ninja Turtle, it is only me, April." Julia joked, lowering the light. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, the box with the flashlights was right by the door – see..." She added, pointing her light at the cardboard box by the door. Sam just nodded and reached for an extra flashlight. He felt just a bit unnerved that he didn't hear her coming at all, but chalked it off to her being a good hunter. He wasn't getting old, na-huh.

He turned to head to the maintenance room, to see if he could do anything, even though he doubted it, but as Julia stood in his way, he couldn't help but look at her, and then feel a slight tingle in the pit of his stomach. Her loose long brown hair merged perfectly into the darkness around her, her skin looking just a bit tanned in the absence of neon lights this place had. Her dark-pink lips were curled into a half-smile and her eyebrows were raised in amusement as her deep brown eyes that mimicked the darkness watched him.

Sam cleared his throat and moved past Julia, heading off to the maintenance room. Julia followed, keeping her flashlight raised to help Sam check out the generator and its parts. Sam spent close to an hour checking the cables and switches all over the generator, Julia keeping the flashlight directed wherever he needed it, not saying a word, not moving an inch unless it was to man the flashlight at a different point. It was only upon an hour that Sam noticed the light started shivering, and he frowned before turning his head to look at Julia.

Sam felt the chill creep up his body, but he was too focused on the generator to notice just how cold the room had gotten. He turned to look at Julia and held his own flashlight upon her, seeing her blink and squint her eyes at the light. But a second later, she brought her eyes back on him as he lowered the light a little, and Sam took a shallow breath seeing the woman before him. She was still stunning under the battery's light, but her pink lip was turning slightly purple, quivering and Sam could see every breath she let out. Julia was shaking a bit, but glared at him, not saying a word. She was so stubborn, too proud to say she was cold, and Sam couldn't help but feel a pinch of guilt. He should have seen it sooner.

He looked into her eyes, clearly contemplating of what he was to do, and then, slowly, he walked over to her and raised his hands, gently pulling her into his embrace, rubbing his big hands over her arms and back, and Julia leaned into him, her body searching for the warmth and she closed her eyes, the motions of his hands making her feel not just warm, but safe as well.

"As nice as this is, you're gonna give a girl ideas..." Julia tried to joke her way out of an awkwardly pleasant situation, making Sam huff a smile. She couldn't tell if he was blushing again, seeing she was tucked into his chest at the moment, gripping at his thick hoodie. They both had three layers, an undershirt, a shirt and a hoodie, but still, she could feel the warmth of his body through it all.

When Sam didn't reply, Julia debated whether to say it, this time not wanting to sound provocative, no hidden meanings behind her words, but she also didn't want to sound weak and in need of someone. So, naturally, it came out wrong. "Can we go to bed now?"

She crewed her eyes shot, hearing Sam stutter at that, feeling his tight hug loosen and she knew she said the wrong thing at the wrong time. It wasn't until he pulled away that she finally found words to explain what she meant, trying her damnest to sound serious and sincere.

"I... I don't know what is going on here, Sam, but I do know it is cold and we... It is obvious you won't find a way to fix that generator now, to get it to work and I can only hope it starts working in the morning again like it did before, but until then... We... We need to stay warm." There was a plea in her eyes that just begged him not to have to say more, to understand and just go and do it.

This time Julia could see the slight redness in his cheeks, but he nodded and motioned his head to the door, being a gentleman and letting her lead. In complete silence, they walked back to the bedroom, both deep in their thoughts, both worried about their situation, wondering if they are even going to wake up in the morning. But neither would admit it, that if today is the day they draw their last breath, they would both be glad it was while in each other's arms.

The awkward silence followed them into the room and they both looked into each other's eyes, making sure this was acceptable, then nodded and turned away from each other. Sam stripped down to his boxers, shaking when the cool air reached his bare skin, and he quickly ducked under the mountain of blankets they had on the bed, the same ones he brought in to keep Julia warm after her little trip outside. Sam turned his back to her, thinking it is the most appropriate thing right now. Nobody's freezing to death right now, and back to back plus the blankets should keep them warm enough to make it thought the night.

He could feel it when her knee dipped in the bed and he could feel her rushing under the covers, shaking. He imagined her in nothing but a sports bra, and following down the curve of her slim waist, her underwear, bare thighs of her long legs. But he quickly shooed those images away as he felt her lay down beside him. He did not need to go there now.

Sam gasped feeling her curl up against him, leaning her stomach and her chest (_no, not her breasts, they were still hidden under the bra – _Sam thought) against his back. She swung one hand over his arm, but then seemed to have changed her mind and wiggled her hand and her arm under his, her hand reaching the area between his stomach and his chest, and just... Lingering there.

"Wha..." Sam tried, feeling the burn on his cheeks, not from her actions, but from his thoughts. He tried to ask her what she was doing, why was she spooning him now, spooning being used loosely as she was smaller then him.

"Just repaying the favor. You kept me warm last night, tonight it's my turn." Julia said softly. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything..." She added and Sam could practically hear the soft, kind smile that caressed her lips. He did, however gasp when he felt her leg moving in between his thighs, but she just lodged it there and let it be. She leaned with her cheek on his back, bending the other arm under her head for support and then stilled her movements.

Sam could feel her breathe, and the small motions her chest made at every breath she took, but other than that, she didn't move, she didn't let her hand venture, nor did she set her lips on the patch his of skin that was so close to her face. Not that Sam wanted her to, no... He didn't want to feel her hand caressing his stomach, moving up to touch his chest or just simply move anywhere, her soft fingers tracing the outline of his muscles. He did not want her lips on his back, he did not want to feel her hot breath on his skin, nor did he want her to move that leg between his thighs. No, nope, not, no-sir-e.

"I'm sorry." Julia suddenly said followed by a sigh. Sam was confused for a moment, so he said nothing, allowing her to continue.

"I'm sorry. About last night and... me taking off like that... It's just that I panicked and... I … Um... It's just that..." She tried, clearly struggling about what she wanted to say. Sam listened and could hear the struggle in the tone of her voice, so he set a comforting hand over hers and whispered.

"You don't have to explain if you don't want to. I get it. And it's all right..." Sam started to say, knowing that a life of a hunter can be hard sometimes, and that sometimes you have to make tough decisions that might come back to haunt you or you get into situations that would drive a normal person mad, but Julia stopped him.

"No, it's not all right. It wasn't fair to you. I am the one that had a break down and you had to... It... It wasn't fair to you." She took a deep shuddering breath and reluctantly kept talking. "This place just reminded me of... It reminded me of the way I lost Jake, it was a warehouse similar to this station. And the feeling of being trapped here... It... It just brought so many bad memories and I... I just had to get out... I just had to get out..." By the time she finished, Sam was holding her hand firmly, wanting so badly to turn around and hug her, but the way she was holding on to him seemed enough for her so he just stayed like that.

A part of him expected to hear a soft cry, or at least feel some wetness on his back, but he had to remind himself, she was stronger or more stubborn to let the tears fall. She was so much like his brother in that department, and he knew just how difficult it was for her to say those words, to open up just a bit, and let him see what is behind that mask. Much like Dean, she kept a facade and buried all of her feelings deep inside. It wasn't healthy, but Dean was coping somehow, and by the looks of it, Julia was too.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a light snoring and Sam couldn't help but smile at how adorable it sounded. There were, of course so many things he wanted to say, to comfort her, to show her it was ok, that he understood and was glad he could be there for her, but he figured Julia already somehow knew that. Whether it was his hand on hers, or the way they were just a bit more comfortable with each other, the intimacy that was thrust upon them from the first moment making them grow closer faster than normally, making them comfortable with each other.

Still, Sam couldn't help but allow his mind to be a bit invaded by the thoughts of what could happen if they grew even closer, if they tried to form a... No, Sam couldn't go there. Not with his life as it was, not with the short life expectancy of his partners. No, Sam wouldn't, couldn't allow that to happen.

At yet, he found himself drifting off to sleep thinking about Julia's body, about the softness of her skin and the thickness of her lips and that damn smile that was somehow half shy half a smirk, like she knew your deepest darkest secret and teased you about it, but you knew she wouldn't say a thing to anyone.

* * *

It was around 10 AM when Sam jolted awake and, not feeling the warmth of another's body by his side, he lifted himself up and turned around. Julia was in fact... Not there. It was a little unnerving, thinking for a moment he did not know where she was, but he forced himself to calm, quickly dressing up. Her clothes were missing and she was most likely in the kitchen, having breakfast or in the bathroom, taking a shower. She wouldn't go out again, by herself, would she? Of course not, not after what she said last night. However, that did not stop Sam from quickening his pace, heading out the door.

There were no sounds in the bathroom and after a quick peek, Sam went on towards the kitchen. Something was telling him he would find her there. In fact, something strange was telling him he would almost always find her there, in a kitchen.

And there Juls was, standing over a counter, scooping up the leftover ice-cream for one of the many buckets they have. She lifted her head when he entered and smiled so brightly at him, he felt his knees buckle for a second. She had her hair loose again, the ends of it wet, indicating she took a shower. Her cheeks were a bit flushed and her skin a bit pale under the neon lights and it was only then that Sam realized that the power and heat was back on.

He couldn't believe he didn't notice it before. His mind was so occupied with thoughts of Julia that he completely missed the fact that it was light and warm in the station. What was happening to him?

"Morning, sunshine. - Julia said with a smile – You look like you were electrocuted, you know that? Want some breakfast?"

Sam nervously ran his hand through the mess of his hair, trying to straighten it, all the while sporting a shy smile. "I think I'll take a shower first... When, um... When did the power..."

"Around 8 AM. Woke me up. So I took a shower and then roamed the place for a while, tried to fix the radio, but I need a few jacks to replace, so..." Julia spoke as she sat down at the table, taking a mouthful of ice-cream and then kept talking. "I was thinking of looking for that later, and that we could maybe... Gear up and... Head out..." She spoke between chews, seeming like she couldn't speak straight because her mouth was full, and not because of that lump in her throat.

"Of course, after you shower and eat..." She added with a smile, and unconsciously she took that spoon in her mouth and licked it clean in a bit of a seductive way. She didn't really mean to do that, not like that, but she did, and Sam felt a jolt going through his system. Blushing only a bit (he was getting better at controlling his blushes), he huffed a smile and agreed with her.

He excused himself and after picking up some clean clothes, he took a quick shower, lingering maybe a bit too long in front of the mirror. He shooed off all the thoughts about his age and moved away from the mirror, like he was offended that it showed him this image of an older man. He didn't even want to ponder about where have the years gone. No, he had better things to do.

"What, no ice-cream for breakfast?" Julia asked in a cheery voice, looking over at Sam who microwaved a can of beans for himself, knowing it isn't really the healthiest thing, but it was the best they had. This is where Julia learned Sam was one of those – tofu eating, veggie slushy slurping people. She actually groaned at that, and swore that "after this was all over, I'm taking you to the best burger joint you have ever been to." Sam agreed with a smile.

It took them both a moment to realize what they both did there, not just expecting it to be an 'after this', but also expecting it to be a 'them' after this, at least as friends. Still, neither said a thing about it, and once Sam was finished with his meal, they headed to the storage room to gear up.

Aside from the snow suit they took the first time around, they also took thick jackets, gloves, googles and special snow boots. They made sure they brought enough water and a few cans of fruit and headed out towards the building.

A mile in, Sam turned back to glance at the station and he saw something that could be described as a big drill, probably used to drill into the snow in search for samples of soil or something similar. It was weird as to why all this equipment was still here when the place was clearly abandoned for a while. It took them close to three hours to reach the building and another half an hour to get it's generator running and the heat going.

It seemed like an annex building, and a garage for the snowmobiles that weren't there anymore, but not Sam nor Juls could figure out why it was this far away from the main building. There was a big area where they used to store the snowmobiles and where the generator was and two small rooms, one like an office with some paperwork and the other a storage room. They agreed for each to take a room and look what they could find.

Sam's eyes darkened and his brows kept deepening the frown as he looked through the papers in the office and read about the station's progress. His breath became heavier and he seemed to grow tired with each passing second. The small seed of depression grew and not even the appearance of Julia as she leaned on the office door and smiled could bring him up for this feeling of helplessness.

Julia's bright face quickly turned to worry as she asked "What's up? What did you find?"

Sam pushed the papers away from him and sighed heavily. "I... I was hoping to find something here that indicated someone might come back, someone might return and get us out of here. That someone might come back for all these old equipment and get us out. Or that we would at least find the snowmobiles and maybe try to reach the next station, but... It is pointless... It is abandoned, and nobody is coming..."

"Why do you think so?" Julia asked, nothing but curiosity in her eyes. Sam looked up at her, some strange guilt in his eyes before he responded.

"Because this station used to belong to the Roman Industries... And we... My brother and I... We killed Dick Roman."


	21. Invisible touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincere apologies to everyone for the hold up on this story, but I was not at blame. No, if you want to blame anyone, start with Summer first and then move on to the story that consumed me called "It's all in the blood"  
Link:  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16853797/chapters/39570061
> 
> It is so filled with Dean angst and hurt and pain and it is so sad and it makes you want to punch Mary in the face... 
> 
> Well, here is the chapter, I hope you enjoy.

Dean woke up feeling rested despite the fact that he slept cramped up in the back seat, the itch still bugging him under the cast. He had no idea how he was able to fall asleep, but it was more then welcomed. He remembered grabbing the front seat in order to pull himself up a bit, change position and then gasping feeling her hand on his.

"You should sleep, rest for a while." She had suggested, but he shook his head, saying he was good. Still, strangely he found himself drifting off not ten minutes later, feeling safe and warm all around. And now he was waking up, another of Sarah's cheery songs blasting out of the radio making Dean frown. Not because it was cheesy dance music that was corrupting his Baby, no, it was the lyrics that kinda got to Dean, crawled up his skin and made him wonder if the universe was trying to tell him something.

_ "She seems to have an invisible touch yeah _   
_ She reaches in, grabs right hold of your heart _   
_ She seems to have an invisible touch yeah _   
_ It takes control and slowly tears you apart. _

_ I don't really know her, I only know her name _   
_ But she crawls under your skin, you're never quite the same, and now I know _   
_ She's got something you just can trust _   
_ It's something mysterious _   
_ And now it seems I'm falling, falling for her." _

_Did he say can or can't trust?_ – the thought crept up Dean's mind and for a second Dean contemplated if he can indeed trust Sarah? Let's be realistic here, it was all a bit too convenient, and it had a very familiar story to it. A supernatural creature offering her help with promises of rescuing his brother while misleading him into doing something she wanted. Ruby much? But no, Dean dismissed the thought immediately. It was him that came to her. It was him that told her about the supernatural. Despite the fact that it was her that was leading them to the bunker now, Dean still couldn't stop trying to shake off those annoying thoughts of a paranoid hunter. He wanted to trust her, he needed to trust her.

_ "She don't like losing, to her it's still a game  
And though she will mess up your life,  
You'll want her just the same..." _

No matter what, Dean could see it clearly. He was falling for her and falling hard. And it was those mixed feelings that weight down on him. Even if she wasn't, and in his mind she definitely wasn't the bad guy here, he couldn't see a future with her. Not with his life, not with his luck. Besides, he doesn't deserve someone like her.

"Morning, sunshine... " Sarah said and smiled at the rear view mirror and her smile washed over him like a warm ray of sunshine on a cold winter morning.

"Morning?" Dean questioned. It was late last night that they set off and as Dean looked around it was becoming clear that the sun has risen and high enough to be around eight or nine in the morning. "Have you been driving all night?" Dean wondered. As much as he was eager to reach the bunker and try a locating spell for Sam or crack one of the books that could help him see what happened, he was still concerned.

At Sarah's small nod and "Aham." another thought came to him and this time, he voiced it . "When was the last time you slept?" Between being unconscious at the warehouse, the hospital and now asleep in the car, he has yet to see her sleep or rest in any way. And who can forget being unconscious from being hit with a frying pan? Some hunter he was.

"Well, now that you mention it, I guess I could use a little down time. I slept a bit at the hospital while you were under, and I have been purely going on of this music…" A sound of a very loud yawn interrupted her own words and she flexed her shoulders and her neck, trying to loosen the stiff feeling in them.

"Alright! – Dean said lifting himself upright a bit – Start looking for a motel sign. You need to rest and frankly, I could use a normal bed too." That last part was said more to make her not argue back, because Dean had a feeling she would. She was just too driven and too quiet about the loss of her home. He knew that look in her eyes, he knew it well. He used to see it in the mirror when he felt he had to push forward and not let his feelings weigh him down. They might drown him.

So he faked a yawn of his own and stretched his arms as wide as it was possible, making it seem like he was going stiff in the car. Sarah kept nodding, more and more unconsciously as her mind seemed to be wondering away somewhere far. But then she visibly flinched and put on a bright smile, still nodding. "Yeah, let's do that." She said and paid more attention to the signs by the road.

They were just outside McDonough near Atlanta, Georgia and after just a couple of minutes they came across a bunch of signs for motels, and Sarah chose the closest one called Budget Inn. Dean had to huff a smile at the name, it would most certainly be one of the cheapest ones, but still he hopped that it would be decent.

The parking lot was full, and somehow, Sarah managed to find a parking space right in front of the reception office, so after she helped him out of the car, they went inside to see if there is any vacancy. They were welcomed by an older gentleman with slow motions, but a wide polite smile.

"Good morning and welcome to Budget Inn. My name is Harry Budget and I own the place. What can I do you for?" The old man asked with a slightly cheery voice.

"Hello. We need a room to rest up, got anything available?" Dean asked, not as cheerfully, but with a smile of his own. The old man reminded him of those sweet old geezers that would talk about old times and give out candy.

"Well, sir, you're in luck. As a matter of fact I have just the perfect room for you two love birds, the last one left. One king, a lovely bathroom with a tub and a small kitchenette..." Harry proceeded to say as he turned around to pick up a key from the key cabinet and Dean's face covered in slight shock, before heat rose to his cheeks and he stuttering interrupted the old man.

"I... I'm sorry, Harry... I, um... Do you by any chance have two queens?" He asked and chanced a look at Sarah, who had a small, barely noticeable smile as her head was hung low in a shyly manner. Now, Dean wouldn't normally act like this, no he would either welcome a possibility to share a bed with a beautiful woman such as Sarah, or, and this one was more likely, offer to sleep on the floor. No, the old Dean would have laugh so hard at this Dean's reaction. _Why am I acting like a little teenage girl?_ Dean thought.

But it was much deeper than just simply having a crush and a lot more serious. Dean felt some of his walls crumbling before Sarah, leaving him exposed and vulnerable. And he wasn't sure that was a good thing.

"Oh, sorry. Im afraid that's all we got." The old man spoke, jolting Dean from his thoughts. He looked so sadned and glanced between the pair before he brough his gaze down on the keys in his hand. With a sigh, he turned to put them back when he was startled by a bit louder "No..."

Huffing an awkward smile, Sarah kept going. "No, um... We'll take it." She glanced at Dean and then down at his broken leg and Dean knew she was worried about him. But looking back at her, she could see the slight bags forming under her eyes and the tired expression on her face and he nodded. If she wanted, they would share the bed, they were both adults that can simply share a bed without getting intimate, right? But he would offer to sleep on the floor first, knowing deep down, a girl like Sarah would never allow it.

However, as Harry lead them to the room they paid for, which was right next to the reception office – 1B, Dean was completely taken by surprise by Sarah's offer. "I can sleep on the floor." She said. He did not expect such a scenario, never would have thought she would offer that. Alas, the age of male cavalry has long passed and was nowadays replaced by female independence and their need to be treated the same. Dean didn't mind that, not at all, but to allow her to sleep on the floor?

"Out of the question. **I** will sleep on the floor." Dean responded.

"Not a chance!" Sarah countered a bit harshly. "Not with that leg you're not!" She said with slight anger directed at Dean. He was the one that was hurt, he was the one that needed to rest properly. She frowned at him, for a second feeling like he must have been doing that most of his life. Putting other's first. That might not have been so bad if not for the fact that he was putting himself last. Every time. "We'll share." Sarah finally added, a bit shyly but with a sort of determination that said she wouldn't take no for an answer. To that, Dean reluctantly nodded.

They both stood dumbfounded when Harry unlocked the room and they followed him in. The room was quite nice, clean and simple. But what had them share a confused look and what had Harry scratch his hair and he frowned was the fact that the room actually had two queen beds instead of one king sized one. Harry seemed stuck in a spot, wondering did he lead them to the right room, but it had to be as this one was the only one available. Then, after a minute or so, he seemed to have had an epiphany as he exclaimed "Oh my! I completely forgot!"

It was then that he turned to the pair with an apologetic look and explained "I must apologize, I completely forgot we had this room changed from a single bed to a double." It probably had to do with the fact that a honeymoon type of room was a bad choice to be placed right next to the reception, but Harry did not mention that.

"No, that's great./ That's perfect!" Both Dean and Sarah said at the same time, a bit too eagerly. "We will take it." Dean added and Harry nodded with a polite smile before he left them. Both of them half sighed, half huffed out a smile and glanced at each other.

This way they could keep pretending that neither felt the spark between them. They could keep pretending they aren't drawn to each other.

Sarah insisted she brought in all of their stuff into the room, but "all of the stuff" only turned out to be one big duffle bag that belonged to Dean and a small rucksack that Sarah had on her. It didn't escape Dean how she looked sadly at the last item she owned aside from the clothes on her. But she quickly changed her expression, putting on an assuring smile before speaking.

"I'm gonna go check if there is a gift shop or something, I need new clothes… Might see if there is any food too. I'll be back in a few… Why don't you take the first shower?" Sarah suggested and Dean nodded, not really sure what to say. So badly he wanted to comfort her, but it really did seem like she needed no comforting. Yes, she was sad, but she seemed to be dealing with it, and besides, what could Dean say? He couldn't fix what happened. He couldn't bring that house back, not with all the memories that it had. All he could do is be there when she breaks down, which he suspected will happen eventually.

Saddened by the thought of Sarah falling apart, he averted his eyes to the ground and nodded, and then raised his eyes to watch her leave the room, the ponytail bouncing as she walked away. There was something mesmerizing that made him want to smile upon the sight of that ridiculously funny ponytail bouncing so joyously, and it instantly made him feel a bit better. He will be there for her, no matter what.

Dean took some clean clothes from the duffle and went to the bathroom, but it wasn't until he started stripping that he realized he still had a cast on and that the shower is going to take some maneuvering, as he isn't supposed to get it wet. And since it was a tub and not a shower, he couldn't just stick his leg out of the curtain. The tub was deep and there was a real change that he might slip and fall and…

No, strangely, he didn't think he could hit his head and die. No, Dean's first thought of falling in the tub and getting hurt is that he might not be able to move and he would need help. Considering there was only one person that could help him, his cheeks burned with the image of Sarah coming in and seeing him… Naked.

"Get a grip!" Dean ordered himself, embarrassed and confused as to why, out of a huge pallet of thoughts he could have for falling in the shower, it were these that came to mind. Thoughts of Sarah seeing him naked, reaching out and holding his arm, torso, touching him in order to help him up, her proximity, her soft hands, her warm touch, her worried eyes, her lips…

Yeah, so much for getting a grip on himself.

Shooing all those thoughts, Dean decided it was the best option if he just laid down and took a bath. Or showered while lying in the tub. Yeah, that would work. He took a small chair that was in the bathroom and pulled it closer to the tub before he slowly and carefully lowered himself in the tub. Pulling his leg high, he took it over the rim of the tub and placed his foot on the chair, making sure that the cast was completely out of the reach of the water. It was only then that he opened the tap and gritted his teeth at the cold water. But the temperature soon changed and Dean found himself relaxing in the warm water.

Dean didn't hear when Sarah returned, so the knock on the bathroom door startled him. "Hey, everything ok in there?" Sarah's voice came through and for some reason it made Dean smile.

"All cool. Should be done soon, so you could have the shower to yourself." Dean replied.

"Ok… - she stretched the word a bit sadly for reasons unknown – You just make sure you don't get that cast wet, ok?" Dean responded back affirmatively and wondered why she sounded so sad. He could hear some scuffle that sounded like a bag of chips being opened and he decided to hurry along, to allow Sarah to wash up too. She needed to rest and to sleep and Dean wanted to make sure that happened sooner rather than later.

He unplugged the tub and waited till the small amount of water drained before attempting to get up. He needed both feet securely inside the tub before he could try and get out, and for that there couldn't be any water in it. Once the tub was empty, he slowly pulled the other leg in and carefully got up, shifting his weight to the other leg and holding himself on a towel rack. Just as he was about to set the injured foot down, the rack broke, making him stumble and slip, but he was able to stay on his feet. It did require him to put some weight on the broken leg, and it hurt like a sonofabitch, but at least he didn't fall.

Slowly exiting the tub, a bad feeling arose inside of him and he gasped when he realized what it was. The sound of the rack breaking and his grunts should have alarmed Sarah that something might have happened, and knowing her, she would have made sure Dean was alright. Whether it would be her pounding on the door, demanding to know what happened or storming in on high alert and… But she didn't. In fact there was no sound coming from the room, which made Dean really uneasy. Without a second to loose, he wrapped a towel around his waist and stumbled out of the bathroom, forgetting the crutches.

A sigh of utter relief escaped him when he saw her curled up on a bed, sound asleep. She must have fallen asleep while waiting for him to finish. He limped over to her and a small smile flashed upon his face as he watched her relaxed expression while she was sound asleep. God she looked so beautiful right now. Her breath even making her chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm, her round face half buried right under the pillow, her luscious lips half parted and a string of her blond hair falling over her eyes and nose. He reached out and put it away as gently as he could, but she still steered in her sleep. He held a breath as he covered her with a blanket and watched her steer some more, but luckily she didn't wake.

After managing to get dressed back in the bathroom, Dean took a bag of chips that was on the small table in the kitchenette and ate it while watching Sarah sleep. _Yeah, not creepy at all, Dean._ He thought to himself and decided to pull on the curtains and catch some more shut eye. He laid on the other bed, but couldn't help glancing over at Sarah a couple of times. Eventually, he decided to turn so that she was in his view constantly and with thoughts of worry for her, he drifted off.

* * *

Another Michael drowning nightmare came to Dean's dream that night, but he smiled it away, knowing it would turn into an amazing day on the beach. So when that didn't work, nightmares of hell attacked his mind next, but it didn't matter as long as he knew Sarah was right there, her sleeping figure just at the arms length. Alastair first mocked and then tried the physical abuse, but none of the knives seem to be able to cut into Dean. The demon had to call for reinforcements.

Azazel smirked as he let the fires of hell consume Dean before showing him his mother on the ceiling first and then Sam's Jess. The reminder of Sam stung and Dean was filled with worry for his brother, but not fear as he was certain they will find him. Sarah was so sure that their bunker held the key, she felt some connection there and Dean knew, he believed with all his heart that she was not wrong.

In one last attempt to torment him, Azazel left the fire going, but changed the scenary.

Dean's breath hitched as he stood outside Sarah's house that was engulfed in flames and fear finally filled his mind as he saw - Sarah was nowhere to be found. A loud scream cut right through his chest and without thinking Dean ran inside the flaming building. He searched and called out to Sarah between coughs. Azazel was successful this time and Dean's heart shattered into million of pieces when he finally found Sarah, in a long white nightgown, her abdomen bleeding, her long blond hair spread out around her as she was pinned to the ceiling while fire consumed her.

Dean cried out and fell to his knees and as he watched Sarah perish into the flames, he felt himself consumed by it too and he welcomed the warm embrace of the fire. It felt so soothing. It felt so peaceful. It felt so safe.

And then Dean looked up. He looked up into those two piercing blue orbs, those bright loving eyes and he found himself being embraced by Sarah as she rocked them back and forth, humming something familiar. It was then that Dean realized that he was in a sitting position, while she was kneeling on his bed, and he figured he must have tossed and turned, probably even shout while having the nightmare.

The images of fire and Sarah dying still vivid in his mind, he remained in her arms, breathing on and out and not moving for a few minutes. She had such a soothing effect it was almost intoxicating. And soon it wasn't just his mind that was calm, but his heart was beating strong and dared he say happy. His ear was pressed to her chest and he could hear her breathe and humm and he raised his head up at her once more.

Their eyes met, and her humming quieted down slowly as he gazed up at her. There was slight confusion in her eyes that seem to say she wasn't sure if she was reading his look right. But Dean did infact watch her with a plea, with hope of having her soft pink lips brush against his and he waited, waited for her to either move away or let it happen.

He waited and waited until he couldn't wait any longer and he lifted his hand up to her neck and touched it gently, slowly pulling her closer and closer. He could hear her breathing pick up, but she allowed herself to be lead down and when their lips finally met, the world around them exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please.


	22. Since we've no place to go, let it snow

Julia's was staring at Sam, her mouth slightly ajar, her brows frowning, her expression utterly baffled. Like she did not believe a word Sam said, like she couldn't grasp it all. Finally, after what seemed like minutes, Julia started blinking and regained some composure before opening her mouth to speak. But as soon as she opened it, she closed it back up, uncertain of what she wanted to say, to ask, where to even start.

"OK, so Leviathans – the biblical Leviathans." She said like she was naming an item on the list. "And... They came from Purgatory – the biblical purgatory?" Julia was establishing the basics. "And they possessed Dick Roman?" Now that was an actual question.

"No, they, um... Most likely ate him and their leader took his place..." Sam explained again, not sure if he should just go over it all once again for good measure. But Julia nodded in understanding and then kept listing things.

"Ok, so he... They... Overtook Roman Industries and... Put some mind numbing drugs in our food to... What, make their food more compliant?" Sam could see she was slowly coming to terms with it, so he just nodded, allowing her to continue. The more Julia frowned as she spoke, the more questions she asked and the more doubts she displayed, the more depressed Sam got. Well, maybe not completely depressed, it would be more like something between depression and self-loath with a side of guilt. Because after they 'took care of' Roman, they left the whole company just fall apart, people didn't even know what happened to most of the employees and the CEO.

No, not they. He. He let that happen. He went away and got involved with Amelia and forgot about his brother and about the family business and... And about Kevin too. Yeah, he left him to be hunted by Crowley and what did he do? He fixed air-conditioners in a cheap motel somewhere and had picnics outside in the nature and...

Sam Winchester hit a dog.

Sam leaned forward in his chair, took his hands and burried his head in them, sighing heavily. In his life he did a few things right, but so many wrong. He flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at Julia who was sitting in the chair opposite. She had a small but very comforting smile and was looking at him with those dark brown eyes that bore some strange warmth. But could he affor to get lost in a woman's eyes once again?

"Bottom line is that you took care of the bad guy and that's all that matters." Despite not knowing why exactly was Sam feeling blue, Julia seemed to know just the right thing to say to make him stop thinking about the past and start thinking about the present. Ok, so nobody is coming back any time soon and they have no transportation out of there. There is still the option of the radio. Or that Dean will find them, somehow.

"Yeah…" Sam responded meekly and with a forced smile while looking around the room. Finding nothing there but files in file cabinets and paper and office supplies, he turned to Juls. "You found anything interesting?"

"Actually I did!" Julia said excitedly, jumping out of her chair. Listening to Sam go on about Leviathans and Dick Roman almost made her forget about her find. "I found the jacks I need for the radio, an additional antenna aaaaandddd…" There was a mischievous spark in her eyes and a devilish smirk on her lips that kinda had Sam worried there for a minute.

"Cherries!" She finally exclaimed and all it did was make Sam look at her with clear confusion.

"What?" He asked.

"Cherries… You know, as in the fruit. I found a box filled with canned cherries. Oh, and pineapples too." Julia spoke as if she struck gold with that find and Sam had to huff a smile at her excitement.

"All right… Anything else?" He asked with both brows raised, knowing that if there was anything of real importance, Julia would have said so already. So if she did find anything more, it would only serve to lift their spirits and nothing else. Still, seeing her smile and get a bit excited about something as trivial as canned fruit brought some warmth to Sam's heart.

It might have had to do with her little goofy child-like innocence she displayed sometimes, that playfulness that seemed to draw him, but Sam knew that she too was trying so hard to keep it together, if her previous actions were anything to go by. So he played along, he played along for her sake and for his. At the end of the day, they needed each other, each other was all they had. That, and cherries now too, apparently.

"Oh, yea… I did find an interesting little box. Has something interesting in it. But I am not going to tell you what it is. It is a secret." Julia said with a wicked smile, making Sam smile again too as he play-pretended to roll his eyes. He said nothing, but Julia kept talking as if he was pushing to know what the box contained.

"No, nope, not gonna tell ya. It is my secret to keep and when I decide to share it with you, it is going to be a surprise, so don't bother asking me what's in the box. My lips are sealed."

Sam's eyes slid down to her lips for a second and not even he could tell what thoughts tried to creep up his mind, because he swatted them away immediatelly and just nodded at Julia. "Okay… How about we see if there is anything else of any use in this garage and then we will head back?"

"Sounds like a plan." Julia responded and let him lead the way. Once she was out the door, she reached back and pulled the knob, closing the door as if she was trying to seal away Sam's worries and bad feelings.

The only thing that they found that was of any use was a small sleigh, and that allowed them to move a few boxes of food and clothing they found in the building's storage. Oh, yes, and Julia's mystery box, too. Sam had to admit, he was curious as to what was within a box that was about the size of regular moving boxes. It wasn't anything heavy, but it wasn't really light either, or so it seemed when Julia carried it. He wasn't allowed near it.

Julia just kept smiling at him and catching his look whenever she could. Sam didn't know if she was just trying to offer support and make him feel better, or was it something more, but soon he found himself returning those looks and huffing awkward smiles. However deep down, he still felt a bit depressed and all things considered, a bit useless too. He was unable to find them a way out of there, and his hope of being found was wearing thin.

On their way back, Sam was walking ahead, pulling the sleigh with the boxes while Julia hung back by the sleigh, making sure they down fall deep in the snow, or that the boxes don't fall off. But Julia's focus was more on Sam. Sure he smiled and did what was expected of him, putting on a mask of everything being ok, but Julia felt deep down that it was just a mask, and that Sam was slowly losing hope. She knew she would have to do something about it.

Once they were back in the station, they shed their jackets and suits and hung them up so they could dry. Sam helped Julia take the boxes into the storage and kitchen He was deep in thought and doing things more robotically, so he flinched when Julia grabbed his wrist while he was trying to leave the kitchen.

"Slow down… Come. Let's grab a bite." Julia offered, and Sam looked down on her hand. But it wasn't until he brought his eyes back on Julia and nodded, that Julia let go of his hand, and for a moment he wandered if she wanted to say something else. Sam decided on Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup as they could use something warm after being outside and he opened two cans, poured them into two bowls and set out to microwave them. Julia took a big bowl and opened two different cans, pouring pineapples and peaches in it. She waited until Sam was busy with the microwave to pull something out of her special box and hide it where it was accessible, but not in plain sight.

The food was prepared in silence and they ate in silence too. Sam could feel Julia's eyes on him, but he didn't want to meet her gaze, knowing she was just trying to give out as much of encouragement as she could, encouragement that they will get out of there. But he just couldn't meet her eyes. He couldn't.

"You done?" Julia asked and she sounded a bit annoyed, or was it just Sam's imagination? Did she ask if he was done with his meal or done moping? The answer came as she took his empty bowl, placed it in hers and took them to the sink. Sam just remained seated for a moment longer, eyes distant, deep in thoughts. His shoulders relaxed as he blew out a heavy sigh, but tensed again when he heard a noise he did not expect. He whipped around to look at Julia only to find her holding a can of whip cream, pouring it over the fruit she had in the bowl, all the while smiling at him with a wide, playful grin.

She poured plenty, and set the can aside, then looked back at Sam. She bit her lower lip and smirked at him, rising an eye brow. "I guess we will leave that for later…" She said, sounding a bit seductive. She reached back for the third can, plucked two cherries from it and set them on the top of the whip cream.

Sam burst out laughing, and not faking it, not giving a short amused laugh, no. He was laughing hard, laughing from the heart. Such a genuine laugh put a wide smile on Julia's face too, and it lifted a bit of the burden for both of them, removed some guilt they both felt. Their laughter echoed throughout the halls of the abandoned station, filling it with some joy in God knows how long. Julia walked back to the table and sat, laughing at Sam's laughter. Sam was nearly doubling over.

Finally, after good ten minutes, Sam caught his breath, just barely enough to ask "So this is what was in that mystery box of yours?"

Julia shrugged with a smile her eyes looking up and she looked so mischievous at that point, Sam had to chuckle some more. But then she pushed a bowl his way and set two spoons on the table.

"Oh, we sharing? I thought this was all mine." Sam teased and Julia flashed him a slightly appalled face, contemplating whether to take some of that whip cream and smear it on his face. But then their eyes met again, and it seemed like she froze completely, forgetting everything and getting lost in those ocean greens.

Sam shyly brought his gaze down on the bowl and picked up a spoon. He shoved it all the way to the bottom of the bowl, took a spoonful and slowly brought it to his mouth. Parting his lips, he allowed the spoon with the sweet fruit to enter and he closed his mouth around the cutlery closing his eyes as he savored the flavor for a moment before slowly pulling the spoon out, never opening his lips, so the spoon make a popping sound as it came out.

Julia was drooling. Whether it was over the fruit salad or watching Sam eat said fruit salad, we will never know. Realizing that she was staring, she looked down before he noticed, cleared her throat and picked up her own spoon. The first bite elected a moan from her and when she opened her eyes, she caught Sam looking at her, but he quickly averted his gaze back on the bowl, blushing slightly.

Both uncertain of where this might go, but both secretly wishing to find out, they slowly ate their dessert and realized it was finished way too soon. Sam huffed a smile and chanced a glance her way, then got up and carried the bowl to the sink, choosing to wash the rest of the dished too.

"Imana…um… Go and try to, um… Fix that radio…" Sam heard Julia say, but didn't turn around.

"Oh, ok. I will try those doors again… After I am finished here…" Sam responded.

"Yeah, ok…" Julia said, and he could hear her footsteps as she walked away, but they seemed to stop just before the door and then she added "Um… You… You want some help with that?"

"No, no, I'm good." Sam said not wanting to bother her.

"Oh. Ok then." She said and it might have sounded a bit hurtful, Sam wasn't sure. When he heard the door close, he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. If his hands weren't wet at the moment, he would have run his hand over his face, instead he opted to huff another heavy breath. One moment they were laughing, being so comfortable with one another and then it suddenly, out of the blue, it turned weird. Sam couldn't help but think it was because of him.

Getting close to Julia felt good, it felt right, but at the same time fear grew inside Sam. Fear that she would end up just another memory, just another lost life to their eternal cause. Just another passenger who won't make it to their destination because they caught the wrong transportation. They were poisonous to everyone around them. No, he was. Most of the lives lost were his fault. Kevin, Charlie, Rowena. Directly or indirectly, he played a part in so many deaths, he didn't think he could handle another. He didn't think he could handle getting attached to someone again and loose them, one way or the other.

'_Oh, I'm so dead…' _a memory of Julia flashed before his eyes and her comment when she realized he was a Winchester. That said it all.

Another heavy sigh had Sam trying to refocus his mind on something else, on anything else. On those doors. Maybe he should inspect the lock and the door knob a bit closely and try to approach it smartly instead if using brute force. Yeah. He could do that.

Two hours later and the mystery door still undefeated, Sam huffed in annoyance and kicked the door. As if on cue, Julia's head emerged from around the corner and she smiled at him. "Any progress?"

"No." Sam said pouting, and it made her trying to hide her smile at his expression.

"Well, I fixed the radio. And before you ask, no I haven't reached anyone yet, just static. Well, except this one frequency that gives out strange noises and maybe more music? I don't know." Juls elaborated. But when she looked back at him, she could see that he was still a bit pouting, annoyed and deep down probably feeling as useless as Captain Hook's second glove.

"Uh-ha. That's great." Sam said distractedly keeping his focus on the door.

"Hey, um, Sam? Maybe… Maybe you should give the door a rest for a while… You've been at it for what? Two hours? Maybe you could try again tomorrow." Juls suggested but all Sam did was just nod, not moving from the spot, like he didn't even hear a word she said. Now, normally, Julia would be pissed if someone blew her off like that, and this time was no different. However, just as she was gonna blow and maybe raise her voice at him, not just for dissing her, but for overworking himself when it was obvious the doors just wouldn't budge, she got an idea. He didn't even notice she disappeared as he kept frowning at the lock, glaring at it like he could will it open. If only he could figure out this locking mechanism… But it was a simple door knob with a regular key hole, just an ordinary lock one would find on a bathroom stall. And that is what was so annoying about it. Sam couldn't even pick the simplest lock.

He huffed for the umpteenth time today and leaned in for yet another closer look. Focusing hard on the shape of the key lock like it would whisper its secrets to him, he was so deep in thought that he yelped loudly and jumped when he was hit in the back of his neck by something cold and wet. He whipped around with the look of complete surprise, only to find Julia standing there, smirking at him, throwing a snowball up in the air and catching it without taking her eyes off of him.

"You really should approach the problem with a cool head." Julia threw in a lame joke, making his glare intensify and his mouth drop open. He was so surprised by her action, he didn't know how to respond at first. But then he lifted a blaming finger at her and as he took a step forward, he asked a rhetorical question.

"Did… Did you just throw a snowball at me?"

"Wwhho? Mmee? Noooo…" She said with a fake fear and a wide smile, taking a step back.

"I don't see anyone else here, so it must have been you…" Sam took another teasingly threatening step forward and watched her back away, chancing a glance at the exit.

"Maybe… Maybe it was the invisible elves… This is the North Pole afterall." She joked as she took yet another weary step back, her smile never dropping. She looked in the direction of the exit and as if Sam waited just for that, he lunged forward, but only managed to get a snowball on the face as Julia attacked and ran off. She was a badass huntress by the way. Huffing a small roar, Sam ran his hands over his face to remove the snow and then bolted after her. The exit by the storage room was open slightly and Sam practically kicked the door open as he ran outside, only to be met by one snowball after another, like they were fired from an automatic gun or something.

But still, he didn't back down, he didn't look for cover, no. Sam lifted his arms in a protective way and took hits as he scouted the area to find his attacker. Catching a glimpse of her brown hair (cuz her clothes were completely white and thus blending perfectly into the surroundings) he stumbled a few steps towards her, then as a distracting maneuver, he broke into a small spring, lunging himself forward once he reached her. She screamed and fell backwards on the snow, and he landed on top of her, catching himself with his hands so that he didn't crush her with his weigh. Still she grunted , but quickly nudged him in the elbow, making him loose his balance for a split second and allowing her to tackle him.

But using the momentum of the roll, he came on top of her again, this time managing to throw some snow in her face. They rolled around like that, hands filled with snow getting under the other once shirt and over the neck, and if one's hands lingered there a bit longer no one said a thing. Instead they just kept laughing and laughing until that moment that the adrenalin passed and Julia gazed deep into the eyes of the man that was currently mounting her. She could feel him leaning closer and sweet anticipation filled her, her heart pounding faster and faster. He was there, right there, so close, she could almost feel his breath on her.

And then she sneezed right into his face.

She watched him in complete horror as he blinked in confusion, but his expression quickly turned into worry as Julia sneezed again and started shaking. Sam almost jumped off of her, and then helped her up, ushering them both back inside. Leading her to the bedroom, he grabbed more blankets out of the closet and wrapped them around her as he sat her on the bed, rubbing her arms with his huge hands.

"I'm… ffffinnne." Julia said through her clenched teeth and Sam huffed a smile at her.

"No, you're not. You're freezing. I'm just gonna go grab some dry clothes, stay there."

"Well, yyyyou should gggrab some forrrr yourrrself ttttoo. Yyyou're also wwwet." Julia said sniffing and then sneezed again. Sam didn't respond to that as he was already out the door. He emerged two seconds later with dry clothes, from underwear to the hoodie and let her change, stepping out of the room again. He breathed in and out, not know what to think. A few hours ago he was determined not to allow Julia near him in such a manner, but when the first opportunity arose, he literally jumped at it. And at Julia. He didn't even know how he didn't freak her out with that. No, she just kept playing around and the memory of her sweet laughter filled his mind, clouding it once again. His heart beat faster and harder, the sound of her voice filling his ears, the look of her eyes flashing before his own. His mind tried to fight it, tried to regain some control, and it would have completely failed if Sam didn't hear the door open and Julia speak up, or rather scold.

"Why on Earth are you still standing around for in those wet clothes? Go change before you catch a cold."

He smiled awkwardly and nodded, turning and walking away to do as she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, I did it again... I am such a tease with these kisses/possible kisses... But I promise you , I will make it worth your while.


	23. Catch my fall, if I should stumble

And when their lips finally met, the world around them exploded. Or at least it seemed that way to Dean. Feeling the proverbial fireworks that threaten to blow his mind and have his heart erupt from the delight of feeling her lips on his, her arms around him, the smell of lilac in her hair. Oh, and the taste, uh. She tasted so divine, a mixture of sweet, sweet caramel and chocolate, with a hint of peanut, and for a second Dean thought he was imaging it. How could she be this perfect?

As Sarah's hand came up to rest on his chest, Dean's hand slipped from the back of her neck to caress her neck and he was so lost in that intoxicating feeling of her kiss, wanting more, but not daring to move a single inch, fearing he might break this heavenly moment. He wished he was lost in it forever. It was perfect, just so perfect and just how Dean imagined it.

But was it too good to be true?

Was Dean still locked in a dream?

Strange fear that this was nothing but another tormenting nightmare crept up in Dean's mind, and he wanted to pull her closer, to touch her, to feel her, to know she is real. But still, he dared not move, fearful that if he did try and bring her closer, she would disappear on him, disperse into thin air and he will be left there, all alone, again. No, he couldn't be alone. He couldn't.

Sarah never felt so drawn to anyone before. Not like she felt drawn to Dean. She wanted to help him, she wanted to help the little boy trapped inside his soul, while other forces feed off of him. She wanted to protect him, save him, watch over him. The urge was so strong that it seemed to have reinforced her empathic ability, but only towards him.

So much so, that she sensed his unease even in her sleep. She was having a nightmare of her own, being consumed by fire once more, but these dreams stopped bothering her years ago. She didn't really remember the fire, nor did she remember her parents that died in it, so the nightmare couldn't really hurt her that much. That was until she caught a glimpse of Dean and suddenly she was jolting awake, panting a bit.

Looking confusingly around the room it took her a few seconds to remember where she was and then her attention was brought to the man that occupied the bed next to hers. Dean was tossing in his sleep, shaking his head with the word "No... No..." escaping his lips, barely auditable. Sarah was unsure what to do. It felt like invading his privacy to just be there in the room and listen to his silent pleas, but the moment Dean's his louder gasp followed by a chocked sob, all her self-control vanished and the need to make sure he was okey prevailed over everything else.

Sarah jumped off her bed, crossed the distance to the other one and got there just when Dean bolted upright, the nightmare finally jolting him awake. Trying her damnest to sooth him, she brought him closer to her, holding him firm and steady and started humming something she wasn't familiar with, but somehow knew it would help him calm. She pulled him closer, seeing nothing but a scared little boy being attacked by unknown things, wanting so badly to shield him from the big bad world and the things that haunted him.

But when she looked down upon him, there wasn't a scared little boy there, no. There was a man. A man whose eyes will filled with anticipation and want, a pure emotional desire to be loved and cared for. It broke her heart just a bit to see that much raw emotion in his eyes, emotions he would never express, but rather lock away somewhere deep, and make sure they never resurface.

So when she saw he was actually letting them out, letting her see it, she couldn't help but feel almost honoured by it. It was no secret to her that she already liked him, liked him a lot, but feared to act upon those emotions. Now, faced with what seemed like a perfect moment to kiss, Sarah was uncertain on what to do. Should she risk it? Does he even want her in that way? Would he ever want someone like her? But all these questions and worries went away when she felt his hand reach up to her to pull her closer, ever so gently. Like he was telling her he wanted it, but it was ok if she didn't.

Sarah let herself being pulled into such a sweet soft kiss, that thug at her heart, filling it with joy and making all those butterflies in her stomach start to fly around like crazy. She could feel his hand caressing her neck, tickling it with the softest touch. She could feel his strong heart beat under her fingers and she could taste that sweet cherry pie on his lips. It was the perfect kiss, beyond her wildest dreams.

But then slowly, some other emotions crept up to the surface and she could feel some sort of restlessness emitting from Dean. What was it? What was it he grew worried about? Or was it fear? Oh! What if... What if it was her? What if... What if it had to do with her and her abilities? What if... What if he thought she was actually pushing him into this? Was she pushing him into this? Was she projecting her feelings onto him?

Suddenly, Sarah pulled away and stared back at Dean with horror filled eyes. Was she making him do this? Even if she wasn't, even if she couldn't make him do this, he has seen things, met creatures that can do that, what if he thought she was? That would explain the fearful doubt that slowly filled his mind. Sarah instantly pulled away and stood up, nervously looking away while trying to maintain eye contact, uncertain of what to do, what to say. She took a few steps back and while fumbling with her fingers, she glanced around the room, trying to think of what to do.

To Dean, it seemed like she was looking for the exit.

"I...um... I..." Sarah tried, flashing a fake semi-smile. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... I... You...I... I should... I'm gonna go take... Yeah..." And with that, she fled to the bathroom, leaving Dean to sadly gaze after her. Ok, on the plus side, he know knew it was real. He bad thing is that she freaked, and Dean wasn't sure why. There could have been loads of possibilities, she might have seen something with her powers, she might have sensed something. She might have felt his fear and mistaken it for something else. She... She might not want this at all. Maybe he pushed this, and she didn't want it.

He could hear the shower running and he could almost imagine her under the shower, leaning her head on the cool tiles, trying to compose herself. Oh, what was he thinking? After everything she has been through these last few days, learning about the supernatural, being attacked by vampires and held captive and then having her house burn down, he had to add this. She was already overwhelmed, just good at hiding it and he had to go and kiss her and confuse her, and... Idiot. Dean has never felt as big of an idiot as he was now.

So he staggered out of the bed, limped to the bathroom door and leaned into it, placing a hand on the door. Just as he did, he could hear the shower stop and he took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Sarah? Sarah, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I was just... I... I don't know what I was doing, I just... It felt so safe. You feel so safe. And I... Look, I'm sorry, please. Could... Could you just forget it happened?" By the time he was done with his little speech, he had his eyes shut tightly, a pained look on his face. He didn't want to forget, he wanted... But at the end of the day, it wasn't about what he wanted. He owed her for helping him and for losing everything in the process, he owed her and if it would make this easier, he would act like it never happened.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a thought reminded him about his brother too, and he felt a pang of guilt for allowing himself to do anything but try and find him.

"S... Sarah?" Dean called out, suddenly realizing how quiet it was on the other side of the door. Oh, God, she didn't climb put the window and ran away, did she? "Sarah?"

"I'm still here." came her voice on the other side and Dean huffed a breath of pure relief, one she could feel coming from him too. He expected her to open the door and face him, but when she didn't, he understood why it was.

"Ok, how about I go and get us something to eat, and then we could hit the road?" He asked hoping that even though she didn't ran through the window, she would still confirm she would stay with him. But even if she did say Yes, she could still be gone by the time he gets back. Damn it, why did he have to be so stupid?

"Um, no, don't do that... – came a response from the other side – You... You're still hurt and I... I could go get the food..." The was something in her voice that felt off. She didn't sound to convinced of what she was saying. She didn't thing he would lock her in the room, did she?

"How... how about we check out and then go to a diner?" Dean offered, trying to find a compromise, fearing she too might take off and leave him, like all others did.

"That... That would be great..." She replied, still with the odd voice.

"Um... Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I... um... Can I borrow a shirt? I... I accidentally got this one wet and I didn't find a place to buy a new one when I was looking this morning, and..."

Relief flooded Dean once more. The shirt. That was why she was being awkward with her replies. He didn't even let her finish before he spoke "Yeah, no. Sure you can. Gimme a sec." He limped to the table and took his duffle, roaming through it and cussing at himself for not keeping his clean clothes separate from the dirty ones. Damn it, he was wearing his last clean shirt. Damn it! Just when he was about to throw the whole bag to the other side of the room, like it was its fault he couldn't to one thing for Sarah, just one stupid thing, a black cloth caught his eye and he reached in and pulled out a shirt.

It was a old, but a preserved one, a shirt that was too small for him when he bought it, but liked it so much he had to have it. It was his AC/DC shirt with a big bell on it that has the thunder trademark sign and a few skeleton demons climbing it and pulling its chain, making the bell sway. Under the picture there was a big sign "Hell's bells" and a verse "I got my bell, gonna take you to Hell." Needless to say, he bought the thing way back, before he actually went to hell. It was too small for him, but it could fit her just fine.

"Um, Sarah... This... This is all I got, I hope it's ok..." Dean said as he came back to the bathroom door. Sarah opened the door just a crack and stuck her hand out, waiting for him to pass it along. Once he did, she pulled her hand back in and shut the door. He could hear her huff a smile and after a few moments, she opened the door, looking as shy as ever.

The shirt was more than perfect, tightening slightly around her chest, emphasizing them with the AC/DC logo draped right over them, while the lower part hung loosely. Her hair was wet and more importantly it wasn't in that adorable ponytail, but rather loose and reached just below her shoulder.

Dean caught himself starring.

Sarah's face flashed with a slight frown, barely noticeable before she huffed a shy smile, looking away. She glanced back around the room and spotted the hair drier that, for whatever strange reason, wasn't in the bathroom where it should be, but at her nightstand. She took a step seemingly towards Dean, but she didn't notice he was frozen in spot, so she brushed past him, took the hairdryer and went back to the bathroom. "Just give me a few minutes to dry my hair and we'll go." She said with a kind smile and he nodded, his lips curling into a goofy smile of his own.

The car ride to the town was quiet, Dean still riding in the back. He really hoped they would get past this awkward silence by the time they are on the road to the bunker, otherwise this journey is going to last even longer and be a lot more excruciating for Dean. Especially since he had an annoying itch right in the middle of the cast. He wished he could just rip the thing off.

As Sarah once more helped Dean out of the car, and he almost quivered once he felt her touch, she was able to pull his mind away from these thoughts by saying "You know, your leg should have healed completely by now, considering the rate it was healing back in the hospital. I think we could take it off when we reach the bunker."

"Why not just take a knife and take it off right now?" Dean asked.

"Because if it didn't heal, I would rather have you off the road and in a bed... Resting." She added that last word quickly, suddenly too aware of the indications she was giving out. Dean didn't notice, and even if he did, he never caught her brief blush. Once she handed his the crutches, they walked to the diner, took the table nearest to the door and sat down.

The waitress took her time, which annoyed Dean, as the awkward silence returned. Sarah was really focused on the menu, or so Dean gathered from the glances he kept throwing at her. And when the waitress finally came and took their order, it took her forever to come back with the burgers and fries even though the diner was half empty. They ate their meal in that uncomfortable silence, both wishing they knew what to say to the other, both starting to speak a few times, only to stop themselves, unsure if there was even a point. Dean again cussed inwardly at himself for reaching and kissing her, making everything that more difficult.

They just finished their meal and both welcomed the fact that something was happening once again, even if it was just something trivial as paying for their meal and getting up to leave. That was when a cheery voice called out to Dean and both of them turned around. Sarah watched as a beautiful African-American woman waltzed over, her thick small curls bouncing on her shoulders as she walked, a wide smile placated on her face and her eyes fixed on Dean like he was prey. Suddenly, Sarah felt very protective of Dean. Or was it a bit of jealousy too?

"Cassie?" Dean asked with a smile and a hint of confusion. His old fling from almost two decades ago, still as beautiful as ever, and just as hot. She came over to him and gave him a firm hug, which he returned and after he pulled back, he gave her a once-over.

Sarah stood aside, half listening to the pleasantries that the two exchanged, half focusing on trying to read the woman before her and figure out if she was a threat in any way. Supernatural or any other.

"This is Sarah, Sarah, this is my old friend Cassie." Dean's words brought her back to the real world and she smiled politely at the woman, reaching to shake her hand. A touch, yes. It was all she needed to judge a person, to get a read on their soul and know exactly how bad they were. Alas, as much as she thought Cassie was someone to be wary off, the peek at her soul told Sarah that she was one of those rare pure souls out there, selfless and kind. So what was it that was bothering Sarah regarding her?

"So, you still doing your thing?" Cassie asked Dean after she greeted Sarah.

"Someone's gotta do it." Dean replied.

So, Cassie was aware of the life Dean had, of the supernatural. It was clear to Sarah there was something between them, or had been in the past, but now, they just seemed to be glad that the other one is alive and well. Sarah didn't eavesdrop anymore, deciding it was best to settle her own beating heart and just let them have a moment, so she pulled away, closer to the door and waited for Dean to finish. She didn't wait long, as Dean stopped talking mid sentence to look where she was and when he saw her backing away, he said his goodbyes.

One thing Sarah did hear Cassie say. "You two look good together." But she didn't hear Dean try and correct her. In fact, she didn't hear Dean say anything at all. And that made Sarah hopeful that maybe, just maybe... She wasn't the only one who felt drawn to him, who felt some connection. Maybe he felt it too.

Shooing away the awkward silence that threatened to settle again, a few minutes into the car ride, Sarah spoke.

"She seems nice."

Dean huffed a smile, memories of his time with Cassie flashing in his mind, but only their last encounter lingered in his mind along with the case of a ghost truck in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. "Yeah, she is."

Sarah wasn't really sure what to say, but she needed to know. So she took a deep breath, questions piling in her mind. "She means something to you." She finally spat out, cringing at her own choice of words. She caught Dean's look of surprise in the rear-view mirror, but it only lasted for half a second as Dean seemed to remember Sarah was a psychic after all. He huffed a smile and looked outside the window, taking another moment to reminisce before answering.

"She did. But she didn't want this lifestyle and I couldn't drop it..." Dean trailed off, thinking for a moment how foolish he has been back then. Sammy has gotten out, he was in Stanford and Cassie was Dean's ticket out of the life. If only he stayed with her... But the ghost monster truck would have come for her mother anyway and he would be sucked into the life again. It was inevitable.

Dean glanced back at Sarah, looking at her through the mirror, but her eyes were sad and focused on the road. Dean couldn't help but wonder if he and Sarah would ever end up together would she support his decision to keep hunting? Not that he could imagine her tagging along and getting herself in danger, but... Would she allow him to be himself, or would she try to change him?

Sensing the change in the 'atmosphere', Sarah thought it was best to drop the subject of a former lover, but as the silence became too deafening, she opted to ask Dean about someone else, making him flinch from his thoughts.

"Tell me about him. Tell me about Sam."

She could see Dean's eyes sparkle at the mention of his brother's name, and they clearly bore so much love, care and affection that was a bit too much for a simple brotherly bond.

"Sam is... Well, Sam. Dorky little brother who is into books and healthy diet and... and likes to get into trouble a lot. Seriously, like every turn , he..." Dean trailed off, he sounded so cheerful whilst speaking of Sam when the painful reminder came that Sam wasn't there and Dean didn't know where he was. Dean stopped talking for a second, biting down on his lower lip, a pained expression flashing before his eyes before he took a deep breath, raising his head high like he was trying to stop the tears from flooding. No, Dean Winchester doesn't cry.

"He..." Dean started to talk in hopes that the worry would tone down, but then he remembered he never really told Sarah about Sam and the fire that changed their lives. He wasn't sure if it was really up to him to speak of it, seeing as Sam was a sort of a psychic too for a short while. It was better if Sam was there when he told her, so that he could answer any questions she might have. At the same time, Dean didn't want to have to tell her she might have demon blood in her system. Not when he himself wasn't a 100 percent on that.

"We were very young when our mom died and dad was sorta obsessed to avenge her. Mostly it was just me and Sammy. And sure, there were some tough times, but he... Um... He always had that hope with him, that little spark that things are gonna somehow, you know. And, and even though I was the one that comforted him whenever he felt blue or whenever he had a nightmare, he was actually... He was actually what I needed to keep fighting, you know..."

Sarah smiled at that description. Dean was his brother's keeper, she could see it being rooted deep inside of him. He must have taken care of little Sammy most of his life, giving everything up just so that Sam might get a chance... But... If Dean looked after Sammy, who looked after Dean?

Dean talked some more about Sam,.mentioning a few of their funny adventures, but not failing to bring up his bad luck with the ladies. Still, he tried to focus on their highlights, clinging on to some more positive memories, and drowning the fear that this time, with God really gone, there wasn't a way for Dean to save him. He wasn't the hero of this story anymore.

So far, Sarah has been that more then he was. And that was a good thing, it really was. Because maybe she would be able Sam and succeed where Dean would most certainly fail. So Dean kept talking about Sam, bringing his personality closer to him, showing her just what his little brother meant to him. He was his reason to keep going, Sarah could see it, clear as day.

Sam was the one that held at bay all those things that were attacking Dean's soul. And with him gone, Dean was barely holding on. In fact, and Sarah didn't know this part, but if it wasn't for her, he would have given up on himself long ago.

With all these thoughts in her mind, and Dean's emotions in her heart, Sarah pushed the pedal just a bit harder, going way above the speeding limit, trying to reach that bunker and whatever it was she would find there.


	24. Warming up to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I teased a kiss with Dean, then I teased and sneezed a kiss with Sam, and then teased some more with Dean. It is now Sam's turn, but I am scared. Scared that you are gonna yell at me if I tease some more. And I think Sam, or even Julia might get super pissed at me too and not want to be my characters anymore... Oh, what's a writer gonna do?
> 
> Warning: Not suitable for persons under the age of 18.

It was almost time. Just a few minutes till midnight, the exact time when the generators go off and no matter what they tried to do, they would always turn off at that exact time. But it has been three or four days since they woke up in this god-forsaken place, in the middle of the Arctic, in an abandoned research station, and they have somewhat gotten used to the idea of spending the night in the bed, together, wrapped around each-other for warmth.

Sam, being good with his hands and with old machinery, was again by the generator, trying to undo the timer it was on, and again having no luck. He just couldn't find any switch or a button or anything that would even explain why does it power down at that exact time.

"It's almost midnight..." Juls said leaning on the doorframe. He didn't even know she was there, watching him, and she startled him, making him jerk his head and as a result hitting it on a heating pipe. She huffed a laugh at him, while he gave her his best bitch face, reserved mostly for Dean. There was that moment when they both smiled, letting themselves forgetting the peril they were in. Their eyes met just for a second, both with something on their mind, and Sam quickly looked away.

Juls was never the shy type. She had commented about Sam, his body, his biceps and he even caught her checking out his ass. When it came to being front and open regarding what she liked, she was a lot like his brother, maybe even worse. Because she was a woman and she could get away with it, no man in the world would slap her for making a vulgar comment, like Sam has seen women do to Dean a few times... A few dozen times... When they were younger...

"We should hit the hay." Juls said, and Sam wasn't sure if she meant for it to sound the way it did. She did make a few of those comments, looked at him with desire, but he always thought she was just playing around, loving to tease him and see him blush every time. And boy did he blush. Sometimes it felt like he was in school, back in the second or third grade, and blushing when Linda Morison kissed him on the cheek. He met a lot of women (mostly way older than him, cougars and grandmas) who would make such comments, but never acted beyond that.

And there they were again, in the only bedroom in the place, the only room that had some sort of isolation for the cold. With the same awkwardness they felt each time they did it, they took off their clothes, slowly peeling off layer by layer, trembling at the coolness that intensified with each removal of a shirt. They kept going until the only remaining thing on them was their underwear, always with their back to one another. Juls ducked under the covers and blankets first, looking away from Sam as he followed. Seconds later, the generator stopped working and the furnace stopped working. All the lights went out too, all except the one of the small battery they charged up during the day.

The awkwardness grew larger as she turned to him, never making eye contact and snuggled against his bare chest. He cleared his throat as he wrapped his arms around her, letting her body heat keep him warm. It felt so good, it felt so right, but Sam couldn't let himself think like that. He couldn't let that happen, he couldn't let himself go and get lost in her eyes, in her arms, in her... God, she smelled so nice. Even though there was no shampoo in that place, somehow her hair smelled of lavender, it was so soothing, he could get lost in that feeling...

His eyelids grew heavier, but sleep wouldn't come to him, all he could think about is her soft skin, her slight tremble in his arms and the urge to resist it all, to stop thinking like that and realize it was just survival, nothing more. But then she moved, her hand brushing over his stomach and this thoughts became blurry once again, the id, the primal trying so hard to take over. Sam took in a deep breath and opened his eyes wide, trying to scare those thoughts away.

Sure, she was a hunter, she was brought up in this life, she knew all the risks, she knew loss. She even knew about him, about some of the things people claimed he had done, like letting Lucifer out of the cage all those years ago. She knew the rumours and the stories and still she didn't resent him, she didn't care about any of it. But he couldn't, he wouldn't bring her into his life and drag her down when he falls, which he was certain he will eventually. And who knew if she even wanted to? He could just be delusional, reading into her looks at bit too much, maybe trying to find something that he needed, but it wasn't really there.

No, he wasn't going to go there. He wasn't going to let her succumb to the Winchester curse.

She moved her head slightly, sleep already taking her over slowly and her cold nose brushed against his neck. His mind clouded again and he silently gasped when he felt her warm breath on his collar bone. He could feel his own slight shiver and the small jolt of electricity, the sting, the butterflies, whatever it was, going through his chest, down his stomach and straight to his thighs. He closed his eyes as if he was in pain and hoped she didn't feel that.

He was wrong.

Oh, Juls felt that alright. And it felt good, it felt nice to know she still had it in her. She was catching a few wrinkles and grey hairs here and there and it felt so empowering to know she still could make a guy loose it just from being close to her. She smirked a devilish smile he couldn't see, but there was nothing evil about it. "Is that another flashlight I am feeling?" She whispered with a playful voice, and looked up at him. She could see in the dim light of the room that he closed his eyes in embarrassment and started to blush and it made her smile brightly once more. He was so cute when he was embarrassed.

When he said nothing, she decided to make another move and see how he takes it. Letting out another warm breath on his collar bone, she brought her lips closer to his skin and gently brush them against him, barely touching. She could feel his tremble once more, the stiffening in his underwear and she moved again. She set her lips on his skin and pressed them for just a second before pulling back.

"Wha...What are you doing?" Sam barely let out, his eyes still closed, his mind foggy. The feeling was intoxicating, making him feel like he was high up in the clouds, but also so calming and oh! so good. He clenched his jaw, biting the inside of the cheeks, a part of him still trying to fight it.

"Seducing you..." she said as she pressed her lips on his neck once more, this time sucking in on his skin for a split second before she pulled away to say "Isn't it obvious?" And much to his sweet torment, she continued kissing him, slowly and gently.

It was driving him mad. One part of him wanted her, wanted her now, and not just to feel her body, but to feel her, to feel someone close, to let someone in. And another part, the logical part didn't want to let her risk it, they lost everyone they ever cared about, and he was scared it would happen to her too. No he was sure it would. HE WILL NO RISK IT!

So he pushed her off gently and turned her back to her, shivering more from the excitement of his body than the coolness of the air.

Her smile dropped seeing him turn around, and she felt a bit rejected, even though she had seen the struggle in his eyes, sensed his slight shiver and felt the bump in his underwear, it still confused her. She didn't realize quite yet why he would push her away when it was so clear he wanted her, she didn't understand his indecisiveness. Her face softened, and sadness appeared in her eyes. Maybe she was reading too much into it.

Still, she pulled herself closer to him, leaning her body up against his back, trying to keep him warm. She threw her arm over his, but didn't let her hand wonder of towards his stomach. She leaned the side of her head, her ear on his back so as not to breathe onto his skin again and finally she closed her eyes, accidentally letting out a sigh.

Sam's mind followed her motions and expected, wanted, hoped for just one more specific touch, one that can be interpreted as desire, just one more to send those shivers down his spine, to send him spiralling over the edge.

He did not expect her movements to be so caring, but refraining at the same time. He did push her away, but didn't expect her to fall back so easily, to just give up. Heck, a part of him even expected some pouting or something, not for her to hug him just to keep him warm. Could it be? Could there be something more than just...

Sam's eyes slightly widened as she let out the sigh, and he felt a sting in his heart. Was it his actions that hurt her? He did not want to hurt her. He wanted to keep her safe. He closed his eyes heavily as he remembered, sometimes if you want to keep the people you care about safe, you have to push them away. It worked out so well for him and his brother so many times, he actually huffed a mental laugh at his thoughts.

When did he start caring about her in that way?

A few hours passed, she seemed to be sleeping and Sam felt he has finally calmed down enough, his erection finally went away and he signed in relief. He did not need that now, no matter how right it felt, no matter how much he wanted it, no matter how good she smelled, how smooth her skin was... _Dammit!_ There he goes again.

Suddenly, he felt her shiver, her arm twitching and he turned his head to get a better look at her. And all the blood drained from his face when he saw that again. _No, no, no..._ His mind screamed as he saw her lips turned blue, her face pale and her breathing so shallow. He turned around and immediately wrapped her arms around her, only to find that her back have almost turned to ice. His heart started racing, and he started to panic.

So quickly, he took her arm and rolled her on her left side, wrapping his arms around her tightly, and even going so far as to wrap his legs around her.

Sam hugged her as widely and as tightly as he could, using his entire form as a blanket for her, making as much skin contact with her nearly frozen back to spread his warmth to her. _Please, please_ \- was the mantra he repeated again as his heart pounded fast and faster in worry for her life.

He leaned into the back of her neck and purposely blew hot air, letting his eyelids close and letting the guilt wash over him. He wouldn't be Sam if he did blame himself for this. If only he hadn't so abruptly turned his back on her, if only he just told her to stop, explained why it couldn't happen. If only he didn't care so much about her...

He didn't know when he drifted off to sleep, or how long has he been under it, but it must not have been long, because despite Juls movements, her back still felt cold. Not as cold as before, but enough for him not to let go just yet. "S-Sam?" she asked, her teeth chattering. She was still shivering from the cold, but at least she was conscious and aware.

"I'm here." He replied gently squeezing her arm with his hand, and he felt his heart jump a beat knowing she was going to be ok. He let out a silent sigh of relief and then promised himself he will not be so reckless around her ever again.

"Why?" she then asked and he frowned. Why what? Why is he there? Why was hugging her and not letting go? He realized if she fell asleep while keeping his back warm, she might not know she nearly froze.

"Your back... You fell asleep with your back exposed and..." he started to explain, feeling a bit awkward, but not at the position they were in. He felt awkward that none of this felt awkward. It felt so natural. It felt so good. And that's why he was confused when she interrupted him.

"No, why are you here? Why do you keep saving me? Why do you care?" she asked still shivering and shaking.

"You... Why do I...? Why would you think I don't... Oh..." He did reject her. He did turn his back on her. He let a heavy sigh escape him before he started talking again. "I care. And not just cuz it is what I do. I care about you. In fact, I think I care a lot..."

"So then it is about what you... What we do?" she asked, knowing well one of the job requirements was not to get attached. Not to start caring about a person only to see them perish in a gruesome way. The silence that fell between them said it all. She thought that might be why he acted the way he did, and the silence confirmed it. She turned her head slightly to look at him, to try and read the expression on his face.

It was true. What she said, it was true. He couldn't let her in, he couldn't, he shouldn't let himself care about her and have her as vulnerability. But he closed his eyes to let the realization sink in. Because he knew, right then and there, he already let her in. He already cared about her enough to know, he won't let her go. So he opened his eyes just in time to see her turn her sad dark brown eyes at him. He gazed in them, wishing he could just get lost in their darkness, forever. He let out a heavy sigh, the one that is not burdening, but rather lifting.

Letting his needs prevail over his common sense felt so liberating as he leaned in and placed a short soft kiss on her lips. He pulled back never breaking eye contact, waiting for her reaction. His heart jumped as he saw that soft smile on her face and that spark in her eyes. He glanced at her lips and brought his attention back on her eyes as if he was seeking approval, though he knew the smile was just that.

She was usually the one to make the first move, she was the one who was direct and she was the one that when she saw something she wanted, she went for it. But when he placed that soft kiss on her lips, she lost all sensation in her legs, she lost her breath for a second, but that feeling deep down in her stomach... Even if she never felt the butterflies, she sure knew what that feeling was right now. So she just stared at him, shocked and confused by his action, but thrilled about it nevertheless. She barely managed that smile, feeling like she wanted to tackle him and return a much more passionate kiss, but found herself unable to even move, mesmerized by his eyes.

She silently gasped and felt a pinch in her chest when she saw him leaning forward once again, his ocean colored eyes gazing deep into hers as if he could see all the way to her soul. His soft lips pressed against hers once again, but this time they stayed a bit longer, caressing her lips, dancing around them and it was so intoxicating. Her mind went blank, only letting itself feel the warmth in that kiss, the passion, the desire.

There was an explosion of emotions somewhere in her mind, where, she didn't know, she didn't care. It happened when his tongue slipped into her mouth dancing around hers and he pulled her even closer that she thought possible, holding onto her tight, but gentle at the same time.

Never allowing his lips to part her, she slowly turned to lie on her back to make herself a bit more comfortable, and also to be able to reach him, lifting her left hand to caress his cheek her soft fingers tracing his jaw line. She could feel his silent hum vibrate through the kiss, making her shiver for excitement even more. God, he tasted amazing, sweet, almost like cotton candy, making her want to just capture his illusive tongue and suck all the sweetness out of it. Still, not wanting to show all her kinkiness on their first night, she instead opted to turn to him fully, letting her hand roam over his strong chest.

Julia's movements sent tingles down Sam's spine, but when her hand fell on his chest, the tingles transformed into goosebumps. He could feel the passion tugging at him, wishing to take over and Sam still tried to resist, tried to push those thoughts away. Then, just as Julia's soft fingers brushed lower at his stomach, his mind went completely blank. He reached for her, grabbing her hip and clenching it lightly before his hand moved around to her lower back, squeezed her ass and pulled her even closer.

Julia huffed a laugh through the kiss, and gave up her current course to reach behind Sam, grab his ass too, and practically slam him into her, making him gasp. The kiss broke, only for a second, both panting hard, trying to catch their breath and taking a moment to search the other's eyes, as if they were both making sure they wanted this to happen. Sam wasn't really holding back, no, Julia was just being a bit impatient, so she broke the eye contact, opting instead to kiss the corner of Sam's lips. And then his cheek. And then his jawline, right by the ear. Then slightly underneath that, and then some more lower and lower.

Sam closed his eyes and did nothing but breathe, and feel her tracing her kisses lower on his neck. His breath hitched as he felt her hand coming back from his rear to the front, to his stomach, slowly and gently caressing it's way lower, making his breaths slowly turn into panting. And then he gasped as her hand ever so slowly brushed against his hard member, and then groped his length making Sam's eyes shot up to meet hers just when she pulled back. A very devilish smirk crossed her lips and she leaned in again, tracing kisses down his collarbone, moving her hand to further his arousal. Soon, Sam's eyes were closed again and he was moving in rhythm, pushing himself against her hand.

Suddenly, Sam jumped as if he was electrocuted when Julia tongue went over his nipple and he pulled away almost completely, starting at her for a good few seconds, making her fear that she had done something wrong. But then, Sam is lunging forward, kissing Juls with such passion it made her dizzy for a moment. Her hand came close to grip him again, but Sam grabbed her hand and pulled it above her head, making her fall back on the bed, gasping at his actions. He kept kissing her, ferociously, trailing her lower lip with his tongue and then softly biting down on it, leaving her breathless.

As he kissed her, he moved so that he was almost on top of her, prompt up on his left elbow. That position left an opening for Julia's other hand, the one that wasn't currently trapped by Sam's tight grip, and she reached under him, moving past his underwear and gripping at the side of his ass, as much as she could reach. Sam probably would have left her to do that if her hand didn't try and sneak to the front, her soft fingers brushing just over his V line and coming so close.

Sam grabbed the other hand too, and pulled it above her head, right next to the other. Crossing them, he was able to hold them with just one of his colossal hands. Julia gasped loudly at this, her breath hitching and her heart pounding so hard. There was a mixture of excitement and fear in her eyes as she watched Sam almost rip her bra off of her as his lips trailed further down her neck. A small whimper escaped her lips and Sam immediately stopped and brought his gaze up on her.

He looked at her with questioning eyes, not really sure if it was fear he was seeing in them, not knowing that his actions caused a small flashback of her time in that damn warehouse with that damn demon that bore the face of her love. She was restrained with her hands above her head back then while the demon tortured her, but now, every fiber of her being screamed at her for making him stop.

Recognition flashed upon Sam's eyes and he loosened his grip, but didn't let go completely, and watched Julia's eyes with anticipation, holding perfectly still, not moving aside from breathing. She stared back at him, the demon long forgotten and the need building up, but she didn't know what to say to keep him going. Her breath calmed, making her chest heave at a slower pace and as if guided by something else other then her mind, she arched up with her breath, just a bit, letting her chest come up to his. And when there was still uncertainty in his eyes, she lifted a knee, brushing it gently between his thighs.

Sam screwed his eyes shut and let out a groan, then lunged to kiss her neck, and while his hand rested up on hers, the other caressed down her neck, over her perky breasts, just touching, not gripping, not yet. One moment he wants to rip everything off of her and take her hard and fast, and then he wants to take it slow, take his time and tease her, all the while enjoying the feel of her skin on his.

One moment he feels like he could explode, come just from her touch and nothing more, and then in the next he feels like he could last for ages, just for a chance to see her moan under his body. His fingers slowly went further down, passing right between her breasts, not touching a single one, instead playfully moving to tickle her stomach. He heard her trying to hide a shaky gasp when he reached an uneven part of her skin, a scar, and he pulled out to gaze back into her eyes. Slowly and ever so gently, his fingers traced all along the scar, his eyes reassuring her it is ok, that he doesn't care about the imperfections of her body, but it didn't seem to work, not like he hoped.

Julia closed her eyes for a moment, her lower lip shaking just a tad, and then she opened them, giving Sam one sad, but determined look. He was more than just a one night stand to her now, she could feel it. She could feel getting attached to him almost from the moment they met. He was becoming something more. And she hasn't had more in a while, not since Jake. She tried to shield herself away from love, but those ocean colored eyes rendered her powerless to keep fighting. And honestly, she didn't want to fight it any more. She wanted to love and to be loved, she wanted to let go.

"Kiss me." She whispered, slowly breathing in and out. She needed to feel him, she needed to know he was there. She needed him. Sam's hand that was up till now laying peacefully on her stomach, waiting patiently to see what would she want him to do, moved back to cup her cheek and place the softest kiss he could on her red puffed lips. She pulled her hand under his, and he let her, and set it on his neck, just under his ear, her thumb tracing his jaw line as she kissed him back, so slowly it hurt.

She pulled her other hand too, placed it on the other side of his neck in the same position and pulled Sam for an even deeper kiss that spoke volumes of her need to be loved and bore a warning not to shut her down, not to leave her behind as she would not be able to take it. Sam just followed her lead, and as much as he wanted to trace his hand all over her body, to learn her every curve, he refrained moving for now.

Julia quickly grew bored of that, and with her hands free, she took the opportunity to caress Sam's back, caress all the way to his lower back, under his underwear and with both hands grip his ass tight to pull him closer again. She could hear him gasp, but didn't even let him have a moment as he lifted her wrists, letting the band of his underwear slide downward a bit, and then quickly moved to take them off even further, swiftly moving her hand to the front. Just before she could reach her destination, Sam managed to grab her hand, and then the other and slam them back on the pillow above her head. Panting hard, he gazed into her eyes, not knowing what to expect, but he knew he couldn't let her do that, not now, not the way they were going. He was burning slowly and this just might have sent him over the edge.

There was no fear in Julia's eyes, not now. No, there was just a smile only she could pull off, a half genuine half devilish smirk that reached her eyes and made them sparkle. Seeing that made Sam let go of the last bit that was holding him back, and he lunged forward to kiss her passionately, moving his lips down her neck soon after that, sucking and biting, making her hum with excitement.

He moved lower, letting his lips play with her breasts and making her hum turn into silent moans as she tried to hold them back. She didn't even feel when he reached down and pulled her panties until he tugged at them, making her pull her leg so that he could take them off completely. He took his underwear off too, his lips never parting her body as he moved on top of her, using his knee to part her legs open. Julia tugged a bit, trying to break her hand free and let them roam over his body, and Sam lifted himself back to face her, their eyes locking once more, saying so much then words ever could.

Not letting go of her hands, he watched her as he lowered himself, leaning his painfully hard member right between her folds, making her gasp so loudly, her chest rose all the way up to his and then her breath hitched and her body trembled as she felt the rush of pure arousal throughout her body. Sam closed his eyes heavily in concentration, bitting down his lower lip and then... he just... started moving...

Julia unwillingly let out a loud moan as he brushed against that sweet spot right outside and Sam let his forehead lean on hers, panting and focusing not to lose it. He groaned as he rocked back and forth, and Julia stared up at him, her eyes wide, her mouth slightly ajar and her breaths so shallow. Oh, he was driving her crazy.

"S...Sa..." Julia tried, her voice lost between her pants, her mind unable to focus to produce actual words. "Plea... Sa..." As if on command, without lifting his head, he pulled himself away and repositioned, before he sunk back down, slowly entering her making her choke on her own words, gasping for air as if she was drowning. Her mind went blank as that intoxicating feeling washed over her. And Oh! My! God! he kept going in, deeper and deeper, and Wow! how big was he?

She thought it couldn't get any better than this, but she was proven so wrong when he started moving, slowly pulling out and then dipping back in, slowly, too slowly, making her mind fog and her heart pound so fast, it threaten to leap out of her chest. He was just So. Damn. Slow. Painfully so. Wanting more, wanting it now, wanting him Julia distracted him with trying to set her hand free and when his focus was on that, she pulled her legs up, wrapped them around him, and squeezed pulling him in a little bit faster.

It was Sam's turn to gasp and his eyes shot open and their looks meet again, and Sam was instantly lost in those two dark voids, but with his inner being with a mind of its own, he started moving just a bit faster and a bit harder. The sounds she was making were pushing him over the edge so fast, his head was spinning and he didn't even know when he let go of her hands, as he suddenly felt them roaming all over his body before coming to his back, scratching and digging her nails into his skin, making Sam give out a loud moan of his own.

Pushing the rhythm, he leaned in and captured her mouth in a sloppy kiss, muffling her shouts, but he had to pull away soon as it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Jesus, she felt so good, so right underneath him, strong, yet fragile, beautiful and simply... Amazing.

Sam kept going and going, moving faster but never taking his eyes off of her, the look of pure ecstasy on her face making him co close to the edge, his pants turning into shouts of incomprehensible words. "Sa...aaa...Saa...SaaaaAAAaammmm..." The sound of his name spilling from her lips as she reached those heights sent him over the edge tumbling with the thought it was him that caused her bliss, it was his name she was calling. It was him she wanted. He thrust hard one last time before he came undone, choking on his own breath, the move making Julia scream.

A few minutes he stood perfectly still, panting so hard his throat went completely dry, he tried to catch his breath while still on top of her, still inside of her. It took all he had not to collapse on her. Mustering the last ounce of straight, he pulled away and fell next to her, quickly draping them with a blanket.

Next few moments they just laid next to one another, trying to catch their breath, both staring up at the ceiling. But then, Julia's cold hand found Sam's shoulder and then moved on top of his chest, and he set his hand over hers as he turned to look at her. She had the most beautiful smile on her face he has ever seen, and his own lips quirked into a smile.

Suddenly, the lights came back on, followed by the rattling sound in the vents and the heater was working again, and they both just broke into laughter. Talk about timing. But once that laughter toned down, those goofy smiles still plastered on their faces, it was Julia who huffed and spoke first.

"Damn it!"

"What is it?" Sam said lifting his head to look at her, slightly worried.

"I forgot the whip-cream."


	25. Stand by me

The closer they got to the bunker the more anxious Dean got, and Sarah could feel every ounce of it. With each passing moment, Dean's thoughts became more focused on Sam and on finding him. A spec of hope arose at the thought that Sam could have saved himself and managed to get back to the bunker, but Dean shut it down, knowing his brother would have called if that was the case. No, Dean had only one thing on his mind right now and that was the contents of a certain drawer in the bunker's library.

Reaching the outskirts of Lebanon, Dean gave Sarah directions to the bunker, explaining where to turn, where a pothole was and where to be careful of a certain tree that had his branches sticking out to the road. And when he pointed to a secret passage on a side of a hill, that's where Sarah had to huff a laugh, reminded of a certain superhero, or vigilante as some are called these days and his hide-out.

"Next thing you're gonna tell me is that you're Batman." Sarah said with a giggle, and Dean smiled too, his heart pinching at the sound of her laughter. "So what's the deal with the bat-cave?" She added, curious.

"There was a secret society a while back that gathered information on the supernatural, they called themselves the Men of Letters. We didn't know, the members were killed in the fifties, but we leant out grandfather was one of them. And now, so are we." Dean explained, sounding too serious to himself.

"Oh, wow. Really? That is so cool." Sarah responded with genuine impression. She always like those old mystery things and conspiracy theories and her curiosity was through the roof. She wanted to ask more, she wanted to know more, but as they neared the entrance to the bunker's garage, she felt an odd pressure on her temples that shifted her focus. She clenched her teeth and remained quiet as she focused on driving, but the closer they got, the more it hurt and finally, right at the garage entrance, she gave a hiss.

"Sarah? You alright?" Dean asked, worry furrowing his brows. Sarah didn't respond, but chose to get out of the car and as fast as he could, Dean followed, limping and grabbing his crutches before he went after her. She came up to the wall by the door, leaning on it with one hand and using the other to massage her temple, focusing on breathing as she tried to push through the pain. Just when Dean managed to dislodge himself from the car, Sarah turned, leaned her back against the wall and let her head fall back.

By the time Dean got to her, she was crouching on the ground, her hands clasped over her ears, as her breathing got more erratic. She was clearly in a lot of pain. Dean didn't know, but she was fighting against whatever was causing the pain and it made everything hurt even more but the other option was out of the question. The other option was to leave and she would not do that. She felt as if something was compelling her to stay away but she would not do that. Not when Dean needed her.

Strangely enough, there was also something compelling her to stay, something drawing her to the bunker, some odd feeling that said this is where she is supposed to be. Jimmy Durante said it perfectly when he sang _"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted to go, still had a feeling like you wanted to stay..."_ Well, Sarah did. But the fight was wearing her out the more she fought, the more the invisible force fought against her. On her last ounce of strength, feeling as if she will pass out any minute, she looked up to see Dean one last time, not knowing what might happen. But Dean wasn't there.

Panic arose that strangely brought forth more strength to fight as she focused more on Dean and where did he disappear. As she focused harder she seemed to recall his words "_Hang in there..." _said to her only a minute ago, but where could he have gone? Why would he leave her? Did he know why this was happening, why her head hurt so much? And as the emotions over-flooded her, she felt another wave hit her, and she fought so hard, her nose started to bleed. And then it was over.

"Sarah... Sarah?" She heard Dean's voice but it sounded so distant, so muffled, and she tried to breathe and to focus on his voice and on staying awake. 'C'mon, let's get you inside." she heard him say and she felt him trying to lift her, but she knew he couldn't, not with the crutches. Taking yet another deep breath, she pushed on, and managed to get herself on her feet and allowed Dean to lead her inside.

Dean was so worried about Sarah when he saw her in pain, it took him time; too much time to figure out what was causing it. But as soon as he did he set his hand gently on Sarah shoulder, assured her he will fix it and limped towards the garage entrance. Sam could open these doors with such ease and Dean always struggled, but somehow that didn't happen this time. Like the doors knew not to mess with him in this state. He hurried inside and there was a buzzing sound that increased and then toned down as Dean powered down the wardings of the bunker.

It was an educated guess, but a guess nevertheless, the idea that it was the wardings that were affecting Sarah. And it was good, he was glad, glad he figured it out and helped her, but there was a downside to this. Now, more than ever, Dean was sure she was more supernatural than human and he was almost positive she had demon blood in her system. And he did not know how he felt about that.

A stale smell hit her, mixed with a scent of leather and parchments, if she could compare it to anything, it would be a library/museum smell, only much older. She let Dean lead her through a long tunnel that continued into a tile paved hallway and then they entered something that looked like the garage. From there Dean lead her to their right, up a bunch of stairs and into more hallways and by the time they reached the first 'normal' room, Sarah felt dizzy and lost. But at least the kitchen had a table and a chair and she collapsed on it, leaned her head in her hands and just focused on breathing.

She could hear noise of cupboards being opened or maybe a fridge and she felt Dean approach her. "Here." He said and she didn't even look up, but reached with her hand like she new exactly where it was and grabbed the cold water bottle. She opened it and took a long swing, instantly drinking almost all of it.

"Thanks. That helped. What was that?" She asked looking up at Dean. He seemed a bit reluctant to answer at first, but seemed to come up with a solution not to tell the whole story, at least not now. Maybe after she rested and... When he figures out how to tell her that she might have demonic blood in her system.

I mean, no matter how open-minded someone is, you can't just come up to them and say "We are having burgers for lunch, oh, and by the way, you're high on demon blood." Yeah, not an easy thing to just slip into a conversation.

"It was a kinda of a protection spell. The place is warded against... A few things supernatural. I'm... I'm sorry, I forgot about it, I didn't mean..." Dean could see some hurt in her eyes as she smiled and waved her hand off. She has been discriminated against her whole life and this... Still, she hid it well as she spoke.

"Oh, that's ok. Gotta keep safe, right? So... I suppose this is the kitchen, huh?" Sarah knew it was a poor excuse of a deflection, but she didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah. We are at the ground level now, and there is a big hall through there, and a big library..." Dean kept talking and explaining, but Sarah zoned out for a moment, feeling odd. Like there was a residue of whatever that spell was that kept the bunker safe. She never felt like this before. It was so consuming, mesmerizing feeling and she felt like she was weak to resist it, weak and tired and...

Ok, so maybe there was one feeling that was similar to this, the feeling she experienced back at high school when she and what she thought were her friends got together and hid in Mike Kripke's basement and made her try pot.

It felt intoxicating.

Sarah flinched out of her thoughts when Dean set his hand on her, and he quickly retracted it, but the concern in his eyes remained. "You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Just... Connecting to the place you know... It... It has so many different types of energies running around..." Sarah replied with a smile, but didn't hold Dean's gaze for long, opting to start looking around the kitchen again. For only a second, she imagined where everything in the cupboards was and she imagined herself moving around making...

"Maybe we should go to bed... You... I meant you... Maybe you should go and get some rest..." Dean said and looked away, cursing at his own choice of words.

"I should definitely get you into bed..." Sarah said sounding different, sounding strange. Sounding not like herself. More like someone who was a lot more playful and... But instead of correcting herself like Dean did, she chose to turn it into a joke. "...to get that cast off. I promised you I would, remember?" She said with a slight smirk. _Where is this coming from?_

Dan huffed a smile but nodded and with some manoeuvring, he got up from his chair. He led the way, and Sarah followed as they took a hallway to a grand hall, and Sarah was eye-wide with awe at the sight of the old War table, old equipment, but most of all at the sight of the vast library at the back.

But she kept her focus at Dean as she followed him, focusing on his tight ass and the way it moved whenever he took a step... _Oh my God, what is happening to me?_ She blushed like crazy and was so glad Dean had his back turned so that he did see it. Just as they were passing some old machines with lights and switches, Sarah felt such a jolt to her system that made her want to jump Dean, rip his clothes off and take him right there on the floor.

Sarah bit down on her lower lip so bad it started to bleed and she clenched her fists turning the knuckles white with pressure. She looked down on the tiles and counted them as she followed Dean into the hall with the bedrooms. She didn't notice he stopped and she bumped into him and reached out to grab a hold of something so as not to fall. That something turned out to be his upper arm, and they both gasped in surprise, before their eyes met and the whole world seem to fade away into nothing.

But Dean snapped out of it, cleared his throat and the moment passed too soon for her liking. She had no idea what was happening. Sure she liked Dean, she liked him a lot, but being this aroused all of a sudden, without clear cause...

"This, um... This is my room. You can take the one down the hall, second to the right, that one is empty. " Dean said looking at his door and reaching to open the door, while Sarah just nodded, and followed him in. "I...um... Sorry about the mess, I guess, I wasn't expecting company." Dean added with a slight blush.

The room wasn't really in a big of a mess, just a few shirts on the chair and ground, right next to some beer bottles and two empty pizza boxes and with an unmade bed.

"That's ok. Why, um... Why don't you lay down while I find some scissors and..." Sarah spoke as she moved around the room, picking up the shirts and tidying up, not really noticing what she was doing until Dean's hand clasped over hers and their eyes met once more.

"You don't have to do that." He said and glanced at the pile of his clothes in her hands and it seemed to snap her out of it , and she looked down and huffed a laugh.

"Sorry... Um force of habit, I guess. Especially when I 'm nervous." She replied setting the clothes on a chair.

"Nervous? Why are you nervous? I'm... I'm not gonna do anything." Dean said, the last part coming out as a shy whisper.

_God, I want him to do everything_ she thought, but said "No, I meant nervous about your leg. I am pretty sure it is healed by now, but if I am wrong, then..."

"It's healed, I'm sure. – Dean interrupted – Had my fair share of broken bones, so I know how it feels. Honestly, right now, it hurts more that I can't bend it and there is this part that cuts in a bit..." Dean's eyes snapped from his cast back on Sarah again as she hummed in agreement (_excitement_) and he nudged his head at his desk. "You have a pair of scissors there. Cut away."

"Ok...Um... Lay down." Sarah said trying to hide the nervousness in her voice. He did as he was told, and she sat by his hip, turning her back at him while she tried to focus on the cast. Slowly she began to cut, with each movement freeing his leg a bit more until it was cut all the way. Slowly she removed the cast, her hand around Dean's calf, listing his leg up, feeling the strong muscle that was there. She moved her fingers over the skin, ever so slowly, to remove the dust from the cutting and then focused her touch on the place the wound used to be. She pushed just a bit feeling it around and was satisfied with how well it healed.

She looked back at him to give him the good news, but was met with a slightly parted lips and something odd in his eyes and she wondered if she took too much time to remove the cast, did her current feelings affect her into making a wrong move, touched too much? It was now her turn to clear her throat and break his gaze.

"You should rest, not get up for while. Are you hungry, I can make you something to eat? Or order in?" She asked looking over the pizza boxes.

"Nah, you don't need to do that. Besides I'm fi..." Dean tried to get up, but Sarah's firm hand on his chest stopped him and he looked back into her eyes. Her own chest was heaving a bit as her heart pounded just a bit faster and her breaths came up just a bit shorter.

"R... Rest. I... I'll make us some breakfast." She said as she mustered enough strength not to lean in and kiss him, those full red lips of his that just screamed to be tasted and bit and Sarah almost ran out of the room. Dean wanted to protest, but found himself suddenly feeling very tired. He didn't get much sleep in the motel room yesterday and Sarah drove through the night to get them there, so any sleep he got was while he was crammed up in the car.

"You... You should rest ttoooaaa..." Dean said with a yawn. "You drove all night, you must be tired. Promise me that you will lay down and rest too, and then when we can eat, ok?"

Sarah nodded and quickly left the room. She turned to her left to find a room for herself but remembered they left the car outside and she knew how much baby meant to Dean, so she decided to find her way back to the garage and park the car inside. She went right, coming to the War room and feeling more of that previous arousal bubbling up. Sarah decided to push it down and just do what she was supposed to. She could deal with it once she found a room.

After parking the car in the garage, on her way to the dorms, passing through the War room, she found herself panting and her heart seemed ready to explode. It was like someone plugged her in, but not in just any outlet, in a erotic one and she felt every bone in her body shaking with desire and that intoxicating feel of pleasure. As fast as she could, Sarah ran to the dorms, found the room Dean pointed to, entered it and slam the door shut.

* * *

Dean woke up completely relaxed and rested. With a sleepy his face he turned in his bed, and cracked open his eyes to look around, frowning seeing that he was in his room. Slowly the memory of what happened crawled into his mind and he snapped up. He only remembered his leg when he leaned on it, trying to get up off the bed and he winced at the small pain that shot through it. It wasn't broken anymore, but it still hurt. Slowly, he moved to the door and walked out of his room in search of Sarah.

He didn't understand. All he thought about was getting to the bunker and to a specific drawer that had a certain locating spell on it, but instead somehow managed to fall asleep and let 4 hours pass for nothing. Last thing he remembered was Sarah telling him to rest and he said she should do the same and then he just... Dozed off. That was weird, even by his standards.

He found Sarah in the library, munching on a sandwich, surrounded by stack of books. She looked so in her element and so... Familiar.

"Oh, hey! - Sarah said cheery - Good, you're up. I got news..." Dean raised an eyebrow, and opened his mouth to ask when Sarah just continued, trying to say a lot in a short amount of time, some of the things she said didn't make any sense to Dean.

"So, get this... I went back to get the car and went past this thing in the war room and there... There is definitely some weird energy there, made me... Anyway, I couldn't sleep, so I went back to it, and the radio, it isn't really working, but it still kinda spoke to me and I... I tried to find out what it wanted to say and thought I would find the answer maybe in these books..."

Sarah kept talking, stopping a moment to chew and swallow a piece of her sandwich and she offered the other one she had to Dean. The hunter sat opposite her and listened.

"I mean, the books you have here are amazing! Like, there are explanations on every thing out there, what makes a certain creature react in a different way and what can hurt them and... Like did you know you can confuse a 'unpure blood' werewolf with a dog whistle? Or, or... That while there are some creatures you can kill by decapitation, there are others that can survive that, like..."

"I know, like..." Dean tried as he remembered the nachzehrer, or the werepire as he called them, but Sarah had something else in mind.

"Like Leviathans. Oh, these things are..." She started, but Dean cut her off.

"I know." He said abruptly and raised his voice a bit, the memories of the Leviathan fight still haunting him along with the memories of Purgatory. "We fought them, we killed them. They are gone."

Sarah felt there was more to it, but decided to drop the matter seeing the serious look on Dean's face. She might have sensed a connection to Sam's current situation, but she didn't know that was it. She instead kept quiet and watched him take a deep breath before getting up and walking to a shelf. He pulled a piece of parchment from the drawer below it and brought it to the table along with a small bag.

Sarah wanted to ask, but Dean's previous behaviour of '_not taking any nonsense'_ made her remain quiet, however she did allow herself a curious glance. Dean on the other hand noticed her retracting and holding back after he cut her off so abruptly and signed. He wanted to apologize, but felt that bringing back attention to it will only serve to blow the whole thing up, so he decided to say nothing on the matter, but focus on what he was doing and... Maybe explaining it to her too.

"Tracking spell. I light this map up and chant a few words in Latin and the fire will burn all of the map except for the place Sam is." Dean said as he opened up the parchment to reveal a map of the United states and he pulled out a hair from his pocket and set it on the map. Sarah assumed it was Sam's and that Dean must have picked it up in his brother's room, but something else bothered her and this time she had to ask.

"Don't... don't you have to be a witch to perform spells?"

"Normally you do, especially for big spells, it is better to have someone who knows what they are doing." Dean explained, never wondering why he praised witches now instead of condemning them. "But small spells like these, anyone can do them. You just have to know the right words. Invenire scopum!" He said as he lit the map up. Sarah found it strange that a simple command like _Find the target!_ would work (She was a nurse so she studied Latin), but she had to admire the slight red flames that seemed to cheerfully dance on the table, burning the paper down, not leaving a mark on the table. In fact, not leaving a mark at all.

"Damn it!" Dean cursed startling Sarah. "The spell didn't work. They must be hidden somehow..."

"Or you just need a bigger map." Sarah offered and Dean looked at her completely baffled. Of course, why would he just assume Sam was still in the States? Whoever took him could have taken him anywhere in these past five or six days. Oh, he could just... Kiss her right now.

Instead, Dean sprung around, leaned his weight on his still hurting leg and stumbled forward. Sarah caught him and their eyes met for a second. "You're a genius." Dean interrupted the moment and moved to take a map of the whole world. He repeated the process of burning the map and Sarah watched as all hope drained from Dean, as he went pale and clearly beaten by the fact that the whole map burned, not leaving any clue as to where his brother was.

He stormed out of the room and Sarah felt torn for a moment before she turned to follow him and to try and comfort him, knowing they will find Sam. Her instincts told her to stay, but her heart told her to go after him. Oh if only she didn't. If only she stayed.

If she stayed, she would have seen a small piece of ash fall down on the table after being lifted into the air by the flames. A small piece of ash, of paper that was scorched on the rim, but pure white inside and had the tiniest inscription on it. Three little letters. D Y E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, told ya there was a reason Sam and Juls were put on the North Pole. Not just because I can just randomly turn off the heat, but also, this way, they could hardly be tracked. I know this chapter was... Slow and not really eventful if you don't count Sarah's clear empathic feeling of what Sam and Juls were doing, but I hope you liked it. Did I mention I love reviews?
> 
> Oh, and just because you all have been such amazing readers, I will reveal a something... The two pairs will soon reunite. But that's far from the end on this story.


	26. Never gonna give you up

Julia woke up with a yawn and stretched her arms wide only to find the other side of the bed completely empty. Only for a second she felt sadness washing over her, wishing she could have once again awake in Sam's embrace, then huffed a smile remembering just how many times she ended up there engulfed by his gigantic arms. She was sure he was somewhere near, not like he could have gone anywhere, nowhere to go, really. So it was either the shower, the kitchen or the maintenance room.

Getting up she rubbed the sleepiness off her eyes and took a deep breath. It has been a while since she had such a good, resting sleep, even if it was short. It wasn't just that she felt refreshed and anew, but there was also the lack of nightmares that followed her for the last 10 years. _A coincidence._ she thought, but deep down there was that strange feeling that filled her entire body, from head to toe, and she just couldn't drop that silly smile plastered on her face.

Was it good to open up like that and let someone in? And a Winchester out of all? Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Maybe the fact that Sam is who he is made all the difference.

After Jake, Julia never deluded herself that she will find her Romeo to come and sweep her off her feet, but now that was an actual possibility. For now, any doubt that it might not work out or that it might end badly was completely washed away and seemed like something impossible and far-fetched. But was it really like that, or was she just too high from that feeling of being in lo...

"Oh... Wow..." Julia let out, surprise flashing in her dark brown eyes, but the smile never left her full red lips. Was she... Really? In love?

A clanking sound brought her back to reality and she could hear movement in the next room, the bathroom. Sam must have been taking a shower. She wondered if he already finished or was he just starting, an idea popping up in her head that she might sneak in and surprise him in the shower. You know, so that they would save water. She buit her lip while a mischievous smile crawled up on her lips and she got out of bed, reaching into the dresser to take some clothes and she opened the bedroom door and stepped out.

She stepped out and ran straight into a giant wall of Sam, instantly hit by the smell of lavender. Why did I say wall? Because, just like a wall, Sam was completely unfazed by the fact that Juls ran into him, while she stumbled back and if it wasn't for his strong hands on her shoulder, she would have fallen.

Talk about a déjà vu.

But it was different this time than the last, the awkwardness morphing into butterflies that suddenly filled the room, even though Julia was completely oblivious to them. All she could see is his eyes, the colour of the ocean depths and his smiling lips as they approached her, setting the nicest, sweetest kiss Julia ever felt. Instantly, she melted into the kiss, feeling like putty in his strong arms that held onto her tight.

God, he tasted so sweet, like green gummy bears she would leave in the bag for later while she ate the less appealing red ones. His strong arms held her in place, tight, but not to tight, safe and comforting. His hair fell and brushed her cheek and she wanted to giggle at it, but was too far up on cloud nine.

Sam eventually pulled away and watched her with an amused smile as she kept her eyes closed, her lips pursed and had an overall dazzled appearance. He huffed a smile and lifted his hand to her face, softly caressing her cheek. "Hey, you still with me?"

"Huh? Yeah, yup. Yes, I'm here..." Julia says breaking out of her daze, her dreamy eyes focusing on Sam and she smiles so bright it instantly warms his heart. He looked away as if he can't hold her gaze, but only for a brief second before his eyes are back on hers, searching. He doesn't know what tomorrow brings, he doesn't know what the next hour brings, but he doesn't care right now. Once he broke through the constant _what if_s, all that mattered is just being with her.

"Why don't you take a shower and I'll make some... Lunch?" Sam asked, remembering what day it was, even mattered. Julia seemed like she wanted to say something, probably something flirty, but instead she just nodded. Still, Sam kept his firm grip on her shoulders, just looking into her eyes as if he has forgotten he is supposed to let her go.

Julia felt the same, just staring into his eyes, completely forgetting she is supposed to turn and walk away. As if some unspoken conversation took place, Sam lowered his head just as Julia lifted hers and once more their lips met in a softest and sweetest kiss either ever felt. Slowly the soft turned into a bit rough, the sweet turned into a bit hungry and before they knew it, Sam was throwing Julia against a wall, reaching out to her ass and lifting her up while he kissed her furiously.

Three minutes in, Sam looked about ready to rip her clothes off, but Julia tapped the shoulder and he backed his head away from her bruised neck to look at her. God she looked so beautiful all flustered and panting as she tried to catch her breath so that she could speak.

"I... Should... Really... Go take... That... Shower... Now." She said, her chest still heaving from her deep breaths, but a playful smirk on her lips. It seemed like she was purposely leading him on and teasing and was about to skid away leaving him all worked up.

But then she went and added "Maybe you could, um... Join me?" The mere thought of having sex in the shower, in the bathroom followed by a thought that they could mark every room as their own sent a jolt to Sam's nether regions, but decided maybe he should back down, just to let her... Regain herself.

So Sam let go of her and as Julia's feet touched the ground, he huffed a smile, looked shyly down on the ground for a moment and then raised his eyes to meet hers. "Maybe another time... I'll go make something to eat, you go and just... Relax, ok?" He leaned in and placed another soft kiss on her lips as if he was assuring her he wasn't backing down, he wasn't running away, he was just... Giving her a bit of space.

She nodded and let her hand slip off his shoulder and she watched him walk away and round the corner, still plastered on that wall. Took her a lot of strength to peel herself off and grab the fresh clothes that fell on the floor. God, she wanted him again, right now. But she also knew her body needed a breather and her mind needed to stop spinning.

Julia walked into the bathroom and stripped, letting the sweat soaked clothes fall to the ground. She shoved them aside for now and brushed her stomach, her scar with her hand like she did every time she was going for a shower. It was a ritual of sorts, where she would remind herself of what she lost and with no actual baby to caress and to hold, she could only connect with it through the scar. Then she would go into the shower and wash away all those feelings, lock them somewhere deep inside and come out to face a new day.

This time was different. This time she traced the lines of the scar, but felt just a little bit more at peace. It never stopped hurting, it never will, but today the pain seemed to subdue. It wasn't as strong. But when she went under the shower spray, it didn't go away, it didn't wash off. It lingered there as the guilt rose up like bile in her throat. Did she deserve to be happy with someone else?

The more she stayed under the shower the more doubts crept into her mind. What if this doesn't work? If they die here, then fine, but what if they don't? What if they make it out and... A sharp pain drove itself through Julia's chest and dispersed throughout her body. What if Sam decides she isn't worth the effort? What if Sam decides she is too broken, too damaged? Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, her scar... She needed to tell him. She needed to rip that band-aid off and see if he wavers.

Meanwhile Sam was in the kitchen, waiting for Julia to finish so that he could microwave another Campbell fast meal. He had the cans with fruit ready to open and ice-cream on standby, all to be placed in a big bowl for them to share.

Despite the wide smile on his face, Sam wasn't cheery. Sam was terrified. So many things could go wrong with this, but he was the one that decided he wanted this, he would fight for this. And not just because if it wasn't for this, he would have nothing to fight for, no. It was because Julia was someone worth fighting for. And he was going to make sure she knows this. With Sam there was no what if they don't make it out of there, deep down he knew they would. Deep down, he knew his brother won't rest until he found him, but Sam could only hope he doesn't do anything stupid to make that happen.

After the whole Chuck fiasco they agreed, no more Heaven, no more Hell. Rowena has things wrapped up downstairs, Jack with Cas's help is running Heaven and they are in between, going back to basic hunting. The deal was that everyone focused on their tasks and aside from friendly visits, there won't be any unnecessary business calls unless there is another apocalypse a foot. But for Dean to not know where his brother is, is very close to apocalyptic, so...

"You just need a white apron and I got myself a perfect housewife." Julia sounded from the door with a half honest smile.

Sam huffed a smile and looked down onto his hands that were holding two plates, setting them up for the meal. "Yeah, a perfect housewife who can make omelet and microwave dinners and that's about it." Sam joked.

"Don't worry about it, I suck at cooking too. I would even burn the soup if I attempted to cook it." Julia replied coming closer to him, but still keeping her distance. It confused Sam just a bit, but he chocked it off to her probably being hungry, so he turned to finish up with the microwave. "Need help?" She asked, but when Sam replied that he's got it, Julia went to the table and sat down, bringing her elbows up on the table and setting her hands before her like in a prayer, her fingers intertwined. How the hell is she gonna tell him? How to even start? _Sam, we gotta talk..._ Ugh. Shivers went down her spine at the mere thought of that line.

While Julia contemplated how to start a conversation she didn't want to have, but knew she needed to, Sam finished making the meal and brought the full plates to the table. He could see there was something bothering Julia, she was too quiet and too deep in thought, but he didn't know what it might be, so he decided to wait for her to tell him. That, however didn't stop his brain from coming up with possibilities as to what it might be as Sam ate, glancing over at Julia every few seconds.

Was he too rough? Maybe she didn't like that? Maybe she was having second thoughts, doubts that this might work. Or she is scared that they won't get out of here and that they will never know if it would work.

What about the way she reacted when he grabbed her hands and propped them above her head? Maybe he went too far. She did flinch hard when he touched her stomach, the scar he felt under his fingers. He never really saw it, so he couldn't tell what it looked like, it was always too dark. No, her physical appearance and how he perceived it couldn't be what was bothering her, she was too tough for something like that.

Then what could it be?

Sam gasped and managed to choke on a piece of meat in his food, so much so that Julia's eyes shot up and after a moment she asked "You need me to.." when Sam couldn't stop, swallow or spit the piece out. He shook his head and pounded on his chest, finally dislodging the thing and swallowing it down.

"You sure you're ok?" Julia asked looking at him in an alarming matter, waiting for him to start coughing again and ready to react if needed. Sam nodded, getting up and taking a bottle of water from the fridge to clear his throat. "What happened?" Julia asked wondering what would make him choke on his food like that.

Sam took a deep breath and sat back on his chair looking straight into Julia's eyes. "I remembered something."

There was a smile on her face when she asked "And what is that?"

"That we... That I forgot we didn't have a condom." Sam replied dead serious.

Julia's smile dropped, but she didn't choke on a bite she had in her mouth, instead she swallowed it hard looking down on her plate.

"That... Won't be a problem..." Julia barely whispered.

Confusion crossed Sam's face, and for a moment he wanted to ask if she was on a pill or something, but remembered that for a woman to be on the pill, she would actually have to have the pills on her and take them daily. So, maybe it was some other form of protection... But the hurt look on her face, the barely recognizable sign of tears she is trying so hard to keep at bay, told Sam this was something... Much more serious. He reached out to touch her hand across the table, his eyes telling her that he is there, listening if she needed it, or just there. It was obvious he wanted to know what was bothering her, but he wouldn't push it, instead letting her decide if she wanted to tell him.

Julia drew a shaky breath and finally looked him in the eyes, managing to hold his gaze only for a moment before she had to look away.

"You... You felt the scar on my stomach..." she formed it partly like a question, partly like a statement, like she was wondering if he would know what it meant, but needed to make clear exactly what it meant, no matter what he thought. She heard him suck a quiet breath, and felt his hand tighten around hers, but she still didn't have strength look at him. Aside from her father who never mentioned it, nobody else knew, she never talked about it, with anyone.

For ten years, she never mentioned it, she never spoke about it out loud, she never let herself break down over it.

"The demon... The one that took Jake and made him... Made me... The one that tortured me while wearing Jake's face... He tormented me for four days, cut me, and stabbed me, and made me... He made me... He raped me and made me..." Tears started to flow, no matter how hard she tried to keep them inside and she sniffed and brought her head up, still desperately trying to keep the tears inside.

Sam felt furry rise inside of him, but he didn't let it surface, that wasn't what Julia needed right now. Naturally, the thought that the demon might have left her pregnant crossed his mind, but that didn't explain the scar. Another scary thought crossed his mind that she might have done it to herself in an attempt to... No, best to hear her out.

"He used every good memory Jake had to twist it into something that it wasn't, saying he was cheating on me, lying to me, going so far as to say he was working with demons and monsters. But there was one thing, one thing he couldn't twist, one thing he couldn't manipulate around so that it would hurt me, so... He... He..." Julia sucked in another sharp breath, tears still flowing, but she cleared her throat and wouldn't let a broken sob escape. No, she would try to hold on to the last shred of self control she had. Breathing in and out, loudly, she continued.

"I... Before he took me, before he took Jake... I... Sam, I was pregnant. Jake and I, we... We were going to... - she paused, swallowing all those emotions before she continued – I... I was maybe 4 months when the demon took me... He hurt me in every way possible and when it had no other way to hurt me... He... He... He carved into me and opened me up and he took out... He took out my baby..."

Halfway though her speech, Sam was already up, his chair on the ground, his arms around Julia, holding onto her tight. The dam broke, tears flooded Sam's shirt while his chest filled with her sobs. She didn't have to say anything else, she couldn't anyway, and Sam understood. He understood pain and loss, though he could never phantom what it would feel like to have a child, your own flesh and blood ripped out of you and killed before your eyes in such a gruesome way, much less having to bear that burden all by yourself for ten years.

Julia cried, opening that Pandora's box she always considered it would be fatal for her to open. But considering these might be her last days on Earth, maybe it was time she stopped fighting some things she shouldn't have been fighting at all. So she cried, she let herself fall apart in his arms. This isn't what she wanted, this wasn't really supposed to happen. She felt so pathetic and weak, but she had no more strength to keep that mask on.

So she just cried and he let her, holding her tight and not letting go not saying a word. It was only when he felt her calm just a bit that he chanced to loosen one hand and place it on her head, close to her neck and just hold her tenderly to his chest. His heartbeat was so soothing to her ears she found herself calming down even more. For a good hour they stayed like that until finally Julia pulled away shyly, wiping her tears on her sleeves and looking down, not daring to say a word. She wanted to apologize for bursting into tears the way she did, but couldn't even muster the strength to look into his eyes, much less speak.

"Hey. – Sam said, touching her chin with the side of his index finger and lifting it up so their eyes could meet. – It's ok. You don't... You don't have to say anything else if you don't want to, it's ok. I... I cannot even imagine what that must have felt like, but... I want you to know. I'm here. Anything you need I am here..."

"You... you willing to just look past this? The fact that I can't... Look past the fact that I am broken?" She asked pulling her face away from his hand and looking away once more.

Sam gripped her chin and forced her to look at him as he responded. "You aren't broken! Don't you ever think that! You are not broken. You... are perfect." Sam leaned in and placed a soft tender kiss on her lips feeling the salty taste of her tears and pulled back. Julia stared into his eyes, trying to understand what he just said, trying to comprehend what she did to deserve him by her side, holding her and not condemning her for being damaged and infertile.

"Why don't you go lay down for a while? I'll come as soon as I clean up in here, ok?" Sam offered and she just nodded and left the kitchen. Sam waited for the doors to close and for Julia to make some distance between them before he brought his hand down on the table so hard, it split in two. His hand bled, but he didn't care. If , no when they get out of there and if that demon is still alive, he will find him and he will make him pay. He will make Hell's rack look like a picnic compared to what he will do to him.

Taking a minute to calm himself, he picked up the broken pieces of the table and set them aside, cleaning up the broken plates too. He put the fruit cans away and the bowl he was going to use for dessert, while the anger still bubbled inside of him, his eyes distant and cold. But by the time he reached the bedroom he stowed the anger away for another time and pulling out all the warmth he could muster he entered the room to see Julia curled up on his side of the bed looking away at the wall.

Without even asking, he laid behind her, spooning her and he wrapped his arms around her shivering figure, pulling her back close to his chest. She reached and set her hand over his and he placed a small kiss on her shoulder, or more specifically on her shirt, but it was the gesture that mattered.

Julia let herself be pulled into a warm safe embrace, taking a moment to appreciate it, to appreciate Sam and to thank the Lord for sending him her way. She never thought it would be possible, to let herself feel like this, to feel it all. The pain of loss and the joy of finding someone. The burden of the past and the elevating feeling of a possible future. She snuggled into his embrace and just let herself feel his warmth and his heartbeat.

They made love again that evening before the lights went out. But it was so much different than the first time as Sam took his time and made sure to approach her as softly and caringly as he could. His hands were ever so gentle on her skin, caressing and touching as he placed soft, warm kisses all over her body. At one point she wanted to call him out on it and say she isn't made of glass and she wouldn't break so easily, not after having done it once already that day but she stopped herself, instead letting herself feel what it was like to be cared for, to be held like a rain drop on a palm of one's hand. To be loved and worshiped. To be the center of someone's attention with a promise that it will be like that forever.

Neither noticed, neither heard the radio in the maintenance room going off on its own, first producing a buzzing sound that slowly faded into music and the lyrics filled the room...

_ "Never gonna give you up  
Never gonna let you down  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry  
Never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you..."(Rick Astley) _


	27. Owner of a lonely heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started writing this story, I wrote down how I wanted the girls to be, and I think it is as good time as any to share it with you.
> 
> Julia is a bit like Dean, rough around the edges but deep down scared and scarred, she just wants to feel loved and safe. This is where Sam's role turns from being protected (by his big brother) into being the protector.
> 
> Sarah on the other hand appears soft and easy going, cheerful and a bit shy, but she has some amazing inner strength that shines so bright. Dean's role has also changed from being the protector to having someone take care of him, and his needs and saving him, sacrificing her whole life to do so.
> 
> What do you guys think, did I achieve this?

Sarah followed Dean to his room, but he shut the door in her face, not on purpose. Anger fueled him and once the door was shut, he took a moment to lash out on the closest wall, punching it with his fist, cutting himself in the process. He has been so enveloped in his rage he didn't even know she followed him until he heard her on the other side of his door. "Dean?" She sounded, gently rapping at his door.

"I just... I just need a moment." Dean replied. Dean, the big hunter, the hero of God's great story, ran into his room like a scared child, hiding from the fact that he is useless.

"We... We will find him. We just need to try harder..." Sarah's reassurances came from the hallway and for a moment he just wished she would go away. Why was she even here, why was she helping him? He kept telling himself he was bringing her to the bunker to keep her safe, but she didn't need his protection, she didn't need him. He needed her. And it easy fair. It wasn't fair on her, none of this was. He opened his mouth to say something, maybe sorry, maybe goodbye, maybe I need you, but he never got the chance.

"Ok, how about this? I will go and make some late lunch since you skipped breakfast and once we eat we could hit the books and try to find another way to... Find them, ok?" Sarah asked and waited for an answer that never came. After a few minutes she said "Ok, I'm gonna go make that lunch." and then she left.

Dean breathed in and out trying hard to calm himself and reel that anger back in. Looking down on his bleeding knuckle, he clenched his jaw and pressed his lips into a thin line. He hated this. He hated that he couldn't find his brother, that he couldn't help him. He hated that when Sarah sees him, she is going to see that hand and worry over something that isn't important. He isn't important. Sam is. Sam is still missing, he is still out there alone and...

Suddenly Dean's eyes widened and Sarah's words from merely a few minutes ago echoed in his head. "_...try to find another way to... Find **them**..." _Of course. Sam wasn't alone. He was with that woman, Julia, the one that disappeared at the same time he did. Dean didn't have a clue as to why someone would take her, maybe it was part of a greater plan, maybe she was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, but that didn't matter now. No, what matter was that she was a lead he shouldn't have overlooked.

"Hola?" Said the voice on the other side of the line.

"Pablo?" Dean spoke into his phone.

"Who are you and how did you get this number?" The Hispanic voice of Pablo asked with wariness and alarm.

"It's... It's Dean, Sarah's friend. We met over the bike..." Dean tried to explain but was cut off.

"You! What do you want?! You are nothing but trouble, hombre! La policía came to ask questions about the motor..."

"Please tell me you still have it?" Dean cut off Pablo's rants, hoping the mechanic didn't chop it down for parts. It was a long pause before Pablo answered.

"And what if I do?" Pablo might have been Sarah's friend, but he was also a business man.

"I'll give 500 bucks to save it and another 1000 to holler it to Lebanon, Kansas." Dean set down an offer. He knew Pablo could get more just on the parts, never mind the engine, but he hoped that Pablo's soft spot for Sarah might influence his decision.

There was another long pause before Pablo sighed and then finally gave an answer. "Fine! But just because of Sarah. You better take good care of that girl, cabrón, otherwise..."

"I will." Dean promised, not wanting to lie, but it was a lie. He wanted to take care of her, he wanted to be the one to keep her safe and sound, but considering recent events, he wasn't equipped to do that, not the least. In fact, Sarah would be better off without him.

Shoving his feelings aside, Dean hung up the phone when Pablo told him the bike could be there in the morning and started out of his room.

He found Sarah in the kitchen, and stopped at the doorway just to watch her with wonder. She was there a day and already she managed to familiarize herself with the entire kitchen, swaying back and forth to some cheery music. No, not just any music, not just any song. It was Rick Astley's "Never gonna give you up" and it made Dean mentally shiver remembering how he couldn't get the damn thing out of his head for weeks when he first heard it.

He batted the song out of his head and instead chose to focus on Sarah, as her actions and movements brought a smile to his face. She was just moving around so gracefully, frying something and at the same time checking another pot, all the while slowly moving to the rhythm of the song, her hips swaying, her long legs straightening and bending at the knee. Her shoulders moving up and down and her... That's when he noticed it. The shirt, the jeans... those were the same she wore back at the hospital. Those were the only items of clothing she had left, if he didn't count the AC/DC shirt he gave her.

"Hey... I was just making some tomato soup and fritters with zucchini... It was all I could find... But don't worry, you won't taste the zucchini at all." Sarah brought him out of his thoughts when she spotted him standing by the door, watching her. "Should be done in a half an hour."She added as she turned back to the stove. Sarah sensed the change in Dean, that the anger softened down and she was picking up curiosity and some warm and fuzzy feeling she did not want to identify. Yet.

"Good, great. So listen, I was thinking about what you said..." Dean started and smiled when Sarah turned her attention to him once more. "You said we would find **them.** And I remembered Sam might not be alone in this, so it would be a bad idea to exclude the woman that was taken with him..." As he spoke he could see Sarah's eye light up with intrigue and he could tell she was glad he had a lead. "So, I called Pablo and asked him to holler the bike here. I could use some stuff from it to try a locating spell for this... Julia. He said the bike would be here by morning." Dean informed and peeked around Sarah at the boiling pot that threatened to spill.

"Oh, sshhhhh...oot..." Sarah said turning her attention back on the stove and Dean smiled, figuring that's not at all what she was gonna say. He watched as Sarah turned the heat down and turned back to him with a _oops_ smile that was just so adorable on her.

"OK, so you said an hour, right? That should give me time to go on a supply-run, there are some things I need and... Do you need anything?" He asked.

"No, nothing, thanks... Well, actually, you're all out of milk. And eggs." She replied smiling. She did need a few things, it was true, but it could wait. Helping Dean out was a priority for her now and that meant helping him find Sam. She would think about herself later.

"Ok, be back in an hour." Dean replied and watched her turn back to the stove, picking up a mixing spoon and tasting the tomato soup. He couldn't help his eyes that decided to linger on her form, some strange longing flashing in his eyes. There was just something about that girl that made his heart skip a beat any time she looked at him, something that made his heart swell watching her move and do regular things.

But Sam was priority.

Sarah went back to cooking, humming to the song on the radio. She picked out some of the fritters out of the pan and put on another batch, swaying to the sounds of her favorite songs. Next came the song "Owner of a lonely heart" by Yes and she couldn't help think of Dean. From what she could see, all Dean is, is Sam. It almost feels like if there wasn't Sam, there wouldn't be Dean.

But no matter how much of himself he gave to his brother, he will always be lonely.

Not because Sam doesn't love him, or care about him. No, it is because Dean just keeps giving and giving and not taking a single thing for himself, not allowing himself to feel the love and care of others, and at the end, he is left empty and alone. Dean really needs to start thinking more about Dean.

Still, Sarah knew that can't happen now, not while Sam is missing. So in order to save Dean, to save that little scared boy inside of him, she needs to help him save Sam first.

Figuring that out, Sarah tried to refocus on the song as she steered the boiling pot, adding some pepper and a mixture of spices. She couldn't help but be reminded of her childhood, of how she once ran away and ended up in the city of Angels, wondering it's streets alone. That was when Uncle Dom found her. His 70's Dodge Charger almost hit her while racing, and he almost lost the race because of her.

But it wasn't the races she remembered, no, it was how he took her in and helped her by finding Doc. It was the long nights that they ordered pizza and played video games. Uncle Dom liked to play football, but Sarah was mostly interested in, and Dom found it hilariously ironic, GTA Vice City. *

It was a racing, steel money, beat people up and accept missions kind of video game. And every time the character would steel a car, you could change the radio station from Rock and Heavy Metal to Soft Pop and Latin Jazz. There was even a station that had Politics talk 24/7 and nothing else. But there are a few songs that stuck out to Sarah, one she memorized and every time she heard them, it would remind her of her time with uncle Dom. Like this song "Owner of a lonely heart."

Strangely enough, as if the radio station she was listening to knew where her mind was going, the next song played was one of the GTA's too - Laura Branigan - "Self Control", and then the next one too - Michael Jackson - "Billie Jean". It kept the smile on her face as she listened and swayed to the songs, finishing up the late lunch. All the memories she had of her time with Dom, him teaching her how to drive and how to drive really good, it all floated around in her mind, a few of the happy memories she had in her life. But soon her thoughts drifted to Dean, starting from their escape from the warehouse and how she drove them out of there to their arrival to the bunker.

Then the next song started and she huffed another smile listening to how video killed the radio star. It was a song about new technology and about the new times, and Sarah just had to smile at the irony of her current location, deep inside a World War II bunker where she was surrounded by old machines. She hummed at first and then actually started singing, looking around for the plates. Dean would be back soon, and the lunch was finished and ready to be served and "Video killed the radio star...Video killed the radio star... In my mind and in my car... We can't rewind we've gone too far... Oh, a, a, a, oh... Oh, a, a, a, oh... Video killed the radio star..."

And slowly her smile faded into a serious face with a slight frown as she kept repeating the lyrics, every time she repeated it, she cut off a part of the sentence until she was left repeating one word. "Killed the radio star... The radio star... The radio..." She didn't even notice when she walked out of the kitchen, she just found herself standing in the War room, in front of the desk-like machine that was the first thing that came into view when a person comes down the stairs. It had a lot of lights and switches and knobs and a speaker, it could have served as a radio. Sarah just stood in front of it, watching it, thinking, wondering... Just when she reached with her hand and came so close to making contact with it, the screech of the old door startled her, and she whipped around to the source of the sound only to find Dean at the top of the staircase.

Instantly, a strange, fluffy feeling washed over her, the machine behind her completely forgotten, and a wide smile that caressed her face mirrored the one Dean was sporting as he saw her from the balcony. He skipped down the stairs carrying some grocery bags, along with a few paper hand bags in his hand. "Hey... OK, so I got milk and eggs and flour and a bunch of other stuff... Pie, of course..."

"Mustn't forget pie..." Sarah teased, but Dean didn't mind.

"Toilet paper... We needed more..." Dean said shyly and then quickly continued " Yeah, I got, beer and orange juice and yeah..." He bit his lip. It was a bit clear that he was stalling, but Sarah didn't know why. Her questioning gaze met his emerald green eyes and after a few seconds, he finally surrendered huffing a breath and reached for the hand bags. "I... I got you something too... I hope you don't mind, I..." Whatever he was trying to say got stuck in his throat as he watched Sarah reach into one of the hand bags and pull out a clothing item.

"Oh...wow..." That reaction didn't really say anything to Dean about whether she liked or disliked the cute summer dress, the color of peach. The dress she pulled out amongst other clothing didn't have flowers on it, but rather flower petals of a bleak yellow color. A wide smile very slowly formed on Sarah's face as she held the dress up, looking at it with eyes filled with wonder. And when those eyes slipped back on to Dean he sucked in a breath, feeling that smile warm his heart instantly.

"Thank you... Than you... I... " She started, her eyes slipping back on the dress and she kept talking. " I love it... And it's my favorite color too... Peach... And these... These are like... Like pineapple. Peach and pineapple... Like a cobbler, peach cobbler... " The more she spoke, the less sense she made and Dean watched her confusingly as she kept the smile on her face, making it all that much more weird. "Ice - cream. We need ice-cream and... and whip cream and... and a cherry on the top. Yeah..." Dean watched, extremely confused as Sarah snapped out of it and just kept talking like nothing strange happened. "Hey, so the lunch... Well, make that dinner since it is almost 8 PM, but... Yeah, the meal is ready." She said never losing the smile.

Dean nodded and followed her to the kitchen, but mid way, Sarah stopped and turned to him just to say "Thank you. Really."

"All things considered, it was the least I could do." Dean replied with a soft smile.

Sarah's face covered in warmth and her eyes sparked as she looked at him, before she replied "Still. Thank you. "

* * *

**12 hours later, around 8 AM**

Sarah was walking back to her room, she and Dean just finished breakfast and Dean went ahead to meet Pablo's guy for Julia's bike. She was going to her room, to pick up a book she was reading last night, while waiting for Dean to return. She went past the same machine from the last night, went past it and then doubled back. Staring at it with wary and curious eyes, she held her breath as she reached for the big on switch.

Immediately, sounds of the static filled the room and she listened, frowning for a good minute or two, but nothing happened. Just as she was about to shut it down and go about her business, a voice broke through, just barely audible.

"...is DYE th... North... Does any... cop... one... there... This... three, North... Can... hear me?"

Sarah's eyes went wide and goosebumps ran throughout her system the more she listened.

"S...Sam?"


	28. I say a little prayer

"This is DYE three North Pole research station. Does anyone copy? Is anyone out there? This is DYE three, North Pole. Can anyone hear me?" Sam tried once again, never giving up on trying to reach someone. The thought, the hope that his brother would come for him and Julia slowly started to fade, but even if it didn't, Sam still felt like he needed to do something, to help out from his end. He decided to try the radio that morning before breakfast, to change it up a bit since they would usually do it after they ate. Julia was in the kitchen, microwaving another meal while Sam spoke into the mic, not really expecting to hear a reply.

He said the line and when static replied, he sighed. The slow loss of hope wasn't really making him desperate at this point, just sad. Sad that if he met his fate here, if this was it, he would regret not saying goodbye to Dean. He would regret leaving him behind. And he would regret not having more time with Julia. They both deserved more time with each other.

"S...a(m)?"

Sam flinched and looked at the radio with wide eyes. Was that static, his imagination playing tricks on him, or did someone just call his name? No, must be his imagination. _I am slowly loosing it._ He thought.

"Sam?" He flinched hard to the sound of his own name, and wiped around to see Julia standing at the doorway with that amazing smile of hers, but some curiosity in her eyes. She was probably wondering what scared him, considering the look on his face and how fast he turned to face her. "You ok?"

"Yeah..." Sam responded huffing a laugh. It was his imagination. " Breakfast ready?" When Julia nodded he continued "Let's go eat." Sam reached and shut the radio off, just before someone's voice broke through the static. He got up and walked to Juls, reaching to take his hand in hers, intertwine their fingers and together, they went in the direction of the kitchen.

They ate mostly in silence, neither having much to say at this point. There were no words necessary, not with this situation. The night before, around 8 pm, Sam stepped outside and went back to check the fuel tank, and he finally found the reason why it was lights out at midnight. Apparently there was a timer set outside that cut the fuel supply at a given time, probably to preserve the fuel. He couldn't reset it, not without a code of sorts, but even if he had the code, it wouldn't matter. The fuel was running low. Extremely low. Sam didn't really know the consumption ratio, so he couldn't calculate how much time they had. All he could establish is that their time was running out.

Julia reached and clasped her hand over Sam's, making him look at her, and she smiled an assuring smile. Not the _we-will-be-alright(saved)_ assuring smile, but rather the one _it-is-ok-we-did-what-we-could_ assuring smile. She had no regrets aside for her dad not knowing what happened to her and not saying her goodbyes. Otherwise she was happy. She finally found someone she could be with, and if she wasn't so calm and at peace about it, she would scream at the sky at the irony. Figures her luck, finding the one for her and dying soon after. But Juls was glad, glad that she wasn't alone in this, as selfish as it may sound, she was glad to die in his arms.

"Ok, who's ready for desserts?" Juls asked as if there were more people in the room, breaking the heavy silence and startling Sam out of his own thoughts. But he smiled and actually raised his hand like he was in a classroom and said. "Me."

Julia broke into laughter that slowed her movements, so it took her a minute to get up and walk to the fridge. "Wanna guess what we're having?"

"Hm... I don't know... Pie?" Sam tried to joke, knowing well all they had was fruit and ice cream, and Julia couldn't cook, not if her life depended on it, but he was met with a deep frown that made him drop the smile and look at her a bit warily.

"Do not joke about pie. Never joke about pie!" Julia all but pointed the knife at him, the one she was currently putting away and then turned and reached into the fridge. She pulled out a large bowl and turned to Sam with a wide grin, the previous comment forgotten. "Surprise!" She shouted as she walked back over to the table.

Sam's face covered in a child like wonder and a wide smile appeared as he looked at the bowl. It was probably a mixture of peach and pineapple at the bottom, but it was covered in ice-cream, whip cream with a cherry on top and... "Are those chocolate chips? Where did you..."

"My mystery box. It not only contained a few cans of whip cream, but also a few bars of chocolate. You like what I did?" She said almost sheepishly, hoping he liked it, hoping it would bring forth more smiles. Who wouldn't want to see him smile all the time? The trace of those boyish dimples still present, and the way he would look down whenever he smiled as if he was shy. And add blushing to it, and she could just melt at the site of him. Speaking of blushing... "I do have one more bar left. I thought about melting it down and pouring it all over..." As she spoke, Julia reached and traced her fingers from Sam's knee, up his hip all the way to his chest but it was when she started going back down that Sam stopped her, grabbing her hand and interrupting her, blushing like crazy.

But he didn't push her away, instead he pulled her closer and set a deep passionate kiss on her lips and Julia felt weak at the knees, so much so that if she was standing instead of sitting at the table, she would have fall down. He pulled away, gazed into her eyes and said with a kind smirk on his face "Who's melting now?"

They joked and enjoyed the dessert that lifted their spirits only for a little while. After the breakfast, they geared up and went back out, trying to reach that building again to see if there is any canisters of fuel there, anything that could help them last longer. Maybe the other fuel tank had more juice? It was a wishful thinking and a complete waste of time, even if they didn't have anything better to do. It was late afternoon when they made it back, empty handed and filled with sorrow and misery.

That night when the lights went out and they found themselves in each other's arms once more, they made love again, this time taking things ever so slowly, taking their time and letting their hands and lips roam all over the other one's body as if they were trying to memorize it. As if this was their last day, last night on Earth.

Or their last night in forever. If they died, if they both died there, tonight, if they both died and went to Heaven, what would they find? Would Sam find Jess waiting for him? Would Julia find her Jake holding their baby, reaching out to her? Would they ever see each other? Ever again?

They did wake up that morning to the sound of the generator and the warmth of the room, and they smiled happily at each other, thankful for another day. They took turns to shower and met up in the kitchen and Sam couldn't help but reach out to Julia and pulling her close, never allowing his lips to part hers. It was as if he wanted them to stay like that forever.

The cold, harsh reality hit them like a tsunami when after breakfast, the lights went out and the rattling sound that came thought the vents suggested that the boiler went off too, leaving them in darkness and nothing else to do but get back in bed, wrap around each other tight and await for the cold to numb their senses and eventually take them over completely.

* * *

"You don't believe me, do you?" Sarah asked Dean after finally managing to drag him away from Julia's bike and to the radio. He gave her a serious look followed by a deep sigh.

"No, I believe you, it's just that..." Dean tried, but Sarah interrupted him, crossing her hands in front of her in a very angry manner. In fact her entire stance gave out the notion that she was becoming more and more agitated by the minute.

"You just don't believe it was him I heard." Dean didn't really have to say anything, she could sense exactly how he felt and what he thought about it. Dean sighed again, looking Sarah straight in the eyes, searching them, trying to figure out what to do. He wanted to find something on Julia's bike, anything that had special value to her, that can be used to track her. Finally, he broke his gaze and looked at the machine behind Sarah. Sure it did have a speaker system and everything necessary for it to be a radio station of it's own, but it never worked. Dean should know, billions of times he played with it's switches just to see if any opens a secret door or something.

"I believe you think you..." Dean started and got interrupted again.

"NO! Don't give me that crap, you believe _I believe_ I heard HIM. I know it was him. I know I never heard his voice before, but I felt it. It is him." Sarah said, anger and slight disappointment flaring out of her. Dean gave her a look filled with doubt and uncertainty, and it only made the rage flare up even more. Sarah huffed at him, turned around and stomped out of the room. She went back to her room, slammed the door and sat heavily on the bed, crossing her hands and huffing again.

Worst thing is, she understood his disbelief. He had a lead, a solid lead, a good chance to find them using a locating spell with some of Julia's belongings, and he wasn't ready to drop that for a slim chance that she heard Sam on the radio. Even if she did, what could he do? Waste his time trying to reestablish that radio connection. No, he was right, his way was better, had more chance of... He had more experience with this.

Sarah glanced at the stack of books on her night stand. She picked up a few that were about witchcraft and locating spells and she was reading them, but couldn't seem to find anything useful. Yet. Maybe she should try harder. Dean had this lead to follow, he knew what he was doing, and Sarah couldn't really help much. So why not focus on what she could do. Books. Reading. Research. That was what she was good at. She had to be in order to be able to go through and memorize all those medical books, even though she never wanted to be a doctor or a nurse.

Sarah got up and picked up the stack of books, turning to leave her room with a newfound determination on her face. She stomped back into the library where Dean was inspecting the contents of Julia's travel cases from the bike. He raised his eyes to her, but she ignored him as she walked back to a shelf and started putting the books away, picking up others and spreading them on a separate table opposite of Dean. She sat down, picked up a notebook and a pencil and started reading. Dean watched her with confusion, but said nothing, a thought briefly popped in his head of how similar she and Sam were. His brother would pout in the exact same manner when Dean or their father wouldn't listen to what he had to say regarding a certain hunt.

Whole day and most of the night, Dean spent using every object in Julia's case to try and located her, he burnt through twenty world maps, and they would all just flame up from the point where he lit them, all the way to the top. Sarah's was cold and quiet at first, focused on her reading, but the more time passed, the more worried glances she would throw in Dean's direction. It was clear he was getting frustrated and getting nowhere with his lead. It was when his last attempt failed and he hit a metal bowl he used for the spell across the library, that Sarah finally drop her reading, stood up and walked to him. She glanced around to see the mess he made, ash from the maps scattered all over the place, some herbs spread across the table and floor. She sighed and set a comforting hand on his shoulder and he whipped around to meet her eyes.

He did't have to say a thing, she felt it, and he knew it. She felt every spec of emotion that cruised under that mask of his, every worried and scared thought, every uncertainty and every feeling of uselessness and failure. She felt every drop of desperation that filled him, like the tears that were forming in his eyes, threatening to spill. Despite her confusion over the feelings she might have for him, she reached his other shoulder and pulled him in for a firm hug. He was stiff at first, but as if he was feeling the comforting warmth that seemed to radiate out of her, he relaxed and hugged her back, holding on to her tightly. They stayed like that a while, and would probably remain in the same position for a while if the dawn didn't break through the only high window in the bunker.

Dean pulled away and looked at her, and she gave him the warmest, most reassuring smile she could, and he smiled back.

"We will find them." Sarah stated like it was a fact and Dean huffed a smile, nodding. Every time he would loose hope there she was to assure him, to set that spark back on fire and give air to his wings. In just a few days she became his rock, his inspiration, his... He broke that train of thought, feeling undeserving to have someone like her by his side, but so happy she is there and that he isn't alone. If he was, he would break down into pieces and she wasn't letting him do that. She was the glue that held him together.

Dean glanced at the stack of books and papers she had on her table, wondering if maybe she found something. Maybe, once again, she could provide a clue, a lead for them to follow. Come to think about it, every lead he ever head regarding Sam's disappearance was provided by her. Starting from seeing Julia on that video.

"What have you been up to?" He asked walking over to the table and looking over her notes.

"Researching locating spells. Most of them you already tried, from what I can see." Sarah replied and Dean raised a brow. She figured out which spells he used? But when he looked over at the mess on the other table, he understood how she knew, considering the ingredients he used and the chants he spoke that she listened to. But...

"Most of them?" he asked with curiosity.

"Yeah, well... Some are bleak copies of the ones you already tried, others are practically impossible to... Cast? You cast the spell, right? Yeah, some require some insane ingredients. And some are just for finding missing keys and stuff." She replied and then seemed to have a thought. Reaching to pick up her notebook, she flipped a few pages and then added "There was one spell..." This got Dean's attention.

"It isn't like the other location spells, it is... It's more like... - it was clear Sarah was struggling a bit to explain - It doesn't really show you were someone is. Well, it does show you, but... Ugh...Um... It doesn't point the person out, it takes you to them. Like transports you, teleports you to them. Still, I could only find mentions of the spell, not the actual spell." She picked up an old book and waved it around. "This book mentions it a lot, and the author even claimed that such a spell only existed in something called the... - notebook pages flipping, until Sarah found what she was looking for and squinted her eyes at the smeared words - the... the black G... Grimm?"

Dean's eyes widened, some kind of tingles went through his entire system, shock written all over his face. Sarah looked at him confused and worried and it was her turn to go all wide-eyed when Dean snapped out of it, grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her before pulling back and running to a shelf and opening a secret compartment. Sarah watched him move, utter confusion written on her face. Her lips still trembled from his kiss when he came back to her and spoke with voice filled with excitement.

"You're a genius! The black Grimoire, we have it. And here... - pages flipping - here is the spell..." Dean said and took a moment to look at the ingredients necessary for the spell. "Yeah, it needs some heavy-duty stuff, but we are well equipped here." He couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that if it wasn't for Sarah he wouldn't even be here,but probably back in Miami, and he wouldn't even find this spell if she hasn't decided to look through the spells. "Alright, I'll... I'll go get the stuff we need and..."

"And I'll clear the table for you." Sarah added. Dean smiled sheepishly, it was he who made the mess, he should clean it up. "Don't worry, I will leave all the ingredients here, I'll just clean the ashes and things you won't need." Dean nodded, feeling so thankful for Sarah. He turned and practically ran out of the room and Sarah just had to smile at his enthusiasm.

When Dean came back into the library ten minutes later, the table was clean, the bowl and bottle of various herbs were sitting idly on the table, everything seemed to be set for him to add a few more items and cast the spell. Except Sarah was holding something and looking at it with a curious frown.

"Whatcha got?" Dean asked setting the book and a few vials on the table. The spell was relatively easy, but required a lot of herbs and had a lot of components. It would have helped if they had something that tied to a specific location they were at, like when they opened the rift to apocalypse world using 'something from there', but even without it, it had a good chance it would work as long as they used something with Sam's DNA.

"Die." Sarah said.

"What?" Dean asked completely baffled.

Sarah seemed to snap from her trance and she looked at Dean. "Die. D.Y.E. Look. This... This is a piece of the map you have burnt."

"You think it is the location?" Dean asked, wondering how he missed that piece of paper. He watched Sarah as she opened his laptop and brought forth Google Maps while replying to his question.

"I know it is. And before you ask, I know because Sam told me." She looked at him and saw he needed more then just 'Sam told me.' Sarah rolled her eyes and kept talking while searching for the location. "The radio... Aside from '_Can anyone hear me?' _Sam also mentioned three words. Number three, die and north. And now... Considering how the maps have burnt, the flames going upwards, north... There! - Sarah said pointing at the laptop - They are in North Pole, in a place called D.Y.E.3."

Dean was speechless. What could he even say? He dismissed the fact that she actually heard Sam on the radio, and no thanks to him, she still managed to find his brother. Not only that he didn't help, he even...

Dean flinched when he felt her hand on his, bringing him out of his thoughts and her warm smile bring calm to his guilt. "Let's go get them."

* * *

A rift opened in the most cramped toilet Dean has ever seen or been in. A person would only have a half an inch between an open door and the toilet when they would try to get out, and they would have to step over the toilet bowl in order to do that. "What idiot designed this? And how the fuck is it bolted on this side?" Dean questioned as he pulled the latch and just barely managed to open the door. Luckily, he brought a flashlight beside the gun and the angel blade, because as soon as he stepped out of the toilet, he was greeted by complete darkness, the only light aside from his flashlight was the rift. "Why they hell is it so cold in here?" Dean questioned. Realistically, he knew he was on the freaking North Pole and that was the reason it was so cold, but... If Sam is here... Dean batted the thought away. NO Sam is alive, he had to be. Sarah would sense something, right?

He hoped Sarah wouldn't follow. Just barely he managed to persuade her to stay behind, tell her it was just in case something goes wrong, but it was more that he had no idea what he was walking into. She was pissed, but she listened. He thought he was keeping her safe by making her stay behind, but since his decision making wasn't all that great lately, he hoped it wasn't the wrong call.

Opposite of the toilet there was a door labeled LAB. Dean peeked inside, scanned it and then went into the small office that connected to it. Stepping out of the office, he figured he was just around the corner from the toilet. To his right was another hallway with the door on one side and on the other it took another right turn. To his left were a hazmat door. Dean took a deep breath, played _eeny, meeny, miny, moe _and lastly decided to go left. Besides the bio-hazard doors just screamed at him that that's were Sam probably was.

Dean went past the exit door and just peeked into the Mess Hall. He rounded another corner and opened the door to his right, huffing at the fact that it was just a closet. The other door. It had to be it. Slowly, Dean reached for the know and opened it, holding his breath. The light from his flashlight roamed the room until it shone on the bed and on two figures sleeping soundly in it. At least Dean hoped they were sleeping.

Stepping into the room, he took in the scene and huffed a laugh "Grabbing the opportunity, huh, Sammy?" he teased, covering his fear and insecurity with humor. He reached and felt Sam's and Julia's pulse and breathed in relief. They were alive. Barely, but still alive. Taking a second to figure out what to do, he came to a decision. Considering they were both unconscious, Dean would have to carry them to the rift, one at the time. Getting to work, he pulled one blanket and wrapped it over Julia's form, careful not to look and carried her to the rift. He set her on the floor, making sure she was wrapped up nice an tight before going back to his brother. He couldn't just let her pass the rift and then go back for him, it would weaken the already collapsing portal. Dean hoped he would get Sam back in time so that they could all cross over. Together.

"Damn, Sammy. Even with all those salads and rabbit food you've been eating, you still weigh a ton." Dean said jokingly as he rounded a hand around his brother's ribs and lifted him up, making sure he was covered with another blanket as much as possible. Was it the motions or the sound of his brother's voice, but Sam sorta came to a bit, too tired, sleepy, weak and cold to properly come to.

"D'n?"

"Yeah, buddy, it's me. Who else would carry your sorry ass? Dude, you gotta help me out here... You're really heavy and we need to get to that lab..." Dean tried to get his brother to help him, to carry some of his own weight, but Sam seemed to want to go in the opposite direction. They staggered, almost falling down as Dean tried to keep them upright and moving forward.

"Ju... Juls..." Sam managed.

"Don't worry, I got your girlfriend too, she's waiting for us there... C'mon man. You don't want to keep such a sweet thing waiting, now do you?" Dean used humor again, it was his best line of defence in hard situations, but Sam seemed to be more cooperating now that he knew Dean already moved Julia. Not that he had any idea where they were going or how Dean got there, but it was Dean. He trusted Dean, he knew his brother would come for him.

Forcing himself to use his numb limbs, Sam helped Dean help him to wherever they needed to go. In his mind, he followed the layout of the path they were taking, mapping out that they went past the kitchen and the reinforced glass door and took a left turn. Squinting his eyes to try to see better in the dark, he spotted that the mystery doors were open and that inside was nothing but a very tight bathroom. But then he was falling, he felt his brother's grip loosen around him, and then he felt that smell of lavender and just knew Julia was there. But what really cut through him was when he heard his brother shout out his famous –

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled. He took too much time, too much time and the rift closed. What the hell was he going to do now? His hand shot up to run over his face as he looked at the empty bathroom. He turned to look at his brother's weakened form and saw Sam slowly reach and pull Julia closer. Dean sighed and deflated. He walked to them and sat beside them, reaching out to put his arms around Sam and ponder over what the hell he was doing anymore. Who was he kidding? Did he really think that he could just...

An explosion of light nearly blinded them, and while the tired Sam didn't really react much, unconscious Julia not at all, Dean sprung up to his feet in a heartbeat. The rift reappeared, stronger then ever, and a curious and wary face of Sarah carefully stepped through. Of course she did. Who else would come back for him, who else would...

"Dean!" She said with a wide smile, glad that her first spell casting worked. The blood still dripped from where she cut her hand, but it didn't matter. What mattered is that she did it. She found them, she found Dean, and together, they would bring Sam and Julia back.

Dean stared at her for a good few seconds. What did he do to deserve someone like her? What did he do to deserve someone that would literally go across the country just for a chance to help someone like him, all the while facing new and scary things? Not to mention the vampires... Like someone snapped their fingers in his face, Dean flinched and came back from his thoughts, immediately crossing the few steps to her and stopped just an inch away, slowing his movements. He looked into her eyes as if he was looking for disapproval, looking for rejection, but saw only anticipation. So he inched a bit closer, all the while gazing into her incredibly bright blue eyes and finally, set a kiss on her lips.

It was just as amazing as the first time back in the motel room, just as breathtaking and empowering at the same time, just like in his dream.

A few seconds she pulled back and he held his breath until she presented him with the warmest happiest smile he has ever seen, so warm and bright, it felt better then the first rays of sunshine after a long cold winter.

Speaking of...

"Let's get these two back home, huh? You get Sam, I got her." Sarah said and started to move around Dean to get to Julia, but then stopped, turned back to Dean and lifting herself up on her toes, she gave his lips another small peck, making him huff a smile in return.s


	29. I see your True Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna thank all you guys for such wonderful support on this weird little story of mine. This chapter will be a sort of an epilogue to this adventure, but there will be three bonus chapters after this, because a) I don't like to leave loose ends and b) it will be a set up for the sequel and their next adventure. I will post the bonus chapters in this story and then announce the name of the sequel which some of you already know. Thanks again to everyone who left kudos or a comment or will do so in the future. You are the fuel that keeps me going. Love ya all. ❤️

Sam slowly came to, not quite yet opening his eyes. Instead his arms tightened around Julia, pulling her close and making sure she was still warm and alive and by his side. The smell of lavender filled his nostrils and all that calmed him, soothed him, knowing she was here. Wherever here may be.

That thought bugged at his mind until he decided to scratch that itch, open his tired eyes and look around. He half expected them to be back in the research station with the generator miraculously working again, seeing as the room was warm. Room. His room. In the bunker. Huh.

OK, so they were in the bunker. Or did they die and went to Heaven and this is just... His new Heaven? Despite the fatigue he felt, the chill still embedded deep in his bones, he had to know for sure. He had to get up and see if they were really in the bunker. A stray through of Dean teasing him about Julia and salad made no sense in his still sleepy brain as he stumbled out of bed and grabbed the first clothing he could find, which were _his_ jeans and _his_ flannel shirt. He put them on and turned to look at Julia's sleeping form. She would be ok, he was just going to pop out for a minute to check things out.

Slowly and barefoot, Sam crept out of _his_ room and glanced down the hallway. Some faint strange sound was coming from afar, but other than that it was quiet, which didn't really help him much. Gradually he reached the War room finding that empty too. The sound became louder as if her was nearing the source and as he walked by, he glanced at the library only to find it completely empty as well, but strangely clean and in order. The books were all put away and the chairs were placed neatly under the tables. Huh. Could be Heaven.

He decided to follow the sound, because, like what else could he do? As he entered the opposite hallway, the sound slowly started morphing into music and not just any music... Dance music. OK, no way would Dean play this type of music or allow it to be played in the bunker. The scales are slowly tipping towards him being dead and in Heaven.

Reaching the kitchen, as the song became more clear, clear enough to identify as Whitney Houston's _How will I know_, but it was the sound of an extra vocal that surprised Sam.

"_There's a boy I know, he's the one I dream of  
Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above, mmm-hmm  
Oh, I lose control, can't seem to get enough, uh-huh  
When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love"_

A blond girl with a pony tail danced and sang the song as she stood by the stove, pots boiling, two ovens working and a smell of a home cooked meal flooding the room, making Sam's mouth water and his stomach growl in response. Was she an angel he has yet to meet?

Sam quietly entered the kitchen, keeping a watchful eye on the girl that didn't notice him yet. For some reason her voice was so mesmerizing, so heavenly and somehow... Familiar.

_"Ooh, how will I know (don't trust your feelings)_   
_How will I know_   
_How will I know (love can be deceiving)_   
_How will I know"_

The girl kept singing and swaying her hips and Sam was so confused. Who was she? What was she doing, cooking? Why? He inched closer and finding himself unable to speak up he reached to grab her shoulder. Suddenly a frying pan was flying at his face, but he managed to duck in time and quickly grab the hand that was swinging it. Startled piercing blue eyes met his and he heard the girl suck in a breath, staring at him in shock.

"Oh, my God, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to... I..." She spoke sounding sincere and Sam let go of her hand and backed away a few steps, eyeing her warily.

"Who are you?" He asked sounding serious, but not too intimidating. He did not expect a polite smile that seemed to weirdly light up the entire room.

"Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners. I am Sarah. Sarah Jones. I, um... I helped our brother find you." She replied never breaking the eye contact, but seeming to understand the gravity of the situation. He was a hunter and she was somebody he didn't know and Dean was...

"Where is Dean?" Sam asked not allowing her gentle nature to lull him.

Sensing his distress, she dropped the smile, made sure her hands were visible at all times and placed in a non threatening way as she answered "He... He went to get more beer. I... I am making lunch and I decided to make it a bit more... Well... I got a chicken in the oven. He said you would like chicken and mashed potatoes and salad. I... I'm just..."

Seeing that he was freaking the girl out, he broke the eye contact making her just a bit more at ease and took a deep breath. So, not Heaven? Maybe. He will know once Dean gets there. He glanced back at Sarah and sighed. She was clearly not a threat. If anything, she was a great cook considering how well the chicken smelled.

"Sorry, I was... I didn't mean to scare you, I just woke up and..." Sam tried huffing a nervous apologetic smile. Sarah smiled back at him, nodding in understanding.

"That's ok, I get it. You were kidnapped and now you're back and you find a stranger in your home... Um... Do you mind if I...?" She explained his feelings perfectly and then pointed a finger at the stove, asking if she could just check up on the meal she was making.

"Yeah, sure, of course... Sorry." Sam apologized once again and Sarah turned to check the oven, then the pot with booking water, steering something in another one and then finally checking the second oven and it was then that it occurred to Sam she was making a feast. He glanced at the first oven seen the chicken in it, all nice and tanned, but he couldn't see what was in the other. "So..." He started lifting his gaze up to Sarah again.

"How did you meet Dean?" He asked and Sarah choked on nothing but air. She turned to Sam and gave him a sheepish smile before answering.

"I hit him with a frying pan."

Sam couldn't stop the wave of laughter that overtook him, not just at the irony of the situation, and the fact that he had better reflexes then his brother, but the also at the image that formed in his head that his big, strong brother was incapacitated by a girl with a frying pan. And the worst part? That was typical Dean. The more he laughed, the redder Sarah's face got, but the feeling was so contagious she could help but huff a few laughs too, before finally breaking.

"I didn't meeeeaan toooooo... It's just that he came into my house and crept up behind me while I was cooking and, yeah, sure the music might have been on to loud, but I just..." The more defensive she got, the more she ranted and the more Sam laughed. Finally, he managed to breathe properly, he raised his hand and Sarah stopped talking, waiting for him to catch his breath.

"That... Sounds... Like... Him, alright." Sam said calming his laughter and still with a smile on his face asked "Why... Why was he in your house?" Confusion crossed his face when Sarah seemed to visibly shrink into herself, her eyes darting everywhere.

"Cuz he thought I could help." She said rather quietly.

"How could you help?" Sam asked curious and wondering why was she suddenly acting so strangely.

"Cuzmasichick..." Sarah muttered.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Sam asked with a slight frown. He could see he was trying to hide something, but it seemed like she was more embarrassed by it then anything else.

"Cuz I'm a psychic." She whispered and finally brought her fearful eyes up on Sam. He was a bit surprised that Dean would turn to a psychic, but for her benefit, he hid his stunned face behind amusement and acceptance.

"Oh,ok. Cool." was all he said and it was all it took for Sarah's lips to from a genuine smile. Nowhere did she feel as accepted as she did here, with Dean and his brother. Like being what she is was something perfectly normal. They didn't view her differently, they didn't consider her a freak. To them, she was just someone who helped and someone they were thankful to for all her help. Never did she think it could be like this. Even the people she helped in her life watched her with a dose of wariness and mistrust. Not Dean. Not Sam.

She never felt so good about herself as she did here and now, with them. It really meant a lot to her to be accepted like this. She could only hope it will last.

"He... He spotted me on a video that showed you two dispersing. I was there, but I didn't see anything." Sarah added and that made Sam connect the dots of how Dean found her and why go to her in the first place. But there was something else that he was curious about. The way Sarah sang that song, the way she moved around the kitchen and the fact that her face and her eyes would light up whenever Dean was mentioned...

"So are you and Dean..." He trailed off seeing Sarah blush like crazy just at the start of that sentence. Yup, there was definitely something there. And Sam couldn't be more glad about it. Glad and suspicious, because it was a strange coincidence that...

Suddenly, shouts and screams came from the war room and both Sarah and Sam shared a look before Sam ran out the door, followed by Sarah who got delayed as she had to turn off the stove.

"Get off of me! I'm not... Ugh... Mmmmghghg..." Dean's voice came, becoming more muffled and giving out chocking sounds.

"Got you now, you son of a bitch! Where is Sam?! What did you do to him?!" Came Julia's threatening shouts, the last question came out just as Sam stepped into the room. Sarah followed and audibly gasped at the sight. Julia was on top of Dean, who was on the ground, on his knees, and she had him in a choke hold. Dean was trying to loosen her grip, but was fighting a loosing battle, his face slowly turning purple. Julia raised her head, spotted Sam and smiled, but didn't release Dean.

"Um, Juls... Mind letting my brother breathe?" Sam asked amused. Julia was a bad-ass when she wanted to be, and even if Dean knew who she was and was taking it easier on her during their fight, it was still funny to see that a woman brought him to his knees like that. Julia dropped Dean without giving him a second glance and rushed towards Sam. Much to his surprise, she leaped into his arms and pressed her lips against his.

"Yeah, no need to apologize or thank us for saving you or anything like that..." Dean sassed with a coarse voice, getting up and rubbing his sore neck. Sarah was right there beside him, but not setting a hand on him, her eyes just questioning if he is alright. He nodded at her, showing off a smile to assure her he is going to be ok.

Julia broke away from Sam, and glanced at Dean. "I thought you were the one that kidnapped us in the first place. You tried to take my pie." She said, not really an apology.

"That was..." he started, but decided to drop the matter. "So I guess that you have no idea who took you or why." Dean asked and despite the words Sam spoke, he understood that knowing look in his brother's eyes as he glanced from him to Julia and then from Dean to Sarah.

"No idea. (But I do have suspicions). It was an abandoned Roman Industries research facility, but I think it was just a coincidence. We struggled with the generator, but other then that we were left alone. Everything was fully stocked, blankets, towels, soaps, food..."

"Ice-cream!" Sarah suddenly shouted and everyone looked at her confused, Sam a bit more, Julia even more considering she didn't know about Sarah. How did she know they had ice-creams in bulk there? But Sarah was already down the hall and back in the kitchen and after sharing a look the others followed only to find her putting away a bucket of ice-cream that was dripping with condensed water, the ice-cream inside probably half melted. Still, Dean couldn't help but remember a fat guy from a video eating an ice-cream. Strangely enough, he remembered seeing him again when he and Sarah found Julia's bike. He just shared a look with Sam, but said nothing. They would look into this later, now was not the time.

"Phew... I completely forgot I pulled it out to serve with the pie." Sarah said.

"Pie?! Who bought pie?!" Julia asked looking at the grocery bag Dean brought in, the same he dropped, luckily not from a great height. She remembered hearing bottles rattle, it was the beer Dean just pulled out of the bag, but... There was no pie.

"Nobody bought it. Sarah made it." Dean responded nudging his head towards the oven and Sarah that was standing next to it. "In fact, Sarah wanted to make a proper lunch too, so we went all out." Julia's eyes widened at the sight of the whole roasted chicken Sarah just then started pulling out of the oven and immediately her mouth started to water and her stomach started to growl as the smell hit her.

"Alright. We got soup, lemon - honey chicken, mashed potatoes and tomato souse and for dessert... Apple Pie with cinnamon." Sarah announced finally pulling out the perfect looking pie out of the second oven.

"You... Are my new favorite person." Julia said, her eyes never leaving the pie and everyone started laughing.

They ate telling each other what happened during the time the two were missing, laughing and happy they were together, safe and sound. Dean over enjoyed the dessert, completely in ecstasy over it. Julia was close with her hums of delight, but kept eyeing Sarah. During the wonderful lunch she made, it came up that Sarah was a psychic, and as much as Sam and Dean were completely fine with it, Julia was not so open-minded. She said nothing, just remained wary, trying to hide it behind a smile whenever Sarah would look her way.

Sarah felt it, of course she did. She could feel things like that even before she met Dean, even before her powers grew slightly the more she accepted them. She sure could feel it now, but she was ok with it. It was natural people feared what they didn't understand and Julia was a hunter on top of that. Mistrust was in her blood. It wasn't something Sarah would hold against her. She just hoped Julia would give her a chance to show she can be trusted.

Besides, there was some darkness pressing on her, she was burnt by something bad, Sarah could see it. But she could also see how Julia's soul would shine brighter every time she and Sam caught each other's eyes. Whatever was that hurt her, whatever darkness allures there, Sam will vanquish it.

After lunch Julia asked if she could borrow a phone and stepped aside to have a conversation. It took Sarah one glance between the guys to excuse herself and take a bunch of plates to the kitchen, knowing they would want a moment to themselves. The second she was out of the room, Dean spoke, still looking softly in the direction she disappeared to.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Definitely. But there shouldn't be any left, they were all..." Sam started, but Dean interrupted.

"Yeah, that's what we thought about vampires 15 years ago. That they were extinct."

Sam nodded, thinking about it for a moment before he responded. "You're right, it is the only way to explain everything." After both have agreed on the matter, there was a long quiet pause before the silence was broken again.

"So, what are we gonna do about it?" Dean asked, but Sam could read between the lines - _Are we gonna do something about it?_

"I think we can let this one slide. For now. " Sam replied after a moment, a smile forming on his face. Dean looked at him and smiled back. There was no need for words, both knew, both understood. They both found something neither knew they needed.

"So... Julia?" Dean asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah, she is... -Sam started but then huffed a laugh - she is a pie loving, monster hunting AC/DC fan."

"Huh. - Dean seemed amused - So she is basically..."

"Don't. Just don't." Sam said glaring at Dean that started laughing a bit, reading his brother, but soon calmed down. "Sarah's interesting." He added after his brother toned down his laughter.

"Sarah's amazing. She is smart and funny and loves to read and... She also has demon blood." Dean just casually slipped in, and when Sam did a double take, started staring at him with wide eyes, Dean kept talking. " Yeah. She was born on May 2nd 1983, and her parents died in a fire when she was 6 months old and she has... Powers." Dean finished with a sigh. He liked Sarah, really really liked her, and he knew she was a good person, he saw it, her actions proved it, but he couldn't help but worry. Worry about what this might mean for her.

"Dean... That's... That's impossible." Sam started and after his brother gave him a questioning look, he explained "All of... All of them. They are all dead. They either died earlier or in Cold Oak. Azazel confirmed it."

Dean visibly winced at the memory of Cold Oak and the death match that took Sam's life, but quickly shoved it aside, like he always did and tried to rationalize his opinion. "Well, maybe she was hidden, warded... Maybe someone hid her, or Azazel thought it didn't take. Or maybe he just missed her. Sam... There are too many coincidences."

Sam seemed to have given it some thought, thinking just how Azazel knew if 'his children' were alive or not, and something just didn't feel right. "What are her powers?" He finally asked, trying to relate those powers to demonic ones. He patiently listened to Dean talk about all the things she might or might not have done, because not even he was sure she was the one doing them and eventually came up to one sure thing. She could sense things. Like Missouri could. And the wardings bothered her. But aside from that, Dean had no idea if she was the one that saved them from that warehouse, or was he just dreaming about her at that beach. She seemed to have a soothing effect on him in general, he felt safe around her, not that he would say it like that to his brother.

To Sam, all the things Dean talked about, they seemed familiar, really familiar, but he couldn't know for sure. It would take someone with a lot of power to say for certain, or Sam would have to dig up some way they could tell if it was true or not.

"Hey, guys... Sam, can I talk to you?" Juls interrupted coming back into the room and Dean nodded, headed into the kitchen to help Sarah.

"Everything ok?" Sam asked seeing a change in Julia. She seemed like she shrunk to herself, uncertain and wavering about something.

"Yeah, everything's ok... I, um... I just spoke to my dad and... He wants me home asap. So I... I gotta go." Julia stated kinda sadly. She wished she had more time with Sam, more time to figure out, for them to figure out what "they" are. Sure, it was easy for Sam and for her to give in, back there, back where they thought there might be no tomorrow, but now that they are safe?

What if he doesn't want to stay with her? What if she is more trouble then she is worth?

"Do you have to leave now? We were pretty drained, maybe you should take a day to rest up and leave in the morning?" Sam offered.

"No, I... I have to go now. He is was pretty worried, and insisted I told him what happened and when... - and this is where her words wavered and her voice shook, so she just cut herself off - I gotta head out now."

Sam sighed, taking a second and finally said "ok."

"Ok?" Ok? Just like that, ok? Julia wasn't sure what to think.

"Yeah, ok. You gotta go now, we leave now." Sam simply replied.

"We?" Juls wasn't sure if she heard that right.

"We, yes. We. I'm not letting you go." Sam stated. That one line said it all. Pure joy washed over Julia and she smiled ever so brightly at Sam, who pulled her into a bear hug and pressed the softest kiss on her lips. "Never gonna let you go." He said and Julia huffed a laugh at the line used in one of the most catchy and most annoying songs she ever heard.

Back in the kitchen, Dean brought over more plates and muscled in to help Sarah wash the rest. She gave him a smile and he smiled back, glancing over at her every few seconds. And every few, she would huff a smile, noticing his glances, but not saying a thing. Last time she huffed a smile, Dean dipped his hand in the water in the sink and splashed her with it. She drew back, smiling and took a handful of water, throwing it at Dean. He made an appalled face and splashed her right back. Sarah screamed and then giggled, and soon the floor had more water then the sink.

Dean splashed her once more, Sarah turned away to that she doesn't get any water in her eyes, but when she turned back to him, he was much closer then before, his expression a lot more serious, his eyes with a different kind of a spark in them. He inched closer and Sarah sucked in a breath at how close his body was to her, at how close his lips were.

After that kiss back in the North Pole, they haven't really done anything to indicate how are things between them, they haven't talked about it. But he was there, right there now and she could practically feel his breath on her face, the warmth of it. His emerald greens stared into her eyes and she could see all the world in them, and the depths of his beautiful soul shining just a bit brightly. The colors that were keeping his soul contained, the blue, the red, the purple and the black, they all retreated, all backed down as his soul shone with the light of the summer rain. Not that she would ever tell Dean his soul was the color of the rainbow.

He raised his hands and brought them on her upper arms and thank god he did because she already felt too intoxicated from his proximity to be able to hold herself upright. One hand traveled over her shoulder to her neck and her jawline, his thumb caressing her cheek and she waited, waited with grand anticipation for him to finally cross that distance and for her to feel those lips on hers once again.

The world exploded when he finally leaned in and set such a powerful, emotion filled kiss on her lips. Sarah could read so many emotions from it. Anticipation, happiness, dared she say love? Fulfillment, joy and slight fear of rejection and of loss. So she kissed him back, mustering all the assurances and he felt it, he felt it all in his bones. When they finally broke away, both had the widest smiles caressing their faces, no more words were necessary. He was hers and she was his. And nothing, absolutely nothing would or could ever change that.

A few minutes later, Sam and Juls came in and informed them Julia had to go back to see her father and that Sam will go with her. Dean was reluctant, trying to convince them to stay and rest for a day, but ultimately had to give in. It was a bit more easier to be separated from Sam now that he knew he was alight and safe, and knew where he will be. And the fact that he won't be alone helped too. Sam promised they would look into Sarah's powers once he came back, which would hopefully be in three or four days.

Sam took a blue 69 Camaro z28 and waved Dean and Sarah as they sped off. Dean watched his brother take off, smiling, glad he has found someone to care for, someone great like Julia. Sure she was a bit rough around the edges, but he was sure once a person once you really get to know her. The best thing was that she was a hunter, someone with some experience and someone who understood this life. But most importantly someone who was more than capable of fending for herself, judging by her choke hold and how she took Dean down, not that he would ever admit he didn't let her do that.

Still sporting that smile on his face, he turned to look at Sarah who was a few steps behind him, he turned to her just in time to see her smiling at him, a hand reaching up to her neck and ripping her throat out. He saw the familiar face of Aisha as she grinned at him, blood covering her hand and her brother Billy in the back, running towards them. He stood frozen, looking at Aisha as she licked the blood of her hand as Sarah's knees gave up from under her and she fell, her hands coming to clasp her bleeding neck, only letting out gurgling choking sound, eyes filled with pure fear.

Dean didn't even see her hit the ground, when the darkness suddenly took over, and one minute he was standing in front of two vampires who were ready to attack, the next minute he was standing over their corpses, heads almost ripped apart. Billy's head was twisted unnaturally, if he was alive he would be able to see any enemy who would try to sneak up behind him. Aisha... She got the worst. The smile completely wiped off of her pale face, her eyes, white and blank, only slight residue of the surprise and pure primal fear, as her head hung half ripped from her body. Dean was standing above them, panting, something animalistic written over his face.

But the next second he was back, the choking whimpers coming from behind him snapping him back and he turned and ran to Sarah, the last few steps sliding to his knees as he reached her. He used one hand to lift her upper body to his lap, the other clasping over her neck in attempt to stop the blood from pouring out. A thousand NOs spilled from his lips, and slowly tears started pouring down his cheeks as he stared into her fearful eyes. She kept whimpering, giving out those choking sounds that ripped Dean's heart to shreds as he held her close.

"NO,no,no, no... Please, no... Please... O, Sarah, no... It's... NO, it's my fault, it... It should have been me... No, please, stay with me, stay with me..." Dean sobbed, putting the blame on himself for not taking care of those damn vampires, but left mid hunt. It was his fault, he brought Sarah into this, he didn't... He couldn't keep her safe. She didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve to... Oh, God, that look in er eyes, that fear and pain. "Please... Please, stay with me..."

Millions of thoughts and memories sped through Sarah's mind as she fought to take in a breath, but all she could focus was his marvelous greens loosing that spark as he watched her perish before his eyes. All she could feel is that darkness taking him over, and that little boy curling back into himself, scared and alone again. No, this couldn't end like this. No, this isn't how his story is supposed to go, he wasn't supposed to have hope and then have it ripped out of him again. Even as she drew her dying breath, all that was on her mind was him. She promised herself she would save that little boy from the forces that were circling him and she would be damned if she doesn't do just that.

Dean kept calling her name, begging her to stay, his heart on his sleeve, his soul in the palm of his hand, ready to be given to anyone who would be willing to take back the time and save Sarah,take back the time and stop him from ever entering her house. He would be willing to give his entire self to anyone who would be willing to save her right now. He closed his eyes and in his mind, he was about to pray to Cas and to Jack, knowing he would be breaking his own word, breaking his own deal, but for Sarah, he would do that and so much more.

Before he could even start the prayer, warm bright light blinded him and he felt some strange heat in his hand, the one that was clasping Sarah's neck. He heard her stop those awful, heart-wrenching choking sounds, but the light blinded him and he couldn't see, but he could feel it, and he could hear it, that slight tingle in the air, and he held his breath, waiting for it to pass. It was a familiar feeling, a familiar sound of healing and he held his breath, hoping it was what he thought he was.

As the light toned down, his eyes met the bright blues of Sarah's as she watched him, fearful and completely confused, her neck bloody, but with no wound. He huffed a smile and hugged her, holding onto her tight, utter relief washing over him and calming her as well, steadying their heart-beats and make them pound as one. He pulled away and leaned in, pressing his tear soaked lips on hers, screwing his eyes shut in painful relief. Only a second, he pulled away and stared into her eyes, tears still streaming down his face, fear still filling him and Sarah reached with her shaky hand, set it on his chest and clenched his shirt. She stared back into his eyes and then pulled him in, pulled him for a kiss that said - _no matter what, I am here to stay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. That was intense, right? Had fun writing that one. Wanted to leave a cliffhanger here, but I am a big softy for you guys and didn't want to do that to you. I didn't write THE END, because, even if it technically is an end, there is more to come. Now... How would you like to meet Sarah's father? Maybe Julia's after that? Sounds good? Let me know what you though of the chapter. Did I do good? Eager to hear any criticism, good or bad.


	30. Something happened on the way to heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Possible spoiler alert, a small mention of something from 15x13, Destiny's Child.
> 
> This chapter is titled by one of Phil Collins' songs and represents a sort of a sequel for another story I did that also bore Phil Collins' song title - Another day in Paradise. It would be good if you go and read that small one shot before reading this chapter. 😁
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20687672

Dean shut the door of Sarah's room, and walked to the War room, leaving her to rest. This was a really traumatising experience for anyone, especially if they are new to the supernatural world. But it kept bugging him, how new was she to his world? Or was she always in it, just never realizing it, never knowing about the things that were right there?

And that healing? The way she came back from the edge of death? At first Dean was so happy she was alive, it didn't really matter how it happened. But now, once things have calmed down, once he has calmed down, he couldn't help but wonder. Was it Jack? He didn't even start that prayer yet before it happened. Was it Cas? But shouldn't they be physically present and set a hand on her for this to work? That ruled out every angel, cherub, seraph, cupid, reaper, pretty much anything divine. Except it was a divine healing. Was Jack getting that good with his powers?

No, something was different, something Dean couldn't quite put his finger on. It was strange. The healing, the warmth of it, it seemed like it came from...

Dean's phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. He didn't recognize the number, and wagered whether to answer it or not. Could be a telemarketer. Or it could be a hunter in need of some help. Eventually, the curiosity got the best of him and he swiped the little green icon and brought his phone to his ear.

"Hello?" He said. A moment of complete silence passed before he tried again "Hello?!" Nothing. But someone was there, he could hear them breathe. "Listen pal, if you want to make crank calls..."

"Dean Winchester?" A voice finally spoke on the other side, reluctant and maybe slightly annoyed.

"Who's are you!?" Dean asked, slipping into his hunter mode, sounding highly intimidating. The voice on the other side sighed, as if the man couldn't believe he was doing this, calling Dean. Like it was the last thing he wanted to do.

" I am an angel and I require your assistance."

* * *

"Are these really necessary?" a tall good looking man asked, raising his now angel-cuffed wrists. He had a striking resemblance to his grandfather Henry, except he was older and taller, his hair darker, almost black, and his eyes hazel, like the leaves in autumn.

"Last time someone came to me, claiming to be the angel Ezekiel, I let him possess my brother and it lead to the fall of the angels, so yeah... They're necessary." Dean said, shoving the man forward, towards the entrance to the bunker. They met outside and as soon as Dean heard his name, suspicion rose up, especially considering that the angel Ezekiel died in the fall, according to Cas.

The angel frowned at him, looking a bit appalled and asked "Who would claim to be me?"

"Gadreel." Dean simply answered and the man huffed a half-hearted laugh, knowing exactly why Gadreel would do that. Dean didn't really wanted to bring him into the bunker considering Sarah was there, and she needed to rest, but he was given no choice. When Zeeke called (yes, Dean is calling him Zeeke), he was already at the bunker's footstep, and Dean really didn't want to take him into town and risk leaving Sarah alone.

"Makes sense he would do such a thing. But I can assure you, I am who I claim to be." Zeeke persisted.

"Yeah, well, last time I checked you died." Dean argued shoving the man down the long hallway, just past the outside door.

"I can explain that." The angel countered.

"Might as well start..." Dean said pushing the angel through the open door of the main entrance. Zeeke came up to the railing of the balcony above the war room and took in the room, a pleasing look on his face. The angel liked the old world war things, he picked it up from his vessel, and this bunker was a real treasure. But there were more important things to talk about now.

"I committed pseudocide." the angel responded coming down the stairs. Of course, Dean frowned at that, following close behind and motioning the angel to sit at the War table.

"You what?"

Zeeke sat facing the hallway to the kitchen and Dean sat opposite, glaring at the angel, wary and on alert. Zeeke huffed in annoyance, like any angel that considered themselves above humans would, and elaborated. "I, as you would say, faked my death."

"You what? Why?" Dean asked confused. Why would an angel abandon his heavenly family and do something like that. Dean has never heard of an angel who... No, wait. Scratch that.

Zeeke sighed in annoyance once more. He looked at Dean with distrust, uncertain of how much he should tell him. But the instructions were clear. If something was to happen, go to the Winchesters and lay it down in front of them. Blowing air very vocally, he brought his gaze to look at the hunter.

He was well aware of who Dean was and what he has done in the past two decades, some information relayed, some things he has seen with his own eyes. Some things he even felt, deep down in his diminished grace. And as much as he wanted to view the hunter as just another human, and the vessel of Michael, he knew there was so much more than that to what Dean Winchester was. And he knew he would help.

Answering Dean's question about why he faked his death, Zeeke also explained why he was there, seeking help. "To protect someone and keep her hidden. But I have lost her. And I need your help to find her." There was some grave seriousness in his voice, and was that worry?

"Listen pal, I got better things to do than to..." Dean started and trailed off, seemingly looking at Zeeke, then sighing, looking down at the ground and shaking his head. Of course something like this had to happen, it was the life of a Winchester. "Ok, listen. You tell me everything, and I mean everything about her and then, maybe I will help you find her."

Zeeke swallowed hard but nodded. Whether he liked this or not, he didn't have a choice, and even if he wasn't told to contact the Winchesters if she ever got taken or lost, he knew they would be the best choice to find her.

"Alright... - Ezekiel started, nodding and then took a deep breath - her name is Sarah Jones and she's my daughter."

Dean's expression remained unchanged, except for a raised eyebrow as he spoke only one word. "A nephilim?"

"No. - Ezekiel denied - not really. She was born human. I... I adopted her, but... In time I came to see her as a daughter, to... Care about her."

"And I suppose you didn't adopt her just from the kindness of your non-existing heart." There was a question there between the lines and Dean glared at angel, annoyed that the angel was staling. As if Ezekiel could sense it, he sighed deeply one more time before opening up completely.

"No. I was supposed to kill her... - Ezekiel closed his eyes heavily as he kept talking, taking a deep breath - Back when Azazel started creating his little abominations, his little demonic army, Raphael came to an idea of doing something similar. So he had a few of his trusted angels give newborn babies angel blood..."

"Angel blood?" Dean asked. It sounded ridiculous, outrages and... It would explain a lot.

"Yes, angel blood. It was his experiment, he called them his miracles. His angelic army. Needless to say, when Michael found out..." Zeeke started and Dean finished.

"Big bro was pissed. Ralph messed with his Daddy's creation and the perfect son couldn't allow that." Zeeke gave him a slightly confused look, he didn't quite understand how Dean managed to depict it so perfectly.

"Something like that. Michael decided they were just as abominable as Azazel's children, but he couldn't interfere in the matters of Hell. This, he could do something about." Ezekiel took a moment to search Dean's eyes. All things considering he was taking this too well. But if the rumors are true and the Winchesters really took down God Himself, then something like this was a walk in the park for them.

"He sent out a garrison, my garrison to kill the babies and burn any sign of their existence. I... I personally saw to it that every life was extinguished." Ezekiel said it with a healthy dose of regret, his face twisting in pain and guilt. But it was his burden to bear, his burden to keep, so he pushed it aside and settled back to a neutral if not a slightly worried expression. It worried him that taking lives of a few dozen innocent lives wasn't his greatest regret.

"The more lives I took, the more it troubled me. But orders had to be followed... Sarah... She was the last one. And as stood above her crib that night, the fire already engulfing the entire house, as I gazed into her happy little eyes and chubby baby cheeks... I broke. I lifted her into my arms and hugged her tightly and tried, I tried to get away, but the others... They tried to stop me..." Ezekiel trailed off, the memories flooded his mind and it was getting harder and harder for him to bear. To muscle through all those human emotions that were getting more and more intense as the angel remained detached from the Heaven and the Heavenly Host.

"And? How did you get out?" Dean finally asked. Ezekiel looked him in the eyes, he seemed to be wagering if he should share more.

"He... He told me never to tell anyone he was alive. Never to tell anyone he saved us, never to say anything about Sarah, to anyone. Just go back to Heaven like nothing happened and keep watch over the child. He said 'Not a word to anyone.'. But he also told me to come to you if anything should happen and he didn't answer the prayers..."

"Who did?" Dean pushed.

"You... You have to understand, Raphael wanted a very strong angelic army... But he was, he was too... High and mighty to use his own grace. So he... He found a human merchant, a man called Sergei who had abundance of archangel grace. Claimed it was... Gabriel's."

Dean actually hugged a laugh. "Of course it was." There was some irony here, he could feel it, he just couldn't finger on it. "So Gabriel saved you and he saved... Sarah and what? Told you to just keep her safe?"

"His instructions were... Vague at best. He seemed to be connected to the child and seemed to care about her, but he... He only came back once, around three years ago. He said some mayor event was going to take place and that if anything should happen, I am to contact the Winchesters. Preferably you. And then he was, just... Gone."

Silence lingered for a good few minutes as Dean let it all sink in and Ezekiel kept quiet, allowing the hunter to sort through all the information. Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore, the angel spoke. He explained how he always kept a watchful eye over her, but as she got older, it grew into care. He explained he was at times confident enough to leave for conferences, seeing as he was a doctor in this life. He explained how he came home from his last trip, only to find his house burnt down, and no Sarah in sight. He explained how he searched, how he learned she brought some poor sap to the hospital, but other than that, he could find much, not a single lead. The more he spoke, the more desperate he sounded.

"She is... She has powers, and I am... I am afraid that in the wrong hands... I am worried someone might use her, or... Or worse. I know... I know my kind has... Hasn't been very good to you and your brother and I am sorry for that, but you have to help me find her. Please."

Dean watched him and then turned his gaze somewhere beyond him, seemingly contemplating on what to do.

"Will you, please help me find her?" Ezekiel asked again and Dean brought his eyes back on the angel, frowning and after a second or so, replied.

"Depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Depends if she wants to be found."

Realization hit Ezekiel and he hung his head low, frowning and thinking. It never occurred to him that Sarah might have learned the truth somehow and that she is purposely staying away. He thought she might be hurt, that someone might have hurt her physically, but he never thought she could be hurt emotionally. And that it were his actions that hurt her. "I..."

"I... I wanted to tell her so many times, especially when she grew up and could handle it... But... I... I guess I became to attached. I... I wanted to shield her from this world..." Ezekiel sighed before continuing. "I should have known it would backfire. I should have known she would learn about it sooner or later, and... I should have been the one to tell her."

"Yes, you should have." A voice spoke from behind the angel and with wide eyes, Ezekiel swiftly turned to its source. There stood, leaning on a wall that extended into the hallway, Sarah watching him. There wasn't any hate in her eyes, no resentment, just sorrow.

"You're..." Ezekiel started, and Dean finished it in his mind ..._here._ Of course she would end up somewhere near a Winchester, it was inevitable. But Ezekiel finished differently, giving out a sigh of pure relief. "... Alright. You're safe. Oh, thank Lord " That alone showed Dean the angel did in fact care about Sarah and didn't just consider her a mission. So he did the only thing he could do. He reached and uncuffed Ezekiel's hands and then stood up. He glanced at Sarah and nodded, turning around and heading for the kitchen for a beer, giving them a chance to talk.

And giving himself a chance to think about what this might mean for Sarah, for the world... For them. He cared about her, he knew that much, he cared about her deeply, and he certainly wouldn't let something like this stand between them, but... How will Sarah cope with it? It was surely easier on her to know the truth, the origin of her powers, but now that she does know... Will she change?

Dean started pondering about what her powers actually were. She wasn't as powerful as an angel, not as they used to be, but with enough emotion to back her up, she could do a lot. Remembering that smiting in the warehouse, the way she incinerated everything around them, everything but them and healed most of Dean's injuries at the same time. It was her, he was sure of it now. Any other angel would have finished the healing, only someone who is new to this wouldn't be able to complete it. Not that Dean would ever hold that against her, ever. She saved them. She saved him.

Actually... That wasn't the only time she 'saved' him. That dream, the one on the beach... She saved him from drowning. Dean knew it seemed different, the dream felt different, it felt a bit more real, a bit more like whenever an angel invaded his dreams. She dreamwalked. Maybe she didn't know she did, maybe she thought it was just a dream, a regular dream, but she dreamwalked, he was sure... But then... That scene on the beach...

No, that was just her imagination, right?

But speaking of dreams and sleeping, it occurred to Dean that Sarah put him to sleep. Not once, but twice. The first time was when they left Miami, he remembered wanting to stay up and make sure Sarah was ok, that she could do it, and to keep her company. But she set her hand on his and told him to rest and it was so warm and so nice, so soothing and calming. How didn't he see it before? The second time was just when they got to the bunker. Dean wanted to try the location spell, but they decided to try and take the cast off first and... It happened again.

Dean was sure she didn't mean to do it, that it was an accident.

And on top of all that, she could heal. Not just heal a person, but heal herself too. She was so much stronger then Dean ever thought. So much stronger then him, and she didn't need him. He couldn't protect her, he didn't need to, she was more than capable of doing it herself. She was so much stronger than him. What the hell was she doing sticking around?

Dean grabbed a beer and slowly walked back to the War room, hoping he had given them enough time to talk things through. He wanted to give them space, but he didn't really want to leave them alone and risk Ezekiel taking her away. Not that he could if she didn't want to go. But what if she did? Dean peered into the room, unable to hide his worried expression, and heard a part of the conversation.

"... I understand. And I... I don't hate you. - Sarah said - I... appreciate what you did for me. I really do. But I think it is time I started making my own choices." Dean walked in just to see Ezekiel nod at her words, looking a bit relieved and a bit lost. He spent so much time making sure Sarah was alright, protecting her, and now? What is he now if he isn't her father anymore?

Sarah set a comforting hand on his and smiled softly at her father. He will always be her father, nothing can change that. But then, she seemed to have an idea, and she told Ezekiel she will be right back. She glanced at Dean and gave him a bright smile before she stood up and ran off to her room. Dean huffed a smile watching her go and then focused on the angel. "She really is something, isn't she?" Dean said with the kind of a goofy smile that spoke volumes of how he felt for her, and naturally Ezekiel picked up on it.

"She really is. I would threaten you not to break her heart, but I am just an angel. Many more powerful things tried to get in your way, and they all met their demise." Ezekiel said, and Dean looked at him at first completely baffled. Was that a joke? Did Zeeke just tried to make a joke? But even if it wasn't Dean started laughing at the angels antics, amused.

"I would never purposely hurt her in any way." He finally said. "I love her." Came out like a whisper, too quiet for anyone in the room to hear. Anyone human. But Zeeke was a celestial being. Still, the angel made no comment, not wishing to embarrass Dean. Dean was a bit lost in his own thoughts, realizing just then that he did in fact love Sarah.

Sarah came back into the room, her pony tail bouncing and sat next to Ezekiel. "Before the fire... I was in the house, went to find some clothes for Dean. And there, I fond this. This is... It is your angel blade, isn't it?" Sarah asked, presenting him with the blade she found hidden in his closet. She wasn't sure if it was in fact an angel blade back then, but she is now. She handed it to him, but he didn't really seemed to care much about it. It was more important to him back when he was a warrior of Heaven, back when he had a cause, when the orders mattered. But then something happened and he could see how pointless it all was.

Sarah smiled, seeing a nostalgic, but a detached look in his eyes as he played with the blade. She could see it belonged to the old Ezekiel, the angel of the Lord, and not DocZ, her dad, the guy who had given her so much. Maybe it was time she repaid the favor. "I,um... I also found this..." She reached into her pocket and puled out a small velvet box, making Ezekiel gasp loudly upon seeing it. She handed it to him and she spotted his lower lip shake as he took it out of her hand. He paused a moment, a pained expression saying just how much more this little item meant. Finally, he popped the lid open, and revealed a small beautiful ruby ring. Ezekiel took a deep shaky breath and just stared at it sadly.

"Tell me about her." Sarah said, some strange spark in her eyes and Ezekiel glanced at her, sad and uncertain what good would opening old wounds do. But just like Dean he knew when Sarah wanted something, when she was sure of something and when she had that tone in her voice, something important was happening. And just like Dean, he learned to listen to her instincts.

"She... She was an angel. A beautiful angel who everyone dismissed and looked down upon. She was... - he huffed a laugh - she was so confused about you humans and the things you did. But I could see, the more time she spent watching you, the more she grew to like you. The more she watched you, the more evident it became that... She wasn't like the rest, cold and calculated and logical, she never was. She always had that streak to her... " Ezekiel swallowed hard before continuing.

"When... When the angels fell, and I had to hide, I... I tried to see if she made it, as much as I could. I couldn't reveal myself to other angels, so I used other humans to try and... She is dead. She died in the fall." He finished sadly.

The insensitive part of Dean wanted to ask _Oh, like you died in the fall?_ But he bit his tongue and catching Sarah's encouraging look, he asked "What was her name?"

Ezekiel raised his sad eyes up to the hunter and quietly replied. "Anael."

Of course. Of course it had to be one of the few angels Dean knew, that were still alive and still on Earth. After that whole fiasco with the Ocultum, Anael disappeared for a while, but they ran into her again and... Well, there wasn't a point in holding a grudge, was there. Especially since Cas hoped to convince her to come up to Heaven and help maintain it, the place was still on shaky grounds. With a deep sigh, Dean motioned for them to follow him, and had to smile at Sarah's wide grin as he said "C'mon. I think you need to visit a faith healer."

"But my faith doesn't need healing." Ezekiel spoke confusingly, following Dean and Sarah to the garage. Whether he meant that his faith is no longer existing and therefor it would be impossible to heal it, whether he spoke of faith in his Father, or faith in general, it didn't matter. What he needed is healing, and he deserved to have his faith in love restored.

"Play some music, won't you?" Dean asked as he drove the car out of the garage and she grinned at him, borderline squealed. He smiled and shook his head, while Ezekiel watched them confused from the back seat. He watched Sarah reach out to turn on the radio and caught the ending of a song.

_ "...just another day for you and me... _

_...just another day for you and me in paradise..." _(Phil Collins)

And it instantly brought memories of when he first met her in Heaven and every time he would come to her work place to seek her out, just to spend a fraction of a moment with her. And if he got more than a moment, it would be the best day for him. And looking back and forth between Dean and Sarah, a thought dared to wonder in his mind, a silly little idea that they were taking him to see her. That she was alive and that she has been out there this hole time and if it was true... If he gave up looking for her too easily, he would never be able to forgive himself.

But then another song started and Dean knew Sarah really had a knack for stumbling onto songs that related to the situation.

_ "We had a life, we had a love _   
_ But you don't know what you've got 'til you lose it _   
_ Well that was then and this is now _   
_ And I want you back _   
_ How many times do I have to say I'm sorry, yes I'm sorry" _

And Then Ezekiel was sorry. Sorry for not trying harder, if he did, he would have found her and... and showed her. Showed her what it felt like to be cared for.

_ "How can something so good go so bad _   
_ How can something so right go so wrong _   
_ I don't know, I don't have all the answers _   
_ But I want you back _   
_ How many times can I say I'm sorry" _

Dared he hope, dared he dream? Dared his heart beat stronger, pound to the sound of the song? If it was true, if she was out there... He is going to do whatever it takes to make it up to her. Because he needed her.

_ "You know, you can run, and you can hide _   
_ But I'm not leaving 'less you come with me _   
_ We've had our problems but I'm on your side _   
_ You're all I need, please believe in me, oh yeah" _

She was his Heaven. She was his home.

_ "I only wanted someone to love _   
_ But something happened on the way to heaven _   
_ It got a hold of me and wouldn't let go _   
_ And I want you back _   
_ How many times do I have to say I'm sorry, yes, I'm sorry" _

They came up to a church and Dean shut down the engine. They stepped out of the car, Ezekiel's eyes focused on the church door. "This way." Dean pointed out to a big hall next to the church, the sign saying "Sister Jo - healer". He swallowed hard and each step he took mimicked the pounding of his vessel's heart; holding his breath, the sounds around him became muffled as the lyrics still echoed in his mind. "_I'm sorry..."_

Dean opened the door for Sarah and followed in after her, and Ezekiel's breath hitched as the doors closed behind him. There was a red-headed woman with her back turned to them, putting away some fliers and papers, huffing and puffing.

"Winchesters. I would recognize that bucket of yours a mile away. What do you want naaaaha..." Anael turned and trailed off mumbling seeing a very familiar face. Her stunning brown eyes widened, her mouth remaining opened as she stopped talking.

_Dear Lord, she is beautiful! _Ezekiel thought to himself, not referring to the vessel that was just as stunning as the angel within. As if they were mesmerized, they both took slow wary steps towards each other, focused solely on each other's eyes. Nobody even breathed as they came closer. Ezekiel brought his right hand up, never lifting his eyes of off her and she glanced back at his hand and then back to him with fearful eyes. Like any second he could just disappear and she would be left alone.

Still, she reached with her hand up to his, and for a moment they hovered right in front of the other. Ezekiel was the one to move forward, setting his palm on hers, intertwining their fingers. She gasped at the motion then huffed a smiling relief, joy flooding her expression.

Neither said a thing, they just moved closed and Ezekiel wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, his arms filled with promises to never let her go. After a moment he pulled away only slightly and she raised her head to him, and finally he set a kiss on her trembling lips.

Dean and Sarah witnessed it all, smiling. Dean didn't really expect a kiss, but he was glad he played a part in them finding each other. Still, he could conseal the shock on his face followed by loud laughter as Sarah whispered to him, giggling.

"You think she would freak if I called her mom?"


	31. Take these broken wings and learn to fly again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to EvenEth13 for helping out on picking the van, had so much fun imagining the serial killers that roam the streets. Check out his page, he has some awesome Lucifer stories.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenEth13

Sam took the I-35 South and then turned to I-49, headed fro New Orleans, Louisiana. Julia and he were headed there to see her father, for Sam to meet him and for him to see with his own two eyes that Julia is in fact, ok. Sam could understand the worry of a father, especially the one who really knows what lurks in the dark, but he couldn't help but feel like this was just a bit too drastic. Her father should have allowed Julia to rest up before taking a 15 hour trip to New Orleans. Still, Sam decided he would do most of the driving and let Julia sleep if she wanted to.

That was one of the reasons he wanted to take the car, not that his interest didn't spark when he saw her bike. Imagining her on it was... Arousing. But he had no idea how to drive a bike, and he was tall enough to look ridiculous on it, so he suggested they take the car, one driving, the other resting. He wouldn't tell Julia he would be doing most of the driving. It was strange how Julia first flipped over someone setting a hand on her bike (Jesus, could she be more Dean?), and seemed like she was going to loose it over the mere thought of leaving her bike behind. But she stopped before she could start a tantrum and then just... Agreed? Something was off there.

Something was generally off. They have been driving for a few hours now,and all the while, Julia was staring out the window, occasionally biting her lip or wrapping her arms around herself, not saying a word. The more time passed, the more worried Sam became. But he didn't know if she just wondered off, thinking about them and about what happened to them or was it something much more serious. There was one way he might know, but it wasn't bulletproof. Well, here goes nothing.

Sam reached and set his hand on the radio dial. He raised the volume and then changed the station to the cheesiest song he could find. He himself cringed at the sound that filled the car, the song so... Beyond proper words.

_ "Whatcha gonna do with all that junk _   
_ All that junk inside your trunk _

_ I'ma get get get get you drunk _   
_ Get you love drunk off my hump _   
_ My hump my hump my hump my hump my hump _   
_ My hump my hump my hump my lovely little lumps _

_Check it out " _(The Black Eyed Peas )

Sam glanced her way, but couldn't keep his focus on her, he had to watch the road. So he missed when she turned to him, her body rigid, every muscle in her body tense and only her head turning, like in a very scary horror movie. Her wide eyes stared at him in disbelief for a moment before she turned the rest of her body toward the interior of the car and shut the radio off. Sam glanced her way again, only to meet her _are-you-being-serious-with-this-music _look and he huffed a nervous laugh before clearing his throat.

"You seem distant since we left. Everything ok?" He finally asked and it was almost like he could feel her recoil at the question.

"Yeah, 'm fine." She replied and turned to the window again. Sam just knew it, he knew that posture, he knew that line, he knew that tone. He also knew not to push it, but to let her take her time, and tell him when she is ready. In the mean time...

"Ok, so you din't mind me listening to music, then?" He reached for the radio again and slowly upped the volume of the same song, making her snap her head to face him, displeased and pissy look in her eyes.

"You play that song and you'll loose that hand, got it?!" He said and watched him smile and huff a few laughs and she closed her eyes, a bit embarrassed. He was teasing her, of course he was. And she totally fell for it. Julia herself let out a laugh and shook her head, a small smile creeping up on her face. It was amazing how he could just make her mind slip onto something silly like this and instantly cheer her up. He was just... A dash of fresh air in her stale life. A much needed dash of fresh air that had her realizing something she hasn't before. She was suffocating. Suffocating in her life, in her father's constant need to keep her safe and by her side and... And she was ok with it. After Jake, she was ok with it, to hide in her father's shadow, in the safety his presence provided. But what when she didn't need him anymore?

How will he react to it all? Not just to the fact that she found somebody, but at who she has found... See knew she had to fell him, he had to know what to expect. A part of her wished he hadn't come, that she handled her father alone, but deep down she was glad Sam here. Like she knew he wouldn't let her father have the last say.

"My dad..." Julia started uncertain, biting down on her lower lip hard. "He could be... A little protective..." Sam knew that, of course he would be. He was a hunter just like his father, and he knew it also knew it might be a bit more amplified considering he didn't have a son, but a daughter. Still, he didn't interrupt, considering she was starting to open up about it.

"He might... not like you. And he might... I don't know. I am not sure how he will react, and I... I just thought you should know to expect... Everything." She said giving Sam a hopeful look, waiting for him to respond.

"It's ok, Juls. I figured it might be... Awkward and a bit of a... hard introduction. I am not kidding myself to think he would welcome me with open arms, he is a hunter..." Sam responded.

"He might welcome you with a shotgun, silver, salt and holy water." Julia inserted and Sam smiled at that. Been a long time since he took 'the tests'.

"And that's fine, I wouldn't have it any other way. He needs to make sure I am human and that he and most of all you are safe. I met a few of hunters, distrust is one of the basic traits." Sam said remembering Bobby and the first time they met Rufus. And that gave him an idea... "I was thinking..." he started and while still driving, he reach behind to the back seat and picked up his duffel. He set it between him and Julia and roamed through it with his free hand. After a minute or so, he finally pulled out a knife-holster with a big knife and gave it to Julia.

She looked at Sam confused and then down on the knife, slowly opening the holster and pulling it out. At first glance the knife appeared to be an ordinary hunting knife with a curved, serrated-edged blade and antler handle. But when Julia pulled it out completely, she could see some symbols edged on the blade itself. The symbols seemed familiar, but she couldn't place them. Finally, she looked back up at Sam and asked him what it was.

"A demon-killing knife. As far as I know it is the last of it's kind. You like it?" Sam simply explained.

"I do... But... It's like the angel blade, right? But looks way cooler." Julia responded looking over the symbols again.

"An angel blade can kill angels and demons. This can only kill demons. And Hellhounds." Sam added. "It isn't much of a weapon compared to the angel blade, but..."

"No, it is awesome. Such a cool thing to have. And looks way better then those angels blades, looking so... New age and fancy... Ugh." Julia said visibly shuddering in slight disgust at the idea of angel blades. Still, she owned one. Her father paid good money for it, and then a few years later stumbled upon one more while on a hunt, so now he had one of his own.

"You think your dad would like it?" Sam asked. He hoped it wouldn't look like he was trying to bribe him or worse, buy his daughter off or something. To Sam, it was a gesture of respect, to present something like this to an old hunter, knowing he would appreciate the craftsmanship of the knife.

"You serious?" Julia asked surprised. For someone to just give something like this... She knew her dad would love it, it was cool and interesting and had history, had some lore behind it. It didn't occur to her he might see some hidden intent behind it, so she just blabbed out "He would love it."

"Good." Sam said with a smile. This has every chance to turn into a disaster, but he hoped Julia's father would see how much he cared about her daughter and that he could keep her safe. He hoped that, despite what Mr. Anderson might have heard about him and the Winchesters in general, he would still give him the benefit of a doubt.

* * *

The meeting itself went almost as expected. The man, not so tall, but strict looking welcomed his daughter in a warm embrace, his eyes sparking up the moment he set them on her. He had short hair of salt/pepper color and light hazel eyes that watched Sam like a hawk. The man had something powerful oozing out of his stance, some confidence and trust yet to be earned. But if he ever gave you trust and you break it, you are dead to him. Yeah, Sam couldn't help but be reminded of a character from a crime show called NCIS, agent Gibbs. Except his guy had a permanent frown, shorter hair and a definite New Orleans vibe to him.

The man hugged his daughter and just threw him a slightly angry glance before he turned and walked in the house without a greeting of any kind. Julia quietly motioned for Sam to follow her as she too stepped inside. Sam took a deep breath, clenching the gift wrapped in a leather cloth and entered their home.

The place smelled like the sea, and had this nice, cozy feel to it, and as Sam looked around with a mild smile, his eyes fell upon certain things only a hunter would notice. Like how the exits were open, for an easy getaway. How there were some charms strategically placed around and Sam was willing to bet that there was a devil trap under each rug. Weapons were hung around the place, seeming as part of the decor, but Sam knew if he was to pick up that machete by the door that lead to the yard, it would be sharp and ready to be used on a vampire's head.

"Um, dad... This is Sam. Sam, this is my father, Albert Anderson." Julia tried, frowning at the formality of the introduction. Sam didn't miss that she 'forgot' to say his last name and hoped she did tell her father, otherwise this is going to go real bad real soon.

"Pleasure to meet you, sir." Sam smiled and extended his hand to the man, but he just glanced down at it, and then brought his eyes back on Sam, ignoring the hand. Sam retreated his hand and wondered if he should say anything else. '_What a nice home you have.'_ \- sounded too awkward, and completely irrelevant to the situation. But then he caught the man's gaze as it slipped to the table by Sam's side, and he couldn't help the smile that flashed upon his face. True to the man, there stood a bowl of water, a silver dollar (he wouldn't give a weapon to a stranger, would he?) and a container of salt.

Immediately, Sam picked up the salt, poured a bit in his hand and licked it, with clear disgust. He rinsed it with the water from the bowl, a bit stale and filled with iron, but it was better then the salt on his tongue. Lastly, he picked the silver dollar, lifted it up for Mr. Anderson to see and put it back down on the table. Julia's dad nodded, only slightly pleased and then motioned for him and Julia to take a seat at the bar stools by the bar/counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. He took a spot on the opposite side, and would probably look intimidating if Sam was shorter.

"Thank you." Mr. Anderson finally said, and it was like it physically hurt to say it. "For bringing my Julia back..." He added, his expression still wary, his eyes still filled with mistrust. For a moment Sam thought he was going to tell him '_thanks-you're dismissed now.' _Instead, the man asked "What do you want in return?"

"Wh...What?" Sam asked in total bewilderment. Out of all the things he expected, this was not even on the list. Did her father think he would demand something in return? "No, I..." Sam tried, but Mr. Anderson cut him off.

"Cuz you certainly can't have my daughter." He said in such a dismissive tone, and then turned around and went to the fridge.

"Dad!" Julia countered, but he just gave her a look, the kind Sam was familiar with, the kind John would give him anytime he tried to contradict him, especially in company. Still, she held her ground staring back at him and said through clenched teeth. "You can't make that decision for me... Sam..."

"Is a hunter. Is a Winchester. Is trouble. If I ever considered letting you be with someone, it would certainly not be with him." Mr. Anderson said taking a sip of his beer, seeming a bit more relaxed now that he made his disapproval clear.

"Let me? LET ME? You..." Julia started, but flinched when Sam grabbed her hand to stop her from saying something she might regret.

"Mr. Anderson. I care about your daughter... A lot. And I understand. She went missing for almost two weeks and now she comes back with... me, and I get it. So, how about I give you two some time to talk and to think things through, and just... Catch up. I'll go find a motel and grab a bite to eat, and then I will come back later, ok? We can talk about it then." Sam said and he could see the slight surprise that flashed upon Mr. Anderson's face, even though he tried to hide it. Julia smiled at him, thankful he was this calm and this thoughtful of her relationship with her father. He was right, she needed to speak to him without Sam there, knowing he would feel a lot more open to talk.

Sam stood up with a smile, nodded at her father knowing the man wouldn't shake his hand yet; set a small soft kiss on Julia's cheek, turned and left the house. He wanted to let them talk and get that normal feel to that relationship. Sam coming in right after she was taken must have made her father feel like he was loosing her completely. Taking some time to themselves would to them both some good. Then he would come back and try and show her father that no matter what, he cares about Julia and that he will protect her with all he can.

He looked down into his hand that was still holding the knife. The timing wasn't right to gift it, but he still knew the man would appreciate it. Sam didn't really need the damn thing, they had an abundance of angel blades, and letting go of a this particular piece also had a deeper meaning for Sam. Maybe finally, he can let go of all of the things that haunted him, his past and the mistakes he made. Maybe finally he can let go and be happy.

* * *

Coming back a couple of hours later, Sam knocked on the door. He waited for a while, but when there was no answer he knocked again. They couldn't have left, right? He knocked the third time and thought he heard a noise from within. Some strange feeling washed over him and he reached and turned the knob, carefully and quietly opening the door. Immediately the smell that welcomed him told him Julia and her father were most definitely in trouble.

Slowly he snuck inside and listened, trying to hear and see how many of them there were. He needed to assess the situation before coming up with a plan. Sam flinched when he heard a clanking sound followed by the bowl sliding into his view. The bowl with the holy water.

"Exorcisms don't work on me, old man. Not when we brand the meatsuit." a voice spoke, his tone condescending. He must have been pissed if they threw that holy water at him.

"You branded Brandon? Why?" Mr. Anderson's stern voice laced with slight fear spoke. Of course, Sam had no idea who Brandon was, but needed to know more if he was going to help them. He tried to take a glance around the corner, but couldn't see much. He thought about signalling Julia or Mr. Anderson somehow, telling them to keep stalling, but he couldn't risk being seen by the demon or demons.

"Don't worry, it's not like he felt it. Not next to all those broken bones and internal bleeding he got from trying to fight me only to end up getting hit by a garbage truck. I gotta say, having a meatsuit without an occupant in it... Makes things so much more easier, I had no idea." The demon – Brandon spoke and gave Sam one vital piece of information. Brandon was past saving and considering the hunter still had the knife he meant to give away.

"What do you want? – he could hear Julia's shaky voice speak up – Haven't you taken enough from me?" In an instant, Sam realized just who this demon was and rage consumed him. He took a few quiet deep breaths trying to calm himself and then he backed away and exited the house, quietly closing the door on his way out.

A few more deep breaths and Sam put on a wide polite smile, slipping on the mask of a carefree civilian, slipping the knife in the back of his jeans. He raised his hand, knocked on the door once again, loudly this time, but didn't wait for an answer, instead he barged in.

"Hey, Juls... I came back... – He yelled throughout the house with a cheery voice – the bakery didn't have any more of that apple pie you liked, sorry... Oh... I didn't know we had company." He said coming into the kitchen, smiling widely and completely ignoring the distressed look on Julia's and her father's face. He had a gut feeling the demon was alone and luck served him well this time.

"Yes! – the demon returned the smile – I am Jake, Julia's old love. You must be the new boyfriend, huh? My, my, Julia, you sure know how to pick 'em." The demons words were laced with venom that Sam seemed oblivious to. The demon eyed him head to toe, smirking to himself and watched Sam come over to Julia, wrapping a hand over her shoulder, and squeezing her to his side.

"She is just the best, right?" Sam said with that goofy smile, obviously playing something, because Julia knew, she knew he knew about Jake and the demon and God! couldn't he smell those rotten eggs? Sam must have a plan of sorts, she thought, so she just played along and smiled meekly, looking so miserable. She could hear Sam mutter some words in Latin, but couldn't decipher what he was saying. "We were just going to make some dinner, would you like to stay for the meal? We would love to have you..." Sam added.

"Oh, I think I have my eyes set on my meal already." The demon retorted. Sam huffed a laugh and if this was real, Julia was willing to bet he would have blushed.

"That's...Um, that's nice, but I'm sorry dude, I don't swing that way." Sam said and then mutter more words in Latin, to quiet for the demon to hear.

"A real funny guy... – the demon said as he took a few steps towards Sam – Where do you come up with these guys, Juls? Just like the last one, too sweet, too nice, too... Ignorant... Why you never teach them a thing, is beyond me..."

"..._aciobaid atces te oitagergnoc sinmo, oigel sinmo, iirasrevda silanrefni oisrucni sinmo, satsetop acinatas sinmo..._" *Sam muttered and this time the demon heard, but didn't know what it was. So he stepped closer and tried to listen in.

_" ...sutirips sudnummi sinmo, et sumazicroxe."_ *Sam said and finished. A small smirk appeared on his face as the demon coughed a bit, his throat tightening and his chest aching, feeling like something was tugging at his damned soul.

"Oh, so you did teach them something, huh?" The demon said panting a bit, a victorious smirk on his face. "But you can't get rid of me that easily. Exorcisms don't work on me, kid." He added, his eyes flashing black. He took another threatening step closer, a bit confused as to why Sam would keep on smiling.

The demon must not have been a high ranking one, otherwise he would have the power to fling Sam in a wall, but he was strong. Sam let himself take a punch to the face and then one to the gut as Julia screamed beside him, calling out his name. Sam clenched and doubled down on one knee with a grunt and then... Started laughing.

Demon frowned, confused as he looked down upon Sam. He must have done something, but what? The demon couldn't tell, he didn't feel any different. Was this maybe a distraction? The demon glance at the others who were confused, but a little less scared and that was troubling. He focused to the man on the ground and watched him slowly get up and raise his eyes to meet his. The demon would be twice damned if he didn't expect to see something in his eyes to indicate the man was a much bigger threat then he anticipated.

"I wasn't trying to send you away. - Sam said staring into the demon's eyes - I was making stay put."

The demon's expression turned into one of complete bafflement, not understanding what Sam was trying to say at first, but then he tried to 'smoke' out and found that he was... Unable to do so. So much for possessing another one of Julia's boyfriends. And sure, this was a bit... Troubling. But it isn't like the guy really hurt him with this. So then? Why do it at all?

"Why would you want me to stay where I am? Did you get hit in the head or something? You do know I am a demon, right, you know what we do?"

Sam huffed a laugh to that. "Of course I know what you demons do. You lie. You cheat. You make deals for people's soul... - and slowly his tone turned just a bit more darker - you hurt, you torture, you kill. You possess people and make them watch as you torment their loved ones. You take and you take, and... You are vile, disgusting things, no better than the filth you rose from. Especially souls like yours."

"Oh, a fan, huh? What's your name, kid? I gotta tell them what name to put on YOUR TOMBSTONE!" The demon spat out, glaring at the tall man. Still, he didn't not move, he didn't dare to attack just yet. The man oozed with some strange confidence that sent chills down the demon's spine. He even flinched when the man took a step forward, and every fibber of the demon's being screamed _Run! Run! Run!_

"My name is Sam. Sam Winchester."

Albert Anderson did not know demons can turn pale. Or be terrified.

The demon tried to back away, he tried to turn and head for the door, but Sam was faster, grabbing him and twisting his arm with one hand while pulling out his knife and bringing it to the demon's throat with his other. Sam leaned in and whispered into his ear, quiet enough to draw shivers from the demon, loud enough for the others to hear.

"I would love nothing more than to show you what real torment looks like... Not the one on the rack, not the things you saw in Hell, no. I would love nothing more than to show you what it feels like to hurt, to suffer, to cry out... From your own actions. Tell me, demon, do you remember what it was like to... Feel?"

Julia thought the demon is going to piss himself.

"I would love nothing more than to heal you - Sam continued - to cure your damned soul and let you feel again. Believe me, for a demon, there is no worse thing... But it isn't up to me." Sam raised his eyes to look at Juls and nodded.

Carefully, she came closer and took the knife out of Sam's hand, still keeping it .the demon's throat as she contemplated her options. Finally, the demon that took her Jake and her baby was right here, captured and she... She could do anything she wanted. She could and hit him and he wouldn't dare move. She could slash open his stomach and let his guts fall out. She could slit his throat and watch him gag and choke on his own blood. He wouldn't die, but he wouldn't be able to run away either. She could make him feel every single thing she felt all those years ago.

She looked at Sam and their eyes met. The darkness from his eyes disappeared and was replaced by concern and support. He would do whatever she asked if him, wouldn't he? If this wasn't a demon, if it were just a lowlife human, it would have made no difference to Sam. He would do it for he, wouldn't he?

And just like that, that's all that mattered. The feelings he had for her, and her feelings for him. Torturing this demon wouldn't bring Jake and the baby back, slicing him open wouldn't help her heal. Actually, Sam has been doing that ever since they met. Every moment spent with him, every memory he shared, every piece of his past spoke volumes of how many blows he and his brother took and he understood. He understood the need for vengeance and to make the bad guy pay for what he did.

But he also knew what her choice would be. He knew in the end she would just want it to be over, so that she could finally breath freely knowing he is gone for good, never going to come back. Then she could just close that chapter of her life and allow herself to move on.

Sam gave her the warmest, most reassuring smile she has ever seen and it made her feel all gooey and nice and she pulled that demon killing knife away from the demon's throat, making him give a sigh of relief. But then she swung it and plunged it into his chest with such force, Sam staggered. The demon's entire body flashed with a slight red color as he drew in air that was no longer of any use to his punctured lungs and then finally sagged into Sam's arms. Sam let the dead weight hit the floor, a part of him wishing he could have taken his time with the demon, but he knew this was best for Julia. And in the end, that's all that mattered.

If he was being honest, the whole thing was a bit dramatic for his liking, and Sam feared how her father will react to the things he just witnessed.

Albert Anderson was speechless.

He has seen his daughter in action, he has seen her shoot silver bullets into werewolves hearts, he has seen her vampires heads. He had seen her burn a freshly dug up body and he has seen her impersonate an FBI agent beautifully. But this... This was something deep, something meaningful to both him and her. And when she plunged that knife, when Albert figured out it was actually killing the demon... The relief alone was overwhelming.

But then Sam dropped the body and she watched it happen and then raised her eyes to him and smiled and came up to him and kissed him and Albert swallowed hard. She wasn't his little girl anymore, she hasn't been for a long long time. After Jake, he became even more protective of his Julia, and when the moment came, he wasn't able to protect her, to keep her safe. If it wasn't for Sam... Albert didn't even want to think what might have happened.

Sam Winchester was bad news. Sam Winchester was trouble. For the demons at least, if not for all other things. And maybe, him playing in the big leagues could get Julia hurt. But it could also teach her a few things Albert never could. Like he didn't teach her about demons before one came a knocking.

Maybe it was time he let her go.

So after picking up the phone and calling his friend at the crematorium, he motioned for Julia and Sam to help him stuff the body in some oversized garbage bad. He brought his white Nissan NV200 van that said "Al's flower shop" with big cheesy letters and flowers all around, opened the back door and with Sam's help, he threw the body inside.

"Didn't know you owned a flower shop." Sam said with a smile after they placed the body in the van, to be transported later that evening.

"It's a cover." Albert said with a frown, his voice not softening, not even a bit. Sam just an awkward smile and followed the man back inside the house. He could hear the man let out a sigh when he came face to face with Julia again and he just stared at her for a moment before announcing that dinner will be in half an hour and that they should wash up.

The dinner passed in complete silence aside from the clattering of the plates and cutlery and once everyone finished, Mr. Anderson took a deep breath, hands in front of himself and spoke, turning his attention to his daughter. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Julia just raised her eyes to him and with a serious expression nodded. They have apparently talked things over in Sam's absence. "Alright. I suppose I don't have to tell you to take care of her..." Mr. Anderson said looking over at Sam. The expression on his face alone said it all, and for a moment Sam thought he was being welcomed into 'the circle of trust'. The man had some serious Jack Byrns aura around him.

"Of course." Sam said and looked over at Julia. She was smiling at him, and for a brief moment, Sam thought that he might actually have that normal life he has always dreamed off. Maybe he won't be a lawyer, but an undercover florist and a hunter, and he might not have that nice house with the white picket fence, but an underground bunker. And Sam realized, with Juls there... It would be just as perfect.

While waiting for Julia to pack her bags, Sam and Julia's dad spoke, Sam explaining to him about the bunker and where they were going, inviting the man to come with them. Strangely, Mr. Anderson declined, saying... he trusted Sam? But Sam had no time to ponder over it as Julia chose that moment to reappear with her suitcase and they all walked out to Sam's car.

Julia hugged her father and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, and he smiled at her. In fact this was the first time Sam had seen the man smile. Naturally, when he turned to Sam, the smile quickly vanished.

"I will be seeing you around, Sam." Albert warned. Sam expected nothing less, of course the man would keep tabs on them and make sure his daughter was safe and sound. Still, the man extended his hand to him and Sam smiled just a bit. Shaking his hand, Sam nodded, saying his goodbyes and giving Albert the demon killing knife, which Albert reluctantly accepted.

They sat in the car and drove off. Sam listened to Julia speak of her father with some newfound enthusiasm and he reached and took her hand in his. A quick kiss left them both smiling and Sam settled back in his seat and focused on driving them back home. Home... Maybe it was time he redecorated that room of his.

Or just let Julia set it up as she liked it.

Sam didn't drop the smile, not even when he noticed a dark blue Toyota following them. He has seen the car in Albert's back yard and he knew it was her father, making sure they were headed where they said they were. And that was ok. Sam wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica." the first part of the original exorcism, Sam recited backwards.


	32. The way you make me feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys know the saying "save the best for last"? Well, this is the last chapter, so... Enjoy!
> 
> `````````
> 
> Warning: Not suitable for persons under the age of 18. 😏

Dean and Sarah left Ezekiel and Anael with promises they will visit, and to call if they needed anything. Dean wasn't thrilled about Anael, but seeing that look in her eyes, that gratitude and that regret for ever thinking of crossing them over was good enough to make Dean let the past stay in the past.

When they sat in the car to go back to the bunker, Dean pondered over what he was going to do, this blood thing was a new territory for him and while he knew what angels could do, and could have done before they fell, some things were different about Sarah. Still Dean found himself not worrying too much about it. In fact, he was more relieved to learn she didn't have demon blood.

He knew his feelings about it were... Hypocritical, but he couldn't help it. He knew angels weren't what they thought, and that they weren't always the good guys, but there were exceptions to that. Like Cas. Like Gabriel.

Speaking of the trickster, he could almost see a few similarities between him and Sarah. She does love candy. And she has that teasing note to her sometimes, something Dean loves about her. But he does have to wonder if her powers and their extent. With a little practice, she could put someone to sleep and dreamwalk. She could definitely heal and smite, a few things the angels nowadays have trouble doing. Can she teleport, fly? There was one other thing Dean noticed, but he had no idea how that relates to her having angelic blood in her system.

There was a theory he wanted to test.

"Why don't you put on some music ?" He asked, 'allowing' Sarah to choose the station. If Sam was here, Dean would never hear the end of it. He could already imagine it in his head, Sam asking "_Whatever happened to 'driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole'?"_

Of course, she would play one of those stations with music that was just a bit too cheery for Dean's taste, but he was curious. She left it on some hair dye commercial and after, the song started. Dean frowned. What is this, the Adam's family? Cuz the beginning of the song surely sounded like it.

But then he heard that familiar "whoo" and he knew it was another of Sarah's favourites - Michael Jackson. Just another Michael to haunt him. However, as hip as Michael Jackson was, Dean couldn't help his slight astonishment. On top of everything, Sarah was an empath, meaning she could pick up on other people's feelings, but how the heck could she so easily find a song that so well for what the people around her felt?

Yes, Dean knew he was head over heals for her, he didn't need a song to tell him that. But somehow, hearing it like that, made everything just a bit more sweeter.

_"I never felt so in love before_   
_Promise baby, you'll love me forevermore_   
_I swear I'm keepin' you satisfied_   
_'Cause you're the one for me..."_

Yeah, Sarah was the one for him. Strong and bold, smart and funny, and Oh, My, God!, the pies she makes. And on top of it all, she was his own personal guardian angel. She saved him so many times and helped him find his brother and... She was just there. Not allowing him to fall apart,to feel bad and alone.

_"The way you make me feel_   
_You really turn me on_   
_You knock me off of my feet_   
_Now baby_   
_My lonely days are gone"_

Dean choked on thin air. Yes, it was true, she knocked him off his feet, and he doesn't feel as lonely as he did, but... Dean coughed and then blushed. There was a physical attraction there present, he couldn't deny it. But he also couldn't just... Act upon it. He didn't know how.

Of course he knew how! He was Dean Winchester after all. But she... She wasn't just some chick at the bar, she was someone he cared about. Profusely. He couldn't just use a sleezy pick-up line and relay on his charms to do the rest. She was far too important to him to do that.

Dean glanced her way, only now noticing she was a bit quiet. Usually she would have at least hum to a song like this.

"Sarah? You ok?" He asked just as they entered Lebanon.

"Yeah." She responded and after a pause she continued with something seemingly unrelated. "Dean? Did you know angels can just... Touch your forehead and... Do something to your mind?"

Dean frowned at this question, wondering what would set her to ask it. Did Ezekiel do something to her? Did he try and make her forget? He certainly didn't have the juice to teleport her out of there so that was out of the question. "Yes?" He said in a form of a question, urging her to keep going.

"Dad... Ezekiel told me that back when he was at full power he could make someone forget or transfer memories, like download them. He also told me he could put someone to sleep." Sarah said biting her lower lip. When Dean just nodded, Sarah frowned and finally said, a guilty sad look on her face. "Did I... I did that to you, didn't I? Back at the hotel? I..." It was obvious she was feeling sorry about it, worried what Dean might say. Dean had to cut her off.

"Hey, hey... It's ok. I know... I know you didn't mean to. It's ok. You... You also saved me, saved us a few times, so I couldn't hold anything against you." Yeah, she is useful. Like that is what she wants to hear. _Damn it, Dean!_ He tried to picture what he would say to Sam if it was him in this situation, but it was Sam once, and Dean didn't handle that well at all. Maybe he could do better this time around.

"Look. - He said in a soft voice - You had these powers all your life, right? Only now you know where they come from, and... It should make things easier. I... We will be here to help, every step of the way and you'll learn to control them and to focus, and sure, you might make some mistakes along the way, but... We will fix them. Together. Ok?" Dean finished just as they arrived to the bunker garage door. He stopped the car there and turned to Sarah. He looked down on her hand, took it in his and sighed before raising his eyes to her.

"We got this." was all he said. He wanted to tell her so much more, but he just couldn't find the words. Or courage to tell her yet. To tell her that she has been his rock this whole time, that she took care of him the way he used to do to everyone around him and that he would be happy to be allowed to support her through this and to be her rock too. But this was Dean Winchester and he might say he doesn't do chick-flick moments, but the truth was, he was always afraid to open up his heart to anyone.

Sarah seemed to pick up on all those emotions cursing through his mind, and he didn't have to say it, she knew. She smiled at him, her eyes tearing up just a bit and finally took a deep breath as she asked "What did I do to deserve you?" Dean blinked in slight shock. Did he really have that much worth to somebody? He ducked his head and tried to regain his thoughts for a moment. He could ask her the same.

It never occurred to him that she has been viewed as different, as strange her whole life and the way he just accepted her and viewed her as a human being that needed a kind word here and there... The way he smiled at her and didn't see her as some freak, not even after she... And she felt like an ever bigger freak now, because before she could sense things and now she can... Heal. Put to sleep. Smite. Hurt and kill... And it is just... It's a lot.

"You did the same as I... To deserve you." Dean said and now even more tears prickled in her eyes and she leaned in and kiss him. Her lips were so soft against his, the smell of lilac instantly filled the air and it all made Dean dizzy for only a second. He still stayed leaning in for a moment longer after she pulled away and then blinked back to reality while Sarah giggled silently at the look on his face. He squinted his eyes at her in a fake pout and through a smile said "Do that again."

Sarah saw it as a dare and she slowly, extremely slowly leaned in, coming so close to his lips and just... Hovering there. He could feel her breath, the warmth of her lips right there. But she wouldn't move past that. And each time Dean would try ti inch forward, she would move back as if she knew the exact moment he would move. She knew he would snap eventually and pull her in, but she expected another deep kiss, and not just a peck that he ended up giving her, smirking back at her. Two can play that game.

Dean got out of the car and opened the garage door to drive the Impala in. Coming back he could see Sarah watching him and he winked at her before sitting back in the car and driving them inside. She didn't move as the car stopped, instead she pulled him back when the tried to get out of the car to close the garage door. There was a one-sided smile as she pulled him for another long dizzying kiss before pulling back and bolting out of the car when she felt him surrender into the kiss. She went and closed the door and ran back to the car too peek inside. Dean was just sitting there, his eyes closed, a bit flushed.

"How about dinner?" She asked and Dean peeled his eyes open and looked at her. He actually planned to stop in town and get a take-out for them, he just... Got sidetracked.

"I'll go get us something."

"No, I can whip something up." Sarah countered. Dean still remained seated in the car and just leaned on the passenger seat to get a better look at her.

"You don't have to do that, you know. You don't have to cook and clean and..." He said but she just waved him off.

"I want to. I love to do that, it... Relaxes me. Come with me, got something to show you." Sarah said and turned to walk to the kitchen, her ponytail bouncing after her and Dean just had to huff a laugh. She was just... Amazing. So he got out of the car and followed Sarah to the kitchen, but noticed she was lingering in front of a door next to the kitchen. It was actually a giant freezer with 10 shelves to store food in and they mostly kept it empty unless Dean bought some extra meat for his barbecue. And now, when Sarah opened it...

"When... How... Wha..." Dean tried looking back and forth between the full freezer and her.

"While you slept. I went out and got a few things and..." up to that point she had a smile on her face, but it faded a bit when she said "... I have trouble sleeping, I... I have insomnia..."

Dean reached and set his hand on her upper arm and smiled at her. "That's the thing about angels. They don't need to sleep at all." Sarah's face instantly brightened at that fact. All her life she slept very little and when she became aware of it, she looked it up and learned all about insomnia, but it was different. People suffering from insomnia usually were Irritable, depressed, filled with anxiety. They had trouble focusing, feeling tired and not rested, but not Sarah. An hour of sleep a day and she could go the next 72 hours without sleep. Sure, she slept when she wanted to, but it wasn't a necessity. And it always bugged her, like everything else it made her feel different and like a freak.

But knowing the reason why it was like that... It made her feel a bit lighter. It was normal for angels to be like that, and by some standards, she was normal, even though she wasn't technically an angel. It was messed up, but it made her feel better. The gratified smile lingered on her face as she looked from Dean to the freezer and than back.

"So, what do you feel like eating? I got frozen pizzas, burgers, lasagna..." She started and Dean interrupted.

"I'm gonna marry you, you know that?" He said, making it sound like a joke, his eyes bright as he glanced at the full freezer. Sarah started laughing and he followed, a thought sneaking into his mind. A thought that even if he said it as a joke, a great part of him meant it. Maybe not marry her on paper, considering he was declared dead... A few times... But, the thought of settling down with her someday... He would even give up hunting, not that she would ever want him to and that was just one of those things about her he lov... he really likes.

"Pizza it is." Sarah finally said like she read his mind. "Pepperoni and extra cheese, right?" She picked up a wrapper and Dean was slightly confused to see it was just wrapped in plastic, no box, no... _OMG, she kneaded the dough herself. She made the whole damn pizza_. Damn, could she be any more perfect? Dean followed her as she went to the kitchen and washed her hands at the sink before unwrapping the pizza and shoving it in the oven. She took out the plates and the cutlery to set the table, but Dean stopped her. He took the plates and placed them on two trays and when the pizza was done he placed slices on the plates and motioned for her to follow him.

"Oh, this is awesome! Wait... Is this like a man cave?" Sarah asked, eyes filed with wonder as Dean brought her to a room he indeed considered his man cave. In fact, Sarah was the first girl to step in it.

"I thought we could watch a movie. Sam texted to say they were on the way back, which means they should be back tomorrow and..." Dean trailed off, just realizing what he was saying.

"...And tonight we have the bunker to ourselves?" Sarah supplied wiggling an eyebrow and smirking, and then started laughing as Dean cleared his throat, slightly blushing. They set in a different lazy chair each and Dean flipped through Netflix to find something they could both watch. Netflix had _Final Destination_ listed as the top viewed and Dean laughed imagining Billie trailing a group of kids and killing them because they escaped death. The new _Halloween _was also listed, but Dean had no desire to watch another Michael roaming the neighborhood trying to kill everyone.

Strangely, Sarah liked horror. She liked every title he read, _Conjuring 2, Bird box, A quiet place..._ But Dean didn't. All of these new-age horrors were... Too weird for him. He liked the old plain _slice-'n'-dice-'em, _with a hot girl getting slashed and the cute guy getting gutted and only one survives. But there wasn't anything like that on, so Dean finally settled on a movie Sarah suggested - _Escape room_. He had to hand it to them, they made some pretty interesting scenes. But the fact that this was just some sicko playing with those people hit a little too close to home. Give him a monster movie any day of the week.

Sarah was excited for the first part of the movie, loving how a simple girl figured things out, but as the movie came closer to the ending, it became evident Dean wasn't enjoying it much. Even worse, his thoughts were elsewhere, like the whole storyline reminded him of something bad and when the movie ended the way it did... It seemed to have left him in a pool of anger and depression. Someone must have manipulated him once, Sarah thought.

Still, when the end credits began to roll, he smiled at Sarah and picked up the plates, telling her he will go and wash the dishes while she could relax and watch some more TV if she wanted to. She let him take the dishes, but didn't stay, deciding on following him to the kitchen and lingering in the back, quietly. Dean realized she must have sensed his feelings and was probably worried so he tried to focus on something else. Anything else.

Dean gasped immediately feeling embarrassed about the sound he let out when he felt arms wrapped around his stomach and a body leaned into his, giving him a warm, soothing hug. But then he smiled, a genuine smile because she just radiated this warmth and it felt like sunshine after a rainy day, and she probably didn't even know she did that.

Slowly, he turned around to face her and she watched him with those bright blue eyes of hers and he felt like she could see straight into his soul. Heck, maybe she could. But those blue sapphires were just too damn mesmerizing for him to be able to form a question. His heart pounded hard as her lips neared his and damn, he could smell that lilac in again.

But the real surprising thing was the taste of her kiss, the feel of carnival and the taste of cotton candy. It was just like reliving a happy memory, so soothing and exhilarating and just... Blissful. And too short.

Sarah pulled away smiling at him and asked "I'm sorry about the movie, I should have let you choose. You ok?" There was a bit of concern and guilt in her eyes that beamed at him when he smiled widely, pulled her closer and set another slow kiss on her lips.

"Am now..." He teased a bit between kisses he just couldn't seem to get enough. His hand came to her jawline, his thumb brushing over her cheek for a moment before it traveled down her neck and settled on her shoulder and as he did, her lips started tasting less like cotton candy and more like that cinnamon apple pie Dean loved so much, the same kind that reminded him of the old times. It felt good, it felt a bit nostalgic. It felt like home.

Sarah giggled when his hand came up to her waist to hold her steady and close, his lips unable to part hers, not even for a moment. Her mere presence filled him with tranquility and peace, and he knew. His life changed the moment she came into it, and he wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe finally he could be happy, maybe finally he could allow himself to be. He gripped her waist just a bit tighter, like he wanted to make sure she wasn't going anywhere. To that, Sarah hummed.

Her hand came up to his shoulder and then slowly moved down to his upper arm, feeling the hard muscles under the flannel shirt and she squeezed it just a bit. He let out a hum of his own and all of the sudden he could taste chocolate and... Cherries? No, make that candied cherries. Huh. That was... Unexpected. And quite thrilling. Sarah's kisses became a bit more deeper, a bit more lustful and Dean followed slowly getting lost in her closeness. He felt himself getting excited and could feel Sarah smile into the kiss. Oh, of course, she could probably feel that too. But it didn't matter, not when she drew closer and leaned into him, and his tush coming up to hit the counter behind him. The taste of chocolate intensified and it sent a jolt down to his stomach as their kiss deepened, becoming something much more... Becoming filled with desire.

"Uh... Um... I need to..." Dean said as he pulled away and practically ran down the hall. He was positive she felt _that_ and he didn't know why he was feeling so embarrassed about it. Dean, the ladies man, blushed like a little girl before the prom kiss, Jesus! Dean had no idea why he was acting like this, but it must have had something to do with his growing feelings for her. She wasn't just some random girl he picked up a bar, no she was... Special... To him. She meant something to him, and maybe this reaction was his mind telling him he should take it slow and not just make this about... sex.

He reached his room, but stopped at the door, only then realizing Sarah was following him. She was probably concerned and confused by his behavior and still, he didn't know what to tell her. Because he wanted her. Oh, God, did he want her. But he didn't want to rush it and break them before there was a _them. _He could almost feel the worry seeping out of Sarah, but he heard her suck in a deep breath and he felt her inch closer, almost leaning on his back. He closed his eyes heavily, feeling her breath on his neck, so warm and tingling.

"So was that a gun or were you just happy to be kissing me?"

"Oh! My! God!" Dean exclaimed laughing so hard and turning to Sarah. It was the worst pick up line he heard, and he has heard and delivered plenty, it was so cheesy, but it had him laughing six ways to Sunday because it was so perfect. So Sarah. Leave it up to her to make him laugh at any given moment.

She laughed too, slowly toning the laughter down as she watched him. The warm smile lingered as she spoke "I really liked where this was going. But if you don't feel up to it... That's ok too." She said as she glanced down in his chest, playing with a shirt button and then looked up at him again. "It is getting late, I should probably head back to my room and try and catch some sleep." Sarah added and turned around.

A hand grabbed hers and she smiled devilishly before she was forced to turn back and kiss those soft full lips again, slowly melting away in those strong arms. Ok, so revered psychology worked on Dean, good to know.

Dean was lost in that intoxicating taste of her lips once again, too distracted to tell if he was pulling them into his room, or was she pushing them in, not like it mattered. She wanted this as much as he did and that's all that was of any importance right now. He was too lost in those sweet lips of hers, tasting like the most wonderful chocolate he has ever tasted, too lost to notice he took of his shirt while she did the same. Did he even have any shoes on?

He most certainly did notice when she ran her hands down his chest, sending multiple shivers down his spine, and came down to trace his lower stomach, lingering there for a moment before tugging at his belt. His hands were all over her soft skin, skimming up her waist line and going around her back,all the while not separating their lips. But when she tugged at his belt, he pulled away to give her room and only then noticed the pink laced bra that hid away her breasts. And as much as he liked it, it had to go.

Just as Sarah undid his belt he leaned in and kiss her again, more hungrily this time and she reciprocated feeling the butterflies in her stomach flap vigorously. She felt his warm hands move slowly up, almost massaging her back until it came to her bra. She huffed a smile into the kiss as Dean unclasped it with ease, and immediately she pressed herself closer. Dean gasped at the feeling of her breasts against his chest, they were so warm. The kissing continued passionately, Dean's hands caressing her bare back as her hands traveled from his shoulders back to his chest and down his not-so-firm-anymore abs. He felt her fingers tracing his skin just on the outline of his jeans and just as they became too tight for him Sarah managed to undo that button, and the zipper undid itself as Dean's erection sprung free along with not so confining boxers with hearts on them.

Sarah glanced down and started giggling. "Oh, is my underwear that funny?" Dean asked falsely offended as he tried to remove Sarah's jeans. Damn girls and their tight jeans, they look amazing in them, but they are a real pain to remove. Still, makes Dean appreciate a bit more the trouble woman go through to look that good.

"No, they're adorable." Sarah giggled some more, he face buried in Dean's shoulder. She had no idea why, but he smelled like pines and forest and it felt so good so... Calming. She could feel him shiver whenever she let out a breath, clearly affected, so she purposely leaned in and let out a warm breath in the crook of his neck and she could feel Dean pause his movement, and let out a small sound, something between a grunt and a moan. She was driving him crazy. Just as he seemed to have collected himself, Sarah took a step further and pressed her lips against his skin, and this time, no matter how much he tried to contain it, a moan escaped Dean's throat.

Dean was slowly getting dizzy. He has been with women so many times before, but this was... This was different. He didn't know if it had something to do with the angel blood, maybe Sarah letting out some pheromones or something, if that was the case, he didn't care. It was just too damn good. There was a small chance that this had more to do with his own feelings for her, or maybe that they just went so well together and he liked that idea. Maybe this was the universe saying he deserved to be happy. Maybe she was made for him.

Dean snapped out of it when he noticed Sarah came to his aid and slid her own jeans over her hips, letting the gravity do the rest and curiosity got the best o him and he just had to glance down. If he wasn't so turned on by her kisses he would have laughed at the pink laced panties that matched that pink laced bra, but he had to admit it all added to the amazing moment and this... He didn't want it to end.

Apparently, neither did Sarah.

He was getting to lost in the feel of her lips, in the smell of her soft skin, he needed to do something, he needed to feel her even closer, he needed to taste her. Her lips still tasted of chocolate and cherry syrup, but he moved away from her lips, around her jaw line and down her neck and he saw her let her head fall back, allowing him more access. Seemed like she liked it, if her heavy breathing was any indication. So he kept kissing leaving little red marks down her neck all the way to her shoulder and down her collar bone and he could feel her heart pounding and her breath coming out short.

"D... Dean... I..." She tried, her words slurry and lost between each breath, and then Dean felt himself being pushed away. Maybe he went to far too fast, maybe she wasn't enjoying it as much. Or maybe she was just trying to get him down to that bed that was behind him, the same one he fell on once she pushed him again. He sat on it, letting his hands fall back to stop him from falling all the way down and he pulled himself forward, setting his hand on her hips and pulling her closer to trace more kisses on her stomach. He felt her hands in his hair, coming down to his cheek and he slowly hooked her panties with his finger and puled them down. He looked up at her, his eyes sparkling with lust and she looked down on him and smiled between those hot breaths. She was so beautiful like this, flustered, her lips a bit swollen from his kisses, her breasts rising up and down trying to catch air into her lungs.

Sarah leaned down and let their lips meet again, savoring his taste as she pushed him to lay on the bed and Dean watched her remove his jeans all the way before her fingers came up to the rim of his boxers and he felt some strange burning in his cheeks as she slowly pulled them down, her face only inches away from his pulsing member. He swallowed hard watching her lick her lips before biting down on the lower one as her hand traveled from his knee up his thigh. He sucked in a sharp breath as her fingers traced around his crotch, coming up so near and then brushing past it, going up his stomach. Her teasing smile filled Dean's chest with affection, but the next second he was gasping again as she crawled up to him, his member brushing between her breasts as she moved up. When she reached him,she set more kisses on his lips, making them part open to allow her tongue to slip in and caress his.

Without even looking, Dean reached to his nightstand and pulled out a few condoms from the drawer, ripping one from the others and the fumbling blindly with it, trying to opened it. Sarah broke the kiss and took it from him, opening it up and then carefully pulling it over Dean's... Body part.

Slowly, she moved into position and Dean held his breath watching her straighten up, her body curling to the sides to settle and then slowly moving down, gently taking him in. He watched her, breath held as she closed her eyes and bit down in her lower lip, feeling her all around his hard member, feeling the warmth and the incredible tightness. He heard her breath out gingerly, her breath hitching up just a bit, a slight pained frown crossing her face only for a split second. Dean almost missed it.

"You... - he stopped to clear his dry throat - You ok?"

"Ahm." Sarah confirmed with a not, just sitting there and breathing for a moment before she spoke again, her eyes still closed tight. "It's just... It's just a little bit big." Oh, God he was hurting her, and he never wanted to do that. In his worry, he tried to move, the motion only hurting her more and having her let out a small grunt.

"Oh, I... I'm so sorry.. I..." Dean tried, suddenly starting to panic, not knowing what to do. Maybe she should get up, and get off and they should stop and...

"Shh... Stop. Don't... Move." She said breathing in and out, pausing for another moment before speaking again, her voice quiet, almost a whisper. "Just... Stay. There... Just... Just give me... A second." And Dean fell still, perfectly still, almost not breathing, concern written on his face as he watched her breath in and out. He was so worried that he hurt her, even if she was the one that was on top, she pulled all the moves. He did the only thing he could, letting his hands caress her hips, offering a bit of a comfort or a bit of a distraction, either way, she didn't seem to mind that.

Finally, she opened her eyes, and looked down on him, and he swore she could see the entire galaxy in those bright blues. He stared at them, mesmerized, his mouth hanging slightly open, looking much like a little kid. Sarah carefully leaned in and kissed him much more tenderly, Dean feeling each movement she made as he moved with her, within her. She pulled away after a minute or so, and he almost followed after her elusive lips but stopped himself and opened his eyes to see her smile a bit devilishly at him. And then she started moving, ever so slowly at first, rocking back and forth and dear Lord! he could feel it all, his member moving inside of her, brushing against everything and being so tight, it felt incredibly good.

She moved and moved, back and forth, and Dean's hand gripped her hips anchoring her, their eyes still locked on each other. Their breaths increased up to small pants, both getting lost in that amazing feeling of being connected. Dean watched her and she licked her dry lips before leaning in to steal more kisses, both feeling the thrill clouding their minds. He reached and cupped her cheeks, then slowly moving his lips to kiss he neck again. He must have kissed the right spot because he could feel her shiver and he could hear her hum between the panting, so he pressed on to tease that same spot.

Sarah's movements slowed to a still and then she raised up, letting him out, but not all the way. She leaned a bit into him and he seized the opportunity to trace his kisses down her collarbone, his hand coming up to cup her breast. She drew in a shaky breath as his soft lips brushed against her nipple and unknowingly, she started to sink back down on him, making him moan. But as she sat back down, she was too far out of reach and apparently she liked what he was doing, because she was rising up again, leading her breasts to his warm mouth. She sat down and rose again, sat and rose, and after a while, the feel of his big hard cock going inside of her and then back out, hitting that special spot over and over again made her get lost in the pure bliss of it and she straightened herself up, arching her back and sliding down Dean in a bit of a different angle making them both moan.

Dean's hands gripped her hips tight again and he helped her move up and down as he stared back at her, she was so damn beautiful like this. All he could focus on was her and even that was slowly slipping away as he felt himself nearing the edge, engulfed in that intoxicating feeling of her body, of how good she felt around him, of how it all was slowly driving him mad. She sat back down, a bit harder, and grunted again, but then laid on him, burring her head in his neck. She started kissing him, leaving small bites down his neck and spoke up between kisses.

"D... Dean... That's... I need... You..."

"I'm right here." He said panting harder and harder.

"No... I need you... I... Need you to... I can't..." Slight worry washed over him, but she kept moving and he kept letting her, her closeness clouding his mind completely. God he was so close, he felt like he was falling apart underneath her. "D... Dean.. I need... I can't... Move... I need you to... to move... F... Fa... Faster." A strong jolt shook his entire system at her words and his eyes went wide for only a moment before he griped her hips hard, steadied her and thrusted up into her. "Oh! Yes, Dean! F... Faster... Faster..." Her words alone would be enough to make him explode for the ecstasy, but she wasn't there yet, not quite yet and he thrusted up again and she screamed his name and immediately yelled "Ha... Harder..." as if she was assuring him it was a scream of pleasure and Dean obliged hanging on barely. He thrusted once more, and she screamed his name once again, falling apart, clenching all around his rock hard member making him gasp at the feeling. Thrusting two more times left him a moaning shouting mess too. And then. Then he saw the stars.

Or were those her eyes?

He wasn't sure, all he knew is that she was in his arms as he came down from that high, both panting hard trying to regain their breath. He pulled her a bit up and slipped out of her, and she gave out a disgruntled sound, not moving to get off of him. And he actually liked it. She felt like a warm blanket wrapped around him, but he reached to a side of his bed and pulled a real blanket to throw over them both. To that, Sarah hummed pleasingly and he huffed a smile.

He could feel her chest rising with every breath she took and he could feel her heart beating, feeling like it was beating in sync with his own. This. Felt good. Felt perfect. _God, I hope this is real._ Dean thought to himself, it wasn't real, he she was never really their, Dean knew it would be the last straw and that he would finally break.

As if she heard his thoughts Sarah lifted her head from where it was resting on his chest and looked him in the eyes. "You're really one of a kind, you know that?" She meant it too. She had relations before, but the way Dean seemed to understand everything about her just from a single touch, move, kiss... It was amazing. "Just so you know, I am not letting you go. Like ever."

What she said made him smile as he looked back at her with warmth in his eyes. "Yeah... Yeah... - he said in a teasing matter - I don't believe you."

"Why not?" She asked, lifting her head up even more to look at him properly, a slightly confused expression on her face.

"Well... Cuz... Sooner or later... One of us is going to have to pee.." Dean started with a serious expression and as Sarah rolled her eyes at him, while her lips quirked into a smile, he continued "... Or to eat something, maybe drink some water... Take a shower..."

"Yeah, no. Nope. Not happening." Sarah said laying back on him, her arms hugging him tightly and her legs intertwining with his. He smiled gently looking down at her as she settled back and he raised his hand to caress her hair. He hadn't even noticed when she lost the scrunchie and the , but as her lavishing hair was spread around his torso, he realized he liked it just a bit better that way. And whist this was the first time he was seeing her with her hair down, he liked to think it was for his eyes only. Maybe he was the first and the only one to see her like that, with her hair and her guard down. Remembering her words from before, maybe he really was.

Maybe she was really made just for him.

* * *

Dean woke up so well rested and with a smile. He must have fell asleep thinking about Sarah and realized that some time during the night she moved off of him and was now hugging him from behind, acting like a big spoon. Meaning he was the little spoon. He moved away, got up into a sitting position and smiled feeling slightly embarrassed as he ran his hands over his face.

He glanced back at her, all that hair covering up her face and he leaned in to move it away. She hummed in response but didn't wake up, a satisfying smile flashing upon her face. Dean lingered a bit, just watching her sleep and enjoying the quiet moment. His thoughts were once again directed at her and of what happened last night.

And then he remembered. "Oh... Eh..." Looking down on himself, he pinched the used condom between two fingers, and finally took the damn thing off, tossing it into a bin. Yeah, he really needed that shower. But then as he tried to get up, he felt her hand on his, and he allowed her to intertwine their fingers together. She seemed to still be asleep so he was suprised when she spoke up. Or rather mumbled.

"Wh'r ya goin'?"

"Shower." He replied.

"Nu-huh."

"Why not?" He asked with a slight frown.

"N't let'n' ya go." She simply replied and Dean started laughing at that.

"Alright... How about you join me then?" He teased back and couldn't hold another laugh as her eyes shot wide open at his insinuation. Smiling, she rose rose up and leaned to peck him on the lips, not wanting him to feel her morning breath and then answered his question.

"Now, that... I can do."

* * *

"Something smells amazing!" Julia said as they entered the hallway that lead from the garage to the kitchen. It was almost evening when they arrived, and Juls kept complaining she was hungry, but Sam said that Sarah was making dinner and Dean told them not to stop to eat. She was a little sceptical about Sarah, but remembered the last meal she made and it made her mouth water.

"Sure does." Sam replied carting in her luggage. He glanced over on her bike as they came in, only then realizing she left it behind on purpose, to have a reason to come back if her father insisted she stayed with him. The thought made him smile.

"Hey, guys." Sarah said in what Julia would describe as a over-cheery voice. "Ok, go wash up, dinner is almost ready."

"What smells so good?" Sam asked nodding as to say hello.

"Oh, this? This is... It is a Slovakian traditional dish. It is beef goulash with champignons stuffed inside a potato pancake." Sarah explained and both just gaped at her.

"Has beer in it too." Dean added with a wide smile as he popped in.

"Ok, let me get this straight. It has meat, pancake AND beer inside?" Julia asked staring at what Sarah was doing. The blond was just putting on finishing touches on the dish serving it with lettuce and she replied without even looking back.

"A-huh."

"Awesome!" Julia replied as she ran towards the bathrooms to wash up, leaving Sam to huff a smile and carry the rest of the luggage.

The very first bite Julia and Dean took made them moan loudly in delight while both Sam and Sarah flushed in slight embarrassment at the sounds their partners were making. Sam tried it and hummed, nodding at Sarah, saying it tasted amazing, while Juls and Dean just stuffed their faces in it. The rest of the evening went on in small talk, Sam and Juls telling about their encounter with a demon. A demon. A random demon. Juls wasn't ready to talk about her past, and the only one that remained clueless was Dean. Sarah naturally sensed some deeper issues, but decided to say nothing on the matter.

The evening pasted and dinner was done, Julia going to Sam's room to unpack a few things she knew she will be needing that night and Sarah went back to the kitchen to do the dishes. Dean offered to help, but she waved him off, telling him she's got it and that he could take a moment or two to talk to Sam. They both smiled watching her blond ponytail bouncing as she left the room.

"So..." Dean said.

"So..." Sam repeated and Dean smiled at him.

"We're really doing this, huh?" Dean asked reffering to the girls and Sam huffed a smile.

"Yup."

They both looked at one another, words completely irrelevant as they both knew what the other one was thinking. Even though Dean was a bit surprised by Julia's character, he would still support his brother and try to be friends with her, despite them butting heads from the start. Sam was actually intrigued by Sarah and the possibility she might have demon blood in her. That is until Dean informed him otherwise.

"She has angel blood in her system, not demon blood." Dean started and Sam frowned in surprise at him. Dean told him all about the encounter with Ezekiel and ended the story with the possibility that Sarah might have Gabriel's blood in her system which would account for the extent of her powers. Sam was actually intrigued by all of it, and just like Dean, not at all taken aback by the fact that she was different. Heck, ten years ago he was considered a freak himself.

When Sarah came back into the room, Sam looked up at her with some spark of acceptance in his eyes and Sarah noticed. "You told him, didn't you?" She asked Dean, not a smidge of anger or resentment in her voice. She just took a deep breath and smiled at Sam as he told her he was completely ok with it and that he was even interested to learn what her exact powers were. She could only describe the glace at a person's soul she was able to do, and occasionally sense other people's emotions, but other than that, she wasn't sure.

It was Dean who said she could smite and heal, having done so when she was driven by emotions, that she could make someone fall asleep and that she could probably dreamwalk. That was when Sarah learned that the beach and ocean dream she had back at the hospital was in fact real on Dean's part. They both shared a look, both remembering the kids in that dream, but decided not to bring it up. Yet.

"I would like to help you learn how to use those other powers." Sam said and could see some indecisiveness in Sarah's eyes.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Dean said and she smiled at him, saying she will think it over.

Julia came in, and immediately all three could tell something's wrong. "Juls, what is it?" Sam asked getting up from the table.

"A friend of mine from Baltimore is in trouble. I am not sure if it is supernatural trouble, but it certainly is weird and I need to go help her." Julia explained and Sam immediately responded.

"I'll come with you."

Dean glanced back at Sarah and she looked at him, sensing he too wanted to go, but knew if she asked him to, he would stay behind. "Can... Can we come too?" Sarah asked, not just because she thought it would make Dean happy, but also feeling like they were supposed to come along too.

"Oh, yeah! Roadtrip!" Dean exclaimed, feeling excited about their very first joint hunt. That might not even be a hunt, but what the heck. Both Sam and Sarah huffed a smile at his antics and Julia huffed in annoyance at his cheeky attitude while her friend was in trouble. But she guessed an extra set of eyes and ears couldn't hurt. And she wouldn't admit it, but she was curious about Sarah too and this might be a good opportunity to see what the girl can do.

So, since it was a 20 hour drive to Baltimore, they agreed to get a few hours of shut eye and then head out in the dead of night, so that, with pit stops and all, they could make it there first thing Monday morning. They would take the Impala and switch drivers not stopping for a night anywhere and Julia could fill them in along the way.

And just like that, a new case was on a horisont and each of them had some different expectations and fears that kept them up for most of the night. Time to see how well would they function as a group. As a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it folks!
> 
> Tell me how much you liked it, especially this last chapter. Lol. Seriously thought, be honest, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate it? It is my very first romance kinda fic and I wish to know if it was a success.
> 
> Still that won't stop me from making a sequel. Haven't you all wondered where Cas was this entire time? Maybe we should go and see? Keep a lookout for a new story called "Curious Case of Castiel"
> 
> Toddle-oo.


End file.
